BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
17 Years
262 Days
51097 Haikus
don't fear the reaper
tidying the rough edges
as he mows your lawn
Haiku #51097, by ash
August 1, 2014 6:39 am ET

Ready the monkeys!
My dingleberries are ripe.
Ready for harvest.
Haiku #51096, by Anonymous Poet
August 1, 2014 1:21 am ET

The noble gasses
Come from out of my asses.
Ideal they're not.

Nuclear decay.
Transmutated flatulence.
I'll eat beans tonight.
Haiku #51095, by Darth Figpucker
July 31, 2014 5:33 pm ET

Haiku #51094, by epyewewe of USA
July 31, 2014 1:01 pm ET

nobility's child
but avogadro's offspring
is a complete mol
Haiku #51093, by ash
July 31, 2014 10:59 am ET

it sits in her tray
crusted in kitty litter
a feline praline
Haiku #51092, by ash
July 31, 2014 10:48 am ET

Haiku #51091, by ywuiyuyr of USA
July 31, 2014 7:19 am ET

Age settles softly.
A January snowfall.
There is no more life.
Haiku #51090, by df
July 30, 2014 9:07 pm ET

Did you know that the
Fibonacci remainders
are cyclic series?

What will be my lunch?
Fibonacci Alfredo
With Euler jizz sauce.
Haiku #51089, by Anonymous Poet
July 29, 2014 9:26 am ET

To Haiku Poets:

I hate all of you.
You think you're such good artists.
All you do is count.
Haiku #51088, by Anonymous Poet
July 29, 2014 9:15 am ET

Smoke grass, no nickel.
Direct current, m'lady.
My, but my butt... stinks.

Corpulent creature
awaiting in chains in pain
molten lead bath.
Haiku #51087, by Anonymous Poet
July 29, 2014 9:10 am ET

alas, no quarter
a recurrent malady
my butt... it itches
Haiku #51086, by Lush
July 29, 2014 1:40 am ET

crapulent feature
awaiting some change in vain
frigid bath water
Haiku #51085, by Lush
July 29, 2014 1:37 am ET

Internet Anonymous.

Pachyderm nostril.
Humping snuffalupagus.
Up his snuffle, Gus.
Haiku #51084, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2014 8:54 pm ET

Haiku #51083, by wetouuop of USA
July 28, 2014 3:20 am ET

Wear transparent clothes.
Let them all see what you've got.
You can be famous.

You're a tabloid star.
Paparazzi pizza pie.
I'll beat off to it.
Haiku #51082, by Selena Gomez Sex Tape Scandal of Hawaian Nude Beach
July 28, 2014 12:31 am ET

Go eat a treat Pete.
Manipulating word job
She thanked me with smiles
Haiku #51081, by Hungarian Maffia of Barbados
July 27, 2014 4:16 am ET

Watering the lawn
Trying to fill up the time
Between now and death
Haiku #51080, by Awkward Silence of The Starship Enterprise
July 26, 2014 11:19 pm ET

Don't fart too loudly.
Unless in Starbucks' bathroom.
Let them all hear you.

The Sunday crowd laughs.
Childish giggles suppressed.
You can take a bow.
Haiku #51079, by I hate my phone.
July 26, 2014 10:00 pm ET

There is nothing here.
Look no further for meaning.
It's not to be found.
Haiku #51078, by of Mountiain stronghold of villains.
July 26, 2014 9:54 pm ET

I am drunk again.
Old Crow and Dr. Pepper.
I must now go puke.
Haiku #51077, by Anonymous Poet
July 25, 2014 4:36 pm ET

Gun powder Ding Dong.
Abused pink skin whore kissed Rah.
Hope her man blood craps.
Haiku #51076, by of Alien mother ship drinking coffee
July 24, 2014 8:59 am ET

Goat powered ping pong
Confused penguin orchestra
Doberman mud flaps
Haiku #51075, by Anonymous Poet
July 24, 2014 3:27 am ET

haiku hiatus
been a long time between posts
janis is the shiz
Haiku #51074, by ash
July 24, 2014 2:31 am ET

That sounds fair to me
Your cat has been declawed right?
Otherwise, no thanks.
Haiku #51069, by Anonymous Poet
July 20, 2014 2:01 pm ET

I guess that was me.
Apologies, my good man.
I was really drunk.

