Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Dead men tell no lies.
But they can get erections.
And they poop themselves.
Haiku # 52451, April 27, 2015 4:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
To write good haiku,
the last line should be subtle.
Fish don't fart bubbles.
Haiku # 52450, April 27, 2015 8:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It is all the same.
Had sex, made love to, or fucked.
Now do a hand stand.
Haiku # 52449, April 27, 2015 8:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The roasted flesh of
five castrated gummy bears
clog up my e-bong.
Haiku # 52446, April 26, 2015 8:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I put Viagra
in the Eucharist wafers.
Oh, those silly priests.
Haiku # 52445, April 26, 2015 7:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Do you have a fave?
Which haiku do you like best?
I know it's not mine.
Haiku # 52444, April 26, 2015 7:56 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Garlic anchovy
ghost pepper cappuccino.
Burping fire balls.
Haiku # 52443, April 26, 2015 7:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
.
life like a shadow
Darkly casting our presence
of no real substance.
Haiku # 52442, April 26, 2015 6:39 pm ET
by Dancing fool
I''m so fortunate.
My penis is very large.
Guinea pigs love me.
Haiku # 52441, April 25, 2015 7:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bring me a Mai Thai!
Or a Pina Colada!
Or a fucking beer!
Haiku # 52440, April 25, 2015 7:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You may suck my farts.
Get on your knees with a straw.
I've been eating eggs.
Haiku # 52439, April 25, 2015 7:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I hate you so much.
I hope your dick gets bit off
by snapping turtles.
Haiku # 52438, April 25, 2015 7:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hate is forever.
Love is an invented lie.
But it gets you laid.
Haiku # 52437, April 25, 2015 7:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Back from Jacking It.
San Diego is awesome.
There's no better place.
Haiku # 52436, April 25, 2015 7:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Summer time titties.
Blooming like flowers in spring.
I'll go jack off now.
Haiku # 52435, April 25, 2015 5:37 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
There's no better high.
Inject snake venom mixtures.
You'll live forever.
Haiku # 52434, April 25, 2015 5:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
This will not make sense.
Poets would not understand.
Deep fried tape worm snacks.
Haiku # 52433, April 25, 2015 5:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'd like to offend.
The dead, living, and unborn.
Eat a balut egg.
Haiku # 52432, April 25, 2015 5:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fortunate person
Lives in a place where writing
Earns living wages
Haiku # 52430, April 25, 2015 12:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Practice makes perfect
unless you practice it wrong
In which case, you suck
Haiku # 52426, April 24, 2015 12:58 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have work to do.
Of course I'm not doing it.
Stupid ass clients.
Haiku # 52425, April 23, 2015 6:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Endangered tortoise.
Airport security glitch.
hidden up my ass.
Haiku # 52424, April 23, 2015 6:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Stoned cunt ooze high coos.
Listen to the blues and snooze.
Beggers cannot choose.
Haiku # 52423, April 23, 2015 6:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Gingers have no soul.
They are walking meat puppets.
Eric Cartman knows.

Haiku # 52421, April 23, 2015 12:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sell me things I need,
like a soul or a conscience.
I would if I could
Haiku # 52420, April 23, 2015 8:47 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hello!
You can't pass it up.
The deal of a lifetime.
Buy before it's gone.
Haiku # 52417, April 22, 2015 12:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Graffiti poems
Going up here by the hour
Change in the weather
Haiku # 52416, April 22, 2015 1:24 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
Citronella bug
Candles, grill, tourists, star light
Sea gulls and stoners
Haiku # 52415, April 21, 2015 11:24 pm ET
by 218
Disposable things
Become the vital items
In consumer cult

Trash to trasures
Haiku # 52414, April 21, 2015 11:19 pm ET
by 218
Hello!
Yuppie spring time rite.
Banana plants are brought out.
Espresso beer bong.
Haiku # 52413, April 21, 2015 7:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
belief systems go
to explain phases of life
child, adult, parent
Haiku # 52412, April 21, 2015 4:32 pm ET
by 218
trials and fixtures of
life, leading to a fight of
fight or flight instincts
Haiku # 52411, April 21, 2015 4:31 pm ET
by 218
some folks survive to
fill the rocking chairs of the
world, watching the woods
Haiku # 52410, April 21, 2015 4:28 pm ET
by 218
excess leads to that
boredom ennui thingy, where
people post their feelings
Haiku # 52409, April 21, 2015 4:24 pm ET
by 218
what was the Net like
in the beginning before
it became kudzu
Haiku # 52408, April 21, 2015 4:13 pm ET
by 218
i am in a phase
of my life stagnant where I
think many end up

wanting to escape
the hustle of others, their plans
man off to Walden
Haiku # 52407, April 21, 2015 4:10 pm ET
by 218
used books are a thing
seems to be harder to find
i want library

a wall of volumes
fill the empty spaces not
touched by the Net space
Haiku # 52406, April 21, 2015 4:07 pm ET
by 218
i wonder what kinds
of meaningless poetry
i can post on here
Haiku # 52405, April 21, 2015 4:04 pm ET
by 218
i am now making
observations of the jock
impatient man there
Haiku # 52404, April 21, 2015 4:01 pm ET
by 218
hyperactive sports
fan twitches with ADD
ticks next to me here

i prefer ADHD
Haiku # 52403, April 21, 2015 3:56 pm ET
by 218
Hello!
I think if you start
your haiku as I just did,
The spam bots will die!
Haiku # 52402, April 20, 2015 3:18 pm ET
by urxiledixephibic of USA
Hello!

Two gays are fucking.
The one on top says to the
one on the bottom:

I need to go piss;
While I'm gone please do not cum;
Wait for me, okay?

The one on bottom
says, of course I'll wait for you;
but please hurry back.

But when he returns
there's cum all over the place;
all over the sheets,

even on the walls,
the ceiling, the ceiling fan,
the curtains and rug.

"Hey, you said you'd wait!"
The irate top gay exclaims.
"You came without me!"

Bottom boy replies:
"No, I did not cum at all.
I farted, my love!"

Goodbye!
Haiku # 52394, April 19, 2015 4:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hello!

Vegetarian
after church anal party
enema blaster.
Haiku # 52393, April 19, 2015 4:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Time keeps on moving
Always does not mean all ways
Eternity now
Haiku # 52392, April 19, 2015 12:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Thirty-eight percent.
Amount of spam on this site.
A sign of the times.
Haiku # 52386, April 17, 2015 5:40 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Are questions okay?
Are they allowed in haiku?
Do you even care?
Haiku # 52385, April 17, 2015 5:37 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hi Ayman
Whuz up
7b
Haiku # 52381, April 16, 2015 2:27 pm ET
by AYMAN of AYMAN RIZWAN
Hi frank
Whuz up
7B
Haiku # 52380, April 16, 2015 2:25 pm ET
by Hi Frank of Earth
Chicken falls like snow.
I eat all the fucking chickens.
Fuck you.
Haiku # 52379, April 16, 2015 9:21 am ET
by Dank Frank of the Stank
I hate statistics.
Fuck the null hypothesis.
Yo momma's a Ho.
Haiku # 52376, April 16, 2015 12:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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