BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
18 Years
288 Days
52852 Haikus
But Obama's hot.
I mean, look at that tight ass.
You know you'd tap that!
Haiku #52852, by Anonymous Poet
August 27, 2015 12:30 pm ET

Monkey poo on rye.
That's African monkey poo.
Served on Jewish rye.
Haiku #52851, by Anonymous Poet
August 26, 2015 9:43 pm ET

idiots in charge
but i didn't vote for them
it's a shit sandwich
Haiku #52847, by ash
August 25, 2015 9:52 am ET

I shart politics
give me something I can eat
then post and repeat
Haiku #52846, by Last Bastion of Freedom
August 23, 2015 4:37 am ET

sunshine and moonbeams
republicans and drag queens
media extremes
Haiku #52845, by Anonymous Poet
August 23, 2015 2:33 am ET

Plea deal:
While he's in prison
he can still get free foot longs
with extra mayo.
Haiku #52844, by DF
August 22, 2015 6:39 am ET

Jared starts and ends
career the exact same way:
getting in small pants.
Haiku #52843, by Darth Figpucker, the Highly Inappropriate
August 22, 2015 6:35 am ET

Jared go to jail
Trading cookies for nookie
That is not right bro
Haiku #52842, by Anonymous Poet
August 22, 2015 12:36 am ET

It does not exist
Not even farts in the wind
No, not even this
Haiku #52841, by Garth Bigpucker
August 21, 2015 10:39 pm ET

It does not matter.
In fact, nothing ever has.
No, not even that.
Haiku #52840, by DF
August 21, 2015 2:15 pm ET

i do not blame you
i don't even blame the shark
those fish are flakey
Haiku #52839, by ash
August 21, 2015 8:38 am ET

Starship Enterprise
Piloted by Polar Bears
Our future awaits
Haiku #52838, by Kitty Pause
August 20, 2015 9:20 pm ET

write me a haiku?
i see now why you didn't
'cuz you suck at it
Haiku #52837, by pcharming of over here
August 20, 2015 6:17 pm ET

Blame me if you please.
Your friend's bro's death is my fault.
Me and my foul bum.
Haiku #52836, by DF
August 20, 2015 12:41 pm ET

You are ignorant.
I mean "man" in general.
"We" have over-fished.


Maybe sharks are mad
because I fart in the sea
when I go swimming.
Haiku #52835, by DF
August 20, 2015 12:36 pm ET

you are ignorant
sharks don't eat abalone
he was a diver
Haiku #52834, by ash
August 20, 2015 11:28 am ET

Janis is lazy.
She does not remove the spam.
I want a refund.
Haiku #52833, by DF
August 20, 2015 10:13 am ET

It is only right.
We eat up all the sharks' food.
So the sharks eat us.
Haiku #52832, by DF
August 20, 2015 10:11 am ET

eaten by a shark
happened to my friend's brother
it was great (the shark)
Haiku #52831, by ash
August 20, 2015 9:18 am ET

Flying like a bird
Pooping anywhere one wants
Liberty defined
Haiku #52830, by Anonymous Poet
August 20, 2015 12:11 am ET

Eaten by a shark.
What an awesome way to die.
I could live with that.
Haiku #52823, by DF
August 18, 2015 11:22 am ET

They who roost in chats
Creating exclusive little
Clubs of fetishes
Haiku #52822, by ronin
August 17, 2015 10:03 pm ET

There once was a square.
All its angles were equal.
The same for its sides.

Then it went crazy.
It killed all the other squares.
And danced in their blood.
Haiku #52821, by Anonymous Poet
August 17, 2015 4:19 pm ET

eye repeat myself
ewe are reading my non cents
sorry, I waste thyme
Haiku #52820, by Anonymous Poet
August 15, 2015 5:56 am ET

you all are cowards
or maybe sleeping right now
we can still be friends
Haiku #52819, by Anonymous Poet
August 15, 2015 5:49 am ET

eye found my posting
informative and useful
visit my web sight
Haiku #52818, by Fran Drescher Ricola
August 15, 2015 3:00 am ET

howdy there sexy
can we play tic tac toe tags?
i get to go first
Haiku #52817, by Mandingo Ebola
August 15, 2015 2:48 am ET

