Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

I beg your pardoon.
Your garden smells like dog shit.
Time to flush it down.

Starry Pardoon (Russian: Old Fart).
Haiku # 51737, December 5, 2014 5:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I beg your pardon
I never promised you a
fucking rose garden
Haiku # 51735, December 3, 2014 8:38 pm ET
by Drag Queen Prize Fighter
Towards far pee stall.
If you were to smell my poo,
You would lose to stink.
Haiku # 51726, November 30, 2014 10:24 am ET
by Bad Haiku
Cowards are ye all
If you were in my canoe
You would choose to sink
Haiku # 51724, November 29, 2014 2:47 am ET
by Hire on free
I expect welcome
I receive rude apathy
Step up now lurkers
Haiku # 51723, November 29, 2014 12:04 am ET
by Fire on knee of Suboceanic trench low
I am so nervous
to post here with such esteemed
poets and artists
Haiku # 51722, November 28, 2014 10:57 pm ET
by Irony of Rocky Mountain High
Fat Albert man boobs.
A ghetto pearl necklace.
He needed the cash.
Haiku # 51721, November 28, 2014 6:26 pm ET
by Bad Haiku
I was also raped.
Except that I sold my ass.
Damn Jello pudding.

I sold my soul.
And I also sold my hole.
Butterscotch pudding.

I'll do anything.
Yes, I like Jello that much.
Fat Albert flavor.
Haiku # 51717, November 26, 2014 4:42 pm ET
by Obamas daughters' other dog, Sunny. of White House Back Lawn
Not working is good.
And it's better to be drunk.
All women love me.
Haiku # 51716, November 26, 2014 4:37 pm ET
by Barrack Obama's daughters' dog, Bo of White House
It's windy today Greg
Too windy to work with a crane
Better to be unemployed today
Haiku # 51712, November 24, 2014 4:43 pm ET
by Tara of Thorold
Math is hard it sucks
Especially in the tub with my duck
Quack quack quack quack quack
Haiku # 51711, November 24, 2014 4:36 pm ET
by Tara of Thorold
I want to buy crack.
I do not want to smoke it.
It is for my whore.

She's in my basement.
Locked up so she can't run off.
All she needs is crack.
Haiku # 51709, November 24, 2014 9:59 am ET
by Bill Cosby
I see you been talking
To yourself for months
All it is is a mirror
Haiku # 51708, November 23, 2014 11:43 pm ET
by moxie
Goodbye!
Haiku # 51705, November 22, 2014 9:28 am ET
by migleyhup
Flig flotten eep doo.
Zshoo fliggest hoomp zog rooboid.
Ambot kaayo.
Haiku # 51701, November 21, 2014 7:56 pm ET
by Fliggy Floppest Floom
mxlipk Dingleberry Pie Dot Com xyk382 nglspim Depends Undergarment Fetish xe382b
Here's a good question:
What do old women taste like?
Depends! Ha Ha Ha!
Haiku # 51687, November 19, 2014 10:28 am ET
by Hannibal Lecter of Nursing Home
reverse phone lookup free results I am no longer positive kfkeedkgaadd
Haiku # 51680, November 18, 2014 12:22 am ET
by owtwturr of USA
Scamming Africans!
Nuke Nigeria Today!
Destroy The Scam Spam!
Haiku # 51678, November 17, 2014 12:37 pm ET
by SuperCunt
Filthy diseased whore.
Snow white and the seven dwarves.
Black and white dwarf orgy.

Big bang orgasm.
Disney Carl Sagan slut!
Big black gaping hole.
Haiku # 51676, November 16, 2014 3:39 pm ET
by Spooge fest titty sprinkles
Goddamn fucking shit.
Fuck these fucking puke bag fucks.
Cunt drizzle stench slime.
Haiku # 51675, November 16, 2014 3:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Goddamn scamming cunts.
Lets rip out their entrails.
Love their expression.

We're scammed high and low.
Obama care and loan scams
There's no difference.

We're squeezed for our cash.
And they never see a court.
I want a fucking revolution and I don't give a shit if this is more than 5 syllables! Fuck 'em! Fuck the thieves and scammers and burn them alive! We need to take back what is ours!
Haiku # 51674, November 16, 2014 3:12 pm ET
by Scamming Cunts
hey petite philae
wave those so distant dendrons
hold on for the ride
Haiku # 51672, November 15, 2014 6:51 am ET
by ash
I prefer gerbils.
Poodle ass is too loose.
Sometimes I do rats.
Haiku # 51671, November 14, 2014 8:05 pm ET
by Hooray! The spam is gone... for 5 minutes.
What is Haiku,
I think I may have done this wrong,
Does this irritate you
Haiku # 51670, November 14, 2014 5:29 pm ET
by POODLE-ASS of POODLEANALSMOOSH
Is it really gay,
If the man you are fucking,
Was once a female
Haiku # 51669, November 14, 2014 5:27 pm ET
by POODLE-ASS of POODLEANALSMOOSH
And I fucked her right,
Fuck her right in the pussy,
right in the pussy
Haiku # 51668, November 14, 2014 5:26 pm ET
by POODLE-ASS of POODLEANALSMOOSH
Anal with poodle,
SMOOSH SMOOSH SMOOSH SMOOSH SMOOSH SMOOSH SMOOSH,
Gaping poodle ass
Haiku # 51667, November 14, 2014 4:51 pm ET
by POODLE-ASS of POODLEANALSMOOSH
Japanese Haiku:
The moon shines brightly.
Moon beams shimmer on the pond.
Hear how the frogs sing.

