BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
21 Years
338 Days
60251 Haikus
Put plants on your roof.
Your electric bill will drop.
This is not fake news.
Haiku #56769, by Anonymous Poet
June 9, 2017 9:47 am ET

Celebrate celibate celebrity
sleeper cell phone sex
booty call rudeness explosion
high decibel flatus
transmission @ 900 mega hurts
fails to retain significance.
Haiku #56768, by Anonymous Poet
June 8, 2017 11:38 pm ET

People are like glass
They're transparent and fragile
Some are bulletproof
Haiku #56767, by adam ben adam
June 8, 2017 10:16 pm ET

Some roofs can cover
My roof is for sunbathing
I have dread of heights
Haiku #56766, by adam ben adam
June 8, 2017 2:05 pm ET

some walls keep folks out
some are built to define...
others are to wail at
Haiku #56765, by vhs
June 8, 2017 1:43 pm ET

Teachings in war time
Rising sun enhanced by life
Rewards of the dead

Fish swim time to time
Spring blossom destined to pass
Sun shines bright slightly
Haiku #56764, by adam ben adam
June 8, 2017 12:43 pm ET

they get bored with the
same old thing and move on
to new locations

whilst others just keep
on playing uno waiting
for jcpennies

to reopen
Haiku #56763, by vhs
June 8, 2017 12:25 pm ET

testicular binocular tripod survey instrumentation festivities
all ac/dc songs sound like someone is having a really difficult time on the toilet
zit pus culture high society tea drinkers pretending to be British, but down under they drink ball sweat from down under my balls

well, it was 3 lines anyway

i prefer the chili peppers
especially on pizza
hemhorridoids be damned

hem horridoids on steroids bulking up, singing badly, and bench pressing more than I can
Haiku #56762, by Anonymous Poet
June 7, 2017 10:05 pm ET

If I fart in the forest
And no one is there to smell it
but all the trees die
was it still an awesome fart?
Haiku #56761, by df
June 7, 2017 5:25 pm ET

Time to be a whore.
Chemistry exam gang bang.
Two at the same time.

Two different exams.
How many whores can do that?
Double the money.

Those silly Arabs.
They'll never learn chemistry.
If I cheat for them.

Cell phones are awesome.
Old teachers don't watch for them.
Or Apple watches.

Talk about James Bond.
Super-spy gadgetry cheat.
Cha-cha-cha-cha Ching!

Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked
Money don't grow on trees
I got bills to pay
I got mouths to feed
And ain't nothing in this world for free
No, I can't slow down
I can't hold back
Though you know I wish I could
Oh, no, there ain't no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good
Haiku #56760, by df
June 7, 2017 5:21 pm ET

so four ironic
t-shirts later and re runs
of mork and mindy

I miss Robin who
was Williams, Genie good morning
vietnam! but all

are just women and
men vulnerable as us
all in the end, but

we can remember
we can be inspired and
we can avoid the

same tragedies i hope
Haiku #56759, by vhs
June 7, 2017 2:37 pm ET

i realize the world
has moved on while i watch it
do so around me
Haiku #56758, by vhs
June 7, 2017 2:34 pm ET

right now is a song
by Van Halen but it is
also in reference

to what i am trying to
read right now which is called
get this title please

Ben Sasse's The Vanishing American Adult...
Haiku #56757, by vhs
June 7, 2017 2:24 pm ET

i am not too fond
of amazon because I
can picture this guy

making robots to
drink the coffee for you in
a cafe' and selling

the experience
of once having been going
to those coffee shops
Haiku #56756, by vhs of espresso banano
June 7, 2017 2:21 pm ET

silent but deadly
i have heard of passing "it"
on but by God man
Haiku #56755, by vhs
June 7, 2017 2:18 pm ET

I ripped a good one.
No one is here to smell it.
Silent forest farts.
Haiku #56754, by Anonymous Poet
June 7, 2017 5:43 am ET

Cook me when I die
Feed me to the upper crust
An elegant brunch
Haiku #56753, by Mandingo Ebola of
June 7, 2017 12:10 am ET

think of this site as
a sort of haiku twitter
but no registry

off the cuff, an on
line poetry slam where folks
can post....whatever

i mean whatever!
Haiku #56752, by vhs
June 6, 2017 10:39 am ET

excuse me TECMO Bowl...
Haiku #56751, by vhs
June 6, 2017 10:29 am ET

i understand football
i don't watch it much but i
like it when i do

i don't know the teams
but i like an old game called
Techno Bowl on the

Original NES...
yes there are video games
in haiku on here
Haiku #56750, by vhs
June 6, 2017 10:29 am ET

Old Doctor Who, the
monster was made out of bubble
wrap and special lighting

new Doctor Who the
monster is state of the art
CGI and often better

than Hollywood stuff now
Haiku #56749, by vhs
June 6, 2017 10:27 am ET

i wonder if there's
anyone using old comps
like Apple IIs or

c-64s, or things like
that, look up commodore 64
games on Yo-Tube there

imagine a REAL flop
disc, real like bendy THAT'S how
we did it old school
Haiku #56748, by vhs
June 6, 2017 10:26 am ET

masturbation festival
it's nearly bed time
Haiku #56747, by df
June 6, 2017 10:26 am ET

it seems like would be
stand up comedians who
are guys mostly right

now, sort of a kind
of philosopher and a
guy who might be a

real philosopher
professionally (he is now)
posting stuff on here
Haiku #56746, by vhs of hint hint ;)
June 6, 2017 10:24 am ET

