Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

If you two would quit
This place would finally die
Except for spammers
Haiku # 53616, April 2, 2016 6:16 pm ET
by Eye in the Sky
but there it is a
bit of overdose on what
apathy, it was

variety once, we
gotta clean up then we can
party hardy boy...
Haiku # 53615, April 1, 2016 2:21 pm ET
by vhs
it's too easy to
give up and join the dance i
am designed to fight
Haiku # 53614, April 1, 2016 2:20 pm ET
by vhs
i go to work, i
see people come and go and
each day is this well

episode, that just
becomes the next "chapter" in
my past, just a click
Haiku # 53613, April 1, 2016 2:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of vhs
some people have their cats
dying and it's all they have
and that last bit of

love goes away and
where are those people when that
loved animal dies?
Haiku # 53612, April 1, 2016 2:17 pm ET
by vhs of the cappatcha was DEAD STOP
Holy fucking shit.
No way I'll read all of that.
I do it for fun.

Simpletons and whores.
They're out there enjoying life.
And look what we do.

What a sad, sad state,
my brother in misery.
Throw away your pen.

Liberate yourself.
Wallow in the mud and sing,
drink and fornicate!
Haiku # 53611, April 1, 2016 12:27 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
what the hell was i
thinking letting all this just
get to me, poems

just poems...
Haiku # 53610, April 1, 2016 11:10 am ET
by vhs
what will you do in
the belly of the Beast for three
days and nights, digest?

or reflect?
Haiku # 53609, April 1, 2016 12:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i will stuff you in
my mouth and swallow you
shall i be the whale

or shall i be
Behemoth typing away
The Goetia
Haiku # 53608, April 1, 2016 12:01 am ET
by vhs
i get bored of this
and wish i could forget it
eventually i will

what about you, why
have you posted here all these
years, no one listening

just a lot of spam
no other voices to answer you
just a pic paste

by the way, bukowski,
read Factotum
Haiku # 53607, March 31, 2016 11:59 pm ET
by vhs
it wasn't easy
to lose someone pretty close
but you'd say it was

dumb to post it here
and it is natural for strangers
on chats to be just

cold looking for a
reaction i guess you
guys really don't value

life at all...seriously
Haiku # 53606, March 31, 2016 11:56 pm ET
by vhs
there...I've done it, now
i doubt it will do any
good at all but i

asked a christian site
to pray for this website, i guess
I was really upset
Haiku # 53605, March 31, 2016 11:51 pm ET
by vhs
i wonder what will
happen if i ask for prayer for
this place and ask for

things to be cast out?
there's a lot of hatred in me
too, this is not good
Haiku # 53604, March 31, 2016 11:47 pm ET
by vhs
i do not like to
answer you, i want to move on
but my anger to just

see provocations i
should just ignore, maybe i think
i will say something

and i will hear nothing
Haiku # 53603, March 31, 2016 11:40 pm ET
by vhs
Bukowski of course smiles
for writing was a sickness for
him, he could give two

shits about here, he was
just on his lonesome till some
guy noticed his life
Haiku # 53602, March 31, 2016 11:38 pm ET
by vhs
it feeds itself, like
the election cycle, the
drama of net jams

it's the same thing, a
performance of pestilence
and survival games
Haiku # 53601, March 31, 2016 11:34 pm ET
by vhs
you are no John Galt
and you are no Hank Rearden
it is the style...let's

face it, writers are
often assholes, self absorbed
they do us a favor

when they make the choice
Hunter or Hemmingway did
although their deaths were

tragedies, i don't think
ego trips on bboards are
worth regarding as

lives worthy of regard
Haiku # 53600, March 31, 2016 11:32 pm ET
by vhs
the nerds who make a
god damned talumudic discussion
about Batman and Superman

fighting in a movie
shit that might be cool but i
guarantee you will be there
Haiku # 53599, March 31, 2016 11:29 pm ET
by vhs
and the rules, the rules
the nerds and their little nerd
fest, their Ain't it cool

