BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
18 Years
235 Days
and
52716 Haikus
later...
Gratification
Mastification Station
God Loves Creation
Haiku #52716, by ?
July 5, 2015 5:18 am ET

Answer somebody
when they ask you some questions
you get endless spam
Haiku #52715, by Lesson learned
July 5, 2015 4:34 am ET

One two three four fuck
Sorry but you're out of luck
Sleep alone young buck
Haiku #52714, by Tropical hot dog night
July 5, 2015 2:37 am ET

Happy day after
Fight off your bad hangover
Try to get some sun
Haiku #52713, by Anonymous Poet
July 5, 2015 1:25 am ET

I just want to say
Happy Independance Day
Yippie tie yi yay
Haiku #52712, by Anonymous Poet
July 4, 2015 12:26 am ET

Inappropriate
homosexuality
Snuffleupagus.
Haiku #52711, by Anonymous Poet
July 3, 2015 7:13 am ET

Yahoo searches me
It is a wild world out there
We prepare ourselves
Haiku #52710, by Anonymous Poet
July 3, 2015 6:24 am ET

Surrendering sucks
Fast friends forget five dust ducks
Know I let you down
Haiku #52709, by Schmarkter
July 3, 2015 5:44 am ET

Do not trust language
It will violate your soul
Just tricks of the trade
Haiku #52708, by Anonymous Poet
July 3, 2015 2:07 am ET

I remember you
Shatting your soiled underpants
Stowed them in mailbox
Haiku #52707, by ?
July 2, 2015 11:41 pm ET

You can pick your nose.
You can also pick your friends.
But you can't wipe your friends on the back of the couch.

It's funny you mention mailing boogers. When I get junk mail with a return envelope -- postage paid -- that's exactly what I do. Sometimes I also mail them perverted poetry if I have time.

Good luck to you sir.
Nice to know I'm not alone.
Great minds think alike.
Haiku #52706, by Anonymous Poet
July 2, 2015 4:23 pm ET

I like my boogers
I like your boogers better
Please mail them to me
Haiku #52705, by ?
July 1, 2015 6:48 pm ET

Mosquitoes are bad.
Sun tans and Mai Thais are good.
Bikinis are best.
Haiku #52704, by Anonymous Poet
July 1, 2015 6:40 pm ET

They want to be wed.
Two men in a nursing home.
Their children object.

Is it immoral?
I suppose it all Depends.
That is what they wear.



Haiku #52703, by Anonymous Poet
July 1, 2015 6:37 pm ET

I do not fear death
but withthe leisure of choice
it lost its appeal
Haiku #52702, by vince
July 1, 2015 10:19 am ET

question everything
mott the hoople, bell the cat
never give a inch
Haiku #52701, by ash
July 1, 2015 8:36 am ET

all bubbles must burst
pneumatic kardashians
not only lips sink
Haiku #52700, by ash
July 1, 2015 8:30 am ET

whip the haiku mule
move that creative burden
poetry, my ass
Haiku #52699, by ash
July 1, 2015 5:51 am ET

Creative output
Dwindles as you get older
Get your ass to work
Haiku #52698, by Lazy
July 1, 2015 1:09 am ET

incoherent rule
post-orgasmic lassitude
either way we're fucked
Haiku #52697, by ash
June 30, 2015 1:10 am ET

All these bad haiku.
And not one has made me puke.
I'm disappointed.
Haiku #52696, by Darth Figpucker
June 29, 2015 7:03 pm ET

zippy the pinhead
the nation's prime minister
there's not much in it
Haiku #52695, by ash
June 29, 2015 9:43 am ET

it makes me worried
when i look at my country
ruled by imbeciles
Haiku #52694, by ash
June 29, 2015 9:42 am ET

What do Disney Land,
Walmart, and a coke addict
all have in common?
Haiku #52693, by Long lines!
June 27, 2015 11:29 am ET

I like killing flies.
To this end I do not bathe.
They come and I swat.
Haiku #52692, by Darth Figpucker
June 27, 2015 11:26 am ET

It's insanity
accepting that you are sane.
Thrown poo will splatter.
Haiku #52691, by Darth Figpucker of To live free like a monkey; fucking, sleeping, eating fruit, throwing poo.
June 27, 2015 11:22 am ET

is it sanity
accepting that i'm crazy ?
as if it matters...

