BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
33 Days
and
61286 Haikus
later...
TOO!!!!! TOO stiff to wipe!
Jesus Christ, dude, so don't wipe.
It's overrated.
Haiku #61286, by
December 15, 2018 11:32 am ET

Thank you for wiping
I've got smelly arthritis
Arms to stiff to wipe
Haiku #61285, by Wilma Butteverbeclean of Latrine
December 15, 2018 7:15 am ET

When they frogmarch him
And his roadkill comb over
Straight to the Slammer
Haiku #61284, by Citizen of USA
December 15, 2018 7:11 am ET

Whose
Haiku #61283, by Whoozit of Starkitten
December 14, 2018 11:32 pm ET

who's stains are those?
I think I know
His house is in the Phillipines, though
He will not see me here watching his pants fill up with flow (fecal)
Haiku #61282, by Robert Frostfucker of Starkitten's Yurt
December 14, 2018 11:31 pm ET

The stains are well known.
There's nothing mysterious
about them at all.

Their circumference
directly proportional
to time on my ass.
Haiku #61281, by Anonymous Poet
December 14, 2018 10:54 pm ET

You should boof my verse
to properly absorb it.
Shove it up your ass.

You're missing out with
olfactory absorption.
Fecal transplant fad.

You need some of my
dark side midichlorians
in your intestines.

Bend over and take
my vowels in your bowels.
The consonants too.
Haiku #61280, by df of incontinent consonants
December 14, 2018 6:58 pm ET

Protractor in hand
Measuring something smelly
Mysterious stains
Haiku #61279, by Mathematical wizard of Study Hall
December 14, 2018 6:52 pm ET

How to read Darth's verse:
Empty lungs.Shut eyes. Close mouth.
Inhale stench through nose.
Haiku #61278, by olfactory phylactery of limbic limbo
December 14, 2018 6:31 pm ET

How to measure farts
One Mississippi, Two Mis..
Count until smell's gone
Haiku #61277, by +-4% margin of error of Downwind
December 14, 2018 4:49 pm ET

Flat Stanley, you tool!
Peel you like Silly Putty
The Funny Papers
Haiku #61276, by Rollaboner of Woods behind the mall
December 14, 2018 4:40 pm ET

Pewdiepie oopsie?
Not necessarily so
The media sucks
Haiku #61275, by Kokichi Ouma of under the hydraulic press
December 14, 2018 3:49 pm ET

Oink oink oink oink oink
Oink oink oink oink oink oink oink
Oink oink oink oink fart
Haiku #61274, by Pigfarter of Trough
December 14, 2018 12:23 pm ET

Pavlov's dull response
salivate then ring my bell
your welcome to hell
Haiku #61273, by Anonymous Poet
December 13, 2018 9:43 am ET

That B.F. Skinner
was such a clever fellow
(conditionally)
Haiku #61272, by Anonymous Poet
December 13, 2018 9:37 am ET

Aquaman's hard cock
impregnated a dolphin
and three manatees.
Haiku #61271, by
December 13, 2018 6:44 am ET

Bea Arthur's warm cunt
Golden sleeve dong hideaway
Hormones imbalanced
Haiku #61270, by Schpunkhound
December 13, 2018 5:01 am ET

Personal Fart Churn
Yank yank yank just turn the crank
Large curdled butt curds
Haiku #61269, by Maniacal Laughter
December 13, 2018 4:53 am ET

Nudist Colony
Have to make sure you wipe good
Or they will shun you
Haiku #61268, by Poopstain
December 13, 2018 4:50 am ET

Um, no, not had them.
I am a gut parasite
What's it to ya, bud?
Haiku #61267, by Wankward Q. Flagellum of Queefington Township
December 13, 2018 4:47 am ET

Have you ever had
intestinal parasites?
Worms or otherwise?
Haiku #61266, by
December 13, 2018 3:33 am ET

Who writes these poems?
Where do they get their ideas?
I can't think up one
Haiku #61265, by Anonymous Poet
December 13, 2018 2:11 am ET

Grandma's got a gun
So you better eat your pie
And get your chores done
Haiku #61264, by Grandma of Kitchen
December 12, 2018 11:55 pm ET

Moist is moist. Moisture.
Moist is moist. Moisturizer.
Moist is moist. Moisten.
Haiku #61263, by Wet one
December 12, 2018 11:52 pm ET

The results are in
Your ass stinks more than average
You can't sit with us
Haiku #61262, by Diners of Restaurant
December 12, 2018 10:57 pm ET

