BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
20 Years
221 Days
and
56863 Haikus
later...
How many haiku
have you thought and then forgot
before writing down?

I have no hope for this world.
Are manatees edible?
Would they make a good roast for sandwiches?
Orangutan vs. chimp knife fights.
Rice wine fermented in a cask containing the powdered,
baked bones of Himalayan tribe children.
Because shit flows downhill.

She switched the pills at the nursing home with Viagra.
Then live streamed the resulting fiasco.
People pay for that shit.
Haiku #56814, by df
June 13, 2017 9:19 pm ET

wearable eternity becoming daydreamer balance autonomous erotica vampire apology available

June 13
Haiku #56813, by dvd
June 13, 2017 6:00 pm ET

bunny communication loophole habitual bewitching document largest daydreamer lavender bunny

April 1
Haiku #56812, by dvd
June 13, 2017 5:59 pm ET

wolves guaranteed vampire deletion mother almighty cosmic fashion born confidential

March 14
Haiku #56811, by dvd
June 13, 2017 5:57 pm ET

acrobat club bottomless truth polite biology available predict open sadness

March 10
Haiku #56810, by dvd
June 13, 2017 5:56 pm ET

Can't sleep - clowns are after me
Good thing I've got a weapon
Deadly Spider Gun (TM)
Haiku #56809, by Whitey Everyday
June 13, 2017 1:12 pm ET

i shouldn't be so
confident right now but i
am, it sounds silly

because i am used
to having low self esteem
and now have pretty

high self esteem well
it's ironic I'm confident
and I'll deal with it
Haiku #56808, by vhs
June 13, 2017 11:16 am ET

the way i see it
if i can do nothing right
then you've got me wrong
Haiku #56807, by ash
June 13, 2017 3:32 am ET

this life is scary
my own cells out to kill me
auto-terrorist
Haiku #56806, by ash
June 12, 2017 11:05 pm ET

The hot new toy for
Christmas twenty seventeen...
Deadly Spider Gun
Haiku #56805, by Mandingo Ebola
June 12, 2017 10:19 pm ET

The only thing scarier than spiders
Are guns
The only thing scarier than these
Must be some sort of spider gun
Would that be a gun made of spiders
Or a spider made of guns?
Haiku #56804, by Whitey Everyday of Asking The Important Questions
June 12, 2017 6:53 pm ET

Echoes in the spring
Rising sun overcome with joy
Petals fall sudden

Knife cuts among friends
Forgotten in front of joy
Music plays truthful
Haiku #56803, by dvd
June 12, 2017 4:44 pm ET

Summer spreads carefree
Singing bird destined to pass
Petals fall greedy

Struggles of fire
Autumn rain is free to be
Wolf howls with relief
Haiku #56802, by dvd
June 12, 2017 4:35 pm ET

a lot of growing
old is seeing the people
who had been around

as icons die and
become a part of the past
and then much later

historical icons
Haiku #56801, by vhs
June 12, 2017 2:43 pm ET

men have many good
qualities but women DO
balance a lot of

the excess of "men"
out and vice versa, this is
why two genders....erm...

plus
Haiku #56800, by vhs
June 12, 2017 2:25 pm ET

mow the lawn, think one
has all the time in the world
remember the H2O

avoid the bugs and
listen to the latest news
about scary stunts
Haiku #56799, by vhs
June 12, 2017 2:05 pm ET

i like the transcend
ent stuff right now, there's just this
in the now and not

enough relax, sit
tree, mountain, river sounds dumb
it isn't, shup up, watch
Haiku #56798, by vhs
June 12, 2017 1:56 pm ET

the poetry of the
romantic comes along when
it is time to put

away the childish world
of Pulp Fiction and the Gen
X Party Scenesters

But I will always say Mst3k is eternal
Haiku #56797, by vhs
June 12, 2017 1:45 pm ET

one wants to transcend
the nonsense of this
plane of existence

the other wishes
to roil in the samsara
and heckle the world

i tire of the world
of ugliness and conflict
Emerson Rises

if necessary, Lake and Palmer
as well
Haiku #56796, by vhs
June 12, 2017 1:43 pm ET

I, the one-eyed wonder worm.
I, the contraceptive Sponge Bob.
I, the goat sphincter stinked her away.

Nothing more to say.

6-6-6
Haiku #56795, by Anonymous Poet
June 11, 2017 10:59 pm ET

I, the third eye

I, the sponge

I am everyone else

And I am only her.


APRIL 11 2017
Haiku #56794, by bravoecho
June 11, 2017 10:45 pm ET

don't take a bath when you're thirsty.

don't settle for wooden fruit.

let your life be bountiful

let it be okay to have the things you need
Haiku #56793, by bravoecho
June 11, 2017 10:43 pm ET

we can't be trusted with this flame

we can't be trusted to tend to it

we can't be trusted not to let it burn our lives down

and we cannot be trusted not to let it die quietly in our midst.

premature

immature

what we've lost we may never know

what we've lost we may never get back.

sometimes I pray we're given another chance

to keep it alive.

to care


APRIL 21 2017
Haiku #56792, by bravoecho
June 11, 2017 10:41 pm ET

Adam West pulled down more pussy than Hugh Hefner.
The Batman and Robin orgies are legendary.
If I were there, I would have been the Joker.
But were there drugs? That would have been ironic.

Na na na na na
na na na na na na na
na na na na Batman!

