Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

i miss gen x but
kurt cobain is dead and there's
a zeitgeist shift when

some voice passes on
others have to take their place
who will replace you?

Haiku # 53958, June 26, 2016 12:45 pm ET
by vhs
ego likes to talk
it lacks insight then it dies
what else to say here
Haiku # 53957, June 26, 2016 12:43 pm ET
by vhs
I am obnoxious.
That is an understatement
Poetry is dumb.
Haiku # 53956, June 26, 2016 7:15 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of The High Vogon Poetry Counsel
"Is she a squirter?"
Vaginal detonation,
what it should be called.
Haiku # 53955, June 26, 2016 6:53 am ET
by df
Marital hindrance.
Double arrow insertion.
Fucking molecules!
Haiku # 53954, June 26, 2016 6:51 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Saturday night blues
It's not something I would choose
Can't even drink booze
Haiku # 53953, June 26, 2016 2:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I tried MMA
It did not go very well
Got my ass kicked bad
Haiku # 53952, June 26, 2016 2:31 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I need a jet pack.
But Amazon or Ebay?
What do you suggest?
Haiku # 53951, June 26, 2016 1:50 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Christ, you're a pussy.
A whiny little bitch-boy.
Go get a sex change.

On the other hand,
To expect more from poets,
That is just stupid.

To man the fuck up,
it is just not possible,
not for a poet.
Haiku # 53950, June 26, 2016 1:44 am ET
by df
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Haiku # 53949, June 25, 2016 2:15 pm ET
by David of New York, NY
one man takes over
a haiku website and ads
and i post here too
Haiku # 53948, June 25, 2016 1:41 pm ET
by vhs
I have your child.
But that's the way life goes, Ace.
I'll name him Barrack.

Yours,
Amy
Haiku # 53947, June 24, 2016 9:08 pm ET
by Amy the Whore
This is for a girl I slept with who didn't tell me she was dating my best friend. No one speaks to her anymore.

Amy, a raging whore.
Lying on back with legs spread.
You are not missed.
Haiku # 53946, June 24, 2016 7:15 pm ET
by Ace of Louisville KY
Customers file in
Mop, stock, check, and sell crack pipes
Convenience store blues
Haiku # 53943, June 23, 2016 6:11 pm ET
by Partial Recall of USA
This is a small font.
You can barely make it out.
Ha ha fucking ha.
Haiku # 53942, June 23, 2016 6:40 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
My wife is too fat.
Some young stud take her from me.
I'll make it worth it.
Haiku # 53941, June 23, 2016 6:36 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
So much work to do.
And see what I am doing.
I should be fired.
Haiku # 53940, June 22, 2016 10:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Vector curvature.
Unit tangent binormal.
huh huh; "binormal".

Yeah, yeah, that was cool.
Heh heh, and you said "unit".
Boi-oi-oi-oi-oinng!
Haiku # 53938, June 21, 2016 6:20 pm ET
by Beavis and Butthead
measured charisma
engorged, targeted chasm
finessed curvature
Haiku # 53937, June 21, 2016 5:16 am ET
by Lush
a past commander
penetrating hot targets
has my surrender
Haiku # 53936, June 21, 2016 5:08 am ET
by Lush
Reciprocity
though quaint enough a concept
needn't apply here
Haiku # 53935, June 21, 2016 5:06 am ET
by Lush
Do the polite thing.
Please give Bill a reach-around.
Though he won't for you.
Haiku # 53934, June 21, 2016 3:30 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
despite STDs
i'd fuck WJC
'til the cow comes home
Haiku # 53933, June 20, 2016 10:31 pm ET
by Lush of Hilary's ShitList
please make my breath stink
as "hail to the chief" plays on
then analingus
Haiku # 53932, June 20, 2016 10:27 pm ET
by Lush of The Oval Orifice
Some men fuck chickens.
Thus they're called chicken fuckers.
Yet they don't approve.
Haiku # 53931, June 18, 2016 7:33 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
I should not write this.
But, of course, you know I will.
See, now it is done.
Haiku # 53929, June 17, 2016 8:35 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
What an honor!
Presidential scrotal sweat!
Please bang my wife next.
Haiku # 53928, June 17, 2016 3:49 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
My balls are stinky.
I wiped them on her pillow.
Will her husband know?
Haiku # 53927, June 17, 2016 2:22 am ET
by President Bill Clinton
A car is a wheeled, self-propelled motor vehicle used for transporting and a product of the automotive industry.
Haiku # 53926, June 17, 2016 1:13 am ET
by Benz Patent of NY
Awesome page you want someone, may also employ one, end up long term additional memory in life. I Love SUVs
Haiku # 53925, June 17, 2016 12:59 am ET
by SUVs Lover of https://plus.google.com/u/0/116015602465613220713/posts
I have to save cash.
So this means no prostitutes.
Mom, please send money.
Haiku # 53924, June 16, 2016 11:08 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
oh it all started
with the arpanet and the
end of history

