Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

9 levels of hell
but it's just fucking ennui
we all have that stuff

it's called existentialism...
Haiku # 54064, July 24, 2016 2:11 pm ET
by vhs
I understand now,
Life is like toilet paper.
Still stuck in the drain....
Haiku # 54063, July 23, 2016 8:17 pm ET
by Lost of Slightly deeper layer of hell
An acre is the area of a rectangle whose length is one furlong and whose width is one chain.

One furlong = 660 feet
one chain = 66 feet
one acre = 43560 feet squared.

I think I'll buy me a football team.
Haiku # 54062, July 23, 2016 12:40 am ET
by df
I can sense the fire
It is terribly hungry
Feeding it children
Haiku # 54061, July 22, 2016 2:54 pm ET
by Lost of Hell
what's my answer, i
don't know, all opinions are
speculation, signs
Haiku # 54060, July 22, 2016 2:24 pm ET
by vhs
Windows 10 is shit.
The graphics are horrible.
It's slow and locks up.
Haiku # 54059, July 21, 2016 10:58 pm ET
by df
Can bugs be happy?
Butterflies look like they are.
That's all that matters.
Haiku # 54058, July 21, 2016 10:56 pm ET
by df
Found the love of me online,
where to find my love?
Created the heart of me online,
Where to create my heart online?
Haiku # 54057, July 21, 2016 1:31 pm ET
by Emily of Los Angeles
What would be the cost
of a new lunar rocket?
Should I build my own?
Haiku # 54056, July 21, 2016 1:07 am ET
by df
Two men in a park.
They were fucking and sucking.
Vaping is more gay.
Haiku # 54055, July 21, 2016 1:04 am ET
by df
The monster truck roared.
It spat gravel like buck shot.
I needs me a beer!
Haiku # 54054, July 21, 2016 1:02 am ET
by df
Some people read books.
While other people do not.
Choose your side wisely.
Haiku # 54053, July 20, 2016 10:33 pm ET
by Winnie the Pooh's brother Syd of The 88.5 Acre Wood
Air molecules bounce
randomly predetermined
by clandestine gods.
Haiku # 54052, July 20, 2016 8:14 am ET
by iamback of W00T W00T!
Children play in mud.
At the beach by the sewer.
They'll live forever.
Haiku # 54051, July 19, 2016 8:46 pm ET
by df
I'll pick some flowers.
Then I'll give them to some nuns.
Nuns need more flowers.
Haiku # 54048, July 18, 2016 9:03 pm ET
by df
Arrrrr, I'm a pirate!
I have a wooden peg leg...
Like to admire it?
Haiku # 54047, July 18, 2016 8:53 pm ET
by Peace Nozzle of Drunkistan
privacy is a
thing that the narcissitic
internet world view

has lost a sense of
one can be too positive
we need more fuck off

in our lives
Haiku # 54046, July 18, 2016 1:08 pm ET
by vhs
There's something right there.
And something else over here.
Not sure what this is.
Haiku # 54045, July 18, 2016 4:52 am ET
by victorious hair spray
I find if funny
when someone thinks it's for them
when it's all for me.

vaginal hair slime
veinous hardon saliva
vile ham suet
Haiku # 54044, July 17, 2016 11:34 pm ET
by df
"Snarf" is a term that
I made up to mean lack of
the sense of smell.

A marriage of the
words "sniff" and "deaf" sort of
but not completely.

Snarf is also the
Thundercats' pet Skeletor
uses like a mouse.

Meaning Skeletor
sticks Snarf deep up his rectum
for anal pleasure.

Snarf wrecked his rectum.
Now it's a flatus rectum,
not latus rectum.

Say "flatus rectum"
to an algebra teacher
to piss him/her off.

Parabolas suck.
y equals x fucking squared.
Like who gives a shit?!
Haiku # 54043, July 17, 2016 11:15 pm ET
by df
i found your buttocks
on my face snarf snarf snarf snarf
thanks for the anus
Haiku # 54042, July 17, 2016 10:22 pm ET
by Anil Dyk of Mars
viktor frankl's man's search for meaning, now i don't think that will cheer you up but, i like you too much to shut up
Haiku # 54041, July 17, 2016 10:55 am ET
by vhs
hmm that was a good
one but there''s a lot to say
about good haiku
Haiku # 54040, July 17, 2016 10:53 am ET
by vhs
There are no more words
In these silent steps tonight-
Every shadow gone
Haiku # 54039, July 17, 2016 2:09 am ET
by Sauh of Southern US
Shut up and suck it!
Love is an invented lie.
Why would you want that?!
Haiku # 54038, July 16, 2016 11:05 pm ET
by df the spammers have been quiet of late
He was a one-eyed,
one-horned flying purple
penis eater!

