BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
18 Years
110 Days
and
52092 Haikus
later...
live long and prosper
be remembered for ever
but die just the same
Haiku #52092, by ash
March 1, 2015 1:07 am ET

No, God is not fair.
My life will not be the same.
Goodbye Mr. Spock.
Haiku #52090, by Anonymous Poet
February 27, 2015 9:21 pm ET

Squirrels are talking
about taking earth over
And kicking us out
Haiku #52087, by Conspiracy Theory
February 27, 2015 8:15 am ET

in life's dark forest
if nobody is looking
does a tree have wood ?
Haiku #52084, by ash
February 26, 2015 7:21 am ET

Illuminaughty.
Currency has sex symbols.
I blame Bill Clinton.
Haiku #52076, by Conspiracy Piracy of Florida Keys
February 25, 2015 12:55 am ET

Mostly, I can't write
Even shitty Haiku, then
I crack myself up
Haiku #52075, by Steve of Calgary
February 23, 2015 9:31 pm ET

the great forest sees
everything you do now
stop masterbating
Haiku #52074, by anon of st. louis
February 23, 2015 3:36 pm ET

Forty-two degrees.
I enjoy flicking boogers.
The perfect angle.
Haiku #52073, by Projectile motion. of y = 1/2(-g)t^2 + vo*sin(theta)t+yo
February 23, 2015 11:49 am ET

you can eat my dust
we're getting a new kitchen
eventually
Haiku #52072, by ash
February 23, 2015 6:50 am ET

New ice age appears
Melting will clean it all up
Then we go party
Haiku #52071, by Anonymous Poet
February 22, 2015 3:08 am ET

Six is difficult
Being nice even more so
I know how that goes
Haiku #52070, by noob
February 22, 2015 2:50 am ET

you can count to five
and you can count to seven
poetic failure
Haiku #52069, by ash
February 22, 2015 2:17 am ET

American snow
Carrying a chemical
Dawn of a new age
Haiku #52068, by Anonymous Poet
February 22, 2015 12:03 am ET

I can count to five
and I can count to seven
poetic masterpiece!
Haiku #52064, by noob
February 20, 2015 2:22 pm ET

Got me a ticket.
Found fifteen cents and a hat.
Lottery winner!
Haiku #52062, by The Ghost of Elvis of Rehab.
February 20, 2015 9:18 am ET

My money is on
Nuclear catastrophe,
or maybe zombies
Haiku #52060, by Chaucer of Canterbury
February 20, 2015 12:44 am ET

Let's go spread disease.
No other way to save earth.
Extinction event.
Haiku #52058, by Anonymous Poet
February 19, 2015 1:59 pm ET

I like hamburgers
even if they don't have ham
They should stop lying
Haiku #52052, by False advertising
February 18, 2015 12:20 am ET

Isn't it funny
that Valentines Day has the
initials VD.
Haiku #52039, by Anonymous Poet
February 14, 2015 1:46 pm ET

Disable symbols.
Especially these two here.
The spam will then die.

< and >
Haiku #52038, by Darth Figpucker of North Korea hacking the CIA database. ;-)
February 14, 2015 1:43 pm ET

Do you need money?
Education is pointless.
Just go rob a bank.
Haiku #52035, by Phoenix University! of Arizona - the state of bad online education.
February 13, 2015 11:43 am ET

Disable the code.
I mean the HTML.
The spammers will go.
Haiku #52025, by Darth Figpucker of The basement of Satan's outhouse.
February 11, 2015 12:48 pm ET

Big data is fucked
The machines taking over
Don tin-foil hat
Haiku #52023, by Janis
February 10, 2015 11:26 am ET

I refuse to quit
Maybe I am a dumb shit
I say, "so be it."
Haiku #52020, by Anonymous Poet
February 9, 2015 4:22 pm ET

