Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 137 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Okay! Time for work.
I will drink lots of coffee.
Paid by your taxes.

"Coffee! Far sweeter than a thousand kisses." Or so says J. S. Bach in his opera Cafe Cantata.
Haiku # 51276, September 15, 2014 1:07 pm ET
by Thanks for the coffee!
VHS's folks
had a child before him:
VHS beta.
Haiku # 51275, September 15, 2014 12:55 pm ET
by I'm so punny!
The Green Solution:
Recycle the elderly.
In line VHS!
Haiku # 51274, September 15, 2014 12:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
There is no breakdown.
If it don't work, it can't break.
Life! It's just stupid.
Haiku # 51273, September 15, 2014 12:49 pm ET
by Your Robot Overlord of Los Alamos National Laboratory
We see the breakdown
Of a life here but it is
Tragic to witness
Haiku # 51272, September 15, 2014 11:50 am ET
by vhs
Fuck, now I can't count.
See what you did, Mandingo!
This is all your fault!
Haiku # 51271, September 14, 2014 12:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Get free date rape drugs.
With two orders of Cialis
get a free roofie!
Haiku # 51270, September 14, 2014 12:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You know what I like?
Raping pit bulls with parvo.
Better than ice cream.
Haiku # 51269, September 14, 2014 12:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Mandingo can't count.
Look at the second sentence.
There's eight syllables.
Haiku # 51268, September 14, 2014 12:36 pm ET
by Haiku Nazi Fart Breath
Payday pawn shop heist
Didn't get away with much loot,
but I learned to love
Haiku # 51266, September 14, 2014 3:12 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
Asking for trouble
While begging for forgiveness
Twisted up real good
Haiku # 51265, September 13, 2014 7:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Well, you say "hello".
But I say "goodbye", goodbye,
Goodbye and so on.

In hell the pill spammers will be afflicted with permanent erections and forced to have sex with Hillary Clinton, Barbara Bush, Opera Winfrey, and Osama Bin Laden non-stop.
Haiku # 51263, September 13, 2014 6:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I shave my balls too.
I sold my folks to Kenny.
And I ate my pubes.
Haiku # 51247, September 10, 2014 5:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of waiting for next season
My balls are shaven.
I sold my pubes to Cartman.
I ate my parents.
Haiku # 51246, September 10, 2014 5:51 pm ET
by Scott Tennerman
Relevant events
Concerning pink elephants
What hope represents
Haiku # 51244, September 10, 2014 12:55 am ET
by Croctadactyle
it is time to sleep
i must depart for the night
don't feel sad feel glad
Haiku # 51243, September 9, 2014 11:54 pm ET
by sean
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
ha ha he he ho
Haiku # 51242, September 9, 2014 11:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
it is time to sleep
i must depart for the
don't feel sad feel glad
Haiku # 51241, September 9, 2014 11:47 pm ET
by sean
i know i love you
never shall i ever stop
william shatner
Haiku # 51240, September 9, 2014 11:45 pm ET
by sean
everyone's writing
haiku's and i'm just sitting
here masturbating
Haiku # 51239, September 9, 2014 11:30 pm ET
by sean
how much can i fit
into a haiku format
oh no im out of
Haiku # 51238, September 9, 2014 11:27 pm ET
by sean
my corn hole is loose
with no thanks to your small dick
i should really stop
Haiku # 51237, September 9, 2014 11:21 pm ET
by sean
Why not LSD?
lets eat some shrooms you ass wipe
not gay boner pills
Haiku # 51236, September 9, 2014 11:18 pm ET
by sean
Lubrication is
A means of making things work
His is grease Mine? Blood
Haiku # 51235, September 9, 2014 11:10 pm ET
by sean
shut your fucking face
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
i'm getting lazy
Haiku # 51233, September 9, 2014 10:53 pm ET
by sean
Ass full of pork fat
jiggles like a jello mold
mouth is flapping to
Haiku # 51232, September 9, 2014 10:45 pm ET
by sean
you are nasty whore
eat shit and die nasty skank
Emily whore breath
Haiku # 51231, September 9, 2014 10:40 pm ET
by sean
I need to go poop.
But I'm writing these haiku.
Too late, shat myself.
Haiku # 51230, September 9, 2014 10:33 pm ET
by sean
My penis is GOD!
Yes, it is wholly holy.
And it has a hole.

Out of which comes cum.
It is not some, but a bunch.
And it is your lunch.
Haiku # 51229, September 9, 2014 2:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Humans are evil.
Share an ebola cola.
In New York City.
Haiku # 51221, September 8, 2014 5:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Nothing more to say.
Nothing more to do with you.
Time for you to leave.
Haiku # 51220, September 8, 2014 1:16 am ET
by Blake
Hell show in slow mo
Fighting and alarms return
Just want to get home
Haiku # 51219, September 7, 2014 5:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It is all over
So drunk I can't make poems
Instead I use air
Haiku # 51218, September 7, 2014 4:38 am ET
by Mandingo
Corn running too late
Fall will freeze it on the stalk
Global Warming please
Haiku # 51217, September 7, 2014 3:28 am ET
by Mandingo
Obsequious sniff
Play bow, then scratchy rolling
Woof! I run away
Haiku # 51216, September 7, 2014 3:21 am ET
by Mandingo
Honking in anger
Angry geese attack the crows
A goose gang turf war
Haiku # 51210, September 6, 2014 1:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Turpentine sunshine
Bird words drop from me like turds
Splattering unheard
Haiku # 51206, September 5, 2014 12:10 am ET
by Dog scooting across your new carpet on it's behind
Now is sleepy time
Ready to relax and rest
Don't need to count sheep
Haiku # 51203, September 4, 2014 12:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Phychiatric crap
What
Haiku # 51202, September 3, 2014 4:27 pm ET
by You are sick
High school humping date.
Teasing in a coffeehouse.
Back room giggle grope.

I am the witness,
try to mind my own business,
keeping my back turned.

They leave when I fart.
Now I can get back to work.
Black beans are awesome.
Haiku # 51194, September 2, 2014 6:02 pm ET
by Bad Poetry
Titilatified.
Mammary spammary bounce.
Bonerifically.
Haiku # 51193, September 2, 2014 1:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hello there Janis.
Here's a haiku to remove.
See it down below:

Haiku #51137 (boner pill spam)

And remove this one.
That's if you want to, I guess.
Or keep it -- Who cares?
Haiku # 51192, September 2, 2014 1:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The SPAM is removed!
Praise to our Lord and Savior!
Yes, I mean Janis.
Haiku # 51191, September 2, 2014 1:02 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Liberian Ebola Camp Sewage Technician
Oh, quiet thee down
Pagan sniffer of goat nut
Prepare for tough times
Haiku # 51189, September 2, 2014 12:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Gun shots and fireworks
Agony and extacy
Laurel and Hardy
Haiku # 51188, September 1, 2014 10:27 pm ET
by Tree buggerer
Green round snot bubbles.
Blown from your sick nephew's nose.
It pops in your eye.
Haiku # 51182, August 31, 2014 4:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The new messiah.
Ebola will save us all.
And cleanse Mother Earth.
Haiku # 51181, August 31, 2014 4:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pickled newborn pups.
Tasty little chihuahuas.
Poodles are good too.
Haiku # 51180, August 31, 2014 4:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Grateful Dead acid.
I remember it fondly.
Jerry's face blotter.

Your dog seems happy.
Now your turn, conservative
old grumpy fart man.
Haiku # 51179, August 30, 2014 8:32 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I need to go poop.
But I'm writing these haiku.
Too late, shat myself.
Haiku # 51178, August 30, 2014 8:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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