Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Magnify centaur
Grade A flank steaks and nice thighs
Superfluous head
Haiku # 51131, August 16, 2014 5:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Magnificent fart.
Grande flatulence surprise.
Sulfurous fumes waft.
Haiku # 51128, August 14, 2014 6:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
no point in mourning
revolution, next morning
until axis fails
Haiku # 51126, August 14, 2014 3:08 am ET
by Lush
Douches are awesome!
They keep the vaginas clean.
But poets do not.

We've been here before.
De ja motherfuckin' vu.
Or something like that.

Do you like clean twat?
Then please thank your local douche.
Your wife could use one.
Haiku # 51125, August 13, 2014 11:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Books scattered on desk
Candle gives way to sunlight
Enlightenment looms
Haiku # 51124, August 12, 2014 11:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Artists can be such
Douches to other artists
Life is too short so

Make room for flaws
Haiku # 51123, August 12, 2014 12:04 pm ET
by bs
Can't say I blame you.
Life on this rock can be tough.
So....nanoo nanoo
Haiku # 51121, August 11, 2014 10:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hello!

Just kidding. I'm human
Haiku # 51120, August 11, 2014 7:59 pm ET
by adhurqard
cherry tree blossom
so many flowers at once-
the sky turns color.
Haiku # 51118, August 10, 2014 5:36 pm ET
by mundane
beauty of grayness
the dust remains undisturbed-
a cobblers last shoe.
Haiku # 51117, August 8, 2014 8:01 pm ET
by mundane
If the lion barks,
You should adjust your doses
Until it meows
Haiku # 51116, August 8, 2014 9:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
secrets of the dark
in amongst the trees and ferns-
much much room for more.
Haiku # 51113, August 7, 2014 9:03 pm ET
by mundane
Mother fish monger
Who is sexiest muppet?
Geddy Lee plays bass
Haiku # 51112, August 7, 2014 12:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
sorry, my mistake
i thought our leader were my balls shite
but they're even worse than a tuna whore
Haiku # 51111, August 6, 2014 9:29 pm ET
by ash
excuse my mistake butwax
a minor fuckin' error
but the right massage parlour
Haiku # 51110, August 6, 2014 9:29 pm ET
by ash-holio
Can't you say goodbye?
If you did, I would not cry.
Crappy pill spammer
Haiku # 51109, August 6, 2014 8:45 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
excuse my mistake
a minor syntax error
but the right message
Haiku # 51106, August 5, 2014 8:22 am ET
by ash
sorry, my mistake
i thought our leader were shite
but they're even worse
Haiku # 51105, August 5, 2014 8:20 am ET
by ash
Aspen
Haiku # 51104, August 4, 2014 12:23 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sea snake symphony
Dying sounds of doomed planet
Smoke 'em while you can
Haiku # 51103, August 3, 2014 1:18 am ET
by mandingo Ebola
Last exhortation
Twaddle the repercussions
Dexedrine ahead.
Haiku # 51102, August 3, 2014 1:05 am ET
by Lush
Other stuff to do.
Settle upon settlement
Blast unto the sea.
Haiku # 51101, August 3, 2014 1:01 am ET
by Lush
Ready? Arms! Cease-fire?
Fuck that. Already sighted.
Let's finish this shit.
Haiku # 51100, August 3, 2014 1:00 am ET
by Lush
oh so much hamas
thickly spread over the news
yet no tabooli
Haiku # 51099, August 2, 2014 10:06 am ET
by ash of history repeats
The clothes make the man.
Unless you live in China.
The man makes the clothes.
Haiku # 51098, August 1, 2014 8:49 pm ET
by Awkward Silence
don't fear the reaper
tidying the rough edges
as he mows your lawn
Haiku # 51097, August 1, 2014 6:39 am ET
by ash
Ready the monkeys!
My dingleberries are ripe.
Ready for harvest.
Haiku # 51096, August 1, 2014 1:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The noble gasses
Come from out of my asses.
Ideal they're not.

