Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

o, what is the sound
of one hairy white cheek clenching
my ass is on fire
Haiku # 23804, December 9, 2002 2:33 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
a prophecy here
maestro shall not defeat
the battle puppy
Haiku # 23803, December 9, 2002 2:31 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
Puppy is so bad
He will fart in your corn flakes
Make them Cocoa Puffs.
Haiku # 23802, December 9, 2002 2:14 pm ET
by Battlepuppy
Puppy waits for maestro
to bring any kind of class
to badhaiku
Haiku # 23801, December 9, 2002 2:12 pm ET
by Battlepuppy
Fear me, the Battle Puppy
Boundless is my naked wrath
All shards, plaster, shit
Haiku # 23800, December 9, 2002 2:09 pm ET
by Battlepuppy
Poorly trained, this pup
Battlepuppy very bad
Pees on fresh cornflakes
Haiku # 23799, December 9, 2002 2:06 pm ET
by Battlepuppy
immense voltage drop
across conductive organs
required to shock me
Haiku # 23798, December 9, 2002 1:28 pm ET
by maestro
the hammer shall drop
upon canine cranium
"Down, Battlepuppy!"
Haiku # 23797, December 9, 2002 1:23 pm ET
by maestro
I'm feeling stupid
get me some coffee, damnit
or perhaps cornflakes
Haiku # 23796, December 9, 2002 1:18 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
stupid people say
here, make me copies of this
and get me coffee

stupid people pee
in your cornflakes or oatmeal
they sure are bastards
Haiku # 23795, December 9, 2002 1:17 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
initial dram: noon
courting imbecility
awash in spirits
Haiku # 23794, December 9, 2002 1:16 pm ET
by maestro
i'm just about there
people are pissing me off
stupid people suck!
Haiku # 23793, December 9, 2002 1:08 pm ET
by tiger of vegas
words that make you cringe
like "quivering" or "polyps"
as pop tart flavors
Haiku # 23792, December 9, 2002 12:07 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
will you stand before
the fury of his armies?
his naked buttocks?
Haiku # 23791, December 9, 2002 12:03 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
thus descends the god
battle puppy in bad verse
with a gay uncle
Haiku # 23790, December 9, 2002 12:00 pm ET
by Drophammer of steely stuff
Point at everyone else
For THEY are the true problems
Naw, couldn't be you.
Haiku # 23789, December 9, 2002 11:59 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Poor me, says bachelor
No one is good enough
But wait... he's an ass.
Haiku # 23788, December 9, 2002 11:57 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Fat, androgynous
Balding, glasses on smug nose
Wit, yes, but looks... no.
Haiku # 23787, December 9, 2002 11:55 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Girls run screaming
After a single one-nighter
Musta been with Ed
Haiku # 23786, December 9, 2002 11:52 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Sits on a man-pole
Has to get it from somewhere
Girls always run
Haiku # 23785, December 9, 2002 11:45 am ET
by Battlepuppy
I go way too far?
I have much farther to go
Ain't seen nothin yet.
Haiku # 23784, December 9, 2002 11:39 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Smelly man-juice hits
like a wet, breadless sandwich
Right on Ed's forehead.
Haiku # 23783, December 9, 2002 11:38 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Hung like a squirrel
He dives for the clitoris
Says he's an oak tree
Haiku # 23782, December 9, 2002 11:36 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Sitting there quiet,
Birds chirping, playing banjo
Uncle is still gay.
Haiku # 23781, December 9, 2002 11:34 am ET
by Battlepuppy
My ass cheeks spread wide
plaster pours forth, shards aplenty
shit plaster shards... ow.
Haiku # 23780, December 9, 2002 11:31 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Previous haiku
not meant to make fun of 9-11
My uncle is gay.
Haiku # 23779, December 9, 2002 11:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fields aplenty, patches
People looking like small ants
From a crashing plane
Haiku # 23778, December 9, 2002 11:29 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Tribute to heroes
Standing tall amidst masses
My steely man-pole
Haiku # 23777, December 9, 2002 11:26 am ET
by Battlepuppy
frothy excrement
speedy jet of greenish goo
pants are smoldering
Haiku # 23776, December 9, 2002 11:22 am ET
by Drophammer of somewhere you never want to be
Two more languages
could maybe sometime be tried -
but only one I'll dare
Haiku # 23775, December 9, 2002 9:05 am ET
by R. of PT
Until now used four,
Some are easy some are not
All are really fun
Haiku # 23774, December 9, 2002 9:02 am ET
by R. of PT
Spanish Portuguese
Can be really special fun
but need time to think
Haiku # 23773, December 9, 2002 8:58 am ET
by R. of PT
Other languages
can be called appropriate too -
Will try that one day
Haiku # 23772, December 9, 2002 8:55 am ET
by R. of PT
French too many syl's
Italian nobody knows
English more popular
Haiku # 23771, December 9, 2002 8:50 am ET
by R. of PT
De quelle humeur t'es?
Ne les laisse pas decider
pour toute la journee
Haiku # 23770, December 9, 2002 8:48 am ET
by R. of PT
Don't let them decide
that happy is not your mood
when you start your day
Haiku # 23769, December 9, 2002 8:44 am ET
by R. of PT
When you start your day
is it radio or the news
who decide your mood
Haiku # 23768, December 9, 2002 8:40 am ET
by R. of PT
Let's say happiness
should be the one driving force
behind all one's moods
Haiku # 23767, December 9, 2002 8:12 am ET
by R. of PT
Is "fun" the right word -
Or "happiness" maybe is
a much better choice
Haiku # 23766, December 9, 2002 8:10 am ET
by R. of PT
Haiku is just fun -
Holiness is everywhere
and can be fun too
Haiku # 23765, December 9, 2002 8:08 am ET
by R. of PT
PT number 6
Raising popularity -
But is this what counts?
Haiku # 23764, December 9, 2002 8:04 am ET
by R. of PT
Raise my eyes towards
the mountains from which help comes -
Help from the Creator
Haiku # 23763, December 9, 2002 8:01 am ET
by R. of PT
Did not deserve it
Though I was saved anyway -
Magnanimity
Haiku # 23762, December 9, 2002 7:55 am ET
by R of PT
Last haiku should say
Eventu'ly gave way to
5 Syllables, Oops
Haiku # 23761, December 9, 2002 12:40 am ET
by Drinkin on Lincoln of Chicago
Festapalooza
Eventually Gave Way To
Twelve Beers of Christmas
Haiku # 23760, December 9, 2002 12:38 am ET
by Drinkin on Lincoln of Chicago
GREEN BAY PACKERS RULE
practice saying GREEN BAY PACK-
ERS SUPER BOWL CHAMPS
Haiku # 23759, December 8, 2002 11:51 pm ET
by PACKERS RULE
so disappointing
H B O's Sopranos sucked
fuhgeddaboudit
Haiku # 23758, December 8, 2002 10:39 pm ET
by sheesh
my nose is pouring
provoked by plumes of bushfires
wish it was raining
Haiku # 23757, December 8, 2002 7:29 pm ET
by ash
onjaysun, picked boss
in secret santa lotto!
any good, mean thoughts?
Haiku # 23756, December 8, 2002 4:03 pm ET
by sheena
now that it's over
was your holiday good, r?
by the way, m/f?
Haiku # 23755, December 8, 2002 2:41 pm ET
by sheena
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