Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 166 Days and 77047 Haiku later...

I admit I like
dr. dre and snoop dogg and
I'm a white boy from

new England and
miss the Chronic and most of
my music is like

Judas Priest love.
random plays like Beck so why
they don't kill me babe
Haiku # 53333, February 16, 2016 11:49 am ET
by vhs
when someone famous
sits on the toilet is it
the same shit AS you

anyone else want
to save shit, shit happens my
poo to you my shoe?
Haiku # 53332, February 16, 2016 11:46 am ET
by she said my punch out number was 666
hentai monster in
cartoon fools with girl then she
makes it go shopping.

romantic slime toons
monstergirls, murikami
would have a field day
Haiku # 53331, February 16, 2016 11:44 am ET
by 335
fine you break the social
water figuratively giving
birth to the latest

outrage and I want
to comment on the outrage
of course I've seen that crap
Haiku # 53330, February 16, 2016 11:43 am ET
by vhs
Excessive liquor.
No more a human being.
Merely solution.
Haiku # 53329, February 16, 2016 1:22 am ET
by Darth Funk As Druck Figpucker of Keep your pets inside tonight.
If you can't surf 'em,
I don't want to hear 'bout 'em.
Gravity waves. Bah!
Haiku # 53328, February 15, 2016 6:04 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
to stop it bursting
when they fuck a small chicken
they use a hentai
Haiku # 53327, February 15, 2016 7:52 am ET
by ash of devil's rejects visit japan
so gravity waves
and albert einstein waves back
not so autistic
Haiku # 53326, February 15, 2016 7:17 am ET
by ash
What's a real haiku?
I don't know, but this is not.
I'd like to see one.

Are they exclusive
to the Japanese Language?
Just like Anime?

Who likes hentai porn?
Seen Urotsukidoji?
That's some gruesome shit!

Google vid search for
the uncensored version of
above mentioned film.
Haiku # 53325, February 14, 2016 7:56 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Why are Japanese so perverse and act as though it's normal. Perhaps I should go live there.
don't have time for this
right now, write mocking haiku
If you must but i'm

giving this a break for
a week or so, it's too cold
and real life is on
Haiku # 53324, February 14, 2016 1:54 pm ET
by vhs
You are a bigot!
Kaitlyn Jenner is a brave
and hot young woman.
Haiku # 53323, February 14, 2016 12:34 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
"Oh my dear Figgy,
You pleasure me so much," said
no woman ever
Haiku # 53322, February 14, 2016 12:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I don't like "df".
I prefer "Darth Figpucker".
Or "Lord Figpucker".

I will let you choose.
Or you can call me "Figgy",
whispered in my ear.

Happy VD Day.
Hope you enjoy your VD.
Say hi to the nurse.

County health clinics
are great places to meet your
future baby spouse.
Haiku # 53321, February 14, 2016 6:40 am ET
by Lord Darth Figpucker, the Highly Inappropriate and Maker of Uncalled for Remarks. of Buy Chocolates at Lady Godiva's... Bitches love chocolate!
It is unlikely
that a haiku can reference
probability.

But for a haiku
to make reference to itself
is rather common.

Most trashy poets
will resort to this as a
bad comic relief.

See, I proved my point.
Just like your sister and mom;
Quite Easily Done.
Haiku # 53320, February 14, 2016 6:30 am ET
by df of Quod Erat Demonstrandum
I am half awake.
I suppose I'm half asleep.
My penis is not.
Haiku # 53319, February 13, 2016 5:11 pm ET
by df of Happy Valentine's Day
Hell is certainly
Existing girl in a porn
Snorting angel dust
Haiku # 53318, February 13, 2016 5:08 pm ET
by df of does anyone still snort PCP? Or has that fad fortuanately passed?
Bliss is probably
Existential Unicorns
Farting fairy dust
Haiku # 53317, February 13, 2016 2:32 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
haiku collection
far greater than the sumbits
and far worse than bad
Haiku # 53316, February 13, 2016 1:26 am ET
by ash
people who were once
lively jump ship and leave their
message boards blank
Haiku # 53315, February 12, 2016 1:23 pm ET
by vhs
who is on the end
of the other screen, when does
that voice fade away?
Haiku # 53314, February 12, 2016 1:00 pm ET
by vhs of you can't rewind
Oh, you just don't know!
The expansionist commies
are coming for you.
Haiku # 53313, February 11, 2016 6:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
scowls
Haiku # 53312, February 11, 2016 12:31 pm ET
by vhs
A major virus
is needed to cleanse the world.
More so in China.
Haiku # 53311, February 10, 2016 8:08 pm ET
by df of Chinese hotdogs made from zika babies. Criminal sapitalism hiding under a red flag.
location some place
on the earth anywhere, earth
library, laptop

cell phone, clunky thing
pc still running windows xp
a snapshot of a

life posted here now
Haiku # 53310, February 10, 2016 3:02 pm ET
by vhs
it becomes a huge
competition between one
weirdo and weirdo

keeping the so called
normal people out who suck
anyways with their lack

of humanity, fear
of being seen as weird and of
course taking human

lives to be seen as
part of a bigger whole that
satanic extroversion

ruling america
Haiku # 53309, February 10, 2016 12:37 pm ET
by vhs
sometimes sanity
is saved by insanity
believe and be saved

by French fries, wal mart
capitalism and the
dead things of this world
Haiku # 53308, February 10, 2016 12:24 pm ET
by vhs
Oh, shit, I'm sorry!
I sandwiched the wrong person.
A drive-by food fight.
Haiku # 53307, February 10, 2016 6:30 am ET
by df
Bum Fights is my fave.
Next would be blowing shit up.
And ancient tunnels.

