Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

English Haikus suck.
The language serves them poorly.
Subtlety is lost.
Haiku # 51482, October 2, 2014 4:56 pm ET
by jonafi
uiqnthrd
Haiku # 51480, October 1, 2014 4:08 pm ET
by uxidbygM of rNtxSove
Stick figure boners.
IUPAC nomenclature.
Manufacture meth.
Haiku # 51479, October 1, 2014 3:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The scammers are back.
Scam scam scam scam scam scam scam.
Scam scam scam scam scam.
Haiku # 51478, September 30, 2014 8:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Now it's time for work.
Re-killing the dinosaurs.
I won't need coffee.
Haiku # 51477, September 30, 2014 8:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hello!
Haiku # 51476, September 30, 2014 8:01 am ET
by toyrrour of USA
Money isn't bad.
Cookie monster makes me laugh.
Arabs are stupid.
Haiku # 51475, September 30, 2014 8:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It's incoherent.
A mosquito bit my taint.
Take the kids to school.
Haiku # 51474, September 30, 2014 7:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Algorithmic spooge.
Mechanistic humping toy.
In walks my money.
Haiku # 51473, September 29, 2014 2:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Lets all do some stuff.
We can do things after that.
It just might be fun.
Haiku # 51472, September 29, 2014 2:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Scamming pill websites.
Send your money overseas.
Nigerian scammers.

Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam.
Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam.
Scam Scam Scam Scam Scam.

And now the weather.
In other news, I farted.
It covered Thailand.
Haiku # 51471, September 29, 2014 11:45 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
she said, If You Leave...
so I Ran (So Far Away)
Sheila Take a Bow
Haiku # 51469, September 29, 2014 3:53 am ET
by Lush
In The Air Tonight
Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)
Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
Haiku # 51468, September 29, 2014 3:21 am ET
by Lush of School Dance
There are no numbers.
God told me so in a dream.
Give me your money.
Haiku # 51467, September 28, 2014 6:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Far poop sniff trance wank
Stafford shire pueblo robs bank
New under the sun
Haiku # 51465, September 28, 2014 5:00 am ET
by Beagle the Destroyer
have Cat Scratch Fever,
so Don't Stand So Close to Me
need Doctor Feel Good
Haiku # 51463, September 28, 2014 12:22 am ET
by Beagle the Destroyer
Fire on the Mountain.
Hey Aqualung! Run away!
Don't stop believing
Haiku # 51462, September 28, 2014 12:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
And the winner is;
The Anonymous Poet
Score was five to four
Haiku # 51447, September 26, 2014 12:14 am ET
by Mandingo Ricola Ebola
A spam-free website?!
Janis is on top of things!
I'm a happy nerd.
Haiku # 51437, September 24, 2014 12:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
What Spider-Man eats?
Maybe lots of flies and moths.
That would really suck
Haiku # 51436, September 23, 2014 9:21 pm ET
by Math sucks
Arrogant teacher,
and an unprepared student
Bad combination
Haiku # 51435, September 22, 2014 11:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That, sir, would be you.
Asking what's a twat-waffle
means that that is you.
Haiku # 51434, September 22, 2014 4:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What's a twat-waffle?
I've heard it, but I don't know.
Someone please tell me.
Haiku # 51433, September 21, 2014 11:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
There is no beauty.
Ugliness does not exist.
Calm your mind and be.
Haiku # 51432, September 21, 2014 11:20 pm ET
by poems are not to be trusted
Mind. Your. Own. Business.
Else. You. Are. Just. A. Douchebag.
Dingleberry-breath.
Haiku # 51431, September 21, 2014 11:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Important suffix
Semicolon, period
Commas are the worst
Haiku # 51430, September 21, 2014 10:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Where are the spammers?
Did the FBI trick work?
Oh, I wish; if only!

Go to the spam websites and in their "contact" link type in an FBI or DEA phone number for them to call back. I did that a few times on those scam loan links and scam pill links. I wonder if they called the FBI and DEA. That would be funny! Damn, I'm an evil fucker. I love being evil. And cannibalism is like soooo 1995.
Haiku # 51429, September 21, 2014 11:12 am ET
by Darth Farty Pants Figpucker.
It's Saturday night
I'm making stupid poems
I party soooo hard!
Haiku # 51428, September 20, 2014 11:01 pm ET
by Mandingo Ricola Ebola
goodbye
Haiku # 51427, September 19, 2014 6:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
goodbye
Haiku # 51426, September 19, 2014 6:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
goodbye
Haiku # 51425, September 19, 2014 6:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
goodbye
Haiku # 51424, September 19, 2014 6:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Okay, here's an idea....
On these spam websites is a contact page.
You can click that and send them rude messages, but what good will that do? Waste of time.

However, I think it would be interesting to send them what might seem a legit message to (1) waste their time and (2) for a return contact phone number put the phone number of your local FBI, ATF, DEA offices and/or even local police.

So, that's what I've been doing. Make these cocksucking mail order med spam companies call the DEA offices. How hilarious is that?
Haiku # 51414, September 19, 2014 9:50 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just like King Elvis.
They will die taking a shit.
And I'll sell tickets.
Haiku # 51412, September 19, 2014 1:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
And before they die
pour scalding coffee down them.
They'll shit out their lives.
Haiku # 51411, September 19, 2014 1:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Not but blind torsos.
Blind and deaf with charcoal stumps.
Then starve them to death.
Haiku # 51410, September 19, 2014 1:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Adrenaline shots
so they can't go into shock.
Gouge out both their eyes!
Haiku # 51409, September 19, 2014 1:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Get the blow torches!
Tie them down; burn off their limbs.
Inject them with meth.
Haiku # 51408, September 19, 2014 1:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Now there is no spam.
I can be a douche bag too.
"Sorry but" "Hello".
Haiku # 51405, September 18, 2014 1:59 pm ET
by FUCK YOU SPAMMERS!!!!! of up your ass
chemistry is hard
hard like this damn chair on
buttermilk pancake
Haiku # 51351, September 18, 2014 12:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'll spell it backwards
noitcnufsyd elitcere
keep spammers away!
Haiku # 51350, September 18, 2014 11:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
frothy water pic
google+ is such a waste
roast beef or turkey
Haiku # 51349, September 18, 2014 11:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
falling rice bags kill
I need to go brush my teeth
yo momma so fat!
Haiku # 51348, September 18, 2014 11:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
induced suicide
teen girls overusing like
struck with a tuna
Haiku # 51347, September 18, 2014 11:50 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
only eight more now
it's universal conquest
or something like that
Haiku # 51346, September 18, 2014 11:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
why are you laughing
does this then make you happy
eat a big booger
Haiku # 51345, September 18, 2014 11:47 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
and in walks Jesus
where can I get some free beer
torture is not nice
Haiku # 51344, September 18, 2014 11:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I can't think of it
Bad Haiku: (necessary)
I do not know why
Haiku # 51343, September 18, 2014 11:45 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
is there comedy
he's wearing a business suit
clowns are like boring
Haiku # 51342, September 18, 2014 11:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
no it didn't work
so here is a new haiku
you are so welcome
Haiku # 51341, September 18, 2014 11:41 am ET
by of
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