Haiku #52690, by ash
June 26, 2015 5:26 am ET

like my hair pattern
the winter is receding
and darkness is less
Haiku #52689, by ash
June 25, 2015 8:20 pm ET

I wade through roses
wind swishing around my thighs
green grasshoppers buzz
Haiku #52688, by Betty LeBomb
June 25, 2015 3:53 pm ET

There once was a man from Xanadu.
And he did not like to write haiku.
So he wrote a limerick.
And he hopes it makes you sick.
Just like you were eating some poo poo.
Haiku #52687, by Anonymous Poet
June 24, 2015 9:57 am ET

I've been wanking it.
For almost thirty-five year.
And it's still working.
Haiku #52686, by Anonymous Poet
June 24, 2015 7:15 am ET

well, fuck you capture
your pathetic tiny font
mocking my optics
Haiku #52685, by ash
June 24, 2015 6:04 am ET

all hail the blue sky
and plus one for cumuli
heavenly high five
Haiku #52684, by ash
June 24, 2015 5:59 am ET

So have you prepared?
It's the last great extinction.
What's in your stew pot?
Haiku #52683, by Anonymous Poet
June 23, 2015 10:19 pm ET

There is no freedom.
Boundaries, borders, cages.
Com part mental eyes.
Haiku #52682, by Darth Figpucker
June 23, 2015 10:17 pm ET

If you have two balls
and you take away two balls,
then what do you have?
Haiku #52681, by Caitlyn Jenner
June 23, 2015 6:49 pm ET

One day God farted.
This event was the Big Bang.
Holy pinto beans.
Haiku #52680, by I speak nothing of which you know.
June 23, 2015 6:12 pm ET

All throughout the day
you must always ask yourself:
What would Darth Maul do?
Haiku #52679, by Anonymous Poet
June 23, 2015 10:38 am ET

Sun rise tomorrow
I will see it and wonder
Fucking Universe
Haiku #52678, by I know nothing of which you speak
June 23, 2015 5:16 am ET

My mom taught English.
Agustin English that is.
What an idiot.
Haiku #52677, by Anonymous Poet
June 23, 2015 12:44 am ET

Accept correction
Or else you won't get published
If that's what you want
Haiku #52676, by Anonymous Poet
June 23, 2015 12:40 am ET

Please accept the enclosed submission for consideration for publication
Haiku #52675, by G David Schwartz of Cincinnati, Ohio
June 22, 2015 2:33 pm ET

"Santorum latte!"
The Starbucks barista yelled.
No one even knew.
Haiku #52674, by Darth Figpucker
June 21, 2015 1:18 pm ET

Ring Out Solstice Bells.
That is a Jethro Tull song.
Keep U2 down there.
Haiku #52673, by Anonymous Poet
June 21, 2015 1:04 pm ET

the winter solstice
has finally come and gone
and not before time
Haiku #52672, by ash
June 21, 2015 5:46 am ET

Life is horrible.
It's worse when there's poetry.
Thus it is proven.
Haiku #52671, by Darth Figpucker
June 20, 2015 11:59 am ET

when the air outside
is half as warm as the surf
i shall call it cold
Haiku #52670, by ash
June 20, 2015 7:31 am ET

Sidney has winter?
What, like 50's and 60's?
Fahrenheit, of course.

Lord, stop your bitching.
It's hardly three feet of snow
and slick, icy roads.
Haiku #52669, by DF
June 18, 2015 5:46 pm ET

sydney isn't cheap
but it is embarrassing
the pm is derp
Haiku #52668, by ash
June 18, 2015 9:23 am ET

I can't believe this.
I just farted a haiku.
Five, seven, five toots.
Haiku #52667, by Darth Figpucker
June 18, 2015 7:47 am ET