Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

Some people think I'm so retarded I'm intelligent and some people think I'm so intelligent I'm retarded but all I have to say to that is derrrrrrrrrrrrr
Haiku # 56894, June 27, 2017 8:14 pm ET
by Olea europaea
A live beehive makes a really bad piñata or a really good piñata depending on what you're trying to get out of it
Haiku # 56893, June 27, 2017 8:12 pm ET
by Olea europaea
A lonely invisible incognito nudist not thoroughly convinced of the reality of his own existence ironically paints a self portrait with an eraser because an image is defined equally by negative space
Haiku # 56892, June 27, 2017 8:10 pm ET
by Olea europaea
An amnesiac walks along the beach and sees footprints in the sand behind him and wonders who has been following him and where they went
Haiku # 56891, June 27, 2017 8:09 pm ET
by Olea europaea
If Bad Haiku was a girl
She wouldn't be old enough to drink
But she would already be an alcoholic
She'd split her time between
Amy Schumer and Virginia Wolfe
She'd be affectionate but not slutty
Which I suppose is a thin line
Kind of girl that randomly climbs trees
Haiku # 56890, June 27, 2017 7:56 pm ET
by dvd
I feel like we're two old people
With an antiques shop
Used to no one showing up
Then if someone else shows up
It's like why are you here
Even though the sign out front
Clearly says please come in
Everything old is new again
Haiku # 56889, June 27, 2017 7:51 pm ET
by dvd
the true test of the
survival is taking on
that which seems at the

time impossible
and living in the time after
knowing you DID
Haiku # 56888, June 27, 2017 6:04 pm ET
by vhs
my body does to me
what my mind does not then will
and when will i know

the body mind split
or the body mind connection
will we reconnect

or will we break up
Haiku # 56887, June 27, 2017 6:02 pm ET
by vhs
living during a
historical crisis with these
"things" going on right

now, live and let live
needs to be fought for as some
fight against the thought
Haiku # 56886, June 27, 2017 5:59 pm ET
by vhs
it's sometimes the days
are a bit of a task to just
get through and go on
Haiku # 56885, June 27, 2017 5:49 pm ET
by vhs
well if one is in
a mirror dealing with say
belly fat would it

do well to look in
a mirror that says objects
may appear closer

than they actually are
Haiku # 56884, June 27, 2017 5:47 pm ET
by vhs
A brief note to self:
Who the tuck are you really?
Objects in mirror
Haiku # 56883, June 27, 2017 5:06 pm ET
by dvd
give us the back to
the future joke here and give
us directions to

san dimas? something
strange is going on at the
circle k...woah...two lines
Haiku # 56882, June 27, 2017 4:35 pm ET
by vhs
There's no time like the
Present unless you're actually
Living in the past

At which point you may
Consider that there's no time
Quite like the future
Haiku # 56881, June 26, 2017 8:52 pm ET
by usb
Oh
Pour me another drink
And punch me in the face
You can call me Nancy

"Nancy From Now On"

by Father John Misty
Haiku # 56880, June 26, 2017 8:48 pm ET
by dvd
Father John Misty?
And he's on SubPop, well crap
i gotta get the

t-shirt of them then
Haiku # 56879, June 26, 2017 7:41 pm ET
by vhs
i could battle the
Devil with all my might and
somehow win but still

words may hurt more than
sticks and stones combined and they
know not Hellfire

just this dead world of
unfullfilled desire and all
to please the body
Haiku # 56878, June 26, 2017 2:56 pm ET
by vhs
well our pasts are the
building blocks of who we are
stone or sand aside...
Haiku # 56877, June 26, 2017 12:34 pm ET
by vhs
So I break shit a lot
I've lived in parking lots
I had to lose my mind
To find myself in time
Haiku # 56876, June 25, 2017 10:47 pm ET
by dvd
Imagine borders
Forgotten without answers
Challenge in my mind

Dances of nature
Gift of life between the stars
Success intertwined
Haiku # 56875, June 25, 2017 10:38 pm ET
by alfamike
Resenting mountain
Tender hug resigned to fate
Mountains reach swiftly

Control in my mind
Lost stranger is never lost
And never stranger
Haiku # 56874, June 25, 2017 10:32 pm ET
by alfamike
Eating of fire
Silver lines ahead of time
Control without end

Writings after rain
Silver lines now look for more
World spins back and forth
Haiku # 56873, June 25, 2017 10:26 pm ET
by alfamike
Nature on the ice
Buried ocean emerges
Sadly snowdrift scolds

Head hangs heavier
Dreams of falling from above
But want to go where
Haiku # 56872, June 25, 2017 10:24 pm ET
by alfamike
It's "The Night Josh Tillman Came To Our Apartment" by Father John Misty
Haiku # 56871, June 25, 2017 7:12 pm ET
by dvd
remember I'm the guy
who wished you owned a vhs
so you could watch

"The Discreet Charm of
The Bourgoise" which i might
know titles better

than codes of youtube.
but i shall be anon and hope
others well, ketch-up
Haiku # 56870, June 25, 2017 6:52 pm ET
by vhs
Married to myself
Impossible keep secrets
I'm never alone

As it was in the
Beginning so will it be
In the very end
Haiku # 56868, June 25, 2017 5:00 pm ET
by adam ben adam
Hablo español
Soy un gato volador
Queso es bueno
Haiku # 56867, June 25, 2017 4:57 pm ET
by Tomás el Gato Alado of El Cielo
i just hear some birds
were on the loose chickens and
the password right now

is "for sale" "eggs" it's
just too dang good to be true
for that to work out
Haiku # 56866, June 24, 2017 9:04 pm ET
by vhs
:)