But to make things right,
you can poop in my yard too.
And wipe with my cat.
Haiku #51068, by Darth Douche Bag.
July 20, 2014 12:58 pm ET

Who pooped in my yard?
Seriously, who does that?
Get a life douche bag!
Haiku #51067, by Anonymous Poet
July 20, 2014 1:18 am ET

And now they are back.
Boner spam before coffee.
That just isn't right.

Find them with "who is".
Email them scans of your ass.
It's all we can do.

Seriously though. I used to bait those "Nigerian prince" scammers and when I had them believing I would wire them money or give them bank info, I would scan my ass (all spread apart and showing the nasty bits and my balls too), attach it in a word doc, and email it to them. Fun times those were.
Haiku #51065, by DF
July 18, 2014 9:22 am ET

There should be none now
Goddammed fucking boner pills
Defacing my site.
Haiku #51063, by Janis
July 17, 2014 2:17 pm ET

When I'm president.
All spammers will be shot dead.
Without a trial.
Haiku #51062, by Anonymous Poet
July 17, 2014 2:12 pm ET

Boy do I wonder
How many Viagra ads
There are on here

There is no need for
Your stupid pills and boner
Juice, please leave us now
Haiku #51060, by Kave Wixon
July 17, 2014 2:30 am ET

My ass has talent.
I can fart with perfect pitch.
And not leave one stain.
Haiku #51053, by Anonymous Poet
July 16, 2014 12:01 am ET

We're the all singing,
all dancing crap of the world.
Hankey Christmas Poo.
Haiku #51052, by Anonymous Poet
July 15, 2014 11:58 pm ET

The first rule of the
Haiku club is you don't talk
About haiku club
Haiku #51051, by Tyler
July 15, 2014 12:38 am ET

I met with the guy
He gave me blue crystal meth
Are you Walter White?
Haiku #51050, by Jossoy Ponkmon
July 15, 2014 12:31 am ET

Germany wins cup
Now athletic supporters
Have drinking excuse
Haiku #51049, by Anonymous Poet
July 13, 2014 5:49 pm ET

Every bomb used
will create more enemies
than it can destroy.
Haiku #51048, by Anonymous Poet
July 13, 2014 10:22 am ET

Did I see Alice?
She is down the rabbit hole.
But which pill to take?

Boner pills are great.
I need one that keeps me hard.
Post ejaculate.

If you saw Alice,
you would ejaculate too.
She is just that hot.
Haiku #51047, by Will Obama Care pay for my boner pills?
July 13, 2014 9:27 am ET

ambient vacuum
where silence assumes the helm
throb throb throb throb mmmm
Haiku #51046, by Lush
July 13, 2014 1:50 am ET

My garbage ocean
Insatiable desire
Represses all dreams
Haiku #51045, by Tractor pull of Sunday at the Rodeo grounds
July 12, 2014 2:02 am ET

Did you Cialis?
This is Viagra culture.
I can Levitrate!
Haiku #51044, by Smoke Horny Goat Weed.
July 11, 2014 2:47 pm ET

The capture scares me,
but I press on, in struggle
to express something
Haiku #51042, by Awkward Silence
July 10, 2014 3:28 am ET

we don't favour guns
our passive regressive team
censor their actions
Haiku #51041, by ash
July 9, 2014 6:52 am ET

No, Ash, you are wrong.
All the governments are cunts.
Control freaks with guns.
Haiku #51040, by DF
July 8, 2014 10:34 pm ET

PMs of Aus / Can
Glaring fuckheads are they both
Cut from the same cloth
Haiku #51039, by Janis
July 8, 2014 11:49 am ET

You think your job is
Bad. Not as bad as all the
V1494r4 spambots
Haiku #51038, by Janis of TDot
July 8, 2014 11:46 am ET

i am quite ashamed
that my country's government
are a bunch of cunts
Haiku #51037, by ash of australia
July 8, 2014 5:28 am ET

Read my bird like words.
Flittering around, pooping
On your minds' windshield
Haiku #51036, by Anonymous Poet
July 8, 2014 12:07 am ET

Here's a correction:
Say "I need to learn me some".
You'll sound more smarter.
Haiku #51031, by Darth Figpucker, Inc. of Not where I want to be.
July 4, 2014 9:50 am ET

Propane combustion.
Carbon dioxide cookoff.
Imminent demise.

Detonation enjoyment.
Have a happy Fourth.
Haiku #51030, by Darth Figpucker, Inc. of Russian Brothel
July 4, 2014 9:43 am ET