BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
21 Years
280 Days
and
58849 Haikus
later...
You look just like him
And I'm Mary Tyler Moore.
Pop goes the Weezer!
Haiku #58849, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 19, 2018 8:15 pm ET

Bad Haiku. So Quiet.
You can hear chirping crickets
And Buddy Holly, too.
Haiku #58848, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Room Clearing Service Ltd.
August 19, 2018 8:05 pm ET

Then came the Spring thaw
Sorest ass I ever saw.
Seen my thesaurus?
Haiku #58847, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Save the trees, wipe your ass with an owl!
August 19, 2018 11:53 am ET

Wintertime. Kinda hard.
Wiping with a Christmas card.
Got figgy pudding?
Haiku #58846, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 19, 2018 11:47 am ET

Wiped his bum with leaves
Or while bringing in the sheaves.
Behold, Thoreausoreass
Haiku #58845, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 19, 2018 11:39 am ET

A pot to piss in
When Henry David Thoreau
Really had to go
Haiku #58844, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Transcendental Urination Quality Control
August 19, 2018 11:28 am ET

honestly im in
my go to walden mood, do
not pass go, leave here
Haiku #58843, by vhs
August 19, 2018 9:03 am ET

are you knowing the
more you keep going i will
energizer, too?
Haiku #58842, by vhs
August 19, 2018 9:02 am ET

Wake up, vhs!
How the Hell are you doing?
Fresh haiku brewing
Haiku #58841, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 19, 2018 3:03 am ET

Eat Alphabet Soup
And every day you will poop
Bestsellers to read!
Haiku #58840, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 19, 2018 12:41 am ET

Get into the groove
Got to make your bowels move,
Hey, Poop to the beat.
Haiku #58839, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 19, 2018 12:23 am ET

I'm not feeling the
groove, introvert comes out must
sleep till the end times
Haiku #58838, by vhs
August 18, 2018 10:27 pm ET

i heard a man went
nuts long ago who sold books
I'm glad i didn't buy

books from that guy and
i got away from that guy as quick
as i could do so
Haiku #58837, by vhs
August 18, 2018 10:25 pm ET

i get stone temple pilots
and social justice warriors
mixed up sometimes, maybe
a band called social justice
warriors needs to come out and
put the so called justice warriors
to get offended and then egg them on when their attempts at intimidation cease to work, the doxxing, the shaming, look in the mirror they see blue hair
Haiku #58836, by vhs
August 18, 2018 10:00 pm ET

I've officially lost it
stupid bitch in a cafe got
all wound up when i said
I voted for trump and the lady said no i can't take it then i walked down the street wondering if that old boomer
geezer wondered if i should off myself over it and would ever think because of that convo i began to not value my own life
Haiku #58835, by vhs
August 18, 2018 9:58 pm ET

and for fuck sakes if
donald trump turns water into wine
and these drugged out hippie-o-crits
start burning the flag, claiming they hate america...well for fuck sakes when these assholes actually
experience world war three or some other horrid event, they'll be crying for real rather than the retarded mock crying of xanax
let them have their own "cannibalism" by eating themselves
Haiku #58834, by vhs
August 18, 2018 9:56 pm ET

so if i get these
paranoid hints in my mind whilst
real life is jabbering around me
clueless to what i do on line
and i get irritated with the real life drama of vanilla people whilst dealing with "thrilling" people on line, which fucking
one am i escaping from?
Haiku #58833, by vhs
August 18, 2018 9:52 pm ET

man i just get tired of this
stuff when i think it might
affect me in real life
and threaten the ones i love
because i think the person on
the other end might really be nuts
Haiku #58832, by vhs
August 18, 2018 9:51 pm ET

Try our Phish and Chips
We only have one waitress
Fast enough for you?
Haiku #58831, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 18, 2018 8:32 pm ET

Piping hot for you...
John, Paul, George, and Ringo too
Splendid Beatle Stew!
Haiku #58830, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 18, 2018 8:12 pm ET

Cultures that can claim
exquisite culinary
delights piss me off.
Haiku #58829, by How dare they?!?! of Not in Trump-land.
August 18, 2018 8:06 pm ET

Grasshoppers taste good.
Scorpions have a nice crunch.
Tarantulas... Nope!
Haiku #58828, by df
August 18, 2018 7:58 pm ET