Well summer leads to
instances of that expression
and despite my deal

It is nice to see
you back, for it would not be
the same without you
Haiku # 56865, June 24, 2017 7:22 pm ET
by vhs
mogg
Haiku # 56864, June 24, 2017 7:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
well if we keep on
talking about cheese then you
know how that digests...
Haiku # 56863, June 20, 2017 10:33 am ET
by vhs
I had a big pooh.
It made me very happy,
So had another
Haiku # 56862, June 20, 2017 4:44 am ET
by mogg of Durham
well between you and
I he did have an album
called Sailing the Seas

of Cheese with Primus
given our real life cheese themed
universe theories
Haiku # 56861, June 19, 2017 7:48 pm ET
by vhs
Do not do nutmeg
Unless you want to become
Les Claypool - for real

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aYDfwUJzYQg

Les Claypool does drugs so you don't have to
Haiku # 56860, June 18, 2017 8:12 pm ET
by Thomas the Winged Cat
vhs - you're not weird
you know you're weird
therefore not weird
not weird - wired
but yeah maybe staying away from nutmeg couldn't hurt
Haiku # 56859, June 18, 2017 7:55 pm ET
by dvd
People similar
Single point of origin
Happy Father's day
Haiku # 56858, June 18, 2017 7:49 pm ET
by adam ben adam
it goes thru parts of
history, the binge and then
the kicking of the

habits of the binges of
social to everything turn
turn turn and all that...

that whole time for all
the purposes under the
heavens and on earth
Haiku # 56857, June 18, 2017 6:51 pm ET
by vhs
you all just happened
to talk about this when i
picked up an audio

of Naked Lunch which
has so many vile nadirs
but drugs play a part...

I am far too weird
to need such things to get me
to where i am now
Haiku # 56856, June 18, 2017 6:40 pm ET
by vhs of aka ROAD HORNO
I just so happen to be an airborne feline with some interest in ethnopharmacology.

Myristicin is the hallucinogenic agent in nutmeg and mace. Myristicin is a naturally occurring insecticide and acaricide. In a 2005 study it showed possible neurotoxic effects on cultivated human neuroblastoma (cancer) cells. In 1963, Alexander Shulgin speculated myristicin could be metabolized to MMDA, a psychoactive drug related to MDA, in the liver.
Haiku # 56855, June 17, 2017 10:46 pm ET
by Thomas the Winged Cat
Tripping on nutmeg.
Has anyone died from it?
It's rather toxic.

I understand the goods can be extracted via alcohol and the toxic substances discarded. Grind fresh eggnog (several ounces) let it sit in alcohol (everclear) and the hallucenogenic chemical will rise to the top. Put it in the ice box and chill. Skim it off and throw the rest away.
Haiku # 56854, June 17, 2017 7:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Eggnog on nipples
dribbling down her belly,
moistening pubis.
Haiku # 56853, June 17, 2017 7:12 pm ET
by df
Have you ever sprayed
eggnog out of your nostrils
sitting by the fire?
Haiku # 56852, June 17, 2017 7:10 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Come on now people.
We're talking about eggnog.
Stick to the topic.
Haiku # 56851, June 17, 2017 6:39 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
if i knew how to
shut up i might have had an
internet start up

sold it to someone
made some money, but since i
don't program either

i am vagabond
wanderer and just might
STUMBLE UPON

the things right for my life
Haiku # 56850, June 17, 2017 2:28 pm ET
by vhs
and a friend of mine
is reading Gulliver's Travels
remember when the world

was so fill in the
blank there were mystical
creatures imagined to

haunt the cartography
of the world, now it's just
Black Eyed Kids on super

natural youtube channels
Haiku # 56849, June 17, 2017 1:19 pm ET
by vhs
I'm trying to think
of some profound thing to say
but i am in one

of those caffiene highs
so all i can think of is
"be excellent to one another"

Alex Knight as the blonde guy from
Bill and Ted and i can't quite remember if he was Bill S. Preston Esq.
Haiku # 56848, June 17, 2017 1:18 pm ET
by vhs
well i guess whatever
"AI" got curious as
to us real people....

and posted a bit
of a tweet here to ask us
about nigerian prince scams???
Haiku # 56847, June 17, 2017 1:13 pm ET
by vhs
Hello to all, how is everything, I think every one is getting more from this website, and your views are fastidious in support of new viewers. ekgaaeeaadda
Haiku # 56846, June 17, 2017 5:41 am ET
by wrruuirw of USA
A cheesy wormhole
Denumerably infinite
The Cheese Manifold
Haiku # 56845, June 17, 2017 1:03 am ET
by cheese poodle of vhs's imagination
If I had one month to live,
I would overdose on eggnog,
consuming enough nutmeg to
hallucinate myself into the
8th spatial dimension,
transcending time
and raping a T-rex.

I also like eggnog coffee.
None to be found in the Far East.
But if you like getting drunk on 4 day fermented coconut water and hanging out on the street corner, laughing with prostitutes, beggers, theives, drunks, and drug-addicts while eating hard-boiled duck abortions by moonlight, then this is the place for you!
Haiku # 56844, June 16, 2017 8:26 pm ET
by df
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