Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 156 Days and 77035 Haiku later...

Sidney has winter?
What, like 50's and 60's?
Fahrenheit, of course.

Lord, stop your bitching.
It's hardly three feet of snow
and slick, icy roads.
Haiku # 52669, June 18, 2015 5:46 pm ET
by DF
sydney isn't cheap
but it is embarrassing
the pm is derp
Haiku # 52668, June 18, 2015 9:23 am ET
by ash
I can't believe this.
I just farted a haiku.
Five, seven, five toots.
Haiku # 52667, June 18, 2015 7:47 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Ash, you need to move.
I recommend Hawaii.
But it's expensive.

Learn to live with less.
Then you'll find that you have more.
Oh, I am so deep.
Haiku # 52666, June 18, 2015 7:42 am ET
by Darth Figpucker.
speaking of seasons
fuck winter with a large rake
it deserves to die
Haiku # 52665, June 18, 2015 7:23 am ET
by ash
Ride rainbow muskrat
Escape clutches of evil
Be superhero!
Haiku # 52664, June 18, 2015 1:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
haiku my haiku
rise up and hear my poem
or buy boner pills
Haiku # 52663, June 17, 2015 7:37 am ET
by ash
I need my coffee.
Or someone else's coffee.
I really don't care.
Haiku # 52662, June 17, 2015 7:14 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Well, I must confess,
I do, do that to doo doo.
Ahead of the times?
Haiku # 52661, June 16, 2015 6:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
All men will do this.
Use their pee blast to clean poop
stuck on the toilet.
Haiku # 52660, June 16, 2015 6:33 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
There will come a day.
Roving nano cameras
will replace porn sites.
Haiku # 52659, June 16, 2015 3:39 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I have a chicken.
I want to violate her.
The neighbors might see.
Haiku # 52658, June 16, 2015 2:49 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I saw a rainbow
On the day my grandma died.
Fuckin' lesbian!
Haiku # 52657, June 15, 2015 11:17 pm ET
by Bo Burnham
lament of the new
"webpage not available"
tears in my coffee
Haiku # 52656, June 15, 2015 5:35 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
iamback has a
Star Wars themed anal dildo.
It's a light saber!
Haiku # 52655, June 15, 2015 8:25 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Speaking of Star Wars,
How do you like the trailer?
Kicking a dead horse?

I guess it's not dead
if it keeps spitting out cash.
Where's my light saber?
Haiku # 52654, June 15, 2015 8:19 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
time to rise philae !
perihelion is near
you have work to do
Haiku # 52653, June 15, 2015 6:55 am ET
by ash
Ah yes. Gay StarWars themed wedding. Where's JanAss The Hutt with her elegant boo-tay? Nippress reading Proust aloud while Ash weeps openly whilst licking the pages if GQ Mazagine.
Haiku # 52652, June 14, 2015 6:37 pm ET
by iamback
Ashy Nippressy....two as one, one as two. Lovers of the gay, taking a poo.
Haiku # 52651, June 14, 2015 6:35 pm ET
by iamback
Ash.....Nippress.......Darth Gaydar and StormPooper. They have great lil' Jawa babies from having the gay sex.
Haiku # 52650, June 14, 2015 6:33 pm ET
by iamback
ten trillion dollars ?
all your basis are belong
chinese stock market
Haiku # 52649, June 14, 2015 5:56 am ET
by ash
Stan is an asshat
He stole all my Doritos
I must be avenged!
Haiku # 52648, June 14, 2015 4:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bodily functions
do not create bad haiku.
It's vice versa.
Haiku # 52647, June 13, 2015 5:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
She has got nice tits.
But then so does her brother.
Both are natural.
Haiku # 52646, June 12, 2015 6:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
who buys a great dane ?
surely coprophiliacs
who like foamy drool
Haiku # 52645, June 12, 2015 5:08 am ET
by ash
healthy choice for me
what's next for my svelte body?
Peppermint Patty!
Haiku # 52644, June 11, 2015 6:38 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
Robert E. Howard's
Conan the Barbarian
walked by and farted.
Haiku # 52643, June 11, 2015 6:29 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
typing slowly now
was working diligently
then coffee ran out
Haiku # 52642, June 11, 2015 6:11 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
haiku after lunch
I am procrastinating
in Lil Bub we trust
Haiku # 52641, June 11, 2015 6:11 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
we're in awesome times
surely, world peace not far off
Sriracha mayo
Haiku # 52640, June 11, 2015 6:10 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
we are so lonely
wifi has forsaken us
no route to host found
Haiku # 52639, June 11, 2015 6:09 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
though we cannot work
internet we love you so
we blame Verizon
Haiku # 52638, June 11, 2015 6:09 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
when the network fails
lonely T-rex plays with me
curse you, Pterodactyl!
Haiku # 52637, June 11, 2015 6:08 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
What do you get when
two puns walk into a bar.
A fucking haiku!
Haiku # 52636, June 10, 2015 7:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Playwriting is hard?
Write a play about Geico.
Cave men can do it.
Haiku # 52635, June 10, 2015 7:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I just remembered,
playwriting is difficult.
Still, it can be fun
Haiku # 52633, June 10, 2015 1:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It is so easy,
even cave men can do it.
Geico Insurance
Haiku # 52629, June 9, 2015 12:48 am ET
by Commercial nostalgia
Coffee is a drug.
But I've never sucked a dick
for caffeine money.
Haiku # 52628, June 8, 2015 8:31 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Livin' the good life.
Gettin' that K-mart pussy
at WalMart prices.
Haiku # 52627, June 8, 2015 8:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
By this time next year
I'm going to own the world.
All poets must leave.
Haiku # 52623, June 7, 2015 2:02 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Wild Saturday night
Sunday morning hangover
Must drink less next time
Haiku # 52622, June 7, 2015 12:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Victory is ours!
Pour forth your foggy musings
unburdened by spam
Haiku # 52621, June 7, 2015 2:17 am ET
by Eye no nutting
I do not know why
But i am bad at Haikus
Five syllable line
Haiku # 52620, June 7, 2015 2:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
There was a crack down.
Large spam bot servers shut off.
Or something like that.

I read it somewhere.
Does not mean that it is true.
Either way, I'm glad.

Back to bad haiku.
Farts, burps, and genital scabs.
Awful stuff like that.
Haiku # 52619, June 6, 2015 8:01 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of the basement of Satan's outhouse.
haiku surges on
leaving spam bots floundering
and a write-full plaice
Haiku # 52618, June 6, 2015 7:41 am ET
by ash
Seriously, I
think that the spammers gave up.
Internet history?
Haiku # 52617, June 5, 2015 12:23 pm ET
by Janis
The old beggar scratched.
It was not done politely.
One would almost think.
Haiku # 52616, June 4, 2015 9:53 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
The clock is ticking.
Nintendo seems to stop it.
Look in the mirror.
Haiku # 52615, June 4, 2015 2:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
There was a dead dog.
She poked it with a long stick.
Maggots slithered out.
Haiku # 52614, June 4, 2015 1:48 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker the Highly Inappropriate of my mother's basement
No spam to clean up?
Unfuckingbelievable
Boner pills for all!!!!
Haiku # 52613, June 3, 2015 1:31 pm ET
by Janis
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