Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

it sits in her tray
crusted in kitty litter
a feline praline
Haiku # 51092, July 31, 2014 10:48 am ET
by ash
Age settles softly.
A January snowfall.
There is no more life.
Haiku # 51090, July 30, 2014 9:07 pm ET
by df
Did you know that the
Fibonacci remainders
are cyclic series?

What will be my lunch?
Fibonacci Alfredo
With Euler jizz sauce.
Haiku # 51089, July 29, 2014 9:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
To Haiku Poets:

I hate all of you.
You think you're such good artists.
All you do is count.
Haiku # 51088, July 29, 2014 9:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Smoke grass, no nickel.
Direct current, m'lady.
My, but my butt... stinks.

Corpulent creature
awaiting in chains in pain
molten lead bath.
Haiku # 51087, July 29, 2014 9:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
alas, no quarter
a recurrent malady
my butt... it itches
Haiku # 51086, July 29, 2014 1:40 am ET
by Lush
crapulent feature
awaiting some change in vain
frigid bath water
Haiku # 51085, July 29, 2014 1:37 am ET
by Lush
Spoogarificus.
Internet Anonymous.
Massdisturbation.

Pachyderm nostril.
Humping snuffalupagus.
Up his snuffle, Gus.
Haiku # 51084, July 28, 2014 8:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wear transparent clothes.
Let them all see what you've got.
You can be famous.

You're a tabloid star.
Paparazzi pizza pie.
I'll beat off to it.
Haiku # 51082, July 28, 2014 12:31 am ET
by Selena Gomez Sex Tape Scandal of Hawaian Nude Beach
Go eat a treat Pete.
Manipulating word job
She thanked me with smiles
Haiku # 51081, July 27, 2014 4:16 am ET
by Hungarian Maffia of Barbados
Watering the lawn
Trying to fill up the time
Between now and death
Haiku # 51080, July 26, 2014 11:19 pm ET
by Awkward Silence of The Starship Enterprise
Don't fart too loudly.
Unless in Starbucks' bathroom.
Let them all hear you.

The Sunday crowd laughs.
Childish giggles suppressed.
You can take a bow.
Haiku # 51079, July 26, 2014 10:00 pm ET
by I hate my phone.
There is nothing here.
Look no further for meaning.
It's not to be found.
Haiku # 51078, July 26, 2014 9:54 pm ET
by http://books.google.com/books?id=AJPHAgAAQBAJ&lpg=PP1&pg=PP1#v=onepage&q&f=false of Mountiain stronghold of villains.
I am drunk again.
Old Crow and Dr. Pepper.
I must now go puke.
Haiku # 51077, July 25, 2014 4:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Gun powder Ding Dong.
Abused pink skin whore kissed Rah.
Hope her man blood craps.
Haiku # 51076, July 24, 2014 8:59 am ET
by http://books.google.com/books/about/evi1_a_novel_about_you.html?id=AJPHAgAAQBAJ of Alien mother ship drinking coffee
Goat powered ping pong
Confused penguin orchestra
Doberman mud flaps
Haiku # 51075, July 24, 2014 3:27 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
haiku hiatus
been a long time between posts
janis is the shiz
Haiku # 51074, July 24, 2014 2:31 am ET
by ash
That sounds fair to me
Your cat has been declawed right?
Otherwise, no thanks.
Haiku # 51069, July 20, 2014 2:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I guess that was me.
Apologies, my good man.
I was really drunk.

But to make things right,
you can poop in my yard too.
And wipe with my cat.
Haiku # 51068, July 20, 2014 12:58 pm ET
by Darth Douche Bag.
Who pooped in my yard?
Seriously, who does that?
Get a life douche bag!
Haiku # 51067, July 20, 2014 1:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
And now they are back.
Boner spam before coffee.
That just isn't right.

Find them with "who is".
Email them scans of your ass.
It's all we can do.

