BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
19 Years
170 Days
53769 Haikus
Did anyone dance?
I mean around the Maypole.
Or is that too gay?
Haiku #53769, by Darth Figpucker
May 1, 2016 8:40 pm ET

Big tits and cold beer.
Monster trucks and tornadoes.
It's redneck heaven!
Haiku #53768, by Darth Figpucker
May 1, 2016 8:38 pm ET

I had changed my plans.
Grilled chicken guts on a stick.
Only 5 pesos.

It's far safer than
McD's mystery "All Beef"
soy meal and filler.
Haiku #53767, by Darth Figpucker
April 30, 2016 11:06 pm ET

I think i'll go eat.
McDonald's tastes like dog shit.
But all else is closed.
Haiku #53766, by Darth Figpucker
April 30, 2016 10:43 am ET

We do not like five
Seven is demon number
Five repeats itself
Haiku #53765, by Haiku is ultimate form of expression for conformists
April 30, 2016 1:55 am ET

only one are you
to spew DNA on roof
Of Starbucks bathroom
Haiku #53764, by Yoda
April 30, 2016 1:09 am ET

Has anyone else
tossed their spooge on the ceiling
in Starbucks bathroom?
Haiku #53763, by Darth Figpucker of Idling In Gender Neutral Gear
April 30, 2016 12:51 am ET

Bugs and Elmer Fudd.
The marriage of Figaro.
Those were some good times.
Haiku #53762, by Darth Figpucker
April 30, 2016 12:46 am ET

hare conditioner
that is what I thought it was
I was quite surprised
Haiku #53761, by Pack of Beagles on the hunt
April 30, 2016 12:09 am ET

I'm inadequate.
Considering surgery.
Penile implant.

Bionic boner.
Jackhammer vaginal joy.
Perhaps porn career.

But there's a problem.
Swimming suits will be awkward.
Surfing while erect.

Paddling will suck.
I'll drill a hole in my board.
Hoping sharks won't bite.

All for the sake of
satisfying farm horses
and Paris Hilton.
Haiku #53760, by Darth Figpucker
April 29, 2016 10:32 pm ET

will these want ads from
pakistan (I guess) push out
all haiku poem talk?
Haiku #53759, by vhs
April 29, 2016 11:08 am ET

Haiku #53758, by rtriyeyw of USA
April 28, 2016 11:14 pm ET

Haiku #53757, by pwpupiwu of USA
April 28, 2016 9:37 pm ET

as to these spam ads
just another part of the
world evolving, spam
Haiku #53756, by vhs
April 28, 2016 12:42 pm ET

from what i saw of
hell its you merge with the fire
of hell, as spirit

quite literally, but it
was a dream, and dreams are a
reflection of id.
Haiku #53755, by vhs
April 28, 2016 10:58 am ET

Haiku #53753, by wotpwrpr of USA
April 27, 2016 11:53 pm ET

"Boy, I bet you'd stick
your head in a fire if I
told you you'd see hell."

--Otis Firefly
Haiku #53752, by Darth Figpucker
April 27, 2016 11:23 pm ET

i wonder where these
spam websites go but i don't
really want to know...
Haiku #53751, by vhs
April 27, 2016 5:27 pm ET

carlin would note of
course war is a phallic joke
with things sticking out
Haiku #53749, by vhs
April 27, 2016 10:02 am ET

Hair conditioner
makes great masturbation gel.
I am an egg-spurt.
Haiku #53748, by Darth Figpucker
April 27, 2016 7:48 am ET

Play these tank war games.
But first take some Viagra.
You'll shoot both cannons.
Haiku #53747, by Darth Figpucker
April 27, 2016 7:46 am ET

Tank Trouble is the best tanking war game. you can Play Tank Trouble 2 or various other verions of Tank Trouble SWF game, like Tank Trouble 1, Tank Trouble 2, Tank Trouble 3 , Tank Trouble 4, I enjoing Tank Trouble Unblocked game by playing Tank Trouble Deathmatch stage. Start making fun with you friends and family Play Tank Trouble 3 Unblocked or Play Tank Trouble Unblocked at school.
Haiku #53746, by Tank Trouble of
April 27, 2016 6:58 am ET

snort...well i am of
course becoming Moe with the
hair, or was Larry

the right name, just a
stooge living day to day we
are human too human
Haiku #53745, by ronin also vhs
April 26, 2016 12:43 am ET

Needing to spank it.
Jacking it in the shower.
Thinking of wife's friend.

Hair conditioner.
I recommend it to all guys.
Try "Mane and Tail".

