Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

There's something right there.
And something else over here.
Not sure what this is.
Haiku # 54045, July 18, 2016 4:52 am ET
by victorious hair spray
I find if funny
when someone thinks it's for them
when it's all for me.

vaginal hair slime
veinous hardon saliva
vile ham suet
Haiku # 54044, July 17, 2016 11:34 pm ET
by df
"Snarf" is a term that
I made up to mean lack of
the sense of smell.

A marriage of the
words "sniff" and "deaf" sort of
but not completely.

Snarf is also the
Thundercats' pet Skeletor
uses like a mouse.

Meaning Skeletor
sticks Snarf deep up his rectum
for anal pleasure.

Snarf wrecked his rectum.
Now it's a flatus rectum,
not latus rectum.

Say "flatus rectum"
to an algebra teacher
to piss him/her off.

Parabolas suck.
y equals x fucking squared.
Like who gives a shit?!
Haiku # 54043, July 17, 2016 11:15 pm ET
by df
i found your buttocks
on my face snarf snarf snarf snarf
thanks for the anus
Haiku # 54042, July 17, 2016 10:22 pm ET
by Anil Dyk of Mars
viktor frankl's man's search for meaning, now i don't think that will cheer you up but, i like you too much to shut up
Haiku # 54041, July 17, 2016 10:55 am ET
by vhs
hmm that was a good
one but there''s a lot to say
about good haiku
Haiku # 54040, July 17, 2016 10:53 am ET
by vhs
There are no more words
In these silent steps tonight-
Every shadow gone
Haiku # 54039, July 17, 2016 2:09 am ET
by Sauh of Southern US
Shut up and suck it!
Love is an invented lie.
Why would you want that?!
Haiku # 54038, July 16, 2016 11:05 pm ET
by df the spammers have been quiet of late
He was a one-eyed,
one-horned flying purple
penis eater!

But did the monster fly?
Or did he eat flying penises?
And was the monster purple?
Or the penises? I always wonder
that every time I hear that song.
What was the intent of the song writer?
I felt bad for the monster.
Because if he only ate purple people,
he would likely starve to death.
Though it would be cool to be able
to fly.
Haiku # 54037, July 16, 2016 6:15 pm ET
by df
Oh shut the fuck up!
No one asked your opinion!
You're a stupid cunt!
Haiku # 54036, July 16, 2016 6:09 pm ET
by df
"The Lord regretted
that he had made man on Earth,
he grieved in his heart."

If you love children,
then you should not have any,
they will disappoint.

Or maybe they'll die.
Earth has no future except
pollution and death.

God made it that way.
It's a game that's rigged to lose.
Just like casinos.

Fold your cards and go.
Walk away from the table.
You do not need this.
Haiku # 54035, July 16, 2016 6:07 pm ET
by df
Genesis 6:6.
That sums up how I feel.
We deserve to die.
Haiku # 54034, July 16, 2016 5:51 pm ET
by df
Ground Mongolian.
Man, woman, or child meat.
It makes tasty stew!

Order yours online.
Chinese Exotic Imports,
dot com, but of course.

Look for the red stamp:
Genuine Mongolian.
Comes with free spices.

We also carry
Philippino, Korean,
Thai, and Laotian.
Haiku # 54033, July 15, 2016 8:07 pm ET
by df. Get a free clay figurine with every order of 10 or more.
There's a little pig-
fucker hiding in us all.
Release your redneck.
Haiku # 54032, July 15, 2016 2:59 pm ET
by df
Buy tiger cub meat.
Buy tiger penis jerky.
It makes your dick big!

Order yours today.
Only seven thousand baht!
Buddha will love you.
Haiku # 54031, July 15, 2016 8:14 am ET
by df
it's like the attack
of the billboards posting do
i want to buy "x"
Haiku # 54028, July 14, 2016 12:13 pm ET
by vhs
oh these crazy folks
and their Pokemon GO it's
gone all Pikachu...
Haiku # 54025, July 13, 2016 6:42 pm ET
by vhs
i guess it's become
an on line on going blurb
of dadaism
Haiku # 54024, July 12, 2016 1:23 pm ET
by vhs
Pikachu boners!
Japanime luncheon meat.
Vienna sausage.
Haiku # 54022, July 12, 2016 10:17 am ET
by df
With football we always have exciting games such as head soccer and head soccer unblocked and soccer heads and head soccer 2 or big head basketball big head soccer or head soccer will bring to everyone the good entertainment Best. After work you can play with Big Head Football and Big Head Soccer or Head Soccer to reduce the pressure of work. With big head basketball and Head Soccer and Big Head Football you will have the best experience on the sport king. big head basketball and Head Soccer and Big Head Soccer and Big Head Football will make the most demanding on electronic games must also satisfied. Come to Big Head Football and big head basketball and Big Head Soccer to experience the most wonderful thing. Thank you.
Haiku # 54017, July 11, 2016 4:45 am ET
by cherry
well when you are of
course speaking in toungues one is
not really in control

yaba dabba dooo iffy eply manuever hurvarata twist

what did he say?

he said God wants you to shove your head somewhere
Haiku # 54014, July 10, 2016 12:49 pm ET
by vhs
Here's a better one:
Ass Assassins in Ass Sin.
It rolls off your tongue.
Haiku # 54013, July 10, 2016 8:06 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of course I'm speaking of YOUR tongue, not mine.
Snuffalupagus
Bangs Big Bird's Butt video.
Let's call it snuff porn.

