BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
21 Years
33 Days
and
57791 Haikus
later...
i like the transcend
ent stuff right now, there's just this
in the now and not

enough relax, sit
tree, mountain, river sounds dumb
it isn't, shup up, watch
Haiku #56798, by vhs
June 12, 2017 1:56 pm ET

the poetry of the
romantic comes along when
it is time to put

away the childish world
of Pulp Fiction and the Gen
X Party Scenesters

But I will always say Mst3k is eternal
Haiku #56797, by vhs
June 12, 2017 1:45 pm ET

one wants to transcend
the nonsense of this
plane of existence

the other wishes
to roil in the samsara
and heckle the world

i tire of the world
of ugliness and conflict
Emerson Rises

if necessary, Lake and Palmer
as well
Haiku #56796, by vhs
June 12, 2017 1:43 pm ET

I, the one-eyed wonder worm.
I, the contraceptive Sponge Bob.
I, the goat sphincter stinked her away.

Nothing more to say.

6-6-6
Haiku #56795, by Anonymous Poet
June 11, 2017 10:59 pm ET

I, the third eye

I, the sponge

I am everyone else

And I am only her.


APRIL 11 2017
Haiku #56794, by bravoecho
June 11, 2017 10:45 pm ET

don't take a bath when you're thirsty.

don't settle for wooden fruit.

let your life be bountiful

let it be okay to have the things you need
Haiku #56793, by bravoecho
June 11, 2017 10:43 pm ET

we can't be trusted with this flame

we can't be trusted to tend to it

we can't be trusted not to let it burn our lives down

and we cannot be trusted not to let it die quietly in our midst.

premature

immature

what we've lost we may never know

what we've lost we may never get back.

sometimes I pray we're given another chance

to keep it alive.

to care


APRIL 21 2017
Haiku #56792, by bravoecho
June 11, 2017 10:41 pm ET

Adam West pulled down more pussy than Hugh Hefner.
The Batman and Robin orgies are legendary.
If I were there, I would have been the Joker.
But were there drugs? That would have been ironic.

Na na na na na
na na na na na na na
na na na na Batman!

Not quite a haiku, but that's okay.
Haiku #56791, by Anonymous Poet
June 11, 2017 6:17 pm ET

i had to look that
up about Adam West, i
wonder if people

might check out the old
shows sooner or later, I
think they were ahead

of their time with the
speed that they went at, adam
is gone, quite a thought...
Haiku #56790, by vhs
June 11, 2017 10:50 am ET

bye, caped crusader
bat signal fades in the west
and it's like, kapow !
Haiku #56789, by ash
June 11, 2017 12:13 am ET

well i hate to be
older, i want my body to
do my thing not do

it's own thing without
any sense it needs to keep on
trucking and working
Haiku #56788, by vhs
June 10, 2017 1:32 pm ET

People take easy
Over the inconvenient
There's less resistance

But what do I know
I'm just a guy that likes to
Haiku on the roof
Haiku #56787, by adam ben adam
June 10, 2017 12:36 pm ET

i wonder why times
like these fall apart into
polarized sub sets
Haiku #56786, by vhs
June 10, 2017 12:28 pm ET

if you are into
yoga then your body just
might behave itself
Haiku #56785, by vhs
June 10, 2017 12:03 pm ET

the body fights with the
mind over who is in charge
eventually the mind

leaves the body and the
body dies, either the mind goes
up or down or comes back
Haiku #56784, by vhs
June 10, 2017 12:02 pm ET

Flush toilet and spray
My sensors detect methane
Congratulations
Haiku #56783, by Smart Toilet #1
June 10, 2017 12:02 pm ET

well you know if you
like pina colatas you
might just be on vacation
Haiku #56782, by vhs
June 10, 2017 12:01 pm ET

Idea: Smart Toilet
Congratulates when pooping
Also writes haikus
Haiku #56781, by Smart Toilet User #1
June 10, 2017 12:00 pm ET

I remember reading the comments
To a Bob Dylan song on YouTube
One person's was weird
So I checked out their profile
They had posted just one thing
A video of them eating a bowl of cereal
Maybe schizophrenia is when
You're the only one in on the inside joke
Haiku #56780, by dvd
June 10, 2017 11:17 am ET

I'd rather listen to classical than pop crap any day.
I'd rather get a blow job than write haiku.
I'd rather write haiku than get my work done.
I work better listening to classical music.
I could go for a $20 happy ending.
Haiku #56779, by &nbsp
June 10, 2017 10:18 am ET

on the road of life
happiness isn't a place
it's a vehicle
Haiku #56778, by ash
June 9, 2017 8:45 pm ET

this used to be the
norm of the internet a
sort of post and let

go, forget, and move
on remember and maybe
revisit at times
Haiku #56777, by vhs
June 9, 2017 4:39 pm ET

Two trees on a roof
Produce continuous food
Growing together
Haiku #56776, by adam ben adam
June 9, 2017 2:39 pm ET

the vulgar sorts of
things are shocking at first but
then they get boring

then people put real
effort into art and music
once again though
Haiku #56775, by vhs
June 9, 2017 1:37 pm ET

so many people
segregate themselves to some
corner of the world

and only make stuff for
themselves and their tribe and then
find themselves thrown to

another tribe then
form some kind of new tribe with
the tribe they are put

into by work, love, friends
etc etc etc or cast out as
tribes grow and then shrink
Haiku #56774, by vhs
June 9, 2017 1:20 pm ET

if i hear the kind
of classical music that sounds
like people are in

the process of destroying
their instruments it reminds
me of say close

encounters of the third
kind. The track is called Edgard
Varese-Octandre for Small