Not quite a haiku, but that's okay.
Haiku #56791, by Anonymous Poet
June 11, 2017 6:17 pm ET

i had to look that
up about Adam West, i
wonder if people

might check out the old
shows sooner or later, I
think they were ahead

of their time with the
speed that they went at, adam
is gone, quite a thought...
Haiku #56790, by vhs
June 11, 2017 10:50 am ET

bye, caped crusader
bat signal fades in the west
and it's like, kapow !
Haiku #56789, by ash
June 11, 2017 12:13 am ET

well i hate to be
older, i want my body to
do my thing not do

it's own thing without
any sense it needs to keep on
trucking and working
Haiku #56788, by vhs
June 10, 2017 1:32 pm ET

People take easy
Over the inconvenient
There's less resistance

But what do I know
I'm just a guy that likes to
Haiku on the roof
Haiku #56787, by adam ben adam
June 10, 2017 12:36 pm ET

i wonder why times
like these fall apart into
polarized sub sets
Haiku #56786, by vhs
June 10, 2017 12:28 pm ET

if you are into
yoga then your body just
might behave itself
Haiku #56785, by vhs
June 10, 2017 12:03 pm ET

the body fights with the
mind over who is in charge
eventually the mind

leaves the body and the
body dies, either the mind goes
up or down or comes back
Haiku #56784, by vhs
June 10, 2017 12:02 pm ET

Flush toilet and spray
My sensors detect methane
Congratulations
Haiku #56783, by Smart Toilet #1
June 10, 2017 12:02 pm ET

well you know if you
like pina colatas you
might just be on vacation
Haiku #56782, by vhs
June 10, 2017 12:01 pm ET

Idea: Smart Toilet
Congratulates when pooping
Also writes haikus
Haiku #56781, by Smart Toilet User #1
June 10, 2017 12:00 pm ET

I remember reading the comments
To a Bob Dylan song on YouTube
One person's was weird
So I checked out their profile
They had posted just one thing
A video of them eating a bowl of cereal
Maybe schizophrenia is when
You're the only one in on the inside joke
Haiku #56780, by dvd
June 10, 2017 11:17 am ET

I'd rather listen to classical than pop crap any day.
I'd rather get a blow job than write haiku.
I'd rather write haiku than get my work done.
I work better listening to classical music.
I could go for a $20 happy ending.
Haiku #56779, by &nbsp
June 10, 2017 10:18 am ET

on the road of life
happiness isn't a place
it's a vehicle
Haiku #56778, by ash
June 9, 2017 8:45 pm ET

this used to be the
norm of the internet a
sort of post and let

go, forget, and move
on remember and maybe
revisit at times
Haiku #56777, by vhs
June 9, 2017 4:39 pm ET

Two trees on a roof
Produce continuous food
Growing together
Haiku #56776, by adam ben adam
June 9, 2017 2:39 pm ET

the vulgar sorts of
things are shocking at first but
then they get boring

then people put real
effort into art and music
once again though
Haiku #56775, by vhs
June 9, 2017 1:37 pm ET

so many people
segregate themselves to some
corner of the world

and only make stuff for
themselves and their tribe and then
find themselves thrown to

another tribe then
form some kind of new tribe with
the tribe they are put

into by work, love, friends
etc etc etc or cast out as
tribes grow and then shrink
Haiku #56774, by vhs
June 9, 2017 1:20 pm ET

if i hear the kind
of classical music that sounds
like people are in

the process of destroying
their instruments it reminds
me of say close

encounters of the third
kind. The track is called Edgard
Varese-Octandre for Small

Orchestra, stick with the
Piano thing by Alan Hovaness
which is nice but

Squidward is having nightmares right now....."Sppooonge BOB!!!
You just destroyed an
entire Orcestra!!!"
Haiku #56773, by ROAD HORNO (aks vhs) of i don't know, it came up on autocomplete!
June 9, 2017 1:16 pm ET

Ok Alan Hovhaness
Visonary Landscapes for Piano
I'm just typing the

title. This one I
like. I grew up with John Williams
Star Wars sound track

you know
Haiku #56772, by vhs
June 9, 2017 1:05 pm ET

Youtube just went
to something called "American
Berserk for piano"

Damn it Double F!
You got me listening to
classical music!

now what's playing????
Haiku #56771, by vhs
June 9, 2017 1:03 pm ET

i kept getting some
emails about Anton Webern
it sounds like a

person killing a
piano, but it is a lot
more fun to hear than

classical classical music
Haiku #56770, by vhs
June 9, 2017 1:01 pm ET

Put plants on your roof.
Your electric bill will drop.
This is not fake news.
Haiku #56769, by Anonymous Poet
June 9, 2017 9:47 am ET

Celebrate celibate celebrity
sleeper cell phone sex
booty call rudeness explosion
high decibel flatus
transmission @ 900 mega hurts
fails to retain significance.
Haiku #56768, by Anonymous Poet
June 8, 2017 11:38 pm ET

People are like glass
They're transparent and fragile
Some are bulletproof
Haiku #56767, by adam ben adam
June 8, 2017 10:16 pm ET

Some roofs can cover
My roof is for sunbathing
I have dread of heights
Haiku #56766, by adam ben adam
June 8, 2017 2:05 pm ET

some walls keep folks out
some are built to define...
others are to wail at
Haiku #56765, by vhs
June 8, 2017 1:43 pm ET