Another porn flick:
Ass Assassins in Her Ass.
I just made it up.
Haiku # 54012, July 10, 2016 5:10 am ET
by df
Nuclear launch codes.
Peanut butter and jelly.
Enormous boner.
Haiku # 54011, July 10, 2016 5:01 am ET
by df
We need a new brand.
Something with a zingy name.
Ameritastic!
Haiku # 54010, July 10, 2016 4:41 am ET
by Uncle Sam of Offshore gambling boat
there's a time to um
complain and then there's a time
to just recover
Haiku # 54009, July 9, 2016 11:32 am ET
by vhs
scrotal itch again
festering, pestering, dang
STDs, bereave
Haiku # 54007, July 8, 2016 5:46 am ET
by Lush
wherein lay the blame
vicious criminals once slain
shall I holster mine?
Haiku # 54006, July 8, 2016 5:43 am ET
by Lush
spying ballsack cleft
I deduced a sordid scheme
half-assed hybrid staff
Haiku # 54005, July 8, 2016 5:41 am ET
by Lush
I sought my better
and awoke desultory
absent solution
Haiku # 54004, July 8, 2016 5:38 am ET
by Lush
vile hysteria
provokes villainous shit smear
silence is golden
Haiku # 54003, July 8, 2016 5:36 am ET
by Lush
They sing quite badly.
This they do until you pay.
Then they go away.
Haiku # 54002, July 8, 2016 12:58 am ET
by Darth Figpucker in search of good coffee
going offline,
island has fresh air,
bluescreen.
Haiku # 54000, July 7, 2016 6:26 pm ET
by rabbit of hole
The bird was fresh killed.
But the cat would not eat it.
Lord, what have I done?
Haiku # 53999, July 7, 2016 6:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm teaching my kids
to be cannibalistic.
Perhaps they'll eat me.
Haiku # 53998, July 6, 2016 5:31 am ET
by df
schadenfreude ? too right !
the representative swill
shall rinse and repeat
Haiku # 53995, July 5, 2016 6:11 am ET
by ash
I call this poem
"Yet another dumb haiku".
And now it's over.

Thank you.
Haiku # 53993, July 4, 2016 7:37 pm ET
by df
Never give monkeys
the jobs that white men should do.
Christ, where is Janis?
Out of control spam.
If porn, it would be okay.
"SEO" my ass.
Give them your money.
And it will then disappear.
Likely they're Russian.
Or maybe Chinese.
Or maybe North Korean.
Or from New Jersey.
Haiku # 53992, July 4, 2016 7:34 pm ET
by df hate criminals who rape the bones of their dead grand parents for a buck.
I must need a gun.
That spam website told me so.
Amazing pictures.

I'll spend seven grand.
Sure, I'll trust this foreign site.
It must be legit.

If they scam someone,
I guess they should scam gun freaks.
That's some good scamming.
Haiku # 53989, July 4, 2016 12:59 am ET
by df
don't get me started
on the culture of food when...
man started thinking

with his cultural
gut, then the brain went out the
windows 95 thing...
Haiku # 53988, July 3, 2016 1:08 pm ET
by vhs
I don't get Asians.
Thai food is sooo fucking good.
Yet they like McD!                                
"USA is good!
Crappy ground dog meat gourmet!
Me so upper class."                                  
Makes me want to puke.
Spam is a delicacy?!
They must all be high.                                  
Modern Asian food,
It is pure fucking poison.
Eat at your own risk.                                        
Find an old dirt road.
Walk to the "Grandma Cafe".
Food so good I cried.                                        
Haiku # 53986, July 2, 2016 7:58 pm ET
by df
Oh, I like that name!
"Oh, you, oh poo" is sexy!
Too bad you are spam.
Haiku # 53985, July 2, 2016 7:39 pm ET
by df
If Jesus did it,
I know you can do it too.
We're better than God.

Funny thing is that
we likely taste better too.
Bland bread and cheap wine.

I should bring squirt cheese
and a fifth of Thunderbird.
The priest would just shit!

Holy improvement!
He's never tasted better!
... Father forgive me.
Haiku # 53982, July 1, 2016 3:14 am ET
by df
Do not kill yourself.
That's an unforgiven sin.
Allow us to help.

We'll kill you instead.
Then we will cook and eat you.
You won't go to waste.

Fattened soft poets.
Juicier than Kobe beef.
Slow roasted all day.

Sizzling fat sounds.
The last whine you'll ever make.
The body and blood.
Haiku # 53981, July 1, 2016 3:05 am ET
by df is in nead of you to die for his sins.
the novelty has
worn off but over time it
can become some fun
Haiku # 53980, June 30, 2016 12:39 pm ET
by vhs
i'm going to whine
again, but not kill myself
this is irony
Haiku # 53979, June 30, 2016 12:30 pm ET
by vhs
I burned a haiku.
I wrote it down and lit it.
It screamed horribly.
Haiku # 53978, June 30, 2016 3:49 am ET
by df
I parked a booger.
Right upon the bathroom wall.
It was disgusting.

Though it's no surprise
that I then returned to find
many more boogers.

I counted seven.
It was a booger party.
Great minds think alike.

Haiku # 53977, June 30, 2016 3:45 am ET
by df

This cannot be seen.
An invisible haiku.
The first of its kind.
Haiku # 53976, June 30, 2016 3:35 am ET
by df
Why would I want that?
I do not want to be hard.
But my fat wife does.
Haiku # 53975, June 29, 2016 12:40 am ET
by Darth Figpucker likes to make an ass of himself.
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >