BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
216 Days
65003 Haikus
Although we re apart
You re just a blow job away
Think of it like that
Haiku #65003, by Eerily quiet
June 16, 2019 8:19 pm ET

Mexican confides
Nickster spills the frijoles
ay, caramba dude
Haiku #65002, by Ledge of Kentucky
June 16, 2019 7:50 pm ET

Woah. How did you know
That I was watching Ice Age
with my dear daughtet?
Haiku #65001, by Sid the Lisping Sloth
June 16, 2019 4:54 pm ET

The family gathered
Around dear old Dad s beer gut
Celebrating sloth
Haiku #65000, by Latchkey child
June 16, 2019 3:27 pm ET

The family gathered
Around dear old Dad
Haiku #64999, by Latchkey child
June 16, 2019 3:26 pm ET

Hola, I have short questionnaire for you. Thanks in advance for answering.
Do you like soaking penis in alcohol, hot sauce, or blood of jesus.

Thank you....

Is for class project.
Haiku #64998, by Student driver
June 16, 2019 12:16 pm ET

Sick of your cartwheels.
Go sell your tuna elsewhere.
It's been done before.
Haiku #64997, by Anonymous Poet
June 15, 2019 9:15 am ET

Cartwheel Cartwheel split
Tuna fish tuna fish glue
Stuck to the floor now
Haiku #64996, by Unique of Physique
June 15, 2019 4:30 am ET

Ukulele class
And then we get stinking drunk
And then we get laid
Haiku #64995, by Volcano of excuses of Lavatory
June 15, 2019 2:40 am ET

Nipress? Who is that.
Why have you jumped back in this?
Are you Haiku now?
Haiku #64994, by Haiku unto Death
June 14, 2019 4:07 pm ET

Itch. Wanna scratch it.
Itch itch itch itch itch itch itch
Scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch
Haiku #64993, by Ben A. Drylle
June 13, 2019 10:34 pm ET

Penny slots jackpot
The million dollar blowjob
You'll be set for life
Haiku #64992, by Lucky
June 13, 2019 10:31 pm ET

Nipppress and Ash in gay StarWars themed wedding.....where is Jan-Ass The Hutt? Ash cries naked in the corner weeping while Nippress reads William McGonagall
Haiku #64991, by Iamback
June 13, 2019 9:51 pm ET

Ghost of Jacques Cousteau
Coney Island beach whistle
Or Song of Siren
Haiku #64990, by Jacques Itch of Downstairs
June 13, 2019 3:24 pm ET

All in a days work
Getting teabagged on lunch break
Pinky held erect
Haiku #64989, by Anonymous Poet
June 13, 2019 3:22 pm ET

Foot massage parlour
Big toes smell like tuna fish
All in a day
Haiku #64988, by Happy of Ending
June 13, 2019 3:19 pm ET

Darth is just a bot;
Starkitten an algorithm.
The whole thing is fake.
Haiku #64987, by Multiple Haiku Aliases of Cybernetic A.I.
June 13, 2019 11:24 am ET


I have a very short questionnaire I'd like to present and thank you in advance for answering.

Do you prefer Listerine, Scope, or Colgate mouthwash?

And what is your preferred flavor?

It's for a class project.

Thanks again.
Haiku #64986, by student of ginjiv-blaster freshli date ahhhh 911 preparedness
June 13, 2019 9:32 am ET

Beware of Dentists
They will fook up your teeth
And take your money

Supposed to fix them
But their not competent
And farm patients fangs.

Like Doc Holliday
They will drill your broken fangs
And take all your gold
Haiku #64985, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
June 13, 2019 3:29 am ET

Blew out front right tire
SOAB nail in board!
Saved by a good kid

He stopped his truck
Hey mister do you need help?
A damn fine young man.

Deep dark depression
Thinking about today's world
Good folks still exist

"Here is twenty bucks"
"No Sir, thanks- won't take it"
Its beer money kid.