Although nearly bald.
And you do not have a horse.
You will love your hand.
Haiku #53744, by Darth Figpucker
April 25, 2016 9:34 pm ET

My fist is stinky.
What became of subtlety?
I'm a tool of Tool.
Haiku #53743, by Darth Figpucker
April 25, 2016 9:26 pm ET

i believed then i
decided to keep believing
must be Journey
Haiku #53741, by vhs
April 25, 2016 10:45 am ET

Not sure what I am.
I am between both of them.
A man without time.
I'm over the hill.
But started falling backwards.
Back the way I came.
When I am 80
I'll be riding the big waves
and banging young girls.
But lots could stop that.
Shot by an angry husband.
Eaten by a shark.
Or something mundane.
Killed by a deadly snail.
Drowned while on mushrooms.
Haiku #53740, by Darth Figpucker.
April 25, 2016 1:47 am ET

well if we start say
posting stuff about Dune which
i saw my copy

Goodwill, one buck, old
paperback, i am not sure
what you thought of the

David Lynch movie
but a co worker said "well
geeze it's like the "In-

vasion of the
whatever the fuck it is"
and i found humor

in that
are you Gen X or boomer?
or does that matter?
Haiku #53739, by vhs
April 24, 2016 11:35 pm ET

But enough of that.
Let's talk about puppy skeet.
Launch them up and "BOOM!"

I think it's legal
and even respected in
places like China.

It's hard to find and
very expensive to play,
but highly worth it.

You can also use
rare endangered animals
if you're super rich!
Haiku #53738, by Darth Figpucker
April 24, 2016 5:14 pm ET

I personally
think most sci-fi is low-rent
like the last star wars.

The star killer scenes
broke every law of physics
and made me cry foul.

Older sci-fi books
at least attempt predictions
and not break science.

Douglas, however,
I love his biting humor.
Forty-two, indeed!
Haiku #53737, by Darth Figpucker
April 24, 2016 5:08 pm ET

noticed that english
folks in academia
put down sci fi as

"low rent" where as those
who idolize culture
outside North Amer.

see the potential
for the sci fi thing, and they
dig it, class warfare?
Haiku #53736, by vhs
April 24, 2016 12:52 pm ET

ah well "writers" are
rough on one another then
we are writers, like

saying "we are klingons"
but then again life goes
on, we post, we live
Haiku #53735, by vhs
April 23, 2016 2:23 pm ET

Well, to be exact,
it's "We apologize for
the inconvenience".


I sort of used that
in my novel in one spot.
An homage I guess.
Haiku #53734, by Darth Figpucker
April 23, 2016 12:29 pm ET


just if you're going
to stick a fish in my ear
babel on darthy...

of course God's last message was "Sorry for the inconvenience" according to Douglas Adams...
Haiku #53733, by vhs of pondering 42
April 23, 2016 11:51 am ET

May 25 is
Intergalactic Towel
Day, oh hoopy froods.

Some make the mistake
of calling it here on earth,

They just do not know.
Wave your towel late at night
to flag down space ships.

The Vogons won't come.
My poetry scares them off.
You are so welcome.
Haiku #53732, by darth figpucker
April 23, 2016 7:57 am ET

they must be out there somewhere
waiting to eat us
Haiku #53731, by Mandingo Ebola
April 23, 2016 2:45 am ET

reflections on the
wave, piece of ying in the yang, the
old cliche of we've

met the enemy
they are us
Haiku #53730, by vhs
April 22, 2016 11:10 pm ET

sad controlling trolls
life leaves them pitied by us
who pity ourselves
Haiku #53729, by Mandingo Ebola
April 22, 2016 11:01 pm ET

Haiku #53728, by weeioerr of USA
April 22, 2016 4:58 pm ET

i see your english
is broken, mine always was
get it broken in
Haiku #53727, by vhs
April 22, 2016 11:06 am ET

just you know you're in
deep shit when someone like me
says "I'll pray for you"
Haiku #53726, by vhs
April 22, 2016 11:04 am ET

there's more than two means
to deal with anger, as a
Christian i can do

a prayer against
a Satanic force such as
afore mentioned "haiku"

or i could throw a
cup of coffee in the face
of that person but

the truth is all i
have to do is leave and the
person tends to go away...
Haiku #53725, by vhs
April 22, 2016 11:02 am ET

to those strangers so
far removed, the heckler, the
troll... well fuck you too
Haiku #53724, by vhs
April 22, 2016 10:56 am ET

does not comprehend
explosive disconnect far
removed from real life
Haiku #53723, by vhs
April 22, 2016 10:55 am ET

Hey you big faggot
Just fucking kill yourself, plz
Gulp down some bleach, plz
Haiku #53722, by Drunken Mercenary of China
April 21, 2016 5:04 pm ET

Prince just died and i
know it's the usual crap
about dying but

it is a shock of
those who made a mark and it
seems to be fading

worn away by the vast
erosion of time itself
forgotten and then...
Haiku #53721, by vhs
April 21, 2016 1:52 pm ET

hah you can tell it's
me anonymous when it's
about 1990s relics
Haiku #53720, by vhs
April 21, 2016 12:06 pm ET