Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Use your turn signal!
Are you really that busy
With the radio?
Haiku # 50867, April 11, 2014 10:57 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You can pick your friends
And you can pick your nose.
But you can't wipe your friends
on the back of the couch.
Haiku # 50866, April 9, 2014 9:08 am ET
by Bad Poetry of 19 2698826
The time loop ends here.
You are free to have free will.
Pick that, or your nose.
Haiku # 50865, April 9, 2014 12:54 am ET
by 0
I went to the zoo.
I saw some strange animals.
They weren't in cages.
Haiku # 50864, April 8, 2014 9:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Monkeys and Poodles
Michael Jackson and Hitler
It's a mad, mad world!
Haiku # 50863, April 7, 2014 8:44 pm ET
by 0
Tie up the poodle.
Let a monkey hump its leg.
Revenge is so sweet.
Haiku # 50862, April 7, 2014 10:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Tiger is lonely
Monkey knows it can not help
Snow plow scuba dive
Haiku # 50861, April 6, 2014 11:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
So appropriate
Snuffy was such a good dog
Little leg humper
Haiku # 50860, April 5, 2014 4:36 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola of Joni Mitchell
Haiku # 50859, April 5, 2014 3:50 am ET
by tpyiiyup of USA
Now pull my finger.
No, you pull my finger first.
Together on three...
Haiku # 50858, April 5, 2014 2:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku # 50857, April 5, 2014 2:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
If you we're honest
What would you say to yourself?
Would it blow your mind?
Haiku # 50856, April 5, 2014 1:52 am ET
by Shamdingo Ricola of inside you
I will count to three
Hoping things will get better
One, two, three,....nothing
Haiku # 50855, April 4, 2014 11:02 pm ET
by Phosphorous necktie
Homophobia
Is a sickness with a cure
Hope you get well soon
Haiku # 50853, April 4, 2014 8:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Anthropomorphic
Is a five syllable word
How fancy is that?
Haiku # 50851, April 1, 2014 8:57 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My mind is now blank.
I can't think of anything.
So I will write this.
Haiku # 50850, April 1, 2014 8:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pimpin' ain't easy
You should become drug dealer
Go work for Phizer
Haiku # 50849, March 31, 2014 8:38 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
Be your own boss then.
You could be a bad-ass pimp.
Makin' that money!
Haiku # 50848, March 30, 2014 7:51 am ET
by Free financial advice from a homeless man. of Wall Street sidewalk begging for spare change I can belive in.
Hey boss, go eat poop
Can't give me some more money?
Or health insurance?
Haiku # 50847, March 28, 2014 11:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Vaginoriffic!
Sublimy slimy funk blast.
Hairs stuck in my teeth.
Haiku # 50846, March 28, 2014 6:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Boner pills are great!
I eat them like they're candy
and wear baggy pants.
Haiku # 50845, March 27, 2014 10:09 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Perpetual Erection Machine
Haiku # 50844, March 27, 2014 4:49 am ET
by uowyouyy of USA
I am a racist!
I hate the whole human race.
Now give me your cash!
Haiku # 50843, March 27, 2014 1:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Nobody should rob
Nobody should be racist
But they do and are.
Haiku # 50842, March 26, 2014 11:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'd rather be robbed
by a black man with a gun
than cracker with pen.

Damn lawyers and banks!
They are the true robbers here.
My paycheck is gone.
Haiku # 50841, March 26, 2014 10:30 pm ET
by Fuck Whitey! of Down in Deep South, Lookin' for White Women.
Black persons gather,
Can't go night witohut robbin'
Them honest white folk.
Haiku # 50840, March 26, 2014 12:01 pm ET
by Filip
I wear white Speedos.
I like to show off my junk.
Pardon the skid marks.
Haiku # 50839, March 23, 2014 8:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Like it or not; Spring!
So much better than winter.
Time to wear Speedos
Haiku # 50838, March 23, 2014 2:07 pm ET
by Euro Beach Bear
This is my planet.
You've overstayed your welcome.
Please go and stay gone.
Haiku # 50837, March 22, 2014 3:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Guns are like douche bags.
When there is trouble at hand,
They can cause haiku.

Haiku # 50836, March 22, 2014 3:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bad itch in my eye
I am going to cry *sniff*
More salt hurts worse, mom!
Haiku # 50834, March 22, 2014 9:58 am ET
by Roberuto_Renga of plains of despair
See sleepy people
Wee sheep seeking through peephole
Meek peeks at chic freaks
Haiku # 50833, March 22, 2014 3:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku are like guns.
In the hands of a douche bag,
They can cause trouble.
Haiku # 50832, March 20, 2014 8:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Saying "bad haiku".
That is far too redundant.
All haiku are bad.
Haiku # 50831, March 20, 2014 7:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Treading the booger fields of snotdom and nostril hairs
Ideas, thoughts, feelings
Hover all day, and at night,
Spin like toilet water
Haiku # 50830, March 19, 2014 5:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
A dyslexic gay man saved up for a vacation to Geneva. After looking around he was very disappointed; there was no large hardon collider.
Haiku # 50829, March 19, 2014 4:53 pm ET
by evil bastard of New Jersey
I am back again,
I am Bob the Snob of the
Interet. Oh yes.

I haven't been here,
In years and years, I cannot
Believe this site's up!

Search for my name,
It's a nostalgia trip man.
I was here in grade 6.

And now I'm a man,
Already eighteen, oh man...
Time passes so fast.

And yet I live on,
By my pseudonym, on here.
Bob the Snob, hello.

I'm back, oh I'm back,
But not really for long, folks,
Just a look, now bye.

Seriously though,
Search my name here, it's crazy,
My posts from long past.
Haiku # 50828, March 18, 2014 9:46 pm ET
by Bob the Snob of The Internet
What a lame band name.
Try Midgets Fisting Kittens.
You'll go platinum!
Haiku # 50827, March 17, 2014 6:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Coming to your town!
My latest band named;Seal Fist.
We have no banjo.
Haiku # 50826, March 17, 2014 1:59 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I need your money.
I need it more than you do.
Whores ain't cheap, you know.
Haiku # 50825, March 16, 2014 9:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Who is this "Jesus".
The Yangtze river dolphin
has died for your sins.
Haiku # 50824, March 16, 2014 9:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Grande chai latte.
Double shot frappuccino.
Yes, I want whip cream!
Haiku # 50823, March 16, 2014 8:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Big fuckin' cold waves.
They are not wearing wet suits.
I'm glad I'm not them.
Haiku # 50822, March 16, 2014 8:56 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What is the shelf-life
Of a medical hard-on?
I think three minutes.

You will not please her.
Not with your shriveled up junk.
Buy her a dildo.
Haiku # 50821, March 16, 2014 8:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Welcome!
cialis shelf life ,
Haiku # 50820, March 16, 2014 4:55 am ET
by trrueyre of USA
Duck-billed platypus.
Is there any other kind?
Poison spurs scratch you.
Haiku # 50819, March 15, 2014 5:22 pm ET
by Ornithorhynchus anatinus of Yo momma's house.
Aunt Bea baking cakes.
Shogun, Desert, corrupt cop.
Turn signal for goats.
Haiku # 50818, March 15, 2014 3:10 am ET
by Transbingo Uncola
Angry breaking waves.
Snow on distant mountain top.
Dumb asses in boats.
Haiku # 50817, March 15, 2014 1:32 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
Sorry butt...
yomomma.com
Haiku # 50816, March 14, 2014 11:27 am ET
by Yo Momma! of New Jersey, of course
Haiku # 50815, March 14, 2014 3:54 am ET
by tytrtyuy of USA
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