But did the monster fly?
Or did he eat flying penises?
And was the monster purple?
Or the penises? I always wonder
that every time I hear that song.
What was the intent of the song writer?
I felt bad for the monster.
Because if he only ate purple people,
he would likely starve to death.
Though it would be cool to be able
to fly.
Haiku # 54037, July 16, 2016 6:15 pm ET
by df
Oh shut the fuck up!
No one asked your opinion!
You're a stupid cunt!
Haiku # 54036, July 16, 2016 6:09 pm ET
by df
"The Lord regretted
that he had made man on Earth,
he grieved in his heart."

If you love children,
then you should not have any,
they will disappoint.

Or maybe they'll die.
Earth has no future except
pollution and death.

God made it that way.
It's a game that's rigged to lose.
Just like casinos.

Fold your cards and go.
Walk away from the table.
You do not need this.
Haiku # 54035, July 16, 2016 6:07 pm ET
by df
Genesis 6:6.
That sums up how I feel.
We deserve to die.
Haiku # 54034, July 16, 2016 5:51 pm ET
by df
Ground Mongolian.
Man, woman, or child meat.
It makes tasty stew!

Order yours online.
Chinese Exotic Imports,
dot com, but of course.

Look for the red stamp:
Genuine Mongolian.
Comes with free spices.

We also carry
Philippino, Korean,
Thai, and Laotian.
Haiku # 54033, July 15, 2016 8:07 pm ET
by df. Get a free clay figurine with every order of 10 or more.
There's a little pig-
fucker hiding in us all.
Release your redneck.
Haiku # 54032, July 15, 2016 2:59 pm ET
by df
Buy tiger cub meat.
Buy tiger penis jerky.
It makes your dick big!

Order yours today.
Only seven thousand baht!
Buddha will love you.
Haiku # 54031, July 15, 2016 8:14 am ET
by df
it's like the attack
of the billboards posting do
i want to buy "x"
Haiku # 54028, July 14, 2016 12:13 pm ET
by vhs
oh these crazy folks
and their Pokemon GO it's
gone all Pikachu...
Haiku # 54025, July 13, 2016 6:42 pm ET
by vhs
i guess it's become
an on line on going blurb
of dadaism
Haiku # 54024, July 12, 2016 1:23 pm ET
by vhs
Pikachu boners!
Japanime luncheon meat.
Vienna sausage.
Haiku # 54022, July 12, 2016 10:17 am ET
by df
With football we always have exciting games such as head soccer and head soccer unblocked and soccer heads and head soccer 2 or big head basketball big head soccer or head soccer will bring to everyone the good entertainment Best. After work you can play with Big Head Football and Big Head Soccer or Head Soccer to reduce the pressure of work. With big head basketball and Head Soccer and Big Head Football you will have the best experience on the sport king. big head basketball and Head Soccer and Big Head Soccer and Big Head Football will make the most demanding on electronic games must also satisfied. Come to Big Head Football and big head basketball and Big Head Soccer to experience the most wonderful thing. Thank you.
Haiku # 54017, July 11, 2016 4:45 am ET
by cherry
well when you are of
course speaking in toungues one is
not really in control

yaba dabba dooo iffy eply manuever hurvarata twist

what did he say?

he said God wants you to shove your head somewhere
Haiku # 54014, July 10, 2016 12:49 pm ET
by vhs
Here's a better one:
Ass Assassins in Ass Sin.
It rolls off your tongue.
Haiku # 54013, July 10, 2016 8:06 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of course I'm speaking of YOUR tongue, not mine.
Snuffalupagus
Bangs Big Bird's Butt video.
Let's call it snuff porn.

Another porn flick:
Ass Assassins in Her Ass.
I just made it up.
Haiku # 54012, July 10, 2016 5:10 am ET
by df
Nuclear launch codes.
Peanut butter and jelly.
Enormous boner.
Haiku # 54011, July 10, 2016 5:01 am ET
by df
We need a new brand.
Something with a zingy name.
Ameritastic!
Haiku # 54010, July 10, 2016 4:41 am ET
by Uncle Sam of Offshore gambling boat
there's a time to um
complain and then there's a time
to just recover
Haiku # 54009, July 9, 2016 11:32 am ET
by vhs
scrotal itch again
festering, pestering, dang
STDs, bereave
Haiku # 54007, July 8, 2016 5:46 am ET
by Lush
wherein lay the blame
vicious criminals once slain
shall I holster mine?
Haiku # 54006, July 8, 2016 5:43 am ET
by Lush
spying ballsack cleft
I deduced a sordid scheme
half-assed hybrid staff
Haiku # 54005, July 8, 2016 5:41 am ET
by Lush
I sought my better
and awoke desultory
absent solution
Haiku # 54004, July 8, 2016 5:38 am ET
by Lush
vile hysteria
provokes villainous shit smear
silence is golden
Haiku # 54003, July 8, 2016 5:36 am ET
by Lush
They sing quite badly.
This they do until you pay.
Then they go away.
Haiku # 54002, July 8, 2016 12:58 am ET
by Darth Figpucker in search of good coffee
going offline,
island has fresh air,
bluescreen.
Haiku # 54000, July 7, 2016 6:26 pm ET
by rabbit of hole
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