BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
18 Years
260 Days
and
52786 Haikus
later...
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Events in Phuket
Haiku #52786, by Events in Phuket of uae
July 30, 2015 12:47 pm ET

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Haiku #52785, by ototototo of solo
July 30, 2015 11:31 am ET

Fucking computer.
"Please re-enter your password."
Re-enter my ass!
Haiku #52784, by DF
July 30, 2015 9:20 am ET

What is that sweet song?
The ronin had eaten beans.
Does your nose not work?
Haiku #52783, by DF
July 29, 2015 6:37 pm ET

haiku sweet haiku
onanistic idiom
take us as we come
Haiku #52782, by ash
July 29, 2015 3:09 am ET

I want to burn all
poems that begin with "I".
Self-centered garbage!
Haiku #52781, by DF
July 28, 2015 10:20 pm ET

I don't remember.
Is your mom a jelly fish?
Maybe I was drunk.
Haiku #52780, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2015 10:17 pm ET

The talking dog said,
"Darth Figpucker touched your mom,"
and then I woke up.
Haiku #52779, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2015 9:44 pm ET

What did the dogs say?
Was it a symposium
on the Higgs boson?

We don't need numbers.
They can be represented
by spatial figures.

The operators
take on entirely new
whatchamacallits.

The thingy-ma-jigs
are brutally randomized
like your mom's boyfriends.
Haiku #52778, by DF
July 28, 2015 5:23 pm ET

our moist tongues explore
then I wake, soaked on the lawn
your sprinklers are on
Haiku #52777, by vince
July 28, 2015 3:20 pm ET

Howdy there stranger.
Want to hear about my dream?
It had talking dogs.
Haiku #52776, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2015 12:59 am ET

night ends on a truce
we sleep by dying embers
and trade warmth for dreams
Haiku #52775, by vince
July 27, 2015 4:44 pm ET

night ends on a truce
we sleep by dying embers and trade warmth for dreams
Haiku #52774, by vince
July 27, 2015 4:41 pm ET

Ash, you crack me up.
Laughter's much needed these days.
Damn the government.
Haiku #52773, by Anonymous Poet
July 26, 2015 1:57 pm ET

trim my turbinates
ream my nasal ostia
do it till i bleed
Haiku #52772, by ash
July 26, 2015 2:32 am ET

Cincinnati Reds
New York Knicks, Dallas Cowboys
Edmonton Oilers
Haiku #52771, by Overpaid Atheletes
July 26, 2015 1:18 am ET

I understand, Ash.
I was also raped by the
school librarian.
Haiku #52770, by Anonymous Poet
July 25, 2015 4:12 pm ET

Give away your stuff.
A computer and surfboard;
this is all you need.
Haiku #52769, by Anonymous Poet
July 25, 2015 4:07 pm ET

long words are okay
as they accurately paint
my recent trauma
Haiku #52768, by ash
July 25, 2015 12:33 am ET

The use of large words
do not make for good haiku;
simplicity's lost.

And I'm forced to use
the Google dictionary.
Septoplasty porn!

Damn your big vocab.!
Some things cannot be unseen.
It's all your fault, ash!
Haiku #52767, by Anonymous Poet
July 24, 2015 2:25 pm ET

so predictably
the pain of septoplasty
is nostril dharma
Haiku #52766, by ash
July 23, 2015 8:08 pm ET

rotten ocean air
wafting like old walrus farts
assaulting nostrils
Haiku #52765, by Grontor
July 23, 2015 1:13 am ET

Mad men make moonshine
Sad sisters selling sunshine
Bad beatnik bongos
Haiku #52764, by Anonymous Poet
July 22, 2015 11:35 pm ET

This ain't calculus.
Food is neither tangential
nor is it for thought.

Please focus your mind.
Find meaning in the chaos.
You will see it's there.

Post pics of you wife
in her bra and underwear
then get back to me.
Haiku #52763, by Anonymous Poet
July 21, 2015 2:36 pm ET

it isn't just me
says clang association
isn't poetry

in australia
psychiatrists might compare
echolalia

but is this valid ?
or tangential food for thought
eat my word salad
Haiku #52762, by ash
July 21, 2015 10:21 am ET

I'm sublime in grime.
Give a dime to the lime mime.
It's no crime to rhyme.