Nuclear decay.
Transmutated flatulence.
I'll eat beans tonight.
Haiku # 51095, July 31, 2014 5:33 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
nobility's child
but avogadro's offspring
is a complete mol
Haiku # 51093, July 31, 2014 10:59 am ET
by ash
it sits in her tray
crusted in kitty litter
a feline praline
Haiku # 51092, July 31, 2014 10:48 am ET
by ash
Age settles softly.
A January snowfall.
There is no more life.
Haiku # 51090, July 30, 2014 9:07 pm ET
by df
Did you know that the
Fibonacci remainders
are cyclic series?

What will be my lunch?
Fibonacci Alfredo
With Euler jizz sauce.
Haiku # 51089, July 29, 2014 9:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
To Haiku Poets:

I hate all of you.
You think you're such good artists.
All you do is count.
Haiku # 51088, July 29, 2014 9:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Smoke grass, no nickel.
Direct current, m'lady.
My, but my butt... stinks.

Corpulent creature
awaiting in chains in pain
molten lead bath.
Haiku # 51087, July 29, 2014 9:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
alas, no quarter
a recurrent malady
my butt... it itches
Haiku # 51086, July 29, 2014 1:40 am ET
by Lush
crapulent feature
awaiting some change in vain
frigid bath water
Haiku # 51085, July 29, 2014 1:37 am ET
by Lush
Spoogarificus.
Internet Anonymous.
Massdisturbation.

Pachyderm nostril.
Humping snuffalupagus.
Up his snuffle, Gus.
Haiku # 51084, July 28, 2014 8:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wear transparent clothes.
Let them all see what you've got.
You can be famous.

You're a tabloid star.
Paparazzi pizza pie.
I'll beat off to it.
Haiku # 51082, July 28, 2014 12:31 am ET
by Selena Gomez Sex Tape Scandal of Hawaian Nude Beach
Go eat a treat Pete.
Manipulating word job
She thanked me with smiles
Haiku # 51081, July 27, 2014 4:16 am ET
by Hungarian Maffia of Barbados
Watering the lawn
Trying to fill up the time
Between now and death
Haiku # 51080, July 26, 2014 11:19 pm ET
by Awkward Silence of The Starship Enterprise
Don't fart too loudly.
Unless in Starbucks' bathroom.
Let them all hear you.

The Sunday crowd laughs.
Childish giggles suppressed.
You can take a bow.
Haiku # 51079, July 26, 2014 10:00 pm ET
by I hate my phone.
There is nothing here.
Look no further for meaning.
It's not to be found.
Haiku # 51078, July 26, 2014 9:54 pm ET
by http://books.google.com/books?id=AJPHAgAAQBAJ&lpg=PP1&pg=PP1#v=onepage&q&f=false of Mountiain stronghold of villains.
I am drunk again.
Old Crow and Dr. Pepper.
I must now go puke.
Haiku # 51077, July 25, 2014 4:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Gun powder Ding Dong.
Abused pink skin whore kissed Rah.
Hope her man blood craps.
Haiku # 51076, July 24, 2014 8:59 am ET
by http://books.google.com/books/about/evi1_a_novel_about_you.html?id=AJPHAgAAQBAJ of Alien mother ship drinking coffee
Goat powered ping pong
Confused penguin orchestra
Doberman mud flaps
Haiku # 51075, July 24, 2014 3:27 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
haiku hiatus
been a long time between posts
janis is the shiz
Haiku # 51074, July 24, 2014 2:31 am ET
by ash
That sounds fair to me
Your cat has been declawed right?
Otherwise, no thanks.
Haiku # 51069, July 20, 2014 2:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I guess that was me.
Apologies, my good man.
I was really drunk.

But to make things right,
you can poop in my yard too.
And wipe with my cat.
Haiku # 51068, July 20, 2014 12:58 pm ET
by Darth Douche Bag.
Who pooped in my yard?
Seriously, who does that?
Get a life douche bag!
Haiku # 51067, July 20, 2014 1:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
And now they are back.
Boner spam before coffee.
That just isn't right.

Find them with "who is".
Email them scans of your ass.
It's all we can do.

Seriously though. I used to bait those "Nigerian prince" scammers and when I had them believing I would wire them money or give them bank info, I would scan my ass (all spread apart and showing the nasty bits and my balls too), attach it in a word doc, and email it to them. Fun times those were.
Haiku # 51065, July 18, 2014 9:22 am ET
by DF
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