Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 182 Days and 77092 Haiku later...

NOTICE!

All attempts at art
will be severely shat on
and then forgotten.
Haiku # 53486, March 11, 2016 10:06 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Oh no! Don't leave us!
What will we do without you?!
Our fearless leader!
Haiku # 53485, March 11, 2016 9:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
too much has happened
in real life to declare this
on going joke important
Haiku # 53484, March 11, 2016 1:40 pm ET
by vhs
I'm no extrovert.
Rather I'm an extravert--
extra perverted!

I'm sure extroverts
are openly obnoxious.
I'm like that just here.

Is it possible
I'm a closet extrovert?
Is it, oh wise one?
Haiku # 53481, March 11, 2016 9:17 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
sociopaths are
the ultimate extroverts
I hate extroverts
Haiku # 53480, March 10, 2016 10:50 pm ET
by vhs of especially the bad ones
Trump lubed in KY.
Each wrinkle a small pussy.
Will he get pregnant?
Haiku # 53479, March 10, 2016 4:35 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Sometimes I love goats.
Also chickens, pigs, and sheep.
And they love me back.
Haiku # 53478, March 10, 2016 4:33 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of the deams of vhs
i wonder who loves
you babe, billy goats can be
gruff with your species
Haiku # 53477, March 9, 2016 11:15 pm ET
by vhs
New definition:
Trump: leakage in underwear
after anal sex

and Mexican food.
"Oh my, I just trumped myself."
"You filthy Trump bag."
Haiku # 53476, March 9, 2016 8:38 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I almost forgot!
Donald Trump sucks dicks.
As do his six wives.
Haiku # 53475, March 9, 2016 6:29 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
One hundred million.
They say that's a big number.
My farts are larger.
Haiku # 53474, March 9, 2016 6:28 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker has chronic flatulence. of LOL... the captcha is "Cracker Swamp"! No shit!
we are relics here
when people talked trash on line
as a matter of fact
Haiku # 53471, March 9, 2016 2:29 pm ET
by vhs
also we all mourn in
our own way, perhaps these have
lost their own loves here
Haiku # 53470, March 9, 2016 2:27 pm ET
by vhs
only command can cast
demons out of people or
people who are demons
Haiku # 53469, March 9, 2016 2:26 pm ET
by vhs
that being said this is
like a dive bar, so one deals
with those down under
Haiku # 53468, March 9, 2016 2:23 pm ET
by vhs
i hate to admit
i actually like darth but
rick rhymes much with prick
Haiku # 53467, March 9, 2016 2:21 pm ET
by vhs
rick farts all too much
likely he will blow up and
they will need a sort

of hazmat team to
clean up the leftovers but
fart death natural???
Haiku # 53466, March 9, 2016 2:19 pm ET
by vhs
i am tempted to
lower myself to swine but
demons feast on this
Haiku # 53465, March 9, 2016 2:18 pm ET
by vhs
Rick, do you fart much?
From the IBS, I mean.
I fart way too much.

Great minds thing alike.
And great behinds stink alike.
So pull my finger.
Haiku # 53464, March 9, 2016 2:17 pm ET
by darth figpucker
Now I can sit back.
Vulgarity and anger.
That's entertainment.
Haiku # 53463, March 9, 2016 2:14 pm ET
by darth figpucker
when you no longer
are fed, you will starve, and then
you will understand
Haiku # 53461, March 9, 2016 12:57 pm ET
by vhs
but we were in my
path warned about swine, throw not
your pearls towards you
Haiku # 53460, March 9, 2016 12:53 pm ET
by vhs
too many people
we wish we could say goodbye
to, wish I could you :)

assholes are around
so are feet and that's where the
feet end up going
Haiku # 53459, March 9, 2016 12:50 pm ET
by vhs
when a person is
alive and not worth a kind
word and someone else

is loved and missed then
tis a sad life indeed to love
someone's hatred here
Haiku # 53458, March 9, 2016 12:42 pm ET
by vhs
I wish it were a
funny thing Carlson, death comes
for you too if the

