Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 166 Days and 77047 Haiku later...

The awful fact that
evil is entertainment
makes me hate people.

Thus I am evil.
That's called a downward spiral.
Wheeeeee! What a fun ride!

I should run away.
Leave all the crap behind me,
and just go surfing.
Haiku # 53367, February 21, 2016 9:25 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, not of North Shore, but maybe some day.
The snow has melted
and so I'll wait 'till next year
to fall on my ass
Haiku # 53366, February 21, 2016 5:46 pm ET
by Raptus Regaliter
acedia or say
apathy is sloth but who
the hell came up with

the seven deadlies
we know the seven words you
can't say on the air

George carlin...saw him
long long time ago irl
quite a show it was
Haiku # 53365, February 21, 2016 12:32 pm ET
by vhs
well the show must go
on even when the actors pass
away, new ones come
Haiku # 53364, February 21, 2016 12:27 pm ET
by vhs
don't give yourself too
much credit, I enjoy your
"evil" I just want

my own evil to
be as entertaining and
I put up with it
Haiku # 53363, February 21, 2016 11:55 am ET
by vhs
Blah Blah fuckin' blah.
Fuckin' blah dee blah blah blah.
Blah fuckin' blah fart.
--vhs

Oooo, I'm so evil.
I can write a bunch of crap.
I'm Satan's rival.

All war is my fault.
Starvation and sickness too.
And there's apathy.

Of all the evil
apathy is the worst one.
And it's all my fault.

All the world's evil,
It is all because of me.
You read it here first.
Haiku # 53362, February 20, 2016 5:00 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker is the cause of all evil, war, pollution, hatred, apathy, starvation, sickness, captchas, SPAM, and Justin Beiber.
what is troubling
is we put on these folks who
act, sing, write, play, dance

a cross, a godhood
and to find that image dashed
by word, deed and song
Haiku # 53361, February 20, 2016 3:09 pm ET
by vhs
celebrities do
things that make celebrity
news broadcasts celeb
Haiku # 53360, February 20, 2016 3:03 pm ET
by vhs
then again all I
have to do is shut this off
and find other things
Haiku # 53359, February 20, 2016 11:55 am ET
by vhs
maybe I just want
a whiskey sour and just
try to haiku post

several answers
to the several answers
I would get on here
Haiku # 53358, February 20, 2016 11:27 am ET
by vhs
then again a few
prayers here and there do make
people wonder why

what's the point, maybe
it's a replacement for say
worry or jerk offs...
Haiku # 53357, February 20, 2016 11:14 am ET
by vhs
I want to die with
a mouth full of tobacco
and a whiskey sour
Haiku # 53356, February 20, 2016 11:07 am ET
by vhs
I note that evil
often is unknown to those
whose loved ones

do not know about
what is happening until
something cracks through the wall
Haiku # 53355, February 20, 2016 11:01 am ET
by vhs
in that case it is
best to be thankful that I
am still alive

what about you
my dear evil poet when
will others write here?
Haiku # 53354, February 20, 2016 10:57 am ET
by vhs
If you die alone
with an unwritten poem
buried in your mind

Haiku # 53353, February 19, 2016 11:48 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker is a lover of many farm animals
Metaphphysical
Mad monster monopoly
Making mankind mad
Haiku # 53352, February 19, 2016 9:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
when our poets were
not bukowski or Ginsburg
but the man who wrote

about stone soup, and the
concerns of life weren't this life
of so called adults...
Haiku # 53351, February 19, 2016 11:26 am ET
by vhs
what happens if I
post a kind of serious
haiku on here like sad
Haiku # 53350, February 19, 2016 11:23 am ET
by vhs
it's worn out the whole
I did not know you were a
bondage troll...whacky
Haiku # 53349, February 19, 2016 10:13 am ET
by vhs
Dog turd on the ground.
It had no footprint in it.
Until I passed by.
Haiku # 53348, February 18, 2016 6:56 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker is a waste of oxygen.
well then we get to
the point where people enjoy
being spanked, fun huh
Haiku # 53346, February 18, 2016 3:02 pm ET
by vhs
Yeah, too late for that.
Some people are born boring.
They need to be spanked.
Haiku # 53345, February 18, 2016 2:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
there comes a time when
excess gets old and folks are
dead or survivors

scott weyland is dead
david grohl is not dead he
is still going now

either i will die
or i will survive and i
will become boring

if I'm not already
Haiku # 53344, February 18, 2016 2:12 pm ET
by vhs
well i suspect what
i find here is a bit of just
setting words in place
Haiku # 53343, February 18, 2016 2:08 pm ET
by vhs
I'd say about now.
If you want meaning in life,
you're in the wrong place.
Haiku # 53342, February 18, 2016 11:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
at what point does one
say fuck it and hang up the phone
and give up on this?
Haiku # 53341, February 18, 2016 11:00 am ET
by vhs
There's nothing wrong with
sexual attraction to
different species.

Panda bears are hot.
While goats and sheep are common.
Who's banged jellyfish?

That is what I thought.
My originality
cannot be beaten!

