Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Children taste yummy.
Albert Fish is my hero.
Dahmer was a punk.
Haiku # 51014, June 30, 2014 3:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I don't love my wife.
I have better sex with whores.
Marriage is a farce.
Haiku # 51013, June 29, 2014 7:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Awkward Silence sucks
Learn how to count dracula
Lush and V H S
Haiku # 51012, June 29, 2014 2:57 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
Escargots basket
Flip Wilson mumbled, god stumbled
I want tartar sauce
Haiku # 51011, June 29, 2014 2:22 am ET
by Awkward Silence
basketed ergot
slipped as I stumbled, tumbled
If I hadn't tripped?
Haiku # 51008, June 27, 2014 5:04 am ET
by Lush
Lush, thou art verily
a macracanthorhynchus
hirudinaceus
Haiku # 51007, June 26, 2014 9:27 pm ET
by :-)
You can pick your nose
You can also pick your friends
But you can't wipe your friends on the back of the couch.
Haiku # 51006, June 26, 2014 9:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You can pick your nose
You can also pick your friends
Can't pick your friend's nose
Haiku # 51005, June 26, 2014 11:15 am ET
by Awkward Silence
devoid of hubris
never found a thing to fake
balderdashing
Haiku # 51003, June 25, 2014 10:12 pm ET
by Lush
Hot Thai girl on bus.
I think "Please don't get boner."
But of course she does.
Haiku # 51000, June 21, 2014 1:14 pm ET
by DF
Are you now flacid?
Perhaps flatulent as well?
Beano Viagra!
Haiku # 50999, June 20, 2014 8:11 am ET
by DF
Extreme eloquence.
Electronic thesaurus.
Penile stimuli.
Haiku # 50998, June 20, 2014 8:08 am ET
by DF
emboldened zealots
a chorus of mud people
clamoring for naught
Haiku # 50997, June 20, 2014 4:33 am ET
by Lush
Alternative fuel
pachyderm flatulence gas
flying like dumbo
Haiku # 50996, June 19, 2014 12:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cut my fingernails,
now I am ready to write.
Must learn to edit.
Haiku # 50995, June 19, 2014 12:18 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
i don't understand
why she just cant get the fact
that she's a cunt.
Haiku # 50993, June 17, 2014 11:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
death is impending
we hasten the doom of earth
with every sperm

the way to save earth
is by using germ warfare
lets start with china

india is next
cheap products and call centers
clean up this planet
Haiku # 50986, June 15, 2014 10:20 am ET
by airborn ebola will save us of My Private Space Station
don't think about it
as it exists regardless
your input is null
Haiku # 50985, June 15, 2014 7:17 am ET
by ash
You cannot stop it.
The alien invasion.
They want our coffee.
Haiku # 50984, June 14, 2014 10:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Philosophically
Cats may, or may not exist
Until they meeeow
Haiku # 50983, June 14, 2014 10:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Like Hannibal Lecter,
I just might have to stab it.
But should I eat it?

Solipsist I am.
I mean, who else could exist?
Well, besides my cat.
Haiku # 50982, June 14, 2014 7:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
horrid portraiture
a sniveling solipsist
awash in disdain
Haiku # 50981, June 14, 2014 1:04 am ET
by Lush
Change a bad habit
Stop humping like a rabbit
Think "steak," and stab it.
Haiku # 50980, June 13, 2014 11:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I made a huge fart.
It rocked the house like thunder.
The spouse was not pleased.
Haiku # 50979, June 12, 2014 4:40 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Flatulence so bad it could cause divorce!
You deserve nothing
Greedy gluttonous goober
Sell your soul for cash
Haiku # 50978, June 12, 2014 2:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sad face is sad face,
I follow this steps,
Or I don't.
Haiku # 50976, June 10, 2014 9:09 am ET
by haniabag
Your sick sunken eyes
Afraid to look at others
Lest you see through them
Haiku # 50974, June 10, 2014 12:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The wind blows poison.
The volcano belches black.
The world is now dead.

































































"Pass the damn Twinkies."
Said a cockroach to his friend.
Yum, gobble, burp, fart.
Haiku # 50973, June 9, 2014 11:53 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Three penises on the bed
Two penises on the bed
One penis on the bed
Man eater smiled...
Haiku # 50972, June 9, 2014 11:21 am ET
by Marin Muskardin of Zagreb, Croatia
I think you have remarked some very interesting points , appreciate it for the post. ebebgeadkcea
Haiku # 50971, June 9, 2014 8:02 am ET
by uwuuouiw of USA
Three Haiku


Storm

Rain and rain and rain
and rain and rain and rain and
rain and rain and rain . . .