Seriously though. I used to bait those "Nigerian prince" scammers and when I had them believing I would wire them money or give them bank info, I would scan my ass (all spread apart and showing the nasty bits and my balls too), attach it in a word doc, and email it to them. Fun times those were.
Haiku # 51065, July 18, 2014 9:22 am ET
by DF
There should be none now
Goddammed fucking boner pills
Defacing my site.
Haiku # 51063, July 17, 2014 2:17 pm ET
by Janis
When I'm president.
All spammers will be shot dead.
Without a trial.
Haiku # 51062, July 17, 2014 2:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Boy do I wonder
How many Viagra ads
There are on here

There is no need for
Your stupid pills and boner
Juice, please leave us now
Haiku # 51060, July 17, 2014 2:30 am ET
by Kave Wixon
My ass has talent.
I can fart with perfect pitch.
And not leave one stain.
Haiku # 51053, July 16, 2014 12:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
We're the all singing,
all dancing crap of the world.
Hankey Christmas Poo.
Haiku # 51052, July 15, 2014 11:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The first rule of the
Haiku club is you don't talk
About haiku club
Haiku # 51051, July 15, 2014 12:38 am ET
by Tyler
I met with the guy
He gave me blue crystal meth
Are you Walter White?
Haiku # 51050, July 15, 2014 12:31 am ET
by Jossoy Ponkmon
Germany wins cup
Now athletic supporters
Have drinking excuse
Haiku # 51049, July 13, 2014 5:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Every bomb used
will create more enemies
than it can destroy.
Haiku # 51048, July 13, 2014 10:22 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Did I see Alice?
She is down the rabbit hole.
But which pill to take?

Boner pills are great.
I need one that keeps me hard.
Post ejaculate.

If you saw Alice,
you would ejaculate too.
She is just that hot.
Haiku # 51047, July 13, 2014 9:27 am ET
by Will Obama Care pay for my boner pills?
ambient vacuum
where silence assumes the helm
throb throb throb throb mmmm
Haiku # 51046, July 13, 2014 1:50 am ET
by Lush
My garbage ocean
Insatiable desire
Represses all dreams
Haiku # 51045, July 12, 2014 2:02 am ET
by Tractor pull of Sunday at the Rodeo grounds
Did you Cialis?
This is Viagra culture.
I can Levitrate!
Haiku # 51044, July 11, 2014 2:47 pm ET
by Smoke Horny Goat Weed.
The capture scares me,
but I press on, in struggle
to express something
Haiku # 51042, July 10, 2014 3:28 am ET
by Awkward Silence
we don't favour guns
our passive regressive team
censor their actions
Haiku # 51041, July 9, 2014 6:52 am ET
by ash
No, Ash, you are wrong.
All the governments are cunts.
Control freaks with guns.
Haiku # 51040, July 8, 2014 10:34 pm ET
by DF
PMs of Aus / Can
Glaring fuckheads are they both
Cut from the same cloth
Haiku # 51039, July 8, 2014 11:49 am ET
by Janis
You think your job is
Bad. Not as bad as all the
V1494r4 spambots
Haiku # 51038, July 8, 2014 11:46 am ET
by Janis of TDot
i am quite ashamed
that my country's government
are a bunch of cunts
Haiku # 51037, July 8, 2014 5:28 am ET
by ash of australia
Read my bird like words.
Flittering around, pooping
On your minds' windshield
Haiku # 51036, July 8, 2014 12:07 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Here's a correction:
Say "I need to learn me some".
You'll sound more smarter.
Haiku # 51031, July 4, 2014 9:50 am ET
by Darth Figpucker, Inc. of Not where I want to be.
Propane combustion.
Carbon dioxide cookoff.
Imminent demise.

Self-oxidizer.
Detonation enjoyment.
Have a happy Fourth.
Haiku # 51030, July 4, 2014 9:43 am ET
by Darth Figpucker, Inc. of Russian Brothel
I am not too smart.
Do big words make good poems?
I need to learn some.
Haiku # 51027, July 3, 2014 4:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You are child of wind
Replicate at your own cost
Dues paid anyway
Haiku # 51026, July 3, 2014 6:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I like squirrels lots
My mind was consumed by 'bots
Tell me who I am
Haiku # 51024, July 3, 2014 3:06 am ET
by Poof
Right now it looks like WordPress is the top blogging platform available right now. from what I've read Is that what you're using on your blog? ekbfdkkckake
Haiku # 51023, July 3, 2014 2:06 am ET
by wryueoew of USA
worthy misprision
surreptitious rendition
fairness in warfare
Haiku # 51022, July 2, 2014 11:16 pm ET
by Lush
Happy humping frogs.
Their deafening chorus shrieks.
Mire of tadpole soup.
Haiku # 51021, July 2, 2014 3:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You must become art.
Then you will be an artist.
Otherwise you won't.
Haiku # 51020, July 2, 2014 3:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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