Snip my buttons off,
With your shearing claw, my sweet
Lobster in my pants
With your shearing claw, my sweet
Lobster in my pants
BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
16 Years
219 Days
and
49809 Haikus
later...
219 Days
and
49809 Haikus
later...
before things get out
of hand, we gotta Nippress
it in the bud, Ange
of hand, we gotta Nippress
it in the bud, Ange
Haiku #30831, by onjaysun (Floyd is a barber not a band)
May 23, 2003 6:57 pm ET
May 23, 2003 6:57 pm ET
Hug the baby seals,
Hug the porpoiseses,
Hug the walrusess
Hug Tennesee Tuxedo,
Hug Barney Fife
Hug the porpoiseses,
Hug the walrusess
Hug Tennesee Tuxedo,
Hug Barney Fife
Haiku #30830, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 5:29 pm ET
May 23, 2003 5:29 pm ET
In the words of the great
philosopher Homer J. Simpson....
"DOHHHHHHH!!!"
philosopher Homer J. Simpson....
"DOHHHHHHH!!!"
Haiku #30829, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 5:29 pm ET
May 23, 2003 5:29 pm ET
hippie girls micro
buses or mom's taurus, luv
that mountain aire time
buses or mom's taurus, luv
that mountain aire time
Haiku #30828, by onjaysun (if it's free love can I still get a receipt?)
May 23, 2003 3:06 pm ET
May 23, 2003 3:06 pm ET
sometimes it is worse
to have your fear come true
you knew all along
to have your fear come true
you knew all along
Haiku #30827, by lissle lauren that be really sad of lost somewhere in your smile
May 23, 2003 3:03 pm ET
May 23, 2003 3:03 pm ET
i want to know what
it would feel like to
hold him just once more
it would feel like to
hold him just once more
Haiku #30826, by lissle lauren that be really sad of lost somewhere in your smile
May 23, 2003 3:00 pm ET
May 23, 2003 3:00 pm ET
I like big butts and I can't deny,
They rock my world
and make me high.
They rock my world
and make me high.
Haiku #30825, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 11:16 am ET
May 23, 2003 11:16 am ET
"Arf, arf, arf!" Lassie's response
Haiku #30824, by samhain
May 23, 2003 11:15 am ET
May 23, 2003 11:15 am ET
"What's wrong girl? Did Timmy
fall down the well??"
FROM THE 'LASSIE' TV SHOW
fall down the well??"
FROM THE 'LASSIE' TV SHOW
Haiku #30823, by samhain
May 23, 2003 11:13 am ET
May 23, 2003 11:13 am ET
When I die,
Bury me with,
My soul.
Bury me with,
My soul.
Haiku #30822, by samhain
May 23, 2003 11:12 am ET
May 23, 2003 11:12 am ET
Let's go mine some cubic zirconia,
And have a party with
Barney the dinosaur
And have a party with
Barney the dinosaur
Haiku #30821, by samhain
May 23, 2003 11:11 am ET
May 23, 2003 11:11 am ET
Poems for the blind are useless,
unless spoken with emotion
unless spoken with emotion
Haiku #30820, by samhain
May 23, 2003 11:10 am ET
May 23, 2003 11:10 am ET
lovely new 'puter
with eyes of deep cobalt blue
you are marvellous
with eyes of deep cobalt blue
you are marvellous
Haiku #30819, by :-) ash
May 23, 2003 9:51 am ET
May 23, 2003 9:51 am ET
abreast of fashion
considering a tattoo
ta da drum roll please
considering a tattoo
ta da drum roll please
Haiku #30818, by mellie
May 23, 2003 8:50 am ET
May 23, 2003 8:50 am ET
some deep core drilling
right into the heart of me
promising samples
right into the heart of me
promising samples
Haiku #30817, by mellie
May 23, 2003 8:47 am ET
May 23, 2003 8:47 am ET
Its no good you going
on the wagon we
on the wagon we
Haiku #30816, by Examination Board
May 23, 2003 6:54 am ET
May 23, 2003 6:54 am ET
It's been eleven
hours since my last drink of beer:
Eleven AM
hours since my last drink of beer:
Eleven AM
Haiku #30815, by A Student of this is going to halve my shopping bill
May 23, 2003 6:38 am ET
May 23, 2003 6:38 am ET
Maybe she still sucks her thumb
And we all know what that means
And we all know what that means
Haiku #30814, by Time to come off breast feeding
May 23, 2003 6:19 am ET
May 23, 2003 6:19 am ET
Do you have a mammary fixation?
