Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

The anxiety
Is payback for wasted time
Wake or decompose
Haiku # 64057, April 21, 2019 1:24 am ET
by Anomalous Poet
Birth canal opens
Mother screams torture of love
Better make her proud
Haiku # 64056, April 21, 2019 1:22 am ET
by Anomalous Poet
Hell basement spiders
Blood gangbang spiritual puke
Death birth second chance
Haiku # 64055, April 21, 2019 1:21 am ET
by Anomalous Poet
Who got the sandals?
There's still some wear left in those
Jesus got big feet
Haiku # 64054, April 21, 2019 12:26 am ET
by Size hello there
Grandpa loved wild birds
They perched on his stiff penis
Until it went limp
Haiku # 64053, April 21, 2019 12:24 am ET
by Bad Seed
They had hankerings
They were first cousins. So what?
Nothing wrong with that
Haiku # 64052, April 21, 2019 12:22 am ET
by Urges
Christ's resurrection --
still, Darth's thinkin' with his dick.
Some things never change . . .
Haiku # 64051, April 20, 2019 10:40 pm ET
by Who is that TTGFP ? of I wanted to thank her/him
Approximately
Give or take a few inches
You got a small one
Haiku # 64050, April 20, 2019 4:50 pm ET
by Ruler of the world
Look at it this way
Haiku keeps your mind active
A worthwhile pastime
Haiku # 64049, April 20, 2019 3:25 pm ET
by William Nippress
Hippopotamus
Pygmy Hippopotamus
Which one makes more poop?
Haiku # 64048, April 20, 2019 2:56 pm ET
by Quiz
one day you will see
Haiku is a waste of time
Masturbate instead
Haiku # 64047, April 20, 2019 2:41 pm ET
by Former poet of Washing hands
Crusty bloody scabs
Keep them as souvenirs
To remember me
Haiku # 64046, April 20, 2019 2:37 pm ET
by Exududent debris
Go ahead, eat ham.
It keeps the Muslims away.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 64045, April 20, 2019 10:23 am ET
by TTGFP
The Pagan puff-ball
bearing psychedelic eggs.
Praise be to Jesus!

Spoiled little brats
on quests for tie-dye ova.
Praise be to Jesus!

