Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

idiots in charge
but i didn't vote for them
it's a shit sandwich
Haiku # 52847, August 25, 2015 9:52 am ET
by ash
I shart politics
give me something I can eat
then post and repeat
Haiku # 52846, August 23, 2015 4:37 am ET
by Last Bastion of Freedom
sunshine and moonbeams
republicans and drag queens
media extremes
Haiku # 52845, August 23, 2015 2:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Plea deal:
While he's in prison
he can still get free foot longs
with extra mayo.
Haiku # 52844, August 22, 2015 6:39 am ET
by DF
Jared starts and ends
career the exact same way:
getting in small pants.
Haiku # 52843, August 22, 2015 6:35 am ET
by Darth Figpucker, the Highly Inappropriate
Jared go to jail
Trading cookies for nookie
That is not right bro
Haiku # 52842, August 22, 2015 12:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It does not exist
Not even farts in the wind
No, not even this
Haiku # 52841, August 21, 2015 10:39 pm ET
by Garth Bigpucker
It does not matter.
In fact, nothing ever has.
No, not even that.
Haiku # 52840, August 21, 2015 2:15 pm ET
by DF
i do not blame you
i don't even blame the shark
those fish are flakey
Haiku # 52839, August 21, 2015 8:38 am ET
by ash
Starship Enterprise
Piloted by Polar Bears
Our future awaits
Haiku # 52838, August 20, 2015 9:20 pm ET
by Kitty Pause
write me a haiku?
i see now why you didn't
'cuz you suck at it
Haiku # 52837, August 20, 2015 6:17 pm ET
by pcharming of over here
Blame me if you please.
Your friend's bro's death is my fault.
Me and my foul bum.
Haiku # 52836, August 20, 2015 12:41 pm ET
by DF
You are ignorant.
I mean "man" in general.
"We" have over-fished.

Or....

Maybe sharks are mad
because I fart in the sea
when I go swimming.
Haiku # 52835, August 20, 2015 12:36 pm ET
by DF
you are ignorant
sharks don't eat abalone
he was a diver
Haiku # 52834, August 20, 2015 11:28 am ET
by ash
Janis is lazy.
She does not remove the spam.
I want a refund.
Haiku # 52833, August 20, 2015 10:13 am ET
by DF
It is only right.
We eat up all the sharks' food.
So the sharks eat us.
Haiku # 52832, August 20, 2015 10:11 am ET
by DF
eaten by a shark
happened to my friend's brother
it was great (the shark)
Haiku # 52831, August 20, 2015 9:18 am ET
by ash
Flying like a bird
Pooping anywhere one wants
Liberty defined
Haiku # 52830, August 20, 2015 12:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Eaten by a shark.
What an awesome way to die.
I could live with that.
Haiku # 52823, August 18, 2015 11:22 am ET
by DF
They who roost in chats
Creating exclusive little
Clubs of fetishes
Haiku # 52822, August 17, 2015 10:03 pm ET
by ronin
There once was a square.
All its angles were equal.
The same for its sides.

