Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

I shave my balls too.
I sold my folks to Kenny.
And I ate my pubes.
Haiku # 51247, September 10, 2014 5:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of waiting for next season
My balls are shaven.
I sold my pubes to Cartman.
I ate my parents.
Haiku # 51246, September 10, 2014 5:51 pm ET
by Scott Tennerman
Relevant events
Concerning pink elephants
What hope represents
Haiku # 51244, September 10, 2014 12:55 am ET
by Croctadactyle
it is time to sleep
i must depart for the night
don't feel sad feel glad
Haiku # 51243, September 9, 2014 11:54 pm ET
by sean
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
ha ha he he ho
Haiku # 51242, September 9, 2014 11:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
it is time to sleep
i must depart for the
don't feel sad feel glad
Haiku # 51241, September 9, 2014 11:47 pm ET
by sean
i know i love you
never shall i ever stop
william shatner
Haiku # 51240, September 9, 2014 11:45 pm ET
by sean
everyone's writing
haiku's and i'm just sitting
here masturbating
Haiku # 51239, September 9, 2014 11:30 pm ET
by sean
how much can i fit
into a haiku format
oh no im out of
Haiku # 51238, September 9, 2014 11:27 pm ET
by sean
my corn hole is loose
with no thanks to your small dick
i should really stop
Haiku # 51237, September 9, 2014 11:21 pm ET
by sean
Why not LSD?
lets eat some shrooms you ass wipe
not gay boner pills
Haiku # 51236, September 9, 2014 11:18 pm ET
by sean
Lubrication is
A means of making things work
His is grease Mine? Blood
Haiku # 51235, September 9, 2014 11:10 pm ET
by sean
shut your fucking face
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
i'm getting lazy
Haiku # 51233, September 9, 2014 10:53 pm ET
by sean
Ass full of pork fat
jiggles like a jello mold
mouth is flapping to
Haiku # 51232, September 9, 2014 10:45 pm ET
by sean
you are nasty whore
eat shit and die nasty skank
Emily whore breath
Haiku # 51231, September 9, 2014 10:40 pm ET
by sean
I need to go poop.
But I'm writing these haiku.
Too late, shat myself.
Haiku # 51230, September 9, 2014 10:33 pm ET
by sean
My penis is GOD!
Yes, it is wholly holy.
And it has a hole.

Out of which comes cum.
It is not some, but a bunch.
And it is your lunch.
Haiku # 51229, September 9, 2014 2:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Humans are evil.
Share an ebola cola.
In New York City.
Haiku # 51221, September 8, 2014 5:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Nothing more to say.
Nothing more to do with you.
Time for you to leave.
Haiku # 51220, September 8, 2014 1:16 am ET
by Blake
Hell show in slow mo
Fighting and alarms return
Just want to get home
Haiku # 51219, September 7, 2014 5:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It is all over
So drunk I can't make poems
Instead I use air
Haiku # 51218, September 7, 2014 4:38 am ET
by Mandingo
Corn running too late
Fall will freeze it on the stalk
Global Warming please
Haiku # 51217, September 7, 2014 3:28 am ET
by Mandingo
Obsequious sniff
Play bow, then scratchy rolling
Woof! I run away
Haiku # 51216, September 7, 2014 3:21 am ET
by Mandingo
Honking in anger
Angry geese attack the crows
A goose gang turf war
Haiku # 51210, September 6, 2014 1:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Turpentine sunshine
Bird words drop from me like turds
Splattering unheard
Haiku # 51206, September 5, 2014 12:10 am ET
by Dog scooting across your new carpet on it's behind
Now is sleepy time
Ready to relax and rest
Don't need to count sheep
Haiku # 51203, September 4, 2014 12:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Phychiatric crap
What
Haiku # 51202, September 3, 2014 4:27 pm ET
by You are sick
High school humping date.
Teasing in a coffeehouse.
Back room giggle grope.

I am the witness,
try to mind my own business,
keeping my back turned.

They leave when I fart.
Now I can get back to work.
Black beans are awesome.
Haiku # 51194, September 2, 2014 6:02 pm ET
by Bad Poetry
Titilatified.
Mammary spammary bounce.
Bonerifically.
Haiku # 51193, September 2, 2014 1:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hello there Janis.
Here's a haiku to remove.
See it down below:

Haiku #51137 (boner pill spam)

And remove this one.
That's if you want to, I guess.
Or keep it -- Who cares?
Haiku # 51192, September 2, 2014 1:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The SPAM is removed!
Praise to our Lord and Savior!
Yes, I mean Janis.
Haiku # 51191, September 2, 2014 1:02 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Liberian Ebola Camp Sewage Technician
Oh, quiet thee down
Pagan sniffer of goat nut
Prepare for tough times
Haiku # 51189, September 2, 2014 12:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Gun shots and fireworks
Agony and extacy
Laurel and Hardy
Haiku # 51188, September 1, 2014 10:27 pm ET
by Tree buggerer
Green round snot bubbles.
Blown from your sick nephew's nose.
It pops in your eye.
Haiku # 51182, August 31, 2014 4:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The new messiah.
Ebola will save us all.
And cleanse Mother Earth.
Haiku # 51181, August 31, 2014 4:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pickled newborn pups.
Tasty little chihuahuas.
Poodles are good too.
Haiku # 51180, August 31, 2014 4:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Grateful Dead acid.
I remember it fondly.
Jerry's face blotter.

Your dog seems happy.
Now your turn, conservative
old grumpy fart man.
Haiku # 51179, August 30, 2014 8:32 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I need to go poop.
But I'm writing these haiku.
Too late, shat myself.
Haiku # 51178, August 30, 2014 8:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
What a dick I am!
I just cannot stop myself.
I'll go beat off now.
Haiku # 51177, August 30, 2014 8:19 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I will take over.
No other poems remain.
Except for my own.
Haiku # 51176, August 30, 2014 8:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Never recycle.
It wastes too much energy.
There's no benefit.
Haiku # 51175, August 30, 2014 8:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
My love has dried up.
Along with my tiny balls.
I won't take those pills!
Haiku # 51174, August 30, 2014 8:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Most awful flavors
can only be concocted
by mother-in-law.
Haiku # 51173, August 30, 2014 8:09 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Oh, mushy dog poo,
let me squish you in my shoes,
treading new carpets.
Haiku # 51172, August 30, 2014 8:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hey, pay attention
Heavy partition mud eat
Please dance to the beat
Haiku # 51171, August 30, 2014 5:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
This Haiku website
Walls of a New York subway
Almost the same thing

Except for one thing...
Most of what goes up here stays
Subway's washed away
Haiku # 51165, August 29, 2014 11:10 pm ET
by Floss Regularly
Damn, you dosed my dog!
He just sits there listening
To the Grateful Dead
Haiku # 51162, August 28, 2014 8:30 pm ET
by Concerned Citizen
Your dog is tripping.
I put acid in his bowl.
Watch out for my poop.
Haiku # 51159, August 27, 2014 11:52 pm ET
by LSD Will Set You Free!
You fitlthy hippy
Quit going poop in my yard
Hope my dog bites you
Haiku # 51158, August 27, 2014 11:01 pm ET
by Concerned Citizen
Can't they sell good drugs?
Like acid and ecstasy.
I'd buy those online!
Haiku # 51156, August 27, 2014 2:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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