men in white don't come
for you first so we stop the
seeing of your posts

because you're "getting help"
Haiku # 53457, March 9, 2016 12:36 pm ET
by vhs
Swedish penis pump
I owe my whole life to you
She thinks my cock's huge
Haiku # 53456, March 9, 2016 11:43 am ET
by Rick Snyder has IBS
one can only get
shocking sociopath fore
people tire of it
Haiku # 53454, March 9, 2016 11:31 am ET
by vhs
who is me and who
is not me, really but I
had to say goodbye

to someone I loved
a couple of days ago
and this doesn't matter
Haiku # 53453, March 9, 2016 11:30 am ET
by vhs
We have just one Earth
We have a duty to save
Just kidding that's gay
Haiku # 53452, March 9, 2016 9:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
We have just one Earth
We have a duty to save
Just kidding that's gay
Haiku # 53451, March 9, 2016 9:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
No way Rick, my man.
I would give you twelve fifty.
Do not cheat yourself.
Haiku # 53450, March 9, 2016 9:29 am ET
by vhs
I am disgusted.
With all of the human race.
Myself included.

But moreso poets.
I'd bomb poetry readings
if I cared enough.

But I'm too lazy.
An apathetic worm jizz.
Assuming they jizz.
Haiku # 53447, March 9, 2016 3:19 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of The Anti-Poetry Liberation Front
you're a troll, and your
words are just designed to make
people get wound up

death will come when it
does, sooner, or later but not
till our time is due
Haiku # 53446, March 9, 2016 12:27 am ET
by vhs
You should fucking die
Suck and chop your dick off please
Gulping down the bleach
Haiku # 53445, March 8, 2016 9:11 pm ET
by That motherfucker of Chiraq, Drillinois
Kim Kardashian
She's not a fucking hero
It's a naked pic

She's a god damn whore
If anyone else posted nudes
It wouldn't go well

Haiku # 53444, March 8, 2016 7:45 pm ET
by Rick Snyder has IBS
I've buried myself,
my grave in a world of shit
where nothing will grow.
Haiku # 53443, March 8, 2016 5:59 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I'll ignore all that
I have to say goodbye to
an old friend of mine
Haiku # 53440, March 8, 2016 2:30 pm ET
by vhs
tasteless and tired
the edge is nothing new but
it starts new old things
Haiku # 53437, March 8, 2016 11:39 am ET
by vhs
monoculture virus
catch a deteroration
what word is that scratch
Haiku # 53435, March 8, 2016 10:49 am ET
by vhs
Trump grump hump dump clump
bump lump stump rump jump pump slump
chump thump plump sump frump.

I'm glad I'm not Trump.
Use them all in a sentence.
I would hump Trump's rump.
Haiku # 53433, March 8, 2016 8:13 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Happy Women's Day!
Now get back in the kitchen,
and make a sammich!
Haiku # 53426, March 7, 2016 11:35 am ET
by vhs
I would hump Trump's rump
on a stump with Forrest Gump
'til he takes a dump.

Trump was my landlord.
I paid him with anal sex.
His ass was not tight.
Haiku # 53425, March 7, 2016 8:54 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Sinking to new depths.
Lower than hell's outhouse pits.
And smelling better.
Haiku # 53424, March 7, 2016 8:46 am ET
by Darth Figpucker is the master of masturbation
Sitting on The Hill,
to awaken I must have
artificial means.

Extract of rare fruits,
quite similar to cocaine,
not yet illegal.

Don't chase the dragon.
Catch that motherfucker and
fuck his scaly ass!
Haiku # 53423, March 6, 2016 9:46 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker.
The watery grave,
with all its slime and creatures,
brings me back to life.

So I'm a pervert.
Snorkeling for ocean slime
with which to jack off.

It's way better than
doing autoerotic
asphyxiation.
Haiku # 53422, March 6, 2016 9:37 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I am not gay, but...
Donald Trump has a cute mouth.
That's not hair product.
Haiku # 53421, March 6, 2016 9:28 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I know who you are.
Voracious Herpes Simplex.
You keep coming back.
Haiku # 53420, March 6, 2016 9:26 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Never read his shit.
I masturbate in your face.
You keep coming back.
Haiku # 53419, March 6, 2016 6:34 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
bukowski was the
master, I think you are just
masturbating here
Haiku # 53418, March 6, 2016 1:31 pm ET
by vhs
and what one loses
for art sometimes, the ear and
sometimes sanity
Haiku # 53417, March 6, 2016 1:23 pm ET
by vhs
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