Orchestra, stick with the
Piano thing by Alan Hovaness
which is nice but

Squidward is having nightmares right now....."Sppooonge BOB!!!
You just destroyed an
entire Orcestra!!!"
Haiku #56773, by ROAD HORNO (aks vhs) of i don't know, it came up on autocomplete!
June 9, 2017 1:16 pm ET

Ok Alan Hovhaness
Visonary Landscapes for Piano
I'm just typing the

title. This one I
like. I grew up with John Williams
Star Wars sound track

you know
Haiku #56772, by vhs
June 9, 2017 1:05 pm ET

Youtube just went
to something called "American
Berserk for piano"

Damn it Double F!
You got me listening to
classical music!

now what's playing????
Haiku #56771, by vhs
June 9, 2017 1:03 pm ET

i kept getting some
emails about Anton Webern
it sounds like a

person killing a
piano, but it is a lot
more fun to hear than

classical classical music
Haiku #56770, by vhs
June 9, 2017 1:01 pm ET

Put plants on your roof.
Your electric bill will drop.
This is not fake news.
Haiku #56769, by Anonymous Poet
June 9, 2017 9:47 am ET

Celebrate celibate celebrity
sleeper cell phone sex
booty call rudeness explosion
high decibel flatus
transmission @ 900 mega hurts
fails to retain significance.
Haiku #56768, by Anonymous Poet
June 8, 2017 11:38 pm ET

People are like glass
They're transparent and fragile
Some are bulletproof
Haiku #56767, by adam ben adam
June 8, 2017 10:16 pm ET

Some roofs can cover
My roof is for sunbathing
I have dread of heights
Haiku #56766, by adam ben adam
June 8, 2017 2:05 pm ET

some walls keep folks out
some are built to define...
others are to wail at
Haiku #56765, by vhs
June 8, 2017 1:43 pm ET

Teachings in war time
Rising sun enhanced by life
Rewards of the dead

Fish swim time to time
Spring blossom destined to pass
Sun shines bright slightly
Haiku #56764, by adam ben adam
June 8, 2017 12:43 pm ET

they get bored with the
same old thing and move on
to new locations

whilst others just keep
on playing uno waiting
for jcpennies

to reopen
Haiku #56763, by vhs
June 8, 2017 12:25 pm ET

testicular binocular tripod survey instrumentation festivities
all ac/dc songs sound like someone is having a really difficult time on the toilet
zit pus culture high society tea drinkers pretending to be British, but down under they drink ball sweat from down under my balls

well, it was 3 lines anyway

i prefer the chili peppers
especially on pizza
hemhorridoids be damned

hem horridoids on steroids bulking up, singing badly, and bench pressing more than I can
bastards
Haiku #56762, by Anonymous Poet
June 7, 2017 10:05 pm ET

If I fart in the forest
And no one is there to smell it
but all the trees die
was it still an awesome fart?
Haiku #56761, by df
June 7, 2017 5:25 pm ET

Time to be a whore.
Chemistry exam gang bang.
Two at the same time.

Two different exams.
How many whores can do that?
Double the money.

Those silly Arabs.
They'll never learn chemistry.
If I cheat for them.

Cell phones are awesome.
Old teachers don't watch for them.
Or Apple watches.

Talk about James Bond.
Super-spy gadgetry cheat.
Cha-cha-cha-cha Ching!

Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked
Money don't grow on trees
I got bills to pay
I got mouths to feed
And ain't nothing in this world for free
No, I can't slow down
I can't hold back
Though you know I wish I could
Oh, no, there ain't no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good
Haiku #56760, by df
June 7, 2017 5:21 pm ET

so four ironic
t-shirts later and re runs
of mork and mindy

I miss Robin who
was Williams, Genie good morning
vietnam! but all

are just women and
men vulnerable as us
all in the end, but

we can remember
we can be inspired and
we can avoid the

same tragedies i hope
Haiku #56759, by vhs
June 7, 2017 2:37 pm ET

i realize the world
has moved on while i watch it
do so around me
Haiku #56758, by vhs
June 7, 2017 2:34 pm ET

right now is a song
by Van Halen but it is
also in reference

to what i am trying to
read right now which is called
get this title please

Ben Sasse's The Vanishing American Adult...
Haiku #56757, by vhs
June 7, 2017 2:24 pm ET

i am not too fond
of amazon because I
can picture this guy

making robots to
drink the coffee for you in
a cafe' and selling

the experience
of once having been going
to those coffee shops
Haiku #56756, by vhs of espresso banano
June 7, 2017 2:21 pm ET

silent but deadly
i have heard of passing "it"
on but by God man
Haiku #56755, by vhs
June 7, 2017 2:18 pm ET

I ripped a good one.
No one is here to smell it.
Silent forest farts.
Haiku #56754, by Anonymous Poet
June 7, 2017 5:43 am ET

Cook me when I die
Feed me to the upper crust
An elegant brunch
Haiku #56753, by Mandingo Ebola of
June 7, 2017 12:10 am ET

think of this site as
a sort of haiku twitter
but no registry

off the cuff, an on
line poetry slam where folks
can post....whatever

i mean whatever!
Haiku #56752, by vhs
June 6, 2017 10:39 am ET

excuse me TECMO Bowl...
Haiku #56751, by vhs
June 6, 2017 10:29 am ET

i understand football
i don't watch it much but i
like it when i do

i don't know the teams
but i like an old game called
Techno Bowl on the

Original NES...
yes there are video games
in haiku on here
Haiku #56750, by vhs
June 6, 2017 10:29 am ET

Old Doctor Who, the
monster was made out of bubble
wrap and special lighting

new Doctor Who the
monster is state of the art
CGI and often better

than Hollywood stuff now
Haiku #56749, by vhs
June 6, 2017 10:27 am ET