Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

What is that sweet song?
The ronin had eaten beans.
Does your nose not work?
Haiku # 52783, July 29, 2015 6:37 pm ET
by DF
haiku sweet haiku
onanistic idiom
take us as we come
Haiku # 52782, July 29, 2015 3:09 am ET
by ash
I want to burn all
poems that begin with "I".
Self-centered garbage!
Haiku # 52781, July 28, 2015 10:20 pm ET
by DF
I don't remember.
Is your mom a jelly fish?
Maybe I was drunk.
Haiku # 52780, July 28, 2015 10:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The talking dog said,
"Darth Figpucker touched your mom,"
and then I woke up.
Haiku # 52779, July 28, 2015 9:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What did the dogs say?
Was it a symposium
on the Higgs boson?

We don't need numbers.
They can be represented
by spatial figures.

The operators
take on entirely new
whatchamacallits.

The thingy-ma-jigs
are brutally randomized
like your mom's boyfriends.
Haiku # 52778, July 28, 2015 5:23 pm ET
by DF
our moist tongues explore
then I wake, soaked on the lawn
your sprinklers are on
Haiku # 52777, July 28, 2015 3:20 pm ET
by vince
Howdy there stranger.
Want to hear about my dream?
It had talking dogs.
Haiku # 52776, July 28, 2015 12:59 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
night ends on a truce
we sleep by dying embers
and trade warmth for dreams
Haiku # 52775, July 27, 2015 4:44 pm ET
by vince
night ends on a truce
we sleep by dying embers and trade warmth for dreams
Haiku # 52774, July 27, 2015 4:41 pm ET
by vince
Ash, you crack me up.
Laughter's much needed these days.
Damn the government.
Haiku # 52773, July 26, 2015 1:57 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
trim my turbinates
ream my nasal ostia
do it till i bleed
Haiku # 52772, July 26, 2015 2:32 am ET
by ash
Cincinnati Reds
New York Knicks, Dallas Cowboys
Edmonton Oilers
Haiku # 52771, July 26, 2015 1:18 am ET
by Overpaid Atheletes
I understand, Ash.
I was also raped by the
school librarian.
Haiku # 52770, July 25, 2015 4:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Give away your stuff.
A computer and surfboard;
this is all you need.
Haiku # 52769, July 25, 2015 4:07 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
long words are okay
as they accurately paint
my recent trauma
Haiku # 52768, July 25, 2015 12:33 am ET
by ash
The use of large words
do not make for good haiku;
simplicity's lost.

And I'm forced to use
the Google dictionary.
Septoplasty porn!

Damn your big vocab.!
Some things cannot be unseen.
It's all your fault, ash!
Haiku # 52767, July 24, 2015 2:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
so predictably
the pain of septoplasty
is nostril dharma
Haiku # 52766, July 23, 2015 8:08 pm ET
by ash
rotten ocean air
wafting like old walrus farts
assaulting nostrils
Haiku # 52765, July 23, 2015 1:13 am ET
by Grontor
Mad men make moonshine
Sad sisters selling sunshine
Bad beatnik bongos
Haiku # 52764, July 22, 2015 11:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
This ain't calculus.
Food is neither tangential
nor is it for thought.

Please focus your mind.
Find meaning in the chaos.
You will see it's there.

Post pics of you wife
in her bra and underwear
then get back to me.
Haiku # 52763, July 21, 2015 2:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
it isn't just me
says clang association
isn't poetry

in australia
psychiatrists might compare
echolalia

but is this valid ?
or tangential food for thought
eat my word salad
Haiku # 52762, July 21, 2015 10:21 am ET
by ash
I'm sublime in grime.
Give a dime to the lime mime.
It's no crime to rhyme.

(But it should be.)

