Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

like my hair pattern
the winter is receding
and darkness is less
Haiku # 52689, June 25, 2015 8:20 pm ET
by ash
I wade through roses
wind swishing around my thighs
green grasshoppers buzz
Haiku # 52688, June 25, 2015 3:53 pm ET
by Betty LeBomb
There once was a man from Xanadu.
And he did not like to write haiku.
So he wrote a limerick.
And he hopes it makes you sick.
Just like you were eating some poo poo.
Haiku # 52687, June 24, 2015 9:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I've been wanking it.
For almost thirty-five year.
And it's still working.
Haiku # 52686, June 24, 2015 7:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
well, fuck you capture
your pathetic tiny font
mocking my optics
Haiku # 52685, June 24, 2015 6:04 am ET
by ash
all hail the blue sky
and plus one for cumuli
heavenly high five
Haiku # 52684, June 24, 2015 5:59 am ET
by ash
So have you prepared?
It's the last great extinction.
What's in your stew pot?
Haiku # 52683, June 23, 2015 10:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
There is no freedom.
Boundaries, borders, cages.
Com part mental eyes.
Haiku # 52682, June 23, 2015 10:17 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
If you have two balls
and you take away two balls,
then what do you have?
Haiku # 52681, June 23, 2015 6:49 pm ET
by Caitlyn Jenner
One day God farted.
This event was the Big Bang.
Holy pinto beans.
Haiku # 52680, June 23, 2015 6:12 pm ET
by I speak nothing of which you know.
All throughout the day
you must always ask yourself:
What would Darth Maul do?
Haiku # 52679, June 23, 2015 10:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sun rise tomorrow
I will see it and wonder
Fucking Universe
Haiku # 52678, June 23, 2015 5:16 am ET
by I know nothing of which you speak
My mom taught English.
Agustin English that is.
What an idiot.
Haiku # 52677, June 23, 2015 12:44 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Accept correction
Or else you won't get published
If that's what you want
Haiku # 52676, June 23, 2015 12:40 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Please accept the enclosed submission for consideration for publication
Haiku # 52675, June 22, 2015 2:33 pm ET
by G David Schwartz of Cincinnati, Ohio
"Santorum latte!"
The Starbucks barista yelled.
No one even knew.
Haiku # 52674, June 21, 2015 1:18 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Ring Out Solstice Bells.
That is a Jethro Tull song.
Keep U2 down there.
Haiku # 52673, June 21, 2015 1:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
the winter solstice
has finally come and gone
and not before time
Haiku # 52672, June 21, 2015 5:46 am ET
by ash
Life is horrible.
It's worse when there's poetry.
Thus it is proven.
Haiku # 52671, June 20, 2015 11:59 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
when the air outside
is half as warm as the surf
i shall call it cold
Haiku # 52670, June 20, 2015 7:31 am ET
by ash
Sidney has winter?
What, like 50's and 60's?
Fahrenheit, of course.

Lord, stop your bitching.
It's hardly three feet of snow
and slick, icy roads.
Haiku # 52669, June 18, 2015 5:46 pm ET
by DF
sydney isn't cheap
but it is embarrassing
the pm is derp
Haiku # 52668, June 18, 2015 9:23 am ET
by ash
I can't believe this.
I just farted a haiku.
Five, seven, five toots.
Haiku # 52667, June 18, 2015 7:47 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Ash, you need to move.
I recommend Hawaii.
But it's expensive.

Learn to live with less.
Then you'll find that you have more.
Oh, I am so deep.
Haiku # 52666, June 18, 2015 7:42 am ET
by Darth Figpucker.
speaking of seasons
fuck winter with a large rake
it deserves to die
Haiku # 52665, June 18, 2015 7:23 am ET
by ash
Ride rainbow muskrat
Escape clutches of evil
Be superhero!
Haiku # 52664, June 18, 2015 1:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
haiku my haiku
rise up and hear my poem
or buy boner pills
Haiku # 52663, June 17, 2015 7:37 am ET
by ash
I need my coffee.
Or someone else's coffee.
I really don't care.
Haiku # 52662, June 17, 2015 7:14 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Well, I must confess,
I do, do that to doo doo.
Ahead of the times?
Haiku # 52661, June 16, 2015 6:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
All men will do this.
Use their pee blast to clean poop
stuck on the toilet.
Haiku # 52660, June 16, 2015 6:33 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
There will come a day.
Roving nano cameras
will replace porn sites.
Haiku # 52659, June 16, 2015 3:39 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I have a chicken.
I want to violate her.
The neighbors might see.
Haiku # 52658, June 16, 2015 2:49 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I saw a rainbow
On the day my grandma died.
Fuckin' lesbian!
Haiku # 52657, June 15, 2015 11:17 pm ET
by Bo Burnham
lament of the new
"webpage not available"
tears in my coffee
Haiku # 52656, June 15, 2015 5:35 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
iamback has a
Star Wars themed anal dildo.
It's a light saber!
Haiku # 52655, June 15, 2015 8:25 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Speaking of Star Wars,
How do you like the trailer?
Kicking a dead horse?

I guess it's not dead
if it keeps spitting out cash.
Where's my light saber?
Haiku # 52654, June 15, 2015 8:19 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
time to rise philae !
perihelion is near
you have work to do
Haiku # 52653, June 15, 2015 6:55 am ET
by ash
Ah yes. Gay StarWars themed wedding. Where's JanAss The Hutt with her elegant boo-tay? Nippress reading Proust aloud while Ash weeps openly whilst licking the pages if GQ Mazagine.
Haiku # 52652, June 14, 2015 6:37 pm ET
by iamback
Ashy Nippressy....two as one, one as two. Lovers of the gay, taking a poo.
Haiku # 52651, June 14, 2015 6:35 pm ET
by iamback
Ash.....Nippress.......Darth Gaydar and StormPooper. They have great lil' Jawa babies from having the gay sex.
Haiku # 52650, June 14, 2015 6:33 pm ET
by iamback
ten trillion dollars ?
all your basis are belong
chinese stock market
Haiku # 52649, June 14, 2015 5:56 am ET
by ash
Stan is an asshat
He stole all my Doritos
I must be avenged!
Haiku # 52648, June 14, 2015 4:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bodily functions
do not create bad haiku.
It's vice versa.
Haiku # 52647, June 13, 2015 5:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
She has got nice tits.
But then so does her brother.
Both are natural.
Haiku # 52646, June 12, 2015 6:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
who buys a great dane ?
surely coprophiliacs
who like foamy drool
Haiku # 52645, June 12, 2015 5:08 am ET
by ash
healthy choice for me
what's next for my svelte body?
Peppermint Patty!
Haiku # 52644, June 11, 2015 6:38 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
Robert E. Howard's
Conan the Barbarian
walked by and farted.
Haiku # 52643, June 11, 2015 6:29 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
typing slowly now
was working diligently
then coffee ran out
Haiku # 52642, June 11, 2015 6:11 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
haiku after lunch
I am procrastinating
in Lil Bub we trust
Haiku # 52641, June 11, 2015 6:11 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
we're in awesome times
surely, world peace not far off
Sriracha mayo
Haiku # 52640, June 11, 2015 6:10 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
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