BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
19 Years
286 Days
and
54274 Haikus
later...
I miss you in the night
but you forgot me in the day
heart broken
Haiku #54274, by Nisa of San Jose
August 26, 2016 2:35 am ET

tides of twisted time
washing through us like a wave
beyond our control
Haiku #54273, by Anonymous Poet
August 26, 2016 1:25 am ET

great cornhoolio
is my t-shirt today once
he was popular

now he is but a
face on donation t shirts
at a goodwill store
Haiku #54272, by vhs
August 25, 2016 1:56 pm ET

i'm posting here a
bit to push some of the spam
out of the way now
Haiku #54271, by vhs
August 25, 2016 1:55 pm ET

this internet was
once a novelty but now
it is the zeitgeist
Haiku #54270, by vhs
August 25, 2016 1:45 pm ET

I'm making a lot
of life changes today and
the waiting scares me
Haiku #54269, by vhs
August 25, 2016 1:37 pm ET

i just wish we could
control "hello hello" etc
so posts could be this
Haiku #54268, by vhs
August 25, 2016 1:34 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #54267, by Anonymous Poet of USA
August 24, 2016 7:50 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #54266, by Anonymous Poet of USA
August 24, 2016 7:49 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #54265, by Anonymous Poet of USA
August 24, 2016 7:48 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #54264, by Anonymous Poet of USA
August 24, 2016 7:47 pm ET

james patterson ventures into his darkest climate yet... verse...

james patterson releases lyrics for new song, "better than you", as sung by jack reacher (as portrayed by pitbull)...

james patterson releases retro vinyl album designed to appeal to the young... achieves meta-ironic success...

james patterson begins to sell life-sized realdoll recreations of his famous characters... scenes portrayed with guns begin appearing online...

famous writers rebel against patterson hegemony... put down by lifelike reacherbots...

patterson hegemony splits along lines of reacher/cross schism...

pittsburgh becomes site zero of nuclear warfare as aging writer's cybernetics fail, technology needed for repair lost in great internet fire of 2039...

death falls as giant cockroaches begin swarming out of mutated ohio river... streams of human/robot alliance emerge... put down insects... humanity vows, never again... all bestsellers destroyed

fourteen thousand years later... alien probe uncovers unburnt copy of "private paris"... infection spreads to interstellar reach... abstract patterforms begin emerging from depths of dead space..
Haiku #54263, by peter of pgh
August 24, 2016 6:15 pm ET

I typically watch
What What in the Butt and stuff
like that to laugh at.

Seriously, though,
I still like Tool's videos,
but they need new ones!

Haven't heard new bands
that I am ape shit over
in a long long time.

Old age settle in.
A squatter I cant evict.
I should surf naked.

Beats chasing young sluts.
Pregnant girls or diseases.
Ain't got time for that!
Haiku #54262, by df
August 24, 2016 2:13 pm ET

watching videos
on youtube with weird band names
cannibal corpse? well

they're not that good but
toad the wet sprocket those guys
are actually good
Haiku #54261, by vhs
August 24, 2016 11:33 am ET

it's like anything that
goes on for years and years there's
a last straw that breaks
Haiku #54260, by vhs
August 23, 2016 10:40 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #54259, by Anonymous Poet of USA
August 23, 2016 6:43 pm ET

well there was a band
called Garbage but they were quite
actually not bad
Haiku #54258, by ronin
August 23, 2016 11:44 am ET

It is all garbage.
Absolute fucking garbage.
All that is on here.
Haiku #54257, by Anonymous Poet of USA
August 23, 2016 9:33 am ET

Haiku #54256, by andrew of londer
August 23, 2016 5:57 am ET

Hey would you mind letting me know which web host you're working with? I've loaded your blog in 3 completely different internet browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good internet hosting provider at a fair price? Kudos, I appreciate it!
Haiku #54255, by uoeyyurp of USA
August 23, 2016 1:51 am ET

Hey would you mind letting me know which web host you're working with? I've loaded your blog in 3 completely different internet browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good internet hosting provider at a fair price? Kudos, I appreciate it!
Haiku #54254, by ryertyyo of USA
August 23, 2016 1:51 am ET

Goodbye!
Haiku #54253, by Anonymous Poet
August 22, 2016 10:23 pm ET

The thing about Christ.
Few see his true miracle.
That of acceptance.
Haiku #54252, by df
August 22, 2016 10:22 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #54251, by Anonymous Poet of USA
August 22, 2016 3:42 pm ET

well you know the whole
Christianity thing does have a
shit ton of loopholes

the whole grace thing but
one can't treat the Pearl like a
wooden nickel see...

and yes I've prayed for you, just for you know better relations and all that...Janis might go wait no religious stuff on...

i miss 'em
Haiku #54250, by vhs
August 22, 2016 12:45 pm ET


Kill the manager.
Paint the walls with your feces.
Claim insanity.

Go on Oprah's show.
Write a book about it all.
Get money and chicks.
Haiku #54248, by df
August 22, 2016 10:28 am ET

Monday morning blues
So depressed I can't tie my shoes
I hate my shit job
Haiku #54247, by Anonymous Poet
August 22, 2016 9:02 am ET

The only bad thing
about Christianity
is all the taboos.

No sex, drugs, murder,
adultery, or even
coveting others' stuff.