Climb slime prime-time chime
"Parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme."
El-Garfunk On-Sim.
Haiku # 52761, July 20, 2015 10:35 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of "evi1 - a novel about you" and your momma too
if rhymes go askew
honourable thing to do
haiku seppuku
Haiku # 52760, July 20, 2015 9:50 am ET
by ash
Now don't you forget
Rhyming can lead to regret
Making you upset
Haiku # 52759, July 20, 2015 12:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet

Clients are why does photos viagra work for men their local local. In instance, there are so many ancestors for main italia cialis prescription price and benefits generico to exert from.
Haiku # 52758, July 19, 2015 8:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
Should my Haiku rhyme
Yes if I just had the time
I could make it rhyme
Haiku # 52757, July 18, 2015 11:05 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
God does not love you.
Do not pretend to love God;
He will hate you more.
Haiku # 52756, July 17, 2015 8:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
roasted polar bear
with a side of spotted owl
My favorite meal!
Haiku # 52755, July 17, 2015 6:15 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
International
pig-fucking competition
concession stand snacks.

Chitlins are nasty
but so are the contestants.
Can I get mayo?
Haiku # 52754, July 17, 2015 4:38 pm ET
by df of over your head
Were you expecting
that polar bears would survive
man-made extinction?!
Haiku # 52753, July 17, 2015 12:38 pm ET
by df
Polar bears vanish.
Forest fires. Record heat waves
Dead bees on my porch.
Haiku # 52752, July 17, 2015 12:39 am ET
by Tired of it all
What's more disturbing
than pregnant retarded girls?
I am at a loss.
Haiku # 52751, July 16, 2015 4:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Here's the solution.
We must kill all the people.
We'll have lots of food.

Start with Africa.
Then, of course, we'll hit China.
And then India.

The problem is solved.
Now go write a bad haiku
about politics.
Haiku # 52750, July 16, 2015 4:10 pm ET
by df
You had enough words
to write a proper haiku
yet failed to make it
Haiku # 52749, July 16, 2015 12:45 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
We have enough food
to feed all of the people
and yet some starve
Haiku # 52748, July 15, 2015 10:05 pm ET
by Tired of it all
But I love mornings.
I also wish you were drunk.
Then I could fuck you.
Haiku # 52747, July 15, 2015 7:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I hate mornings.
I wish I was drunk.
Fuck.
Haiku # 52746, July 15, 2015 2:12 pm ET
by Sherman of mexico
She is like hot pants
freshly out of the dryer
on winter morning
Haiku # 52745, July 15, 2015 12:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Success, more or less,
is difficult to express
making me depressed
Haiku # 52744, July 14, 2015 12:50 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Shit-covered dildo.
Maggots in your underwear.
Arby's sandwiches.
Haiku # 52743, July 13, 2015 3:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I like ping-pong games.
I once saw one in Thailand.
That girl could work it!

She wasn't impressed
When I had shot the ball back.
Jealous lady-boys.
Haiku # 52742, July 13, 2015 2:05 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I say one haiku
I hope to hear one response
Haiku ping pong game
Haiku # 52741, July 13, 2015 11:43 am ET
by ronin
I write badder but
The era of literacy
Is all about code
Haiku # 52740, July 13, 2015 11:29 am ET
by ronin
Jarred starts and ends
his sandwich-eating career
getting in small pants.
Haiku # 52739, July 13, 2015 10:39 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Men who eat pussy
Are known as pussy-eaters.
Or just lesbians.
Haiku # 52738, July 13, 2015 10:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
So if she know the
Websites grow old regulars stale
Like a pub crawls down
Haiku # 52737, July 13, 2015 1:56 am ET
by ronin
The Harmonica:
A musical instrument.
Window to the soul.
Haiku # 52736, July 12, 2015 11:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
put it in my butt
butt put it in my butt butt
putt it in right now
Haiku # 52735, July 11, 2015 1:12 pm ET
by missecho
I have what it takes
to become a poop eater
Yes, I have my dreams!
Haiku # 52734, July 11, 2015 3:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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