Stick hand in bear cave.
End up with hairy girlfriend.
You should not do that.
Haiku #52815, by DF
August 13, 2015 7:48 pm ET

He's pounding his pund,
organizing his organ,
grinding the monkey.
Haiku #52813, by DF
August 11, 2015 11:35 am ET

churning bad haiku
parkinsonian poet
punding syllables
Haiku #52812, by ash
August 11, 2015 7:31 am ET

bees made of bonbons
tarantulas made of tarts
wasps made of wontons
Haiku #52811, by Mad Chef of Cafeteriastan
August 10, 2015 9:39 pm ET

Non-GMO food.
BBQ potato chips.
Organic Cheetos.
Haiku #52810, by DF -- The reincarnation of Ponce de Leon of The fountain of youth needs a plumber.
August 10, 2015 8:18 am ET

Stick hand in bear cave
End up with a bloody stump
You should not do that!
Haiku #52809, by Anonymous Poet
August 10, 2015 1:10 am ET

Gather night crawlers.
Do not cultivate tape worms.
You deracinist!
Haiku #52808, by Go Fishing of Huck Finn's favorite spot.
August 9, 2015 12:01 pm ET

without bad haiku
as if from fertile night-soil
Haiku #52807, by ash
August 8, 2015 7:25 am ET

no more letter i
we must eliminate it
also capital$
Haiku #52806, by Hip Youngster of a a desired demographic
August 8, 2015 3:33 am ET

emotion discharge
will make you feel much better
do it here and now
Haiku #52805, by Mandingo Ebola
August 8, 2015 1:36 am ET

With each breath you take
you suck in one of my farts.
Ain't chemistry great?!

... Well, not a whole fart,
but thousands of molecules
that were in my farts.

Science is awesome!
I even get paid for this.
I'm a dirty whore.
Haiku #52804, by Homogeous mixture.
August 7, 2015 9:20 pm ET

why do we play with
fire in some time periods
and get all peachy

gee whizzy, gluten
free in the next one? is it
irony is dull?
Haiku #52803, by ronin
August 7, 2015 3:06 pm ET

words just spill out on
years of keeping them trapped in
bukokski's sickness
Haiku #52802, by ronin
August 7, 2015 2:48 pm ET

we weave a web with
the words wandering where why
wonders, wasting time
Haiku #52801, by ronin
August 7, 2015 2:44 pm ET

Mystery is solved.
So that's how I got pregnant...
by sniffing your farts.
Haiku #52800, by Anonymous Poet
August 7, 2015 1:39 pm ET

I'm afraid my work
Will be rehashes of some
Book I'm reading...word
Haiku #52799, by ronin
August 7, 2015 12:18 pm ET

I wish I could write as
Well as you all, but my star
Fell to Earth, wasted.
Haiku #52798, by ronin
August 7, 2015 12:01 pm ET

Fart Haiku #1538
My farts rape your nose.
Penetrate and violate.
Perhaps impregnate.
Haiku #52797, by The other half composted IN the toilet!
August 7, 2015 10:59 am ET

Here is a theory:
More than half of these haiku
composed on toilet
Haiku #52796, by Anonymous Poet
August 7, 2015 1:11 am ET

Pick them by their hair.
Or pick them by skin color.
Or pick them by how beautiful and/or large their genitalia are, in fact that should be a requirement, and we need a constitutional amendment saying that all public officials must have starred in at least 3 popular porn movies before being allowed to take office.
Haiku #52795, by Anonymous Poet
August 6, 2015 10:53 am ET

These are modern times!
Pick your leaders by hair style.
Make sure your vote counts

Haiku #52794, by Anonymous Poet
August 5, 2015 9:39 pm ET

What is there to say?
You need meaning in your life?
Then get off the net!
Haiku #52793, by DF's cat Scratchy of Peeing on your patio furniture.
August 5, 2015 9:53 am ET

Kill kill kill kill kill
Everybody kill kill
Then cha-cha and nap
Haiku #52792, by Manson-Lopez of My head
August 3, 2015 6:41 pm ET