haiku still on fire
for you alone, I'll tell all
my voices are awesome

my haiku is on fire
from mad skills and whiskey? -- No
I blame the full moon

Self moderation
Right here is a tricky thing
Sink down and fight it

Or leave it alone
Time will tell, but for now, best
just to say goodbye

Use your turn signal!
Are you really that busy
With the radio?

You can pick your friends
And you can pick your nose.
But you can't wipe your friends
on the back of the couch.

The time loop ends here.
You are free to have free will.
Pick that, or your nose.

I went to the zoo.
I saw some strange animals.
They weren't in cages.

Monkeys and Poodles
Michael Jackson and Hitler
It's a mad, mad world!

Tie up the poodle.
Let a monkey hump its leg.
Revenge is so sweet.

Tiger is lonely
Monkey knows it can not help
Snow plow scuba dive

So appropriate
Snuffy was such a good dog
Little leg humper

Aloha!
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Now pull my finger.
No, you pull my finger first.
Together on three...

If you we're honest
What would you say to yourself?
Would it blow your mind?

I will count to three
Hoping things will get better
One, two, three,....nothing

Homophobia
Is a sickness with a cure
Hope you get well soon

Anthropomorphic
Is a five syllable word
How fancy is that?

My mind is now blank.
I can't think of anything.
So I will write this.

Pimpin' ain't easy
You should become drug dealer
Go work for Phizer

Be your own boss then.
You could be a bad-ass pimp.
Makin' that money!

Hey boss, go eat poop
Can't give me some more money?
Or health insurance?

Vaginoriffic!
Sublimy slimy funk blast.
Hairs stuck in my teeth.

Boner pills are great!
I eat them like they're candy
and wear baggy pants.

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I am a racist!
I hate the whole human race.
Now give me your cash!

Nobody should rob
Nobody should be racist
But they do and are.

I'd rather be robbed
by a black man with a gun
than cracker with pen.

Damn lawyers and banks!
They are the true robbers here.
My paycheck is gone.

Black persons gather,
Can't go night witohut robbin'
Them honest white folk.

I wear white Speedos.
I like to show off my junk.
Pardon the skid marks.

Like it or not; Spring!
So much better than winter.
Time to wear Speedos

This is my planet.
You've overstayed your welcome.
Please go and stay gone.

Guns are like douche bags.
When there is trouble at hand,
They can cause haiku.

Bad itch in my eye
I am going to cry *sniff*
More salt hurts worse, mom!

See sleepy people
Wee sheep seeking through peephole
Meek peeks at chic freaks

Haiku are like guns.
In the hands of a douche bag,
They can cause trouble.

Saying "bad haiku".
That is far too redundant.
All haiku are bad.

Ideas, thoughts, feelings
Hover all day, and at night,
Spin like toilet water

A dyslexic gay man saved up for a vacation to Geneva. After looking around he was very disappointed; there was no large hardon collider.

I am back again,
I am Bob the Snob of the
Interet. Oh yes.

I haven't been here,
In years and years, I cannot
Believe this site's up!

Search for my name,
It's a nostalgia trip man.
I was here in grade 6.

And now I'm a man,
Already eighteen, oh man...
Time passes so fast.

And yet I live on,
By my pseudonym, on here.
Bob the Snob, hello.

I'm back, oh I'm back,
But not really for long, folks,
Just a look, now bye.

Seriously though,
Search my name here, it's crazy,
My posts from long past.

What a lame band name.
Try Midgets Fisting Kittens.
You'll go platinum!

Coming to your town!
My latest band named;Seal Fist.
We have no banjo.

I need your money.
I need it more than you do.
Whores ain't cheap, you know.

Who is this "Jesus".
The Yangtze river dolphin
has died for your sins.

Grande chai latte.
Double shot frappuccino.
Yes, I want whip cream!

Big fuckin' cold waves.
They are not wearing wet suits.
I'm glad I'm not them.

What is the shelf-life
Of a medical hard-on?
I think three minutes.

You will not please her.
Not with your shriveled up junk.
Buy her a dildo.

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Duck-billed platypus.
Is there any other kind?
Poison spurs scratch you.

Aunt Bea baking cakes.
Shogun, Desert, corrupt cop.
Turn signal for goats.