Ok, Just got here
Please tell me where to park my
Big pink bathysphere
Haiku #58827, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 18, 2018 7:39 pm ET

I don't do windows.
I'll wear a smile, nothing more
Knock, Knock, on your door
Haiku #58826, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 18, 2018 6:49 pm ET

Blood spills with rigor
Quiet noise emerged at last
Fall reaching nothing
Haiku #58825, by [redacted]
August 18, 2018 6:27 pm ET

come to my window
im not a lesbian but
i'll be home soon...i'll..
Haiku #58824, by vhs
August 18, 2018 5:30 pm ET

Lay down on my couch
The Libido's cathexis
Bad haiku connects us
Haiku #58823, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Psychological Services PH.D
August 18, 2018 12:19 pm ET

hmm anima and
animus our enema
letting it all out
Haiku #58822, by vhs of freud would shit, jung would write another red book
August 18, 2018 9:03 am ET

Do fish get boners?
Quick, Hop in my bathysphere
Please wear something sheer.
Haiku #58821, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 18, 2018 8:24 am ET

Let's ask Jacques Cousteau
Please give his shell phone a blow
Perhaps he would know
Haiku #58820, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest smoking legal seaweed
August 18, 2018 7:25 am ET

When dolphins beat off
do they spank their sea monkeys?
Asking for a friend.
Haiku #58819, by just kidding, I have no freinds.
August 18, 2018 4:44 am ET

I ate four cans of
alphabet soup and had a
huge vowel movement.
Haiku #58818, by df
August 18, 2018 4:41 am ET

No wagering, folks.
LIVE: Simon and Garfunkel
Cage Fight to the Death!
Haiku #58817, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 18, 2018 1:18 am ET

Tale of Two Shitties
Eat Alphabet Soup daily
Poop out a novel
Haiku #58816, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 18, 2018 12:34 am ET

ive heard of eating
my heart out but this is all
rediculous soup
Haiku #58815, by vhs
August 17, 2018 11:00 pm ET

Copenhagen Chew
Wash it down with Human Stew
That tastes just like you

The
Haiku #58814, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 17, 2018 9:40 pm ET

i wonder what kind
of milkshake you make to bring
kaiju to the yard

you could teach me but
you'd have to charge
Haiku #58813, by vhs
August 17, 2018 8:05 pm ET

Catch a Lake Monster
A sprinkle of my Phish Food
Brings Champ to the yard
Haiku #58812, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 17, 2018 6:45 pm ET

ask Him about sea
monkeys...use them as fish food
then buy some phish food
Haiku #58811, by vhs of i love ben n jerrys
August 17, 2018 8:58 am ET

If God answers you
Complain about Sea Monkeys
Not worth the money!!
Haiku #58810, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 17, 2018 7:31 am ET

either that or i
need to shut off satans door
and talk to God, in

private...

the upper room prayer center
Haiku #58809, by vhs
August 17, 2018 6:13 am ET

disturbing...i think
we need to break our phones and
smash all our tablets
Haiku #58808, by vhs of smash the death of privacy
August 17, 2018 6:08 am ET

Measurements of bore
seminal viscosity
in situ Batman.
Haiku #58807, by just because
August 17, 2018 3:19 am ET

Who would have thunk it?
World War Three set in motion
Over spilled birdseed
Haiku #58806, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 17, 2018 12:28 am ET

meh, waiting for the
end times to do their thing
pray for those dummies

marching under the
antifa flag, they're going to
hell if they're not saved
Haiku #58805, by vhs
August 16, 2018 10:35 pm ET

Not the same kitty
But I will play with your balls
Of yarn all night long
Haiku #58804, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 16, 2018 9:14 pm ET

if i know me i
knew a starkitten on a
sub dom site but once...

I don't think you are her
Haiku #58803, by vhs
August 16, 2018 7:28 pm ET

So come as you are
Bigfoot wrote all the lyrics
Punch the jukebox, Fonz!
Haiku #58802, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 16, 2018 12:01 pm ET

pearls jammed, nirvanaed...
trees screamed, melvinesd, alice
was in all chained
Haiku #58801, by vhs of a real soundgarden out there
August 16, 2018 8:52 am ET

The Haiku Hotel
You'll sleep just like a baby
Room five seven five.
Haiku #58800, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
August 15, 2018 11:06 pm ET