Haiku

No haiku about
trees, snowflakes, apple blossoms
Haiku # 50969, June 8, 2014 12:50 pm ET
by Bruce McRae of Salt Spring island BC
Obama, you fraud!
Glad I did not vote for you
I'm smarter than that
Haiku # 50968, June 8, 2014 5:10 am ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
Playing R.E.M.
"Beans, they constipate my wife"
Lyrics on "Get Up"
Haiku # 50967, June 8, 2014 5:04 am ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
around 160 British pounds each for the meal Sugiyama, 22, who is asexual, voluntarily underwent surgery to have his penis removed

effing copy paste!
Haiku # 50963, June 6, 2014 7:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
around
Haiku # 50962, June 6, 2014 7:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Quality of dick
is better than quantity.
A sackful, harumph!!

Mao Sugiyama cooked his own genitalia and garnished them with mushrooms and parsley
Five guests paid around
Haiku # 50961, June 6, 2014 7:44 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker Lecter
who said retarded ?
you did,mister machismo
suck a bag of dicks
Haiku # 50958, June 5, 2014 12:56 am ET
by ash
i have been tardy
lately i've done it again
guess that's retardy
Haiku # 50956, June 4, 2014 10:52 am ET
by ash
Go to college son
Get a master's degree sir
So you get good work

Graduated well
Now plumbing and wiring stuff
Life is weird. Aww Foock.
Haiku # 50955, May 28, 2014 12:51 pm ET
by Roberuto_Renga of Clients boilerroom. - not kidding
Again links to sites
Boner pills and other piss
Flaccid be your piece

Spamming ads I hate
Not even haiku are these
My rant, just two cents
Haiku # 50953, May 27, 2014 6:43 pm ET
by Roberuto_Renga
No, not too creepy.
But your mom pooping for you...
That would be nasty.

I would expect that,
however, from men who write
haiku on this site.
Haiku # 50951, May 25, 2014 3:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku gives me joy
like pooping for my mommy
Is that too creepy?
Haiku # 50950, May 25, 2014 3:08 am ET
by Drunk
Pooping gives me joy.
Like have a yard sale.
You get rid of shit.
Haiku # 50949, May 24, 2014 10:50 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
You did what I said.
You followed my instructions.
Congratulations.
Haiku # 50948, May 24, 2014 12:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
will this even work
a grand experiment
html tags
Haiku # 50947, May 23, 2014 6:37 pm ET
by akdsd
Death to all numbers.
Obliterate them to nil.
Smash them to zero.











































Interdimensional aliens have explained in great detail to me that we must learn to do math without numbers, without counting, else we are doomed to annihilation by God and once we learn this glorious holy communication with nature and the cosmos then we will assure our immortality and place by his side. The turtles had learned it, but have since forgotten. This was in the days before the last great extinction. Dinosaurs could count. Are we no better than they?
The tortoise and the hare. We must eat hasenpfeffer. Slow down.
You understand, don't you?
Haiku # 50946, May 23, 2014 1:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Counting is not good.
In fact it is downright bad.
You should never count.
Haiku # 50945, May 23, 2014 10:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Repeat repeating
is the weakest Of the weak
So there there there there
Haiku # 50944, May 23, 2014 1:44 am ET
by Oingo Dingo
repeating is weak.
i don't believe that at all.
repeating is weak.
Haiku # 50943, May 22, 2014 11:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That was lazier
Than your old man in the sack
Repeating is weak
Haiku # 50942, May 22, 2014 10:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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