Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

when the air outside
is half as warm as the surf
i shall call it cold
Haiku # 52670, June 20, 2015 7:31 am ET
by ash
Sidney has winter?
What, like 50's and 60's?
Fahrenheit, of course.

Lord, stop your bitching.
It's hardly three feet of snow
and slick, icy roads.
Haiku # 52669, June 18, 2015 5:46 pm ET
by DF
sydney isn't cheap
but it is embarrassing
the pm is derp
Haiku # 52668, June 18, 2015 9:23 am ET
by ash
I can't believe this.
I just farted a haiku.
Five, seven, five toots.
Haiku # 52667, June 18, 2015 7:47 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Ash, you need to move.
I recommend Hawaii.
But it's expensive.

Learn to live with less.
Then you'll find that you have more.
Oh, I am so deep.
Haiku # 52666, June 18, 2015 7:42 am ET
by Darth Figpucker.
speaking of seasons
fuck winter with a large rake
it deserves to die
Haiku # 52665, June 18, 2015 7:23 am ET
by ash
Ride rainbow muskrat
Escape clutches of evil
Be superhero!
Haiku # 52664, June 18, 2015 1:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
haiku my haiku
rise up and hear my poem
or buy boner pills
Haiku # 52663, June 17, 2015 7:37 am ET
by ash
I need my coffee.
Or someone else's coffee.
I really don't care.
Haiku # 52662, June 17, 2015 7:14 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Well, I must confess,
I do, do that to doo doo.
Ahead of the times?
Haiku # 52661, June 16, 2015 6:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
All men will do this.
Use their pee blast to clean poop
stuck on the toilet.
Haiku # 52660, June 16, 2015 6:33 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
There will come a day.
Roving nano cameras
will replace porn sites.
Haiku # 52659, June 16, 2015 3:39 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I have a chicken.
I want to violate her.
The neighbors might see.
Haiku # 52658, June 16, 2015 2:49 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I saw a rainbow
On the day my grandma died.
Fuckin' lesbian!
Haiku # 52657, June 15, 2015 11:17 pm ET
by Bo Burnham
lament of the new
"webpage not available"
tears in my coffee
Haiku # 52656, June 15, 2015 5:35 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
iamback has a
Star Wars themed anal dildo.
It's a light saber!
Haiku # 52655, June 15, 2015 8:25 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Speaking of Star Wars,
How do you like the trailer?
Kicking a dead horse?

I guess it's not dead
if it keeps spitting out cash.
Where's my light saber?
Haiku # 52654, June 15, 2015 8:19 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
time to rise philae !
perihelion is near
you have work to do
Haiku # 52653, June 15, 2015 6:55 am ET
by ash
Ah yes. Gay StarWars themed wedding. Where's JanAss The Hutt with her elegant boo-tay? Nippress reading Proust aloud while Ash weeps openly whilst licking the pages if GQ Mazagine.
Haiku # 52652, June 14, 2015 6:37 pm ET
by iamback
Ashy Nippressy....two as one, one as two. Lovers of the gay, taking a poo.
Haiku # 52651, June 14, 2015 6:35 pm ET
by iamback
Ash.....Nippress.......Darth Gaydar and StormPooper. They have great lil' Jawa babies from having the gay sex.
Haiku # 52650, June 14, 2015 6:33 pm ET
by iamback
ten trillion dollars ?
all your basis are belong
chinese stock market
Haiku # 52649, June 14, 2015 5:56 am ET
by ash
Stan is an asshat
He stole all my Doritos
I must be avenged!
Haiku # 52648, June 14, 2015 4:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bodily functions
do not create bad haiku.
It's vice versa.
Haiku # 52647, June 13, 2015 5:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
She has got nice tits.
But then so does her brother.
Both are natural.
Haiku # 52646, June 12, 2015 6:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
who buys a great dane ?
surely coprophiliacs
who like foamy drool
Haiku # 52645, June 12, 2015 5:08 am ET
by ash
healthy choice for me
what's next for my svelte body?
Peppermint Patty!
Haiku # 52644, June 11, 2015 6:38 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
Robert E. Howard's
Conan the Barbarian
walked by and farted.
Haiku # 52643, June 11, 2015 6:29 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
typing slowly now
was working diligently
then coffee ran out
Haiku # 52642, June 11, 2015 6:11 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
haiku after lunch
I am procrastinating
in Lil Bub we trust
Haiku # 52641, June 11, 2015 6:11 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
we're in awesome times
surely, world peace not far off
Sriracha mayo
Haiku # 52640, June 11, 2015 6:10 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
we are so lonely
wifi has forsaken us
no route to host found
Haiku # 52639, June 11, 2015 6:09 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
though we cannot work
internet we love you so
we blame Verizon
Haiku # 52638, June 11, 2015 6:09 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
when the network fails
lonely T-rex plays with me
curse you, Pterodactyl!
Haiku # 52637, June 11, 2015 6:08 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
What do you get when
two puns walk into a bar.
A fucking haiku!
Haiku # 52636, June 10, 2015 7:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Playwriting is hard?
Write a play about Geico.
Cave men can do it.
Haiku # 52635, June 10, 2015 7:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I just remembered,
playwriting is difficult.
Still, it can be fun
Haiku # 52633, June 10, 2015 1:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It is so easy,
even cave men can do it.
Geico Insurance
Haiku # 52629, June 9, 2015 12:48 am ET
by Commercial nostalgia
Coffee is a drug.
But I've never sucked a dick
for caffeine money.
Haiku # 52628, June 8, 2015 8:31 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Livin' the good life.
Gettin' that K-mart pussy
at WalMart prices.
Haiku # 52627, June 8, 2015 8:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
By this time next year
I'm going to own the world.
All poets must leave.
Haiku # 52623, June 7, 2015 2:02 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Wild Saturday night
Sunday morning hangover
Must drink less next time
Haiku # 52622, June 7, 2015 12:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Victory is ours!
Pour forth your foggy musings
unburdened by spam
Haiku # 52621, June 7, 2015 2:17 am ET
by Eye no nutting
I do not know why
But i am bad at Haikus
Five syllable line
Haiku # 52620, June 7, 2015 2:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
There was a crack down.
Large spam bot servers shut off.
Or something like that.

I read it somewhere.
Does not mean that it is true.
Either way, I'm glad.

Back to bad haiku.
Farts, burps, and genital scabs.
Awful stuff like that.
Haiku # 52619, June 6, 2015 8:01 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of the basement of Satan's outhouse.
haiku surges on
leaving spam bots floundering
and a write-full plaice
Haiku # 52618, June 6, 2015 7:41 am ET
by ash
Seriously, I
think that the spammers gave up.
Internet history?
Haiku # 52617, June 5, 2015 12:23 pm ET
by Janis
The old beggar scratched.
It was not done politely.
One would almost think.
Haiku # 52616, June 4, 2015 9:53 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
The clock is ticking.
Nintendo seems to stop it.
Look in the mirror.
Haiku # 52615, June 4, 2015 2:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
There was a dead dog.
She poked it with a long stick.
Maggots slithered out.
Haiku # 52614, June 4, 2015 1:48 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker the Highly Inappropriate of my mother's basement
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