You can pick your nose.
You can also pick your friends.
But you can't wipe your friends on the back of the couch.

It's funny you mention mailing boogers. When I get junk mail with a return envelope -- postage paid -- that's exactly what I do. Sometimes I also mail them perverted poetry if I have time.

Good luck to you sir.
Nice to know I'm not alone.
Great minds think alike.

I like my boogers
I like your boogers better
Please mail them to me

Mosquitoes are bad.
Sun tans and Mai Thais are good.
Bikinis are best.

They want to be wed.
Two men in a nursing home.
Their children object.

Is it immoral?
I suppose it all Depends.
That is what they wear.

I do not fear death
but withthe leisure of choice
it lost its appeal

question everything
mott the hoople, bell the cat
never give a inch

all bubbles must burst
pneumatic kardashians
not only lips sink

whip the haiku mule
move that creative burden
poetry, my ass

Creative output
Dwindles as you get older
Get your ass to work

incoherent rule
post-orgasmic lassitude
either way we're fucked

All these bad haiku.
And not one has made me puke.
I'm disappointed.

zippy the pinhead
the nation's prime minister
there's not much in it

it makes me worried
when i look at my country
ruled by imbeciles

What do Disney Land,
Walmart, and a coke addict
all have in common?

I like killing flies.
To this end I do not bathe.
They come and I swat.

It's insanity
accepting that you are sane.
Thrown poo will splatter.

is it sanity
accepting that i'm crazy ?
as if it matters...

like my hair pattern
the winter is receding
and darkness is less

I wade through roses
wind swishing around my thighs
green grasshoppers buzz

There once was a man from Xanadu.
And he did not like to write haiku.
So he wrote a limerick.
And he hopes it makes you sick.
Just like you were eating some poo poo.

I've been wanking it.
For almost thirty-five year.
And it's still working.

well, fuck you capture
your pathetic tiny font
mocking my optics

all hail the blue sky
and plus one for cumuli
heavenly high five

So have you prepared?
It's the last great extinction.
What's in your stew pot?

There is no freedom.
Boundaries, borders, cages.
Com part mental eyes.

If you have two balls
and you take away two balls,
then what do you have?

One day God farted.
This event was the Big Bang.
Holy pinto beans.

All throughout the day
you must always ask yourself:
What would Darth Maul do?

Sun rise tomorrow
I will see it and wonder
Fucking Universe

My mom taught English.
Agustin English that is.
What an idiot.

Accept correction
Or else you won't get published
If that's what you want

Please accept the enclosed submission for consideration for publication

"Santorum latte!"
The Starbucks barista yelled.
No one even knew.

Ring Out Solstice Bells.
That is a Jethro Tull song.
Keep U2 down there.

the winter solstice
has finally come and gone
and not before time

Life is horrible.
It's worse when there's poetry.
Thus it is proven.

when the air outside
is half as warm as the surf
i shall call it cold

Sidney has winter?
What, like 50's and 60's?
Fahrenheit, of course.

Lord, stop your bitching.
It's hardly three feet of snow
and slick, icy roads.

sydney isn't cheap
but it is embarrassing
the pm is derp

I can't believe this.
I just farted a haiku.
Five, seven, five toots.

Ash, you need to move.
I recommend Hawaii.
But it's expensive.

Learn to live with less.
Then you'll find that you have more.
Oh, I am so deep.

speaking of seasons
fuck winter with a large rake
it deserves to die

Ride rainbow muskrat
Escape clutches of evil
Be superhero!

haiku my haiku
rise up and hear my poem
or buy boner pills

I need my coffee.
Or someone else's coffee.
I really don't care.

Well, I must confess,
I do, do that to doo doo.
Ahead of the times?

All men will do this.
Use their pee blast to clean poop
stuck on the toilet.

There will come a day.
Roving nano cameras
will replace porn sites.

I have a chicken.
I want to violate her.
The neighbors might see.

I saw a rainbow
On the day my grandma died.
Fuckin' lesbian!