Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

she said, If You Leave...
so I Ran (So Far Away)
Sheila Take a Bow
Haiku # 51469, September 29, 2014 3:53 am ET
by Lush
In The Air Tonight
Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)
Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
Haiku # 51468, September 29, 2014 3:21 am ET
by Lush of School Dance
There are no numbers.
God told me so in a dream.
Give me your money.
Haiku # 51467, September 28, 2014 6:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Far poop sniff trance wank
Stafford shire pueblo robs bank
New under the sun
Haiku # 51465, September 28, 2014 5:00 am ET
by Beagle the Destroyer
have Cat Scratch Fever,
so Don't Stand So Close to Me
need Doctor Feel Good
Haiku # 51463, September 28, 2014 12:22 am ET
by Beagle the Destroyer
Fire on the Mountain.
Hey Aqualung! Run away!
Don't stop believing
Haiku # 51462, September 28, 2014 12:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
And the winner is;
The Anonymous Poet
Score was five to four
Haiku # 51447, September 26, 2014 12:14 am ET
by Mandingo Ricola Ebola
A spam-free website?!
Janis is on top of things!
I'm a happy nerd.
Haiku # 51437, September 24, 2014 12:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
What Spider-Man eats?
Maybe lots of flies and moths.
That would really suck
Haiku # 51436, September 23, 2014 9:21 pm ET
by Math sucks
Arrogant teacher,
and an unprepared student
Bad combination
Haiku # 51435, September 22, 2014 11:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That, sir, would be you.
Asking what's a twat-waffle
means that that is you.
Haiku # 51434, September 22, 2014 4:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What's a twat-waffle?
I've heard it, but I don't know.
Someone please tell me.
Haiku # 51433, September 21, 2014 11:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
There is no beauty.
Ugliness does not exist.
Calm your mind and be.
Haiku # 51432, September 21, 2014 11:20 pm ET
by poems are not to be trusted
Mind. Your. Own. Business.
Else. You. Are. Just. A. Douchebag.
Dingleberry-breath.
Haiku # 51431, September 21, 2014 11:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Important suffix
Semicolon, period
Commas are the worst
Haiku # 51430, September 21, 2014 10:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Where are the spammers?
Did the FBI trick work?
Oh, I wish; if only!

Go to the spam websites and in their "contact" link type in an FBI or DEA phone number for them to call back. I did that a few times on those scam loan links and scam pill links. I wonder if they called the FBI and DEA. That would be funny! Damn, I'm an evil fucker. I love being evil. And cannibalism is like soooo 1995.
Haiku # 51429, September 21, 2014 11:12 am ET
by Darth Farty Pants Figpucker.
It's Saturday night
I'm making stupid poems
I party soooo hard!
Haiku # 51428, September 20, 2014 11:01 pm ET
by Mandingo Ricola Ebola
goodbye
Haiku # 51427, September 19, 2014 6:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
goodbye
Haiku # 51426, September 19, 2014 6:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
goodbye
Haiku # 51425, September 19, 2014 6:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
goodbye
Haiku # 51424, September 19, 2014 6:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Okay, here's an idea....
On these spam websites is a contact page.
You can click that and send them rude messages, but what good will that do? Waste of time.

However, I think it would be interesting to send them what might seem a legit message to (1) waste their time and (2) for a return contact phone number put the phone number of your local FBI, ATF, DEA offices and/or even local police.

So, that's what I've been doing. Make these cocksucking mail order med spam companies call the DEA offices. How hilarious is that?
Haiku # 51414, September 19, 2014 9:50 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just like King Elvis.
They will die taking a shit.
And I'll sell tickets.
Haiku # 51412, September 19, 2014 1:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
And before they die
pour scalding coffee down them.
They'll shit out their lives.
Haiku # 51411, September 19, 2014 1:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Not but blind torsos.
Blind and deaf with charcoal stumps.
Then starve them to death.
Haiku # 51410, September 19, 2014 1:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Adrenaline shots
so they can't go into shock.
Gouge out both their eyes!
Haiku # 51409, September 19, 2014 1:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Get the blow torches!
Tie them down; burn off their limbs.
Inject them with meth.
Haiku # 51408, September 19, 2014 1:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Now there is no spam.
I can be a douche bag too.
"Sorry but" "Hello".
Haiku # 51405, September 18, 2014 1:59 pm ET
by FUCK YOU SPAMMERS!!!!! of up your ass
chemistry is hard
hard like this damn chair on
buttermilk pancake
Haiku # 51351, September 18, 2014 12:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'll spell it backwards
noitcnufsyd elitcere
keep spammers away!
Haiku # 51350, September 18, 2014 11:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
frothy water pic
google+ is such a waste
roast beef or turkey
Haiku # 51349, September 18, 2014 11:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
falling rice bags kill
I need to go brush my teeth
yo momma so fat!
Haiku # 51348, September 18, 2014 11:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
induced suicide
teen girls overusing like
struck with a tuna
Haiku # 51347, September 18, 2014 11:50 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
only eight more now
it's universal conquest
or something like that
Haiku # 51346, September 18, 2014 11:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
why are you laughing
does this then make you happy
eat a big booger
Haiku # 51345, September 18, 2014 11:47 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
and in walks Jesus
where can I get some free beer
torture is not nice
Haiku # 51344, September 18, 2014 11:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I can't think of it
Bad Haiku: (necessary)
I do not know why
Haiku # 51343, September 18, 2014 11:45 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
is there comedy
he's wearing a business suit
clowns are like boring
Haiku # 51342, September 18, 2014 11:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
no it didn't work
so here is a new haiku
you are so welcome
Haiku # 51341, September 18, 2014 11:41 am ET
by of
can I submit nil
lets see on the next haiku
well here goes nothing
Haiku # 51340, September 18, 2014 11:40 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm almost done now
the new novel will be bad
Do you like apples?
Haiku # 51339, September 18, 2014 11:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Japanimation
octopi orgasmic show
exploding lizard
Haiku # 51338, September 18, 2014 11:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
all these stupid words
what does she think of when she
I don't think I should
Haiku # 51337, September 18, 2014 11:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fuck fuck fuck! *Star Wars*
We can always start a war
the Dow Jones rises
Haiku # 51336, September 18, 2014 11:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
where is the lobster
I don't think I can do this
Start Wars aliens
Haiku # 51335, September 18, 2014 11:34 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
the sky opens up
listen to the money fly
butter makes you fat
Haiku # 51334, September 18, 2014 11:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have work to do
fish scales are bad for you
I'd eat her pussy!
Haiku # 51333, September 18, 2014 11:31 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I only know this
lack of fiber clogs your butt
street lights shining down
Haiku # 51332, September 18, 2014 11:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Janis can't keep up
she overdosed on Flintstones
aluminum cans
Haiku # 51331, September 18, 2014 11:27 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
well it isn't art
you need to go somewhere else
don't forget the milk
Haiku # 51330, September 18, 2014 11:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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