Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 158 Days and 77037 Haiku later...

So have you prepared?
It's the last great extinction.
What's in your stew pot?
Haiku # 52683, June 23, 2015 10:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
There is no freedom.
Boundaries, borders, cages.
Com part mental eyes.
Haiku # 52682, June 23, 2015 10:17 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
If you have two balls
and you take away two balls,
then what do you have?
Haiku # 52681, June 23, 2015 6:49 pm ET
by Caitlyn Jenner
One day God farted.
This event was the Big Bang.
Holy pinto beans.
Haiku # 52680, June 23, 2015 6:12 pm ET
by I speak nothing of which you know.
All throughout the day
you must always ask yourself:
What would Darth Maul do?
Haiku # 52679, June 23, 2015 10:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sun rise tomorrow
I will see it and wonder
Fucking Universe
Haiku # 52678, June 23, 2015 5:16 am ET
by I know nothing of which you speak
My mom taught English.
Agustin English that is.
What an idiot.
Haiku # 52677, June 23, 2015 12:44 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Accept correction
Or else you won't get published
If that's what you want
Haiku # 52676, June 23, 2015 12:40 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Please accept the enclosed submission for consideration for publication
Haiku # 52675, June 22, 2015 2:33 pm ET
by G David Schwartz of Cincinnati, Ohio
"Santorum latte!"
The Starbucks barista yelled.
No one even knew.
Haiku # 52674, June 21, 2015 1:18 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Ring Out Solstice Bells.
That is a Jethro Tull song.
Keep U2 down there.
Haiku # 52673, June 21, 2015 1:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
the winter solstice
has finally come and gone
and not before time
Haiku # 52672, June 21, 2015 5:46 am ET
by ash
Life is horrible.
It's worse when there's poetry.
Thus it is proven.
Haiku # 52671, June 20, 2015 11:59 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
when the air outside
is half as warm as the surf
i shall call it cold
Haiku # 52670, June 20, 2015 7:31 am ET
by ash
Sidney has winter?
What, like 50's and 60's?
Fahrenheit, of course.

Lord, stop your bitching.
It's hardly three feet of snow
and slick, icy roads.
Haiku # 52669, June 18, 2015 5:46 pm ET
by DF
sydney isn't cheap
but it is embarrassing
the pm is derp
Haiku # 52668, June 18, 2015 9:23 am ET
by ash
I can't believe this.
I just farted a haiku.
Five, seven, five toots.
Haiku # 52667, June 18, 2015 7:47 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Ash, you need to move.
I recommend Hawaii.
But it's expensive.

Learn to live with less.
Then you'll find that you have more.
Oh, I am so deep.
Haiku # 52666, June 18, 2015 7:42 am ET
by Darth Figpucker.
speaking of seasons
fuck winter with a large rake
it deserves to die
Haiku # 52665, June 18, 2015 7:23 am ET
by ash
Ride rainbow muskrat
Escape clutches of evil
Be superhero!
Haiku # 52664, June 18, 2015 1:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
haiku my haiku
rise up and hear my poem
or buy boner pills
Haiku # 52663, June 17, 2015 7:37 am ET
by ash
I need my coffee.
Or someone else's coffee.
I really don't care.
Haiku # 52662, June 17, 2015 7:14 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Well, I must confess,
I do, do that to doo doo.
Ahead of the times?
Haiku # 52661, June 16, 2015 6:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
All men will do this.
Use their pee blast to clean poop
stuck on the toilet.
Haiku # 52660, June 16, 2015 6:33 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
There will come a day.
Roving nano cameras
will replace porn sites.
Haiku # 52659, June 16, 2015 3:39 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I have a chicken.
I want to violate her.
The neighbors might see.
Haiku # 52658, June 16, 2015 2:49 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I saw a rainbow
On the day my grandma died.
Fuckin' lesbian!
Haiku # 52657, June 15, 2015 11:17 pm ET
by Bo Burnham
lament of the new
"webpage not available"
tears in my coffee
Haiku # 52656, June 15, 2015 5:35 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
iamback has a
Star Wars themed anal dildo.
It's a light saber!
Haiku # 52655, June 15, 2015 8:25 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Speaking of Star Wars,
How do you like the trailer?
Kicking a dead horse?

I guess it's not dead
if it keeps spitting out cash.
Where's my light saber?
Haiku # 52654, June 15, 2015 8:19 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
time to rise philae !
perihelion is near
you have work to do
Haiku # 52653, June 15, 2015 6:55 am ET
by ash
Ah yes. Gay StarWars themed wedding. Where's JanAss The Hutt with her elegant boo-tay? Nippress reading Proust aloud while Ash weeps openly whilst licking the pages if GQ Mazagine.
Haiku # 52652, June 14, 2015 6:37 pm ET
by iamback
Ashy Nippressy....two as one, one as two. Lovers of the gay, taking a poo.
Haiku # 52651, June 14, 2015 6:35 pm ET
by iamback
Ash.....Nippress.......Darth Gaydar and StormPooper. They have great lil' Jawa babies from having the gay sex.
Haiku # 52650, June 14, 2015 6:33 pm ET
by iamback
ten trillion dollars ?
all your basis are belong
chinese stock market
Haiku # 52649, June 14, 2015 5:56 am ET
by ash
Stan is an asshat
He stole all my Doritos
I must be avenged!
Haiku # 52648, June 14, 2015 4:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bodily functions
do not create bad haiku.
It's vice versa.
Haiku # 52647, June 13, 2015 5:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
She has got nice tits.
But then so does her brother.
Both are natural.
Haiku # 52646, June 12, 2015 6:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
who buys a great dane ?
surely coprophiliacs
who like foamy drool
Haiku # 52645, June 12, 2015 5:08 am ET
by ash
healthy choice for me
what's next for my svelte body?
Peppermint Patty!
Haiku # 52644, June 11, 2015 6:38 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
Robert E. Howard's
Conan the Barbarian
walked by and farted.
Haiku # 52643, June 11, 2015 6:29 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
typing slowly now
was working diligently
then coffee ran out
Haiku # 52642, June 11, 2015 6:11 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
haiku after lunch
I am procrastinating
in Lil Bub we trust
Haiku # 52641, June 11, 2015 6:11 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
we're in awesome times
surely, world peace not far off
Sriracha mayo
Haiku # 52640, June 11, 2015 6:10 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
we are so lonely
wifi has forsaken us
no route to host found
Haiku # 52639, June 11, 2015 6:09 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
though we cannot work
internet we love you so
we blame Verizon
Haiku # 52638, June 11, 2015 6:09 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
when the network fails
lonely T-rex plays with me
curse you, Pterodactyl!
Haiku # 52637, June 11, 2015 6:08 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
What do you get when
two puns walk into a bar.
A fucking haiku!
Haiku # 52636, June 10, 2015 7:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Playwriting is hard?
Write a play about Geico.
Cave men can do it.
Haiku # 52635, June 10, 2015 7:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I just remembered,
playwriting is difficult.
Still, it can be fun
Haiku # 52633, June 10, 2015 1:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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