Seriously though.
I'm sure some Japanese chef
has beat me to it.
Haiku # 53340, February 18, 2016 5:58 am ET
by Darth Figpucker.
My band played a club
the night after GWAR played there.
Green room was sticky.
Haiku # 53339, February 17, 2016 11:28 pm ET
by Eye shit hue knot. Memories of 1998
Trump wants the White House
so that he can screw us all...
and hot Russian girls.
Haiku # 53338, February 17, 2016 4:11 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
All joking aside,
Hillary wants the White House
to screw an intern.

Revenge is a dish
best written about in the
US Daily News.
Haiku # 53337, February 17, 2016 3:45 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
Good one 335!
Makes it goes shopping indeed!
That's hilarious!

Okay, so it's metal.
That's the topic of the week.
So who has seen GWAR?

I'm not into them;
they're somewhat juvenile.
but they make me laugh.

Though he's an old fart,
vhs likes ICP.
He's true Juggalo.
Haiku # 53336, February 17, 2016 3:41 pm ET
by Lord Figpucker
I admit I like
dr. dre and snoop dogg and
I'm a white boy from

new England and
miss the Chronic and most of
my music is like

Judas Priest love.
random plays like Beck so why
they don't kill me babe
Haiku # 53333, February 16, 2016 11:49 am ET
by vhs
when someone famous
sits on the toilet is it
the same shit AS you

anyone else want
to save shit, shit happens my
poo to you my shoe?
Haiku # 53332, February 16, 2016 11:46 am ET
by she said my punch out number was 666
hentai monster in
cartoon fools with girl then she
makes it go shopping.

romantic slime toons
monstergirls, murikami
would have a field day
Haiku # 53331, February 16, 2016 11:44 am ET
by 335
fine you break the social
water figuratively giving
birth to the latest

outrage and I want
to comment on the outrage
of course I've seen that crap
Haiku # 53330, February 16, 2016 11:43 am ET
by vhs
Excessive liquor.
No more a human being.
Merely solution.
Haiku # 53329, February 16, 2016 1:22 am ET
by Darth Funk As Druck Figpucker of Keep your pets inside tonight.
If you can't surf 'em,
I don't want to hear 'bout 'em.
Gravity waves. Bah!
Haiku # 53328, February 15, 2016 6:04 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
to stop it bursting
when they fuck a small chicken
they use a hentai
Haiku # 53327, February 15, 2016 7:52 am ET
by ash of devil's rejects visit japan
so gravity waves
and albert einstein waves back
not so autistic
Haiku # 53326, February 15, 2016 7:17 am ET
by ash
What's a real haiku?
I don't know, but this is not.
I'd like to see one.

Are they exclusive
to the Japanese Language?
Just like Anime?

Who likes hentai porn?
Seen Urotsukidoji?
That's some gruesome shit!

Google vid search for
the uncensored version of
above mentioned film.
Haiku # 53325, February 14, 2016 7:56 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Why are Japanese so perverse and act as though it's normal. Perhaps I should go live there.
don't have time for this
right now, write mocking haiku
If you must but i'm

giving this a break for
a week or so, it's too cold
and real life is on
Haiku # 53324, February 14, 2016 1:54 pm ET
by vhs
You are a bigot!
Kaitlyn Jenner is a brave
and hot young woman.
Haiku # 53323, February 14, 2016 12:34 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
"Oh my dear Figgy,
You pleasure me so much," said
no woman ever
Haiku # 53322, February 14, 2016 12:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I don't like "df".
I prefer "Darth Figpucker".
Or "Lord Figpucker".

I will let you choose.
Or you can call me "Figgy",
whispered in my ear.

Happy VD Day.
Hope you enjoy your VD.
Say hi to the nurse.

County health clinics
are great places to meet your
future baby spouse.
Haiku # 53321, February 14, 2016 6:40 am ET
by Lord Darth Figpucker, the Highly Inappropriate and Maker of Uncalled for Remarks. of Buy Chocolates at Lady Godiva's... Bitches love chocolate!
It is unlikely
that a haiku can reference
probability.

But for a haiku
to make reference to itself
is rather common.

Most trashy poets
will resort to this as a
bad comic relief.

See, I proved my point.
Just like your sister and mom;
Quite Easily Done.
Haiku # 53320, February 14, 2016 6:30 am ET
by df of Quod Erat Demonstrandum
I am half awake.
I suppose I'm half asleep.
My penis is not.
Haiku # 53319, February 13, 2016 5:11 pm ET
by df of Happy Valentine's Day
Hell is certainly
Existing girl in a porn
Snorting angel dust
Haiku # 53318, February 13, 2016 5:08 pm ET
by df of does anyone still snort PCP? Or has that fad fortuanately passed?
Bliss is probably
Existential Unicorns
Farting fairy dust
Haiku # 53317, February 13, 2016 2:32 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
haiku collection
far greater than the sumbits
and far worse than bad
Haiku # 53316, February 13, 2016 1:26 am ET
by ash
people who were once
lively jump ship and leave their
message boards blank
Haiku # 53315, February 12, 2016 1:23 pm ET
by vhs
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