My pregnant mistress.
Your pet blue-ringed octopus.
It is a fair trade.

how i love this site
the insight is outta sight
hidden meaningful

I knew a Dong once.
So beautiful and timid.
She can't leave China

Dare you right the dong?
The dong is made of wood AND
you might get splinters.

The flautist's flatus
flatly flew flamboyantly,
flapping flabby ass.

Flimsy flip-flops flap
and slap the tarmac whack,
like a booty smack.

This is such high art.
You get high and munch and fart.
Your brain blown apart.

Dare you ride the boat?
The boat is made of wood but
the wood is plastic

Haikus are stupid
They need many syllables
Well screw you Haiku look I'm already over limit.

how does one rescue
someone who seems too trapped to
rescue from rescue?

recital off taste
roleplays on display refer
to the dropbox site

on the other side
inhaling rancid flatus
may make you expire

"Rectal embouchure"
conjures imagery of
farting into flutes.

quite contrarily
skilful rectal embouchure
can be breathtaking

You are what you do
Sometimes someone does nothing
Ceasing to exist

Just say N2O.
Grateful Dead nitrous balloons.
Memory brain flush.

A week without SPAM.
I will celebrate with drugs.
Nitrous oxide blast.

This website is dead.
Parasites have drained its life.
Spouses do that too.

She is just busy
teaching her pet crocktopus
how to fetch surfers

I think Janis quit.
Spammers have defeated her.
What a horrid shame.

Let us now compose
poetry that offends God
so that He appears.

What do you call an
Arab who has goats and sheep?
He's bisexual!

Vaginoplasty.
Virgin tightness is restored.
Or just fuck black guys.

Telephone pole big.
Satisfy a blue whale.
Penile implant.

I don't need your love.
I need a million dollars.
Now go sell your ass.

I want to leave earth.
Launch me with bottle rockets.
Don't need life support.

That is one brave man.
I bet he's a real bad-ass.
Bad mother fucker.

This is not a haiku.
Fuck haikus and fuck you too.

Online gambling?
Only if there's cockfighting!
Must be live, of course.

You know what suck ass?
Combustion analysis.
Who cares what it is?!

Seven day old SPAM.
It is rather disgusting.
Please throw it away.

I'll breathe Hitler's farts,
and probably eat your shit.
Molecule or two?

God can eat my shit.
The universe is garbage.
It should be destroyed.

No one can tell me
Why we do the things we do
It all seems crazy

I fart near to far.
Continuous flatulence.
My ass creates mass.

Ev'ry breath you take
you breathe in Hitler's last fart.
Just one molecule.

Hello!

I fart in a jar
Then I close it up real quick
Save it for later

I fart in your car.
Picking old locks is easy.
Felony fart fun.

I fart in my car
It happens more than I want
My children giggle

Repeat offender
I still have nothing to say
So I go away

Empty space gets filled
random, poorly conceived thoughts.
Shadows of regrets

Earth worms are soothing.
Put one in your burnt penis.
Call me tomorrow.

The sunburnt penis aches.
It longs for air and vagina.
The soft flesh peels off.

My urethra is gaping.
Spread like a wet horse cunt.
Like your grandmother.

Interview questions:
Who is your favorite band?
Ever kill someone?

To be skinned is bliss.
Turned inside out like a glove.
Guts lying at feet.

Like rhinestone cowboy
Daddy go rodeo ham
Stink spangled insult

I have to go poop.
I'll be right back afterwards.
See, I am now back.

I did not fall in.
That could never have happened.
My ass is too wide.

Try using wetwipes.
They're way better than TP.
Your ass will feel great.

Viruses and spam.
Scam and sham, no thank you, ma'am.
Burn in hell, Goddamn!

I offer to you
Haiku about sudoku
It's logic, not math

We're born from the sea.
Origins that smell of fish.
You must love sushi.