Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Do the polite thing.
Please give Bill a reach-around.
Though he won't for you.
Haiku # 53934, June 21, 2016 3:30 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
despite STDs
i'd fuck WJC
'til the cow comes home
Haiku # 53933, June 20, 2016 10:31 pm ET
by Lush of Hilary's ShitList
please make my breath stink
as "hail to the chief" plays on
then analingus
Haiku # 53932, June 20, 2016 10:27 pm ET
by Lush of The Oval Orifice
Some men fuck chickens.
Thus they're called chicken fuckers.
Yet they don't approve.
Haiku # 53931, June 18, 2016 7:33 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
I should not write this.
But, of course, you know I will.
See, now it is done.
Haiku # 53929, June 17, 2016 8:35 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
What an honor!
Presidential scrotal sweat!
Please bang my wife next.
Haiku # 53928, June 17, 2016 3:49 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
My balls are stinky.
I wiped them on her pillow.
Will her husband know?
Haiku # 53927, June 17, 2016 2:22 am ET
by President Bill Clinton
A car is a wheeled, self-propelled motor vehicle used for transporting and a product of the automotive industry.
Haiku # 53926, June 17, 2016 1:13 am ET
by Benz Patent of NY
Awesome page you want someone, may also employ one, end up long term additional memory in life. I Love SUVs
Haiku # 53925, June 17, 2016 12:59 am ET
by SUVs Lover of https://plus.google.com/u/0/116015602465613220713/posts
I have to save cash.
So this means no prostitutes.
Mom, please send money.
Haiku # 53924, June 16, 2016 11:08 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
oh it all started
with the arpanet and the
end of history

which is, history
Haiku # 53920, June 16, 2016 12:25 pm ET
by vhs
Do not be ashamed.
The internet is for porn.
The muppets know this.

Google image search:
Hillary Clinton's fat ass.
I am so turned on.
Haiku # 53919, June 15, 2016 11:12 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Flatulent old toad.
Bloated with methane swamp gas.
He farts from both ends.

Haiku # 53918, June 15, 2016 5:59 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
My zipper opens,
revealing more about me
than I would care to.
Haiku # 53917, June 15, 2016 5:45 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
the browser opens
revealing more about me
than the internet
Haiku # 53916, June 15, 2016 8:03 am ET
by ash
Flatulence reverb
whilst in the surfing line-up.
Those in ear-shot laugh.

The thump is deeper.
Fiberglass amplifies bass.
The sharks stay away.
Haiku # 53914, June 15, 2016 1:41 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Hello!
Haiku # 53912, June 14, 2016 5:52 pm ET
by otwptyey of USA
He sells pricey coffee.
Yuppies love when he says "cheers".
It's not wrong to hate.
Haiku # 53911, June 14, 2016 12:05 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
and if or but these
days fear rules the waves and eats
the electorate
Haiku # 53909, June 14, 2016 8:50 am ET
by vhs
so it goes he said
but he saw dresden burn and
wondered why he lived...
Haiku # 53907, June 13, 2016 12:16 pm ET
by vhs
Vonnegut is dead
His words are all that remains
"So it goes" they say
Haiku # 53904, June 12, 2016 1:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
A butterfly shat
on the imported taco
of Donald Trump's wife.

She washed it right down
with cheap generic vodka
and belched quite loudly.

Her boyfriend stopped by
and they had sex all night long
while Donald just snored.
Haiku # 53903, June 11, 2016 11:00 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I recall stealing
Playboys from the Get-N-Go
when I was a lad.

Many a fond wank
was to be had in those days.
Now, goat porn dot com.
Haiku # 53901, June 11, 2016 4:39 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
They want their ipads.
We wanted our MTV.
What was before that?
Haiku # 53900, June 11, 2016 11:53 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Lays potato chips.
Monster trucks and drag racing.
Weaponized herpes.
Haiku # 53899, June 10, 2016 3:44 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Going for a beer.
I'll write a dirty haiku,
just for the waitress.

I'll keep you posted.
Jut please do not tell my wife.
She would be angry.

She hates me enough.
Lets not give her more reason.
On the other hand...