(But it should be.)

Climb slime prime-time chime
"Parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme."
El-Garfunk On-Sim.
Haiku #52761, by Darth Figpucker of "evi1 - a novel about you" and your momma too
July 20, 2015 10:35 am ET

if rhymes go askew
honourable thing to do
haiku seppuku
Haiku #52760, by ash
July 20, 2015 9:50 am ET

Now don't you forget
Rhyming can lead to regret
Making you upset
Haiku #52759, by Anonymous Poet
July 20, 2015 12:55 am ET


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Haiku #52758, by Anonymous Poet of USA
July 19, 2015 8:33 am ET

Should my Haiku rhyme
Yes if I just had the time
I could make it rhyme
Haiku #52757, by Shirley Smothers
July 18, 2015 11:05 pm ET

God does not love you.
Do not pretend to love God;
He will hate you more.
Haiku #52756, by Anonymous Poet
July 17, 2015 8:08 pm ET

roasted polar bear
with a side of spotted owl
My favorite meal!
Haiku #52755, by Mandingo Ebola
July 17, 2015 6:15 pm ET

International
pig-fucking competition
concession stand snacks.

Chitlins are nasty
but so are the contestants.
Can I get mayo?
Haiku #52754, by df of over your head
July 17, 2015 4:38 pm ET

Were you expecting
that polar bears would survive
man-made extinction?!
Haiku #52753, by df
July 17, 2015 12:38 pm ET

Polar bears vanish.
Forest fires. Record heat waves
Dead bees on my porch.
Haiku #52752, by Tired of it all
July 17, 2015 12:39 am ET

What's more disturbing
than pregnant retarded girls?
I am at a loss.
Haiku #52751, by Anonymous Poet
July 16, 2015 4:14 pm ET

Here's the solution.
We must kill all the people.
We'll have lots of food.

Start with Africa.
Then, of course, we'll hit China.
And then India.

The problem is solved.
Now go write a bad haiku
about politics.
Haiku #52750, by df
July 16, 2015 4:10 pm ET

You had enough words
to write a proper haiku
yet failed to make it
Haiku #52749, by Anonymous Poet
July 16, 2015 12:45 am ET

We have enough food
to feed all of the people
and yet some starve
Haiku #52748, by Tired of it all
July 15, 2015 10:05 pm ET

But I love mornings.
I also wish you were drunk.
Then I could fuck you.
Haiku #52747, by Anonymous Poet
July 15, 2015 7:08 pm ET

I hate mornings.
I wish I was drunk.
Fuck.
Haiku #52746, by Sherman of mexico
July 15, 2015 2:12 pm ET

She is like hot pants
freshly out of the dryer
on winter morning
Haiku #52745, by Anonymous Poet
July 15, 2015 12:26 am ET

Success, more or less,
is difficult to express
making me depressed
Haiku #52744, by Anonymous Poet
July 14, 2015 12:50 am ET

Shit-covered dildo.
Maggots in your underwear.
Arby's sandwiches.
Haiku #52743, by Anonymous Poet
July 13, 2015 3:12 pm ET

I like ping-pong games.
I once saw one in Thailand.
That girl could work it!

She wasn't impressed
When I had shot the ball back.
Jealous lady-boys.
Haiku #52742, by Darth Figpucker
July 13, 2015 2:05 pm ET

I say one haiku
I hope to hear one response
Haiku ping pong game
Haiku #52741, by ronin
July 13, 2015 11:43 am ET

I write badder but
The era of literacy
Is all about code
Haiku #52740, by ronin
July 13, 2015 11:29 am ET

Jarred starts and ends
his sandwich-eating career
getting in small pants.
Haiku #52739, by Darth Figpucker
July 13, 2015 10:39 am ET

Men who eat pussy
Are known as pussy-eaters.
Or just lesbians.
Haiku #52738, by Anonymous Poet
July 13, 2015 10:35 am ET

So if she know the
Websites grow old regulars stale
Like a pub crawls down
Haiku #52737, by ronin
July 13, 2015 1:56 am ET