What a lame belief!
I think I'll become Muslim.
Allah Akbar, y'all!

Can I keep my pigs?
I guess if I don't eat them.
I think it's okay.
Haiku #54246, by DF
August 21, 2016 8:38 pm ET

I'm Christian PF
We've been going at this for
years in some way or

another, but you
know Mike Meyers Cawfee Tawk
and you know who that

comes up at every
damn encounter with "Christians"
gotta know em and

I just can't keep up
with your own writing, I'd like
to, when it doesn't

fuck with things it's fun
words slip in and slip out as
you can see right there

icing the knee, and
trying to get people to
join me on this site
Haiku #54245, by vhs
August 21, 2016 1:37 pm ET

I am also shocked.
You are not Jewish, are you?
I mean, it's okay.

Oy vay and all that.
Or as they say on the ranch,
Yup, Oy vay, y'all.

Yes, it's a hog ranch.
Bacon on a rye bagel.
Like ham at Easter.

Suuueeeeyyyy! Already yet!
They don't call me Figpucker
For nothin', y'know.

Drunk on Kosher wine.
The hangovers are the worst.
I'd rather snort meth.

Tomorrow's topic:
Strange drugs that you may have tried.
Or even heard of.
Haiku #54244, by DF
August 20, 2016 1:14 pm ET

once again i am all
verklempt not knowing how to
respond, and then some
Haiku #54243, by vhs
August 20, 2016 12:08 pm ET

*It !!!!
*It just passed us right on by.
(shitty keyboard.)
Haiku #54242, by Anonymous Poet
August 20, 2016 7:14 am ET

Bad Poetry Day.
I just passed us right on by.
No body loves us.
Haiku #54241, by Anonymous Poet
August 20, 2016 7:14 am ET

The SPAM can respond?!
Well fuck me running sideways.
It's now self-aware!
Haiku #54240, by Anonymous Poet
August 20, 2016 7:12 am ET

V Tight Gel is one of the vaginal tighening products distributed by Dermology. It is designed as a all-natural formula & claims to be completely safe and effective
Haiku #54239, by V Tight Gel of California, USA
August 20, 2016 5:00 am ET

V Tight Gel is one of the vaginal tighening products distributed by Dermology. It is designed as a all-natural formula & claims to be completely safe and effective
http://vtightgelreviewer.com/
Haiku #54238, by V Tight Gel of USA
August 20, 2016 4:59 am ET

Olympic ping-pong.
The human race needs to die.
It is clenching proof.

Olympic butt-sex,
That's a possibility,
but fucking ping-pong?!

Butt-fucking ping-pong.
Asshole ping-pong ball shooting.
Just like Mexico.

Mexico takes gold.
Then Thailand takes the silver.
USA gets bronze.

She's done it again!
Her 3rd Olympic medal.
Kaitlyn Jenner's great!
Haiku #54237, by Darth Figpucker
August 19, 2016 11:27 pm ET

When it was over,
he wished he'd fucked a sandwich.
Or a burrito.
Haiku #54236, by df
August 19, 2016 7:08 pm ET

It reminds him of
Arby's roast beef sandwiches
with a horrid stench.

That ain't horsey sauce.
It could use some vinegar.
It made him queasy.

It is just like when
you eat fresh made wasabi;
don't breathe through your nose.
Haiku #54235, by Anonymous Poet
August 19, 2016 6:56 pm ET

The monster's breath reeks.
Just like your wife's vagina.
Oh, that's what it is.
Haiku #54234, by df
August 19, 2016 6:47 pm ET

Tiny little dick.
Enormous cunt with sharp teeth.
Balls will miss their friend.
Haiku #54233, by Darth Figpucker -- the worst of all bad "poets".
August 19, 2016 6:45 pm ET

Cigars won't kill you.
They are only unhealthy
if you breathe their smoke.

Instead smoke ganja.
Marijuana cures cancer.
My friend's friend's grandma...

If there were no "if"
mathematicians would die.
If "if" were outlawed.

Big O, little o.
The big IF and little if.
Huge cunt, tiny dick.
Haiku #54232, by I am not myself; the monster has control.
August 19, 2016 2:59 pm ET

I am no poet!
I never claimed to be one.
I am just a bitch.
Haiku #54231, by Darth Figpucker
August 19, 2016 2:49 pm ET

i often think I
want the props of intellect
cigar in one hand

puffing away, poke
the old words on a page but
i just wash dishes
Haiku #54230, by vhs
August 19, 2016 1:01 pm ET

this is a long on
going conversation for
two poets bitching
Haiku #54229, by vhs
August 19, 2016 11:42 am ET

Thanks for the time of my life. Will really recommend you as far as I go. phenq
http://www.phenqsale.com/
Haiku #54228, by shella james of usa
August 19, 2016 7:35 am ET

Google Fruit are gay.
They're more gay than Bruce Jenner.
Can fruit change its sex?
Haiku #54227, by df
August 19, 2016 6:44 am ET

I've been hovering
over a marriage I've had
too long, but have kids.

Never get married
if her mother is too fat
'cause she'll look the same.

Never mind all that.
Better just don't get married.
Just be a man whore.
Haiku #54226, by df
August 18, 2016 10:19 pm ET

i've been hovering
over a job i've had too long
yet can't let it go
Haiku #54225, by vhs
August 18, 2016 1:03 pm ET