Haiku #30813, by Tits R Us
May 23, 2003 6:17 am ET
May 23, 2003 6:17 am ET
wading in waste high
piles of nippless haikus
grandma has a cock
piles of nippless haikus
grandma has a cock
Haiku #30812, by ap
May 23, 2003 6:04 am ET
May 23, 2003 6:04 am ET
Want to make your mark
Contact civilization
Show them who
Contact civilization
Show them who
Haiku #30811, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:32 am ET
May 23, 2003 3:32 am ET
Not a lost city
Turns out it
Turns out it
Haiku #30810, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:29 am ET
May 23, 2003 3:29 am ET
Still don
Haiku #30809, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:25 am ET
May 23, 2003 3:25 am ET
They followed me home
Tribe is banging on my door
Demanding my vote
Tribe is banging on my door
Demanding my vote
Haiku #30808, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:22 am ET
May 23, 2003 3:22 am ET
Shows what can happen
When you venture outside house
Think I
When you venture outside house
Think I
Haiku #30807, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:18 am ET
May 23, 2003 3:18 am ET
These people talk strange
Looking at the sky, bowing
Must be a lost tribe
Looking at the sky, bowing
Must be a lost tribe
Haiku #30806, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:18 am ET
May 23, 2003 3:18 am ET
Found a lost city
It was right in the middle
Lawn needs exploring
It was right in the middle
Lawn needs exploring
Haiku #30805, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:14 am ET
May 23, 2003 3:14 am ET
Wading in waist high
I walk through my long grass lawn
About time I cut it
I walk through my long grass lawn
About time I cut it
Haiku #30804, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:11 am ET
May 23, 2003 3:11 am ET
Saw a mad man shout
This man doesn
This man doesn
Haiku #30803, by William Nippress or is it only mad people who understand?
May 23, 2003 3:07 am ET
May 23, 2003 3:07 am ET
Pissed on Kronenbourg
Hopes he can avoid exams
Coming to get you
Hopes he can avoid exams
Coming to get you
Haiku #30802, by Examination board
May 23, 2003 2:58 am ET
May 23, 2003 2:58 am ET
an alien came
it shat on my rug and left
oh wait, that was me
it shat on my rug and left
oh wait, that was me
Haiku #30801, by sexually frustrated
May 22, 2003 11:32 pm ET
May 22, 2003 11:32 pm ET
minus the wrinkles
and her chronic leprosy
she's one hot mama
and her chronic leprosy
she's one hot mama
Haiku #30800, by sexually frustrated
May 22, 2003 11:28 pm ET
May 22, 2003 11:28 pm ET
what's all this nonsense
about eating your body
jesus, you're a fag
about eating your body
jesus, you're a fag
Haiku #30799, by sexually frustrated
May 22, 2003 11:15 pm ET
May 22, 2003 11:15 pm ET
Robots and lobsters
If they would love each other,
That would be fucked up
If they would love each other,
That would be fucked up
Ralph Wiggum once said,
"My cat's breath smells like cat food"
Cats are not lobsters
"My cat's breath smells like cat food"
Cats are not lobsters
Some lobsters can fly
High above the clouds they soar
Safe from traps and nets
High above the clouds they soar
Safe from traps and nets
Angry robots screech,
Lobsters kidnapped their princess
Lights blink in hatred
Lobsters kidnapped their princess
Lights blink in hatred
Lobster Messiah
If he had a shell and claws
What would Jesus do?
If he had a shell and claws
What would Jesus do?
Sometimes I wonder
If all lobsters were robots,
Couuld they still be caught?
If all lobsters were robots,
Couuld they still be caught?
Robots fight and kill,
For the love of a princess
Gearbox royalty
For the love of a princess
Gearbox royalty
My deep-sea lover
Antennae stroking softly,
Her touch is divine
Antennae stroking softly,
Her touch is divine
superfly jesus
you better write them gospels
before i smack you
you better write them gospels
before i smack you
Haiku #30790, by sexually frustrated
May 22, 2003 8:11 pm ET
May 22, 2003 8:11 pm ET
christ was a homo
he labeled peter "the rock"
you figure it out
he labeled peter "the rock"
you figure it out
Haiku #30789, by sexually frustrated (i'm writing book, called "The Art of Blaspheming.")
May 22, 2003 8:05 pm ET
May 22, 2003 8:05 pm ET
obsessed with children
jesus was a pedophile
like wacko jacko
jesus was a pedophile
like wacko jacko
Haiku #30788, by sexually frustrated
May 22, 2003 8:02 pm ET
May 22, 2003 8:02 pm ET
jesus told judas
to betray him before hand
there was no betrayal
to betray him before hand
there was no betrayal
Haiku #30787, by sexually frustrated (christ knew what he was doing, pimpin his apostles like dolomite)
May 22, 2003 7:57 pm ET
May 22, 2003 7:57 pm ET
a virgin, yeah right
joseph waxed that ass all night
fo shizzle, dizzle
joseph waxed that ass all night
fo shizzle, dizzle
Haiku #30786, by sexually frustrated
May 22, 2003 7:53 pm ET
May 22, 2003 7:53 pm ET
a lazy nigger
fabricating articles
for the new york times
fabricating articles
for the new york times
Haiku #30785, by sexually frustrated (he's proud of it too, proving once again the lackluster work ethic of niggers)
May 22, 2003 7:48 pm ET
May 22, 2003 7:48 pm ET
But then on the third
I can drink excessively
Before my last test
I can drink excessively
Before my last test
Haiku #30784, by A Student of a maths exam (I've attended no maths lectures this year)
May 22, 2003 6:17 pm ET
May 22, 2003 6:17 pm ET
Then they make a bet
that I shall drink nothing that
is alcoholic
that I shall drink nothing that
is alcoholic
Haiku #30783, by A Student of until the third of June
May 22, 2003 6:16 pm ET
May 22, 2003 6:16 pm ET