Haiku #64984, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
June 13, 2019 3:12 am ET

Prehensile ding dong
Tilted. A rakish angle.
Sheepskin coverslip
Haiku #64983, by I. Hoomanskin of Look into my eyes
June 13, 2019 12:51 am ET

Reduced to mere gas
Burnt rubber. Front end blowout.
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku #64982, by Wangdoodle of Road Flare
June 13, 2019 12:47 am ET

Every day Earth Day
Are dildoes recyclable?
Asking for a friend
Haiku #64981, by interested of hiding
June 12, 2019 10:38 pm ET

Card reader error
Insert plastic again, please
Not the dildo, sir
Haiku #64980, by Frownface
June 12, 2019 2:14 pm ET

Thanks, Roshnikhanna.
Your hot escort services
are so poetic.
Haiku #64979, by Can I use VISA on our Haiku date?
June 12, 2019 7:13 am ET

I am so grateful for your article.Really looking forward to read more. Great.
Haiku #64978, by Roshni
June 12, 2019 3:37 am ET

I'm at a time when
Getting dressed up real fancy
Means washing my ass
Haiku #64977, by Greezy
June 11, 2019 12:45 am ET

Just a cucumber
My significant other
A garden frolic
Haiku #64976, by Green Thumb
June 9, 2019 11:25 pm ET

empty hope; logic
disregard consequences
hopelessly in love
Haiku #64975, by Ledge of Kentucky
June 9, 2019 10:16 pm ET

Ooops. Missed church again
Add some more sins to the pile
Stack up my wafers
Haiku #64974, by Pringles Lover of Down here
June 9, 2019 9:35 pm ET

That red flannel hash
Sunday cannibal brunch
Stewed in your jammies
Haiku #64973, by P.J. Stinky of Nook
June 9, 2019 9:33 pm ET

Neil Armstrong, Moon Man
No gravity. Erections.
Ziplocking jizzum
Haiku #64972, by For the love of god
June 9, 2019 2:33 pm ET

Flattened like a coin
By the oncoming freight train
I ve covered my tracks
Haiku #64971, by Husband Eliminatrix of Trestle
June 9, 2019 1:46 pm ET

Flattened like a coin
By the oncoming freight train
Haiku #64970, by Husband Eliminatrix of Trestle
June 9, 2019 1:46 pm ET

You are all guilty
Of writing awful haiku.
You shall be dealt with.
Haiku #64969, by Central Commitee Party Review of Wrong-Thinking Regressive Reactionary Verse
June 9, 2019 1:03 pm ET

They found the remains
Near an abandoned farmhouse
The severed penis
Haiku #64968, by Little boy blue of Blow your horn
June 9, 2019 11:43 am ET

What you call fucking
Others call masturbation
Just smoke and mirrors
Haiku #64967, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
June 9, 2019 4:18 am ET

What some call fucking
Others may call making love
I call it fucking
Haiku #64966, by You say tomato I say fuck you
June 8, 2019 6:07 pm ET

Darth's useless Gospel:
something about atheism...
Shit; and lack of wit.
Haiku #64965, by Crawl Back in your Toilet, Filth of Smiley Face have Blessed Day !
June 8, 2019 9:20 am ET

Christ's holy Gospel
Then, something about angels...
Haiku #64964, by React in Vain of Change the Channel
June 8, 2019 7:24 am ET

No handed push ups
Blown out tyre on the freeway
Hulk penis car jack
Haiku #64963, by Hulk penis car jack and kissing booth
June 8, 2019 2:30 am ET

Sleeping is better
With animal companions
And a heating pad
Haiku #64962, by No need for men!!
June 8, 2019 2:21 am ET

Sometimes I wonder
Why do some say "sleeping with"
When they mean "fucking"?
Haiku #64961, by The bitch locked me out
June 7, 2019 11:59 pm ET

Dinosaur dung pile
Purple hue looks familiar
Remember Barney?
Haiku #64960, by Anonymous Poet
June 7, 2019 10:09 pm ET

Long handled basket
Collecting dollars for God
Celestial Cheapskate
Haiku #64959, by Penny of Heaven
June 7, 2019 10:06 pm ET

Dearly beloved
Exchanging vows. Groom missing.
On floor blowing priest.
Haiku #64958, by Let us spray
June 7, 2019 10:05 pm ET

Low plebe atheist
full of superficial shit;
Go forth. Sin some more.
Haiku #64957, by Only God Can Take Out Your Garbage of Everyone Runs From You
June 7, 2019 7:53 pm ET

looks anesthetized
the general consensus
O, Poor limp penis!
Haiku #64956, by Giving Up
June 7, 2019 4:22 pm ET

Perhaps a cartwheel
The grassy meridian
Now a fish market
Haiku #64955, by Molly Malone of Summer Eve
June 7, 2019 4:17 pm ET

If I'd a pussy
I would always finger it
Even in my sleep
Haiku #64954, by I wish I were born a bitch
June 7, 2019 2:37 pm ET