American translation:
The moon shines brightly.
Frogs are singing at the pond.
Lets go home and fuck.

They say the same thing.
You might miss the subtlety.
Both are about sex.

But then if you're me,
You'd go home and fuck the frog.
Subtlety is dumb.
Haiku # 51665, November 14, 2014 9:26 am ET
by Most Disturbing Novel of Evil book
Iamback's "jelly".
He wants a Star Trek wedding.
Dreams of sucking Kirk

I'd rather be gay
than to be a jugalo.
Bunch of white trash scum.

"W00t w00t!" mating call
for donkey raping crack heads
and chicken fuckers.

ICP butt bong:
Gravity Bong with vodka.
Right up your ass hole.

Instant alcohol.
Straight from sphincter to your brain.
How Iamback drinks.
Haiku # 51659, November 13, 2014 7:44 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Boogerhead dot com
Register at go daddy.
The price is so cheap!
Haiku # 51649, November 11, 2014 7:02 pm ET
by $2,369.00 per year!!! of USA
I'd rather be gay
than to be a jugalo.
Bunch of white trash scum.

"W00t w00t!" mating call
for donkey raping crack heads
and chicken fuckers.
Haiku # 51633, November 9, 2014 6:07 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker The Highly Inappropriate.
an eternity
when hands briefly glancing spark
ember burns thrughout
an ember
Haiku # 51631, November 9, 2014 11:34 am ET
by luppowagonwicheu
I financed my loan
by using my erection.
Sperm bank deposit.
Haiku # 51630, November 9, 2014 10:44 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
so i bought the pills
by using my payday loan
hard on my finance
Haiku # 51629, November 9, 2014 8:13 am ET
by ash
They don't speak English.
And surely not Japanese.
African scam spam.

For this they get paid $3 per day.
Which is double what they would make elsewhere.
The website owners (scammers) are the ones who need
to be shot through the fucking head.
I guarantee they funnel the money to a Swiss bank.
If you follow these links they are all scam pharmacy or loan links.
Hardon pills are their fave, because who's going to report that they got ripped off when trying to buy viagra online?
I'm surprised these scam websites don't get shut down right away.
The inefficiency of justice.
Haiku # 51628, November 8, 2014 9:33 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Maybe you could spam
and still follow the format
That would impress me
Haiku # 51627, November 8, 2014 3:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Poop Haiku #393

Pooping is great fun.
Think of Barrack Obama.
He's in your toilet.

Fuck Obama-Care!
I'm forced to buy insurance.
Don't need or want it.

If I die, then I die.
Fucking lawyers and doctors.
They get more money.

Shit on Obama.
He lives inside your toilet.
Go buy some Ex-Lax.



(I don't really care about Obama, I just own stock in Ex-Lax. Ha ha ha!)
Haiku # 51617, November 3, 2014 9:44 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Newark New Jersey Sewage Refinery.
I smoked salvia.
I talked to my dead grandma.
But that's just normal.
Haiku # 51614, November 1, 2014 1:24 pm ET
by Internet scams of Switzerland Bank Crimes.
Flatulence lover.
Fart aficionado.
Yeah, bend over, bitch!
Haiku # 51613, November 1, 2014 1:13 pm ET
by Bend Over Bitch of sniffing the farts of Barrack and Michelle Obama because farts are healthy and good for you!
I want to be real
like that old time disco song
Makes me feel better
Haiku # 51612, November 1, 2014 2:45 am ET
by Moose pie
Tell me what to do
Tell me how you will pay me
Fall wind smells like work
Haiku # 51611, November 1, 2014 2:38 am ET
by Changes are coming
My undies are stained.
You might expect that from me.
But the stain is blue.
Haiku # 51606, October 30, 2014 11:51 pm ET
by Damn you, Smurfette!
Don't call me evil
I am far beyond evil.
I get paid for math.
Haiku # 51605, October 30, 2014 11:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What the fucking hell?!?!
Soon it will be "bad SCAM poo".
And not bad haiku.

Disable live links.
Or more oft monitor posts.
Or just go offline.

Eighteen years wasted.
Creativity is moot.
Can a website vote?
Haiku # 51602, October 30, 2014 10:41 am ET
by Darth Figpucker For President! of I'm not in Nigeria!
Resources like the one you mentioned here will be very useful to me! I will post a link to this page on my blog rental mobil jakarta . I am sure my visitors will find that very useful
Haiku # 51601, October 30, 2014 6:33 am ET
by Anna Maria of Jakarta, Indonesia
Emoticon spam.
Scamming you with a smile.
Scam loans everywhere.
Haiku # 51598, October 28, 2014 10:32 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Buddha was not fat.
And why do you even care??
Go eat Haagen-Dazs.



Stupid messsage board program will nix letters w/ accents but won't cut out live links.

Haiku # 51596, October 25, 2014 2:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Buddha was not fat.
And why do you even care?
Go eat H
Haiku # 51595, October 25, 2014 2:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku # 51594, October 25, 2014 7:40 am ET
by srZZjQja of ZEgcVpPr
Time will remember
what we do from now until
Shoe gaze lobster bris
Haiku # 51593, October 25, 2014 5:16 am ET
by I like Ikebana of Japan
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