which is, history
Haiku # 53920, June 16, 2016 12:25 pm ET
by vhs
Do not be ashamed.
The internet is for porn.
The muppets know this.

Google image search:
Hillary Clinton's fat ass.
I am so turned on.
Haiku # 53919, June 15, 2016 11:12 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Flatulent old toad.
Bloated with methane swamp gas.
He farts from both ends.

Haiku # 53918, June 15, 2016 5:59 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
My zipper opens,
revealing more about me
than I would care to.
Haiku # 53917, June 15, 2016 5:45 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
the browser opens
revealing more about me
than the internet
Haiku # 53916, June 15, 2016 8:03 am ET
by ash
Flatulence reverb
whilst in the surfing line-up.
Those in ear-shot laugh.

The thump is deeper.
Fiberglass amplifies bass.
The sharks stay away.
Haiku # 53914, June 15, 2016 1:41 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Hello!
Haiku # 53912, June 14, 2016 5:52 pm ET
by otwptyey of USA
He sells pricey coffee.
Yuppies love when he says "cheers".
It's not wrong to hate.
Haiku # 53911, June 14, 2016 12:05 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
and if or but these
days fear rules the waves and eats
the electorate
Haiku # 53909, June 14, 2016 8:50 am ET
by vhs
so it goes he said
but he saw dresden burn and
wondered why he lived...
Haiku # 53907, June 13, 2016 12:16 pm ET
by vhs
Vonnegut is dead
His words are all that remains
"So it goes" they say
Haiku # 53904, June 12, 2016 1:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
A butterfly shat
on the imported taco
of Donald Trump's wife.

She washed it right down
with cheap generic vodka
and belched quite loudly.

Her boyfriend stopped by
and they had sex all night long
while Donald just snored.
Haiku # 53903, June 11, 2016 11:00 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I recall stealing
Playboys from the Get-N-Go
when I was a lad.

Many a fond wank
was to be had in those days.
Now, goat porn dot com.
Haiku # 53901, June 11, 2016 4:39 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
They want their ipads.
We wanted our MTV.
What was before that?
Haiku # 53900, June 11, 2016 11:53 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Lays potato chips.
Monster trucks and drag racing.
Weaponized herpes.
Haiku # 53899, June 10, 2016 3:44 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Going for a beer.
I'll write a dirty haiku,
just for the waitress.

I'll keep you posted.
Jut please do not tell my wife.
She would be angry.

She hates me enough.
Lets not give her more reason.
On the other hand...

Who gives a rats ass.
Damned if I do or do not.
That waitress is hot!
Haiku # 53898, June 10, 2016 4:17 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
The dog licked himself.
And he was rather content.
Could you say the same?

Haiku Subtlety
is pointless on this website
so I'll spell it out.

So you can feel good,
If you need an audience,
the dog has you beat.

Go write some haiku
and flush them down the toilet.
That is your homework.
Haiku # 53897, June 10, 2016 4:13 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
The greatest boxer
was not Ali, but Jim Jones.
One punch killed hundreds.
Haiku # 53895, June 9, 2016 11:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i wonder if the
spam ads count as part of the
art of this website
Haiku # 53894, June 9, 2016 11:54 am ET
by vhs
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