Lone mountain goat spew
Chasing the cyclists. Full moon
National Forest

Bears drinking bike grease
Masturbating in bushes
Your tax dough at work
Haiku #61261, by Onlooker
December 12, 2018 10:54 pm ET

Bending over now
Releasing menthane cargo
Fartmuscleworkout
Haiku #61260, by Pigfycker
December 12, 2018 10:50 pm ET

Post-modern oceans:
poetry now lost at sea.
Muse overboard! (retch)
Haiku #61259, by Anonymous Poet
December 12, 2018 9:47 pm ET

Outhouse bear attack
Only a matter of time
Til it happens, mate.
Haiku #61258, by Expert
December 12, 2018 6:41 am ET

One lone mountain pine
Reflected in moonlight lake . . .
Darth takes a huge shit
Haiku #61257, by meant to say "peristaltic" of Peristalsis
December 12, 2018 4:38 am ET

Chuck and Nancy show:
Talking shit in the White House.
Think words as feces . . .
Haiku #61256, by Persitaltic Contractions of Elimination
December 12, 2018 4:34 am ET

It's Evidence Based
Results-Focused best practice:
Outcome-Driven shit.
Haiku #61255, by professional objectives of objectionable perspectives
December 12, 2018 4:28 am ET

Where's the poetry?
Come on, sit on the toilet
Shit out a big Ode
Haiku #61254, by Anonymous Poet
December 12, 2018 12:16 am ET

He
Haiku #61253, by Anonymous Poet
December 11, 2018 4:24 pm ET

Our prayers are answered
He
Haiku #61252, by Buddy Butt Brown of Stinkytown
December 11, 2018 4:24 pm ET

Watching zit popping.
Satisfying YouTube vids.
Like cream puffs gone bad.

"Excremeditation of Recrudescence"

That's original.
All I can say is "Fuck yeah!"
Shit is what you'll get.

Life is only shit.
Poems are life's reflections.
Mirrors smeared with shit.

Write "You are special!"
on bathroom walls of Starbuck's
with fecal smearing.
Haiku #61251, by Go! Do it now! By orders of General Darth Figpucker, High Commander of Aesthetic Asault, 9th Level of Hell Battalion
December 11, 2018 3:37 pm ET

Hey weird Uncle Darth-
Can you release more Haiku?
Put shit in them please.
Haiku #61250, by Excremeditation of Recrudescence
December 11, 2018 2:45 pm ET

Think about it, k
The ark story. Kinda nuts.
Who believes that crap?
Haiku #61249, by Anonymous Poet
December 11, 2018 12:50 am ET

Be wary, very..
Dagger Toed Cassowary
That bird is scary
Haiku #61248, by Anonymous Poet
December 11, 2018 12:20 am ET

When it swallows you
Regurgitates your poems
Poops out a haiku
Haiku #61247, by Person of Nature
December 10, 2018 9:27 pm ET

Huge saltwater croc.
Eats alligators for snacks.
And, yes, poets too.
Haiku #61246, by Assqueef Ass of Cuntfart cunt's cousin (on mother's side).
December 10, 2018 7:45 pm ET

Create Haiku Here
Dare other so called poets
To attempt the art
Haiku #61245, by Poet of On high
December 10, 2018 4:50 pm ET

Alligator dink
Always erect. On a spring.
Did God think that up?
Haiku #61244, by God is Good of At weird shit
December 10, 2018 12:43 am ET

Oversized gator
I want you to be my friend
But you walk right by

I can't blame you though
Every time we've met, by chance
I have crapped my pants
Haiku #61243, by Scared
December 9, 2018 10:16 pm ET

The answer is yes.
Oversized alligators
exist, and you're high.

Perhaps try rehab.
You must quit boofing bath salts.
Eat gator gumbo.
Haiku #61242, by
December 9, 2018 8:43 pm ET

Night of the Grizzly
Wake up covered with scratches
Where is my honey?
Haiku #61241, by Hungry Bear
December 9, 2018 8:16 pm ET

Drink Worcestershire Sauce
It's good for what ails you, dude
Unwrap the flavor
Haiku #61240, by Lea and Perrins
December 9, 2018 8:14 pm ET

Do you believe them?
Oversized alligators
Florida golf course

Photoshop, no?
Or am I high on bath salts?
Need to know the Truth
Haiku #61239, by Confused
December 9, 2018 8:12 pm ET

Dumb Amerikans:
You must start writing Haiku.
Future waits on you.
Haiku #61238, by put that in yr smite and poke it.
December 9, 2018 3:52 pm ET

Fa La La La La
La La La La. Hark the
Haiku angels sing . . .
Haiku #61237, by Anonymous Poet
December 9, 2018 2:02 pm ET