Who gives a rats ass.
Damned if I do or do not.
That waitress is hot!
Haiku # 53898, June 10, 2016 4:17 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
The dog licked himself.
And he was rather content.
Could you say the same?

Haiku Subtlety
is pointless on this website
so I'll spell it out.

So you can feel good,
If you need an audience,
the dog has you beat.

Go write some haiku
and flush them down the toilet.
That is your homework.
Haiku # 53897, June 10, 2016 4:13 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
The greatest boxer
was not Ali, but Jim Jones.
One punch killed hundreds.
Haiku # 53895, June 9, 2016 11:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i wonder if the
spam ads count as part of the
art of this website
Haiku # 53894, June 9, 2016 11:54 am ET
by vhs
Jane Goodall is mean.
She taught Chimps to use dildos.
And then sign "I came".
Haiku # 53893, June 9, 2016 11:50 am ET
by darth figpucker
I must appreciate the way you have expressed your feelingsthrough your blog!. Click here to play.
vertix.io | dog games | fighting games | mickey mouse games | Subway Surfers
Haiku # 53892, June 7, 2016 10:58 pm ET
by vertix.io of ha noi
have a drink for me
i spent too much money on
a used car repair
Haiku # 53891, June 7, 2016 2:36 pm ET
by vhs
I did my own thing.
Better than her doing it.
My thing is happy.
Haiku # 53890, June 7, 2016 8:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
final syllable
in last abomination
should've read as "stench"
Haiku # 53889, June 6, 2016 8:30 pm ET
by Lush of Steno Pool
filthy signature
calligraphic turd emblem
witnesseth the smell
Haiku # 53888, June 6, 2016 8:25 pm ET
by Lush
coprophilia
brown love dare not speak its name
reduced to signing


Haiku # 53887, June 6, 2016 8:22 pm ET
by Lush
the upstream feces
an ineluctable force
woe is the downstream
Haiku # 53886, June 6, 2016 8:20 pm ET
by Lush
falling overboard
nude with a turtlin' dookie
ahoy down below
Haiku # 53885, June 6, 2016 8:19 pm ET
by Lush
do i go along with
the joke and respond or do
i do my own thing??????
Haiku # 53884, June 6, 2016 11:57 am ET
by vhs
My wife is too fat.
I don't want to fuck her now.
What am I to do?
Haiku # 53883, June 6, 2016 6:03 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
i had a poem
on my mind but now it slips
what i was to say
Haiku # 53882, June 5, 2016 3:36 pm ET
by vhs
Rio De Janeiro
Filthy rotten trash cesspool
Lets go for a swim
Haiku # 53881, June 5, 2016 12:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
pour some sugar on
def leppard waits to hear the
sarcasm fly out
Haiku # 53879, June 3, 2016 12:29 pm ET
by vhs
Coffee enima.
Do you take cream and sugar?
That one lump or two?
Haiku # 53878, June 1, 2016 3:17 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
i drink coffee and
i drink more coffee and then
write stuff about it
Haiku # 53877, June 1, 2016 12:49 pm ET
by vhs of well it said 'bad haiku' this is pretty bad
There is a spider
I opened up my asshole
It crawled right inside
Haiku # 53876, May 31, 2016 11:19 am ET
by filthy-nard
I don't have any eyes
Accidentally ate glass
Now I have no tongue
Haiku # 53875, May 31, 2016 11:18 am ET
by filthy-nard of MY SKIIIIINNNN
I'd lose a finger
to lose the ring that's attached
and free my penis.

That's spontaneous.
I don't know where that came from.
Or maybe I do.

Priorities suck.
Sacrifices FOR children.
Not like Abraham.
Haiku # 53874, May 30, 2016 6:15 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Except for one ring,
I am completely naked
reading about poop.

Pooping in buckets.
So, like, where else would one poop
if not in a bucket?

Since you're getting old,
put it on your bucket list.
Call it a shit list.

I'm glad I'm naked
in an electric fan breeze
blowing on my balls.
Haiku # 53873, May 30, 2016 6:09 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
how the hell can one
take a health clinic serious
if there's "mayo" in

the name of the place
fat on sandwiches reducing
chance at ill health?
Haiku # 53872, May 30, 2016 12:26 pm ET
by vhs
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