BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
17 Years
307 Days
and
51284 Haikus
later...
Yup, I can not count
I can't spell too good either
Plus my grammar sucks
Haiku #51284, by Mandingo Ebola
September 15, 2014 7:04 pm ET

Delete
51261
51262
51277-51281
And this one.
Haiku #51283, by Anonymous Poet
September 15, 2014 6:10 pm ET

Goodbye Goodbye, OUT!
Be gone, go away, vamoose!
Spam is too fatty!
Haiku #51282, by Death to Spammers of terre haute federal correctional institution
September 15, 2014 6:00 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #51281, by rpuopiii of USA
September 15, 2014 5:49 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #51280, by wottiuur of USA
September 15, 2014 5:45 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #51279, by utwewyue of USA
September 15, 2014 5:11 pm ET

Haiku #51278, by wottiuur of USA
September 15, 2014 3:49 pm ET


Okay! Time for work.
I will drink lots of coffee.
Paid by your taxes.

"Coffee! Far sweeter than a thousand kisses." Or so says J. S. Bach in his opera Cafe Cantata.
Haiku #51276, by Thanks for the coffee!
September 15, 2014 1:07 pm ET

VHS's folks
had a child before him:
VHS beta.
Haiku #51275, by I'm so punny!
September 15, 2014 12:55 pm ET

The Green Solution:
Recycle the elderly.
In line VHS!
Haiku #51274, by Anonymous Poet
September 15, 2014 12:53 pm ET

There is no breakdown.
If it don't work, it can't break.
Life! It's just stupid.
Haiku #51273, by Your Robot Overlord of Los Alamos National Laboratory
September 15, 2014 12:49 pm ET

We see the breakdown
Of a life here but it is
Tragic to witness
Haiku #51272, by vhs
September 15, 2014 11:50 am ET

Fuck, now I can't count.
See what you did, Mandingo!
This is all your fault!
Haiku #51271, by Anonymous Poet
September 14, 2014 12:43 pm ET

Get free date rape drugs.
With two orders of Cialis
get a free roofie!
Haiku #51270, by Anonymous Poet
September 14, 2014 12:42 pm ET

You know what I like?
Raping pit bulls with parvo.
Better than ice cream.
Haiku #51269, by Anonymous Poet
September 14, 2014 12:39 pm ET

Mandingo can't count.
Look at the second sentence.
There's eight syllables.
Haiku #51268, by Haiku Nazi Fart Breath
September 14, 2014 12:36 pm ET

Payday pawn shop heist
Didn't get away with much loot,
but I learned to love
Haiku #51266, by Mandingo Ebola
September 14, 2014 3:12 am ET

Asking for trouble
While begging for forgiveness
Twisted up real good
Haiku #51265, by Anonymous Poet
September 13, 2014 7:54 pm ET

Well, you say "hello".
But I say "goodbye", goodbye,
Goodbye and so on.

In hell the pill spammers will be afflicted with permanent erections and forced to have sex with Hillary Clinton, Barbara Bush, Opera Winfrey, and Osama Bin Laden non-stop.
Haiku #51263, by Anonymous Poet
September 13, 2014 6:16 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #51262, by wooetert of USA
September 13, 2014 12:43 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #51261, by iteeepor of USA
September 13, 2014 12:43 pm ET

I shave my balls too.
I sold my folks to Kenny.
And I ate my pubes.
Haiku #51247, by Darth Figpucker of waiting for next season
September 10, 2014 5:55 pm ET

My balls are shaven.
I sold my pubes to Cartman.
I ate my parents.
Haiku #51246, by Scott Tennerman
September 10, 2014 5:51 pm ET

Relevant events
Concerning pink elephants
What hope represents
Haiku #51244, by Croctadactyle
September 10, 2014 12:55 am ET

it is time to sleep
i must depart for the night
don't feel sad feel glad
Haiku #51243, by sean
September 9, 2014 11:54 pm ET

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
ha ha he he ho
Haiku #51242, by Anonymous Poet
September 9, 2014 11:51 pm ET

it is time to sleep
i must depart for the
don't feel sad feel glad
Haiku #51241, by sean
September 9, 2014 11:47 pm ET

i know i love you
never shall i ever stop
william shatner
Haiku #51240, by sean
September 9, 2014 11:45 pm ET

everyone's writing
haiku's and i'm just sitting
here masturbating
Haiku #51239, by sean
September 9, 2014 11:30 pm ET

how much can i fit
into a haiku format
oh no im out of
Haiku #51238, by sean
September 9, 2014 11:27 pm ET

my corn hole is loose
with no thanks to your small dick
i should really stop
Haiku #51237, by sean
September 9, 2014 11:21 pm ET

Why not LSD?
lets eat some shrooms you ass wipe
not gay boner pills
Haiku #51236, by sean
September 9, 2014 11:18 pm ET

Lubrication is
A means of making things work
His is grease Mine? Blood
Haiku #51235, by sean
September 9, 2014 11:10 pm ET

shut your fucking face
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
i'm getting lazy
Haiku #51233, by sean
September 9, 2014 10:53 pm ET

Ass full of pork fat
jiggles like a jello mold
mouth is flapping to
Haiku #51232, by sean
September 9, 2014 10:45 pm ET

you are nasty whore
eat shit and die nasty skank
Emily whore breath
Haiku #51231, by sean
September 9, 2014 10:40 pm ET

I need to go poop.
But I'm writing these haiku.
Too late, shat myself.
Haiku #51230, by sean
September 9, 2014 10:33 pm ET

My penis is GOD!
Yes, it is wholly holy.
And it has a hole.

Out of which comes cum.
It is not some, but a bunch.
And it is your lunch.
Haiku #51229, by Anonymous Poet
September 9, 2014 2:31 pm ET

Humans are evil.
Share an ebola cola.
In New York City.
Haiku #51221, by Anonymous Poet
September 8, 2014 5:58 pm ET

Nothing more to say.
Nothing more to do with you.
Time for you to leave.
Haiku #51220, by Blake
September 8, 2014 1:16 am ET

Hell show in slow mo
Fighting and alarms return
Just want to get home
Haiku #51219, by Anonymous Poet
September 7, 2014 5:00 am ET

It is all over
So drunk I can't make poems
Instead I use air
Haiku #51218, by Mandingo
September 7, 2014 4:38 am ET

Corn running too late
Fall will freeze it on the stalk
Global Warming please
Haiku #51217, by Mandingo
September 7, 2014 3:28 am ET

Obsequious sniff
Play bow, then scratchy rolling
Woof! I run away
Haiku #51216, by Mandingo
September 7, 2014 3:21 am ET

Honking in anger
Angry geese attack the crows
A goose gang turf war
Haiku #51210, by Anonymous Poet
September 6, 2014 1:38 am ET

Turpentine sunshine
Bird words drop from me like turds
Splattering unheard
Haiku #51206, by Dog scooting across your new carpet on it's behind
September 5, 2014 12:10 am ET

Now is sleepy time
Ready to relax and rest
Don't need to count sheep
Haiku #51203, by Anonymous Poet
September 4, 2014 12:43 am ET

Phychiatric crap
What
Haiku #51202, by You are sick
September 3, 2014 4:27 pm ET

High school humping date.
Teasing in a coffeehouse.
Back room giggle grope.

I am the witness,
try to mind my own business,
keeping my back turned.

They leave when I fart.
Now I can get back to work.
Black beans are awesome.
Haiku #51194, by Bad Poetry
September 2, 2014 6:02 pm ET