Little do they know
they had better find Jesus!
Praise His Holy Name!
Haiku # 64044, April 20, 2019 10:20 am ET
by TTGFP
The Easter Bunny
will not save your wretched soul.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 64043, April 20, 2019 10:15 am ET
by TTGFP
The Easter Bunny
did not roll away a rock.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 64042, April 20, 2019 10:14 am ET
by TTGFP
The Easter Bunny
is not real, but Jesus is!
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 64041, April 20, 2019 10:11 am ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess of Ah, but then it's hard to find a marshmallow filled chocolate Jesus on the Cross, now isn't it.
Marie Antoinette
Stopped sucking my dick one day
Never found out why
Haiku # 64040, April 20, 2019 9:29 am ET
by End of The world
Get down on your knees
Pray.. Stand up..Pray. Stand up. Pray.
Stand up. Pray. Stand up
Haiku # 64039, April 20, 2019 8:04 am ET
by Stan D. Upanishad of No toucha da mushrooms
Due to drain problem,
Goddess had to call plumber.
Man fixed it for her.
Haiku # 64038, April 20, 2019 6:20 am ET
by Goddess needs a Babysitter or next Weekend
You have overused
That old John-Boy Walton shtick.
Find some new content.
Haiku # 64037, April 20, 2019 6:09 am ET
by Goodnight, Haiku of Harmonica Melody
John Boy Walton's Mole
Looking forward to baked ham
With all the fixings
Haiku # 64036, April 20, 2019 3:02 am ET
by God is Good of Walton's Mountain
A block of sharp cheese
Distinct tang reminiscent
Of Grandfather's taint
Haiku # 64035, April 20, 2019 12:16 am ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
The monster rattles
the bars of his cage for now.
Jesus help us all!
Haiku # 64034, April 20, 2019 12:03 am ET
by TTGFP
Just ate "Food for The Gods" pastry.
Overrated.
Glad I'll burn in hell.... Okay, back to vacation.
Haiku # 64033, April 19, 2019 11:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
He followed the rules
Only beat off in his room
Drowned in the spew
Haiku # 64032, April 19, 2019 11:58 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
A meatless marriage
Not enough for leftovers
Unsatisfying
Haiku # 64031, April 19, 2019 11:55 pm ET
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
So... Looking for a dish drying rack. You know, the kind you set by the side of the sink and put the dishes and silverware in it to dry that drips down and drains into the sink. Really fucking simple, yeah. But it's nowhere to be found. I mean, all these dish drying racks all just have a tub under them and don't allow the water to drain off. I mean, how fucking stupid can these Asians be?! Seriously! Something so basic, so standard, so obvious in how it should work, how it should be designed. They can't do it. Why?! Why?! WHY!?!?!!????!!!!!!!
Bunch of fucking backwards primitive barbarians!
I should have moved to Europe.
Spiritual note to self for future reincarnations: Don't fuck monkeys. Just don't.
Haiku # 64030, April 19, 2019 11:55 pm ET
by Yes, I lied, 2 weeks not up yet.... bu this is a rant, not a haiku. Deal with it you weird motherfuckers.
Don't have a condom?
Use aluminum foil
Will keep your meat fresh
Haiku # 64029, April 19, 2019 11:37 pm ET
by Short of Breath
Sidle up to bar
And vomiting poetry
Drinking Bad Haiku
Haiku # 64028, April 19, 2019 11:24 pm ET
by Anomalous Poet
were all going to die 5-7-5
Haiku # 64027, April 19, 2019 11:21 pm ET
by WATERGAZED of ARARATTHEMOUNT
You cheat at haiku
If you count your syllables
It's 5-7-5
Haiku # 64026, April 19, 2019 10:08 pm ET
by That' my phone number I just met u of Call me maybe
Hey get over it
Somebody cheated on you
Guess what? No one cares
Haiku # 64025, April 19, 2019 10:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Go slaughter a ham
Pull the leg off a cute lamb
Candy:Fill your face
Haiku # 64024, April 19, 2019 10:00 pm ET
by Chinese Factory Workers of Laughing Jag
Next door liar breathing in the same house ..can't wait till you're found out you'll die too silly wabbit
Haiku # 64023, April 19, 2019 9:58 pm ET
by Dog on the leash of In the end uend
You a fucking liar and aren't one with shit...you in your rotting flesh soter..plotolmy...u traded everything. Cast yourself down into the abyss for it and took others with you.
Haiku # 64022, April 19, 2019 9:56 pm ET
by Yourcousinsbloodforamakeupline of DontTellLies
Peck peck peck... you rang?
The Easter Cassowary
Coming right for ya!!
Haiku # 64021, April 19, 2019 9:56 pm ET
by Peck peck peck
Power flows brightly
Flightless bird communicates
Silence falls nothing
Haiku # 64020, April 19, 2019 9:54 pm ET
by Ground Owl of Burrow
I am one with Him.
This is my body and blood.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 64019, April 19, 2019 9:42 pm ET
by TTGFP
I got it God wins
He did a good -- no, great job.
Praise forevermore.
Haiku # 64018, April 19, 2019 9:40 pm ET
by Everything a filthy lie except the Gospel of Yeshua Christos
You got it u win...good job.
Haiku # 64017, April 19, 2019 9:07 pm ET
by Truthseekers of DontTellLies
Ok ok u falsely won have more fun one of these days you're done
Haiku # 64016, April 19, 2019 8:58 pm ET
by You full of shit a piece of shit insides are shit dildoed up in shit of Yourbackhole
It's always "Easter".
Phuck the eggs and bunnies
Christ is Lord. Amen.
Haiku # 64015, April 19, 2019 8:19 pm ET
by React to this, Recycled Garbage Souls of Condemnation
Traitors exposed this time don't cry when u lose deserving of the noose
Haiku # 64014, April 19, 2019 7:53 pm ET
by Hilo of Mito
Good Friday six pack
C'mon youse sit back and watch
The crucifixion
Haiku # 64013, April 19, 2019 7:19 pm ET
by Couch potato of Couch sitting next to a ghost
Youse is a sinner
God and Jesus yeah as if
You know those two dudes
Haiku # 64012, April 19, 2019 7:16 pm ET
by Dumb and Dumberer
Bitch I'm going to use your uggs to remove your trachea
Haiku # 64011, April 19, 2019 6:58 pm ET
by Jamaican Reptillian Fake Bait of Island Burning
But when I come back
I plan on wearing some Uggs
Then, I'll rapture youse
Haiku # 64010, April 19, 2019 6:51 pm ET
by J C of Made u look
Speaking on behalf
Of jesuschristalmighty
"sandals are comfy"
Haiku # 64009, April 19, 2019 6:48 pm ET
by Spokesperson
anus coming, who?
Comment Allez-void, hemorrhoid
So, avoid the Noid
Haiku # 64008, April 19, 2019 6:44 pm ET
by Domino of Lord have Mercy
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