BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
17 Years
322 Days
and
51478 Haikus
later...
Snip my buttons off,
With your shearing claw, my sweet
Lobster in my pants
Haiku #30832, by Korzak
May 23, 2003 9:48 pm ET

before things get out
of hand, we gotta Nippress
it in the bud, Ange
Haiku #30831, by onjaysun (Floyd is a barber not a band)
May 23, 2003 6:57 pm ET

Hug the baby seals,
Hug the porpoiseses,
Hug the walrusess
Hug Tennesee Tuxedo,
Hug Barney Fife
Haiku #30830, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 5:29 pm ET

In the words of the great
philosopher Homer J. Simpson....
"DOHHHHHHH!!!"
Haiku #30829, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 5:29 pm ET

hippie girls micro
buses or mom's taurus, luv
that mountain aire time
Haiku #30828, by onjaysun (if it's free love can I still get a receipt?)
May 23, 2003 3:06 pm ET

sometimes it is worse
to have your fear come true
you knew all along
Haiku #30827, by lissle lauren that be really sad of lost somewhere in your smile
May 23, 2003 3:03 pm ET

i want to know what
it would feel like to
hold him just once more
Haiku #30826, by lissle lauren that be really sad of lost somewhere in your smile
May 23, 2003 3:00 pm ET

I like big butts and I can't deny,
They rock my world
and make me high.
Haiku #30825, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 11:16 am ET

"Arf, arf, arf!" Lassie's response
Haiku #30824, by samhain
May 23, 2003 11:15 am ET

"What's wrong girl? Did Timmy
fall down the well??"
FROM THE 'LASSIE' TV SHOW
Haiku #30823, by samhain
May 23, 2003 11:13 am ET

When I die,
Bury me with,
My soul.
Haiku #30822, by samhain
May 23, 2003 11:12 am ET

Let's go mine some cubic zirconia,
And have a party with
Barney the dinosaur
Haiku #30821, by samhain
May 23, 2003 11:11 am ET

Poems for the blind are useless,
unless spoken with emotion
Haiku #30820, by samhain
May 23, 2003 11:10 am ET

lovely new 'puter
with eyes of deep cobalt blue
you are marvellous
Haiku #30819, by :-) ash
May 23, 2003 9:51 am ET

abreast of fashion
considering a tattoo
ta da drum roll please
Haiku #30818, by mellie
May 23, 2003 8:50 am ET

some deep core drilling
right into the heart of me
promising samples
Haiku #30817, by mellie
May 23, 2003 8:47 am ET

Its no good you going
on the wagon we
Haiku #30816, by Examination Board
May 23, 2003 6:54 am ET

It's been eleven
hours since my last drink of beer:
Eleven AM
Haiku #30815, by A Student of this is going to halve my shopping bill
May 23, 2003 6:38 am ET

Maybe she still sucks her thumb
And we all know what that means
Haiku #30814, by Time to come off breast feeding
May 23, 2003 6:19 am ET

Do you have a mammary fixation?
Haiku #30813, by Tits R Us
May 23, 2003 6:17 am ET

wading in waste high
piles of nippless haikus
grandma has a cock
Haiku #30812, by ap
May 23, 2003 6:04 am ET

Want to make your mark
Contact civilization
Show them who
Haiku #30811, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:32 am ET

Not a lost city
Turns out it
Haiku #30810, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:29 am ET

Still don
Haiku #30809, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:25 am ET

They followed me home
Tribe is banging on my door
Demanding my vote
Haiku #30808, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:22 am ET

Shows what can happen
When you venture outside house
Think I
Haiku #30807, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:18 am ET

These people talk strange
Looking at the sky, bowing
Must be a lost tribe
Haiku #30806, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:18 am ET

Found a lost city
It was right in the middle
Lawn needs exploring
Haiku #30805, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:14 am ET

Wading in waist high
I walk through my long grass lawn
About time I cut it
Haiku #30804, by William Nippress
May 23, 2003 3:11 am ET

Saw a mad man shout
This man doesn
Haiku #30803, by William Nippress or is it only mad people who understand?
May 23, 2003 3:07 am ET

Pissed on Kronenbourg
Hopes he can avoid exams
Coming to get you
Haiku #30802, by Examination board
May 23, 2003 2:58 am ET

an alien came
it shat on my rug and left
oh wait, that was me
Haiku #30801, by sexually frustrated
May 22, 2003 11:32 pm ET

minus the wrinkles
and her chronic leprosy
she's one hot mama
Haiku #30800, by sexually frustrated
May 22, 2003 11:28 pm ET

what's all this nonsense
about eating your body
jesus, you're a fag
Haiku #30799, by sexually frustrated
May 22, 2003 11:15 pm ET

Robots and lobsters
If they would love each other,
That would be fucked up
Haiku #30798, by Korzak
May 22, 2003 10:08 pm ET

Ralph Wiggum once said,
"My cat's breath smells like cat food"
Cats are not lobsters
Haiku #30797, by Korzak
May 22, 2003 10:05 pm ET

Some lobsters can fly
High above the clouds they soar
Safe from traps and nets
Haiku #30796, by Korzak
May 22, 2003 10:04 pm ET

Angry robots screech,
Lobsters kidnapped their princess
Lights blink in hatred
Haiku #30795, by Korzak
May 22, 2003 10:02 pm ET

Lobster Messiah
If he had a shell and claws
What would Jesus do?
Haiku #30794, by Korzak
May 22, 2003 9:57 pm ET

Sometimes I wonder
If all lobsters were robots,
Couuld they still be caught?
Haiku #30793, by Korzak
May 22, 2003 9:57 pm ET

Robots fight and kill,
For the love of a princess
Gearbox royalty
Haiku #30792, by Korzak
May 22, 2003 9:54 pm ET

My deep-sea lover
Antennae stroking softly,
Her touch is divine
Haiku #30791, by Korzak
May 22, 2003 9:50 pm ET

superfly jesus
you better write them gospels
before i smack you
Haiku #30790, by sexually frustrated
May 22, 2003 8:11 pm ET

christ was a homo
he labeled peter "the rock"
you figure it out
Haiku #30789, by sexually frustrated (i'm writing book, called "The Art of Blaspheming.")
May 22, 2003 8:05 pm ET

obsessed with children
jesus was a pedophile
like wacko jacko
Haiku #30788, by sexually frustrated
May 22, 2003 8:02 pm ET

jesus told judas
to betray him before hand
there was no betrayal
Haiku #30787, by sexually frustrated (christ knew what he was doing, pimpin his apostles like dolomite)
May 22, 2003 7:57 pm ET

a virgin, yeah right
joseph waxed that ass all night
fo shizzle, dizzle
Haiku #30786, by sexually frustrated
May 22, 2003 7:53 pm ET

a lazy nigger
fabricating articles
for the new york times
Haiku #30785, by sexually frustrated (he's proud of it too, proving once again the lackluster work ethic of niggers)
May 22, 2003 7:48 pm ET

But then on the third
I can drink excessively
Before my last test
Haiku #30784, by A Student of a maths exam (I've attended no maths lectures this year)
May 22, 2003 6:17 pm ET

Then they make a bet
that I shall drink nothing that
is alcoholic
Haiku #30783, by A Student of until the third of June
May 22, 2003 6:16 pm ET