news, their I am
angry at the director that
i am 400 pounds

naked, eating cheetos
(ron white) and not quite haiku
still going. who's next
Haiku # 53598, March 31, 2016 11:27 pm ET
by vhs
i wonder if we
can write death poems fighting
with words of black soul

perhaps alister
crowley needs to be dug up and
the Great Whore needs

to ride you one more time
Haiku # 53597, March 31, 2016 11:26 pm ET
by vhs
i will keep going
until you pray to the Gods for
my eternal silence

your Gods are false, your
Gods are in the mirror, i
don't want to be, i

Know, i already am
Haiku # 53596, March 31, 2016 11:24 pm ET
by vhs
do not quote others
it is your toilet paper
it should be your shit

probably would be
nicer way of putting it
but hey, so it goes
Haiku # 53595, March 31, 2016 9:31 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
Jacked off something fierce.
Watching "Elmo in Grouchland".
With new invention.

Riches await me.
Fused Fleshlight and Elmo doll.
"You're getting so big!"
Haiku # 53594, March 31, 2016 9:25 pm ET
by iamback of vhs's house taking turns.
Creatures in the pit,
better companions than you
and they make less noise.

Leeches on my balls
are slightly more annoying
but they do not lie.

Mosquitoes and fleas,
viruses and STDs.
All preferable.

Their conversation
is much more enlightening
than armchair poets.

Referencing has-beens
does not elevate one from
wannabe status.

Accusatory
hyper-masturbatory
the same old story.

Sucking history
Parasitic on the past
never progressing.
Haiku # 53593, March 31, 2016 5:31 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker has had enough of sub-mediocrity.
park here and dry up
you are lonely, be lonely
ring the bells hunchback
Haiku # 53592, March 31, 2016 1:34 pm ET
by vhs
basically trolls are
harmless and only the "power"
we give them like the

proverbial swine in
the bible, concerning pearls
will be trampled which is

what trolls are. it is
a bar, an alley, don't go there
leave a message

and move on
Haiku # 53591, March 31, 2016 1:08 pm ET
by vhs
but beteeen you and
me if i said i hate Trump then
you just might vote him

into office. why
does he think the art of the
deal will work in the

long run.
Haiku # 53590, March 31, 2016 12:57 pm ET
by vhs
it wouldn't matter
who it is, you'd trash them too
if not me, someone

else would get your troll
speak, i imagine you'd be
lonely if it stopped
Haiku # 53589, March 31, 2016 12:55 pm ET
by vhs
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Haiku # 53588, March 31, 2016 6:08 am ET
by Emily of San Jose
It's time for baked beans.
Caramelized sugary
with bacon and spice.
Haiku # 53587, March 31, 2016 1:43 am ET
by Darth Figpucker's Afternoon Snack
I prefer the spam
over vhs whining
like a little bitch.

Burroughs sucks my ass.
Bukowski sucks your moms ass.
Never read either.

If I never read
their SHIT, then how do I know
that they suck much ass?

vhs likes it!
If he likes it, it's not good.
Just like Life's Mikey.
Haiku # 53586, March 31, 2016 1:37 am ET
by Darth Figpucker promoting the wisdom of breakfast cereal commercials.
if i do play the
silent rush and just say fuck you
and remain silent

my right, i think you'll
just go on and on forever
why i do not know
Haiku # 53578, March 30, 2016 3:50 pm ET
by vhs
hmm burroughs cut up
machine, spitting out scams, spams
and Hi! I am from Pakistan
Haiku # 53577, March 30, 2016 3:44 pm ET
by vhs
Rock, paper, scissors.
The fist slaps the palm three times.
Show me what you got.
Haiku # 53573, March 30, 2016 7:44 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Hello!
Haiku # 53569, March 30, 2016 2:27 am ET
by wpiyerwo of USA
petrified dog dung
hammock improperly hung
ladder missing rung
Haiku # 53568, March 29, 2016 9:30 pm ET
by Crap in my back yard
what does it mean
Haiku # 53566, March 29, 2016 1:27 pm ET
by Ding
He died just for me.
And that means for me alone.
You others will burn.

