I fucked a sea worm.
It was better than fleshlight.
But I prefer pigs.

Rejoice while you can
'Tis the eve of New Years Eve
Then get back to work

Children huffing glue.
This is to ease hunger pains.
The brand is "Rugby".

Trump is a good name
for a Dr. Seuss rhyme book.
New on Amazon.


Trumpty Dumpty built a high wall. Trumpty Dumpty's wall did nothing at all. Trumpty Dumpty then shat on that wall* showing his dangly bits to all. Trumpty Dumpty showed to all he has small balls that he calls zumps. Upon his zumps are tiny lumps**. Trumpty Dumpty humped the dump he took out his rump then humped the rump of Forrest Gump and it went "thump thump thump" and made Gump jump on a stump. Trumpty Dumpty shot a lumpy clump of hump gunk; he has the mumps. And measles. And likely several strains of ebola. The end.

*Explosive diarrhea from bad Mexican food.
**Likely some exotic form of herpes from Miss America.

Milkfat overdose.
Poisonous mass of nutmeg.
Headache from bad rum.

Beauty of Stillness
Going Nowhere Adventures
The Joy of Quiet

A sliver of moon
Silhouettes in charcoal gray
Short past long stay

It is time to sleep.
A few shots of rum would help.
Instead I write this.

Cats are very clean.
Dogs poop all over the place.
The Chinese eat both.

Inspirational!
Best Christmas poem ever!
Jesus would approve!

Heavy battle tanks.
Guarding shopping malls and schools.
That will stop ISIS.

High-tech fighter jets
carrying strategic nukes
make us feel secure.

But nothing can stop
my incomplete sentences
nor my enjambment.

MWAHAHAHAhahaha!!!
(evil laughter fading out with echo effect)

Who's your favorite?
Milkman Dan or Bug-Eyed Earl?
I'll take both of them!

Remember Underoos?
Now they make them for seniors.
Bullet proof Depends.

I would eat her out.
Then there was a period.
End of discussion.

I once shat myself.
In the WalMart checkout line.
These haiku are worse.

Everything is slowing down
River of no return
My eyes on the prize

Don't wanna be your reason
I'm no one's reason
Not under your spell no more

Christmas time is near
Hunker down, drink lots of beer
Ring in the new year

Oh God, I'm so high.
Don't forget to bring a towel.
You wanna get high?

Darth Figpucker the
Highly Inappropriate
enjoys enjambment...

among other things
such as torturing puppies
and Starbucks coffee.

Sticky toe jambment
is somehow in my undies.
Damn that wife of mine.

Don't speak of yourself
in the 2nd person as
though you're someone else.

That is just too weird
and you won't get elected
to be president.

Inappropriate.
Customer satisfaction.
Phallus substitute.

Playing games with time
Dropping most dopest sick rhyme
While sexting a mime

My Life Is But Clay
A Statue In The Making,
Always Evolving

Strange school janitor.
He scraped off all the boogers
from under the desks.

He stored them in jars.
But none will ever know why.
He was abducted.

Your website is so cool. I am impressed by the info that you have on this site. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject.
betonnen keukentablet

website punch repeat
code monkey loves your fat feet
saving you a seat

sorry to tell you
we will not get off this rock
maybe for better

You are meat for rats.
When you die, they will eat you,
if the worms are late.

I just ate rat meat.
It's really pretty decent.
But not so filling.

The whores all like it.
They say it can cure VD.
Why are they diseased?

We need a space ship.
A large colony transport.
Not a small fighter.

i remain haunted
you visit me in my dreams
and leave me empty

Donald Trump's problem?
Napoleon complex, duh.
('cause of his penis)

pair programming sucks
stupid startups think it's cool
yet they will all fail

It is one of the best real estate websites that i have ever visited. I know many real estate agents looking for good property websites. I will share this website with them. Thanks for sharing.
keramiek tafelblad

Masturbatory.
It sums up my life story.
Invest in Fleshlight.

Who threw up their lunch?
Does it splatter on his joint?
Please... don't wear make-up.

Buttered toast
Between my large thighs
Orgasmic

Who threw the first punch?
Does it matter at this point?
Please...kiss and make up.

I must disagree.
"Bad Haiku: (necessary)".
Somehow I doubt that.

*sleeping on sidewalks.
Shit, I cannot fucking type.
New keyboards don't help.

Run-over dead rats.
Children sleeping sidewalks.
And I want a beer.

So many topics.
But this is not about that.
This is about this.

It's time for more farts.
Always back to the basics.
What poems are for.

Farts are for poems.
Loud or sneaky, we love them.
Poems are for farts.

Sunsets and puppies.
Puppies launched from a cannon.
Watch how the sharks feed.

Grandma has a cock
It is a very rude bird
Shits on the sidewalk

Next year will improve.
China will start World War III.
Do not be afraid

Just join the commies.
Party members get more food.
Plastic rice tastes great!

You must have either
a tiny little man fist
or a huge dildo

My fist is
A good substitute
For dildo

I have penises.
Mine and all those in my butt.
Assuming those count.

I wrote a haiku.
It was really pretty good.
But I forgot it.

You got penises?
Yeah? Well, so does your sister.
Won't share them with me.