Perhaps that last one
explains my current marriage.
Ooo.. that was so bad.
Haiku # 53306, February 10, 2016 6:20 am ET
by df
Reaches in the fridge.
Slaps vhs with foot long.
Sub sandwich that is.
Haiku # 53305, February 10, 2016 6:16 am ET
by df
Insanity Now!
Release me from my demons,
or give me sandwich.
Haiku # 53304, February 10, 2016 1:13 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
top five weird shit on
youtube videos when I
used to watch that show

alive from off
center and street of those say
alligators gave me

nightmares. then the band
tool showed up with prison sex
nostalgia for weird

church of the subgenius
and or truly weird sections
when the net was the

underground

disinfo
Haiku # 53303, February 9, 2016 11:57 pm ET
by vhs
apparently a dead
chicken in a you tube vid
is an alien body

mysteriously
found located on the edge
of a woods somewhere
Haiku # 53302, February 9, 2016 10:23 pm ET
by vhs
I keep using these
mibbit chats and the ads are
for Arabic or

Russian girlfriends
or some other sundry ad
or cookie junk mail
Haiku # 53301, February 9, 2016 10:05 pm ET
by vhs
whatever the reason
and whatever the purpose
I am somewhat amused
Haiku # 53300, February 9, 2016 10:01 pm ET
by vhs
I'm trying to find
nude pictures of Hillary
Clinton. Don't ask why.
Haiku # 53299, February 9, 2016 8:53 pm ET
by df
sometimes though it will
become necessary to let
people go and go

into refelction
letting old people go in
their habits and let

the ballast sink and
fly on with wings of black and
leather, horns of onyx
Haiku # 53298, February 9, 2016 2:15 pm ET
by vhs
Hillary Clinton
wants to become president
to sleep with interns.
Haiku # 53297, February 9, 2016 4:19 am ET
by df
I use two napkins
One for lap and one for mouth
Maybe one for nose
Haiku # 53296, February 8, 2016 5:17 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
Momma used to say
"Ugly is as ugly does."
That bitch was ugly!

My soul is ugly.
My hole is also ugly.
They reflect themselves.

Smells also reflect.
Both soul and hole smell like shit.
Both need a big douche.

That's where you come in.
Clean me out, oh friend geyser.
Boiling spring water.

Warmed by hell fire.
Burn the sin right out of me.
I need to suffer.

I'm laughing so hard.
I would like some fried chicken.
And mashed potatoes.

What are you having?
Do you cook your own meals?
Or do you dine out?
Haiku # 53295, February 8, 2016 4:02 pm ET
by df
These are not haiku
No, not even bad haiku
Ugly reflections
Haiku # 53294, February 8, 2016 2:58 pm ET
by DrD of Orlando
because they enjoyed
posting things, posting thoughts, but
pearls before swine huh

take my pearls elsewhere?
Haiku # 53293, February 8, 2016 12:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Why the fuck would one
post haiku on this website
unless bored to tears

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Haiku # 53292, February 8, 2016 11:58 am ET
by df
short bored posts from folks
who are bored posting a few
messages on here
Haiku # 53291, February 8, 2016 11:41 am ET
by vhs
I did not do that.
So your wife has a remote
for your computer?

Wow, you are a chump.
Next she'll make you stop going
to the titty bars.

Super Bowl Fifty.
From both states with legal pot.
Super BOWL, get it?
Haiku # 53290, February 7, 2016 5:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
well my machine just
shut itself off by remote
wow, what a surprise
Haiku # 53289, February 7, 2016 1:51 pm ET
by vhs
What did you think of
Star Wars Episode VII?
Was that gay, or what?!

Recycled old plots.
In four out of the seven
a space station blew.

I was like, "Again?!"
Kylo Ren, Kylo Stimpy.
Rae needs a nude scene.

Lucas fucked up bad.
He should have given Star Wars
to Tarantino.

It's the light saber
that says Bad Motherfucker.
Mace Jules in the house!

Supreme Leader Snoke,
I mean, what a fucking joke!
Elmo's scarier.

Okay, I'll stop there.
I think it's time for my nap.
Blanky and Elmo.
Haiku # 53288, February 7, 2016 1:51 pm ET
by df
you've figured out
over the years I am a Christian
so I have a kind

of different if flawed
world view, I mean do the logs

in the eyes of say
"df,"....we start with our
own minds, homes, spirits

egos, beer collections
south park reruns and bad
impressions of henry miller lists
Haiku # 53287, February 7, 2016 1:43 pm ET
by vhs
You, vhs, no.
You are not worth the killing.
I would fart on you.

Hold you down and fart.
Right into your open mouth.
And inflate your lungs.

Seriously though.
I only hate parasites.
Yes, I would kill them.

Not only just kill,
but torture, maim, burn, and, well,
you get the idea.

The world's grown too small
to tolerate those that take
from the rest of us.

All thieves should be killed.
Strung up and mutilated.
Fed to the lions.
Haiku # 53286, February 7, 2016 1:32 pm ET
by df for president
one time I was in
a poetry group and I
walked away and the

poetry group broke up
if it were just one person
posting, would this place

have nothing to say
nothing to declare, is there a
point to this evil?
Haiku # 53285, February 7, 2016 1:30 pm ET
by vhs
we are if we can't
choose good or evil as a
certain English man

said nothing but say
Clockwork Oranges just wind
up toys with no will
Haiku # 53284, February 7, 2016 1:26 pm ET
by vhs
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