Burn deep in Hell's pits!
The BBQ pits of hell!
Roasted like a pig.

You will be juicy.
Jesus and I will eat you.
Your souls will be sauce.

I believe all this.
I mean it, I really do.
Satan's a good cook.
Haiku # 53563, March 28, 2016 11:09 pm ET
by Darth Yummy Yum Figpucker
i will add he died
for assholes like you but death
comes for all of us
Haiku # 53562, March 28, 2016 12:30 pm ET
by vhs
Oh, it was Easter.
Did you find all of your eggs?
And candy rabbits?

Would He sit with you?
Would He eat your Easter ham?
Do you have a soul?

Somehow I picture Jesus pulling the nails out of his hands and driving them into the Holy Day Pig's Ass to ensure even cooking temperature throughout the hunk of swine flesh, consistently roasted and honey-glazed perhaps with pineapple so that you can get into Heaven and sit before The Father upon your earthly demise whereupon you will gorge yourself on Kosher bacon cheese burgers, fluorescent fowl's embryo, and cacao leporidae. Praise His Name!
Haiku # 53561, March 28, 2016 6:17 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of I am such an asshole.
Never disappoints
Stunning collection of nuts
Magical thrill ride
Haiku # 53560, March 28, 2016 1:30 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
heaven and hell, well
oh well, ronnie james dio
tis a black sabbath

happy easter
Haiku # 53559, March 27, 2016 8:17 am ET
by vhs of we can't rewind, we've gone too far
People who have AIDS.
White men in Asian airports.
Girls in Pattaya.

Sharing is caring.
if you can't be with your love,
love the one you're with.

Or if your wife has gotten so ridiculously fat that you don't want to have sex with her any more and want to escape to some island paradise with Mai-Tais, Gin-and-tonics, rum-and-cokes, funny drinks with umbrellas as if they are afraid of rain and/or sunburns, and marijuana, and bikini girls who you can rent for $500 per week and the only crime they have is writing bad haiku. Yes, that would be heaven. Or hell. Or both.
Haiku # 53558, March 27, 2016 1:46 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Damn all these spammers!
"Jan-Ass The Hutt" is sleeping;
She needs Boba Fett.

I'm not enlightened.
Iamback, tell your story.
Why the taunts and jibes?

What evil was done?
What was done to fuel your hate?
I must know these things.

Can it fuel space ships?
Hyper-drives run on hatred.
Now that's cool sci-fi.
Haiku # 53557, March 27, 2016 1:30 am ET
by Darth Figpucker.
no more but also
not less. It is in total
equilibrium
Haiku # 53556, March 26, 2016 6:15 pm ET
by tarikja
I just don't get it.
iamback confuses me.
Why's he hate others?

Who is Darth Gardar?
Why are there gay wedding taunts?
Why does my ass burn?

Damn Manila whores!
Shouldn't let her lick my ass.
Time to get a shot.

I think it was "she".
But maybe it was a "he".
I was really drunk.
Haiku # 53547, March 25, 2016 3:02 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
April approaches
expectations rise like plant
underwhelming them
Haiku # 53546, March 24, 2016 1:42 pm ET
by tarikja
pretty prose prances
alliterative attack
ruggedly repelled
Haiku # 53541, March 24, 2016 12:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Satin syllables
slowly slather swimmingly
secretly softly
Haiku # 53540, March 23, 2016 11:49 pm ET
by Betty LeBomb
did bukowski want
his dirty old man title
back from you DF?
Haiku # 53539, March 23, 2016 10:56 pm ET
by vhs
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