Back in the old days
The internet seemed so safe
Large listening device
Haiku #52019, by Janis
February 9, 2015 2:26 pm ET

blue ties
smiling at me
nothing but blue ties
do I see

you turds
parroting on
nothing but three words
that's too long

never saw the house looking so sad
never saw things going so bad
promises made, hurrying by
when you're in power, my how you lie

blue days
time you were gone
nothing but turnbull
from now on
Haiku #52018, by ash of australia, waiting for the leadership spill
February 7, 2015 9:56 pm ET

I need to go shit.
I will force it if I must.
Watch my veins bulge out.
Haiku #52005, by Anonymous Poet
February 5, 2015 1:53 pm ET

I want to own gold.
Platinum is okay too.
But gold is pretty.
Haiku #52004, by Anonymous Poet
February 5, 2015 1:51 pm ET

Vaginas are bad.
They're even downright evil.
'Cause they make people.
Haiku #52003, by Anonymous Poet
February 5, 2015 1:49 pm ET

Poo-poo is taboo.
Who do you know in the zoo?
The blue kangaroo.
Haiku #52002, by Anonymous Poet
February 5, 2015 1:44 pm ET

Dingleberry pie.
Rhinoceroses are great.
Do you like my hat?
Haiku #52001, by Anonymous Poet
February 5, 2015 1:42 pm ET

Haikus are awesome
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator
Haiku #51999, by nobody of nowhere
February 4, 2015 8:25 pm ET

Jake, you silly fool.
Enjambment is a no-no.
Use three sentences.
Haiku #51998, by Darth Figpucker of Lloyd's of London of Newark, NJ
February 4, 2015 6:07 pm ET

This is a guide to
how many syllables you
need in a Haiku.
Haiku #51997, by jake of state farm
February 4, 2015 3:06 pm ET

Tor, you need a whore.
Cash is real; VD is real.
And there is no love.
Haiku #51995, by Anonymous Poet
February 4, 2015 9:30 am ET

I just listened to
Careful with That Axe Eugene.
Brings back memories.
Haiku #51994, by Darth Figpucker
February 4, 2015 1:28 am ET

Love is a mirage
We share smiles but what's the point?
I need something real.
Haiku #51993, by Tor of Toronto
February 4, 2015 12:23 am ET

Is it the last storm
Spirals out of order, plows
Make snow ziggurats
Haiku #51992, by ronin
February 2, 2015 8:18 pm ET

Football game today
How could some become obsessed
with sweaty mean men
Haiku #51990, by Anonymous Poet
February 1, 2015 4:54 pm ET

Magic hamster talks
about philosophy and
the beauty of life
Haiku #51989, by Anonymous Poet
February 1, 2015 4:51 pm ET

You know you are grown
Old when pay phones are for sale
In antique locales
Haiku #51988, by ronin
January 30, 2015 8:12 pm ET

It sucks getting old.
Watching porn does not arouse.
Should I click the spam?
Haiku #51987, by Anonymous Poet
January 30, 2015 10:40 am ET

The spam viking sketch
Seems quite appropro to the
Ongoing pill bots
Haiku #51985, by ronin
January 30, 2015 1:18 am ET

Flying saucer goat
Travels amongst the planets
Bringing joy to all
Haiku #51984, by Anonymous Poet
January 30, 2015 1:15 am ET

My wife just farted.
I breathed it in quite deeply.
I wish I hadn't.
Haiku #51973, by Anonymous Poet
January 28, 2015 5:34 pm ET

Let's talk about sex
Just kidding, let's please not
I'm still a virgin
Haiku #51972, by Virgin of Virginia
January 28, 2015 2:51 pm ET

What is to stop me
From making a long ass post
On this stupid site?
Haiku #51966, by Alex Jones of AMERICA
January 27, 2015 3:48 pm ET

Feelings are mixed say
I hate amazon but I
Get stuff cheaper there

Or wal mart with cheap
Everything who can keep
That bunch down? Amazon
Haiku #51965, by ronin
January 27, 2015 11:35 am ET

The danger is not
Being tough enough in mind
To say fuck you to

The right people
Haiku #51964, by ronin
January 27, 2015 11:26 am ET

Folks seem to indulge
Excess tolerate it then
Puritans take charge
Haiku #51963, by ronin
January 27, 2015 11:21 am ET