Then it went crazy.
It killed all the other squares.
And danced in their blood.
Haiku # 52821, August 17, 2015 4:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
eye repeat myself
ewe are reading my non cents
sorry, I waste thyme
Haiku # 52820, August 15, 2015 5:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
you all are cowards
or maybe sleeping right now
we can still be friends
Haiku # 52819, August 15, 2015 5:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
eye found my posting
informative and useful
visit my web sight
Haiku # 52818, August 15, 2015 3:00 am ET
by Fran Drescher Ricola
howdy there sexy
can we play tic tac toe tags?
i get to go first
Haiku # 52817, August 15, 2015 2:48 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
Stick hand in bear cave.
End up with hairy girlfriend.
You should not do that.
Haiku # 52815, August 13, 2015 7:48 pm ET
by DF
He's pounding his pund,
organizing his organ,
grinding the monkey.
Haiku # 52813, August 11, 2015 11:35 am ET
by DF
churning bad haiku
parkinsonian poet
punding syllables
Haiku # 52812, August 11, 2015 7:31 am ET
by ash
bees made of bonbons
tarantulas made of tarts
wasps made of wontons
Haiku # 52811, August 10, 2015 9:39 pm ET
by Mad Chef of Cafeteriastan
Non-GMO food.
BBQ potato chips.
Organic Cheetos.
Haiku # 52810, August 10, 2015 8:18 am ET
by DF -- The reincarnation of Ponce de Leon of The fountain of youth needs a plumber.
Stick hand in bear cave
End up with a bloody stump
You should not do that!
Haiku # 52809, August 10, 2015 1:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Gather night crawlers.
Do not cultivate tape worms.
You deracinist!
Haiku # 52808, August 9, 2015 12:01 pm ET
by Go Fishing of Huck Finn's favorite spot.
without bad haiku
as if from fertile night-soil
deracinated
Haiku # 52807, August 8, 2015 7:25 am ET
by ash
no more letter i
we must eliminate it
also capital$
Haiku # 52806, August 8, 2015 3:33 am ET
by Hip Youngster of a a desired demographic
emotion discharge
will make you feel much better
do it here and now
Haiku # 52805, August 8, 2015 1:36 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
With each breath you take
you suck in one of my farts.
Ain't chemistry great?!

... Well, not a whole fart,
but thousands of molecules
that were in my farts.

Science is awesome!
I even get paid for this.
I'm a dirty whore.
Haiku # 52804, August 7, 2015 9:20 pm ET
by Homogeous mixture.
why do we play with
fire in some time periods
and get all peachy

gee whizzy, gluten
free in the next one? is it
irony is dull?
Haiku # 52803, August 7, 2015 3:06 pm ET
by ronin
words just spill out on
years of keeping them trapped in
bukokski's sickness
Haiku # 52802, August 7, 2015 2:48 pm ET
by ronin
we weave a web with
the words wandering where why
wonders, wasting time
Haiku # 52801, August 7, 2015 2:44 pm ET
by ronin
Mystery is solved.
So that's how I got pregnant...
by sniffing your farts.
Haiku # 52800, August 7, 2015 1:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm afraid my work
Will be rehashes of some
Book I'm reading...word
Haiku # 52799, August 7, 2015 12:18 pm ET
by ronin
I wish I could write as
Well as you all, but my star
Fell to Earth, wasted.
Haiku # 52798, August 7, 2015 12:01 pm ET
by ronin
Fart Haiku #1538
My farts rape your nose.
Penetrate and violate.
Perhaps impregnate.
Haiku # 52797, August 7, 2015 10:59 am ET
by The other half composted IN the toilet!
Here is a theory:
More than half of these haiku
composed on toilet
Haiku # 52796, August 7, 2015 1:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pick them by their hair.
Or pick them by skin color.
Or pick them by how beautiful and/or large their genitalia are, in fact that should be a requirement, and we need a constitutional amendment saying that all public officials must have starred in at least 3 popular porn movies before being allowed to take office.
Haiku # 52795, August 6, 2015 10:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
These are modern times!
Pick your leaders by hair style.
Make sure your vote counts

Haiku # 52794, August 5, 2015 9:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What is there to say?
You need meaning in your life?
Then get off the net!
Haiku # 52793, August 5, 2015 9:53 am ET
by DF's cat Scratchy of Peeing on your patio furniture.
Kill kill kill kill kill
Everybody kill kill
Then cha-cha and nap
Haiku # 52792, August 3, 2015 6:41 pm ET
by Manson-Lopez of My head
Empty testicles.
Small erection rejected.
Try to snip it off.
Haiku # 52791, August 3, 2015 5:34 pm ET
by Kaitlyn Jenner
Empty beer bottles
Application rejected
Try to sleep it off
Haiku # 52790, August 3, 2015 2:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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