Verifying disc.
System recovery set.
Shit takes forever.
Haiku #56745, by df
June 6, 2017 10:24 am ET

I don't think I'd like
barbequed iguana sounds
silly folks from there

would eat such a thing
but oh those silly 1980s
trickle down money...
Haiku #56744, by vhs
June 6, 2017 10:23 am ET

What the fuck kind of
dumb name is Shia LaBeouf
any Goddamn way.
Haiku #56743, by df
June 6, 2017 10:22 am ET

Wall of Voodoo did
a song called "Mexican
Radio". it was odd

but i find stuff like
that fun, and i post that so
folks might look it up
Haiku #56742, by vhs
June 6, 2017 10:21 am ET

Ass ramming cream pie
chocolate puff ball boner
blow up doll wizard.
Haiku #56741, by df
June 6, 2017 10:19 am ET

Thank God for steroids.
Or science or whatever.
Nasal Olympics.
Haiku #56740, by df
June 6, 2017 10:16 am ET

fucking allergies
that time of year I suppose
strange tropical funk

ha ha ha ha CHU!
blow honk spray nasal snot mist
sorry about that
Haiku #56739, by df
June 6, 2017 10:14 am ET

Who knows vhs
Maybe you'll start a new site
May all your seeds sprout
Haiku #56738, by dvd
June 5, 2017 11:35 pm ET

the artist needs angst
to get their mojo workin'
fuel on the bonfire
Haiku #56737, by ash
June 5, 2017 8:05 pm ET

despite all this bad
stuff in the world today i
know one thing, like

Selene in the flick
Underworld, lady heroes
like Wonder Woman

Haiku #56736, by vhs
June 5, 2017 2:03 pm ET

i once read poems
at a little circle of
folks that somehow seemed

well, off, and this jolt
of survival instinct kicked
in, i left and soon

after the group broke up
Haiku #56735, by vhs
June 5, 2017 2:01 pm ET

I'm wondering if
this website fits in with stuff
i need to let go
Haiku #56734, by vhs
June 5, 2017 1:59 pm ET

well you know like those
pringles you can't eat just one
you have to post one

more haikuish thing
Haiku #56733, by vhs
June 5, 2017 11:57 am ET

one last post then the
exercise routine, keeps me
going, keeps me sane

Haiku #56732, by vhs
June 5, 2017 11:33 am ET

alanis morrisette
is overshadowed by katy
perry, also ironic
Haiku #56731, by Anonymous Poet
June 5, 2017 11:30 am ET

irony would be
a nice thing to bring back but
the irony is things

are too scary to be
ironic anymore which is
very ironic don't you think?

wish all we had to
be concerned about was rain
on one''s wedding day
Haiku #56730, by vhs
June 5, 2017 11:29 am ET

people throw away
their old movies for the bright
new shiny thing and

realize later on
the things they threw out there's a
collector's market now

same with my star wars
toys from Kenner i gave away
well money money
Haiku #56729, by vhs
June 5, 2017 11:27 am ET

well creation has
to keep coming, tides still wash
sea glass and sea shells

like clockwork despite
all the silly and scary things man
does such as causes junk

to wash up as well
Haiku #56728, by vhs
June 5, 2017 11:25 am ET

i'm procrastinating
I've things to do, and it's like
having the old game

system out and realizing
the clock is now at noon and
breakfast is soon done

it's lunch
Haiku #56727, by vhs
June 5, 2017 11:20 am ET

the mot terrifying
times in my life are letting some
not so great thing go

but when i do, it
feels like, why didn't i
do that long ago???
Haiku #56726, by vhs
June 5, 2017 11:18 am ET

one day seems like the
worst ever but like a quilt
it adds to the whole

thing of the piece, each
square, good times, bad times
dull times, quiet times

a human life all
display for insight and memory
a weaved tapestry

of time
Haiku #56725, by vhs
June 5, 2017 11:15 am ET

if i see the old
stores going away tis a
stark world we live in

but the same spirit
of ragnarok was in the
Lord of the Rings

and as always i
remind folks the Ring gets melted
the Death Star is

destroyed and Kathy
Griffith sales are declining
now Bjork needs a comeback
Haiku #56724, by vhs
June 5, 2017 11:11 am ET

the 1990s were
supposed to be so dark but
now we have a world

to be depressed in
but the response in my soul
is I need to do

something good to try
and counteract the evil in
the world, and it takes

willpower to do
just that and i will be flawed
but that is me
Haiku #56723, by vhs
June 5, 2017 11:06 am ET

the folks reading these
words, as i read some i read
with absolute horror

the doors to R'yleh
have broken open and the
Beast is out in wrath

but evil's time is short
Haiku #56722, by vhs
June 5, 2017 11:04 am ET

it's whining they say
and the votes quietly come in
and push those folks out

that want to divide
kathy is out, tours cancelled
let's see barns go up

libraries get funded
let's learn a tack from the Amish
and get it together

or weird al will do a parody video of all this stuff in our mad world
Haiku #56721, by vhs
June 5, 2017 11:00 am ET

i mean summer folks
coming out and the narcissism
the anger, the just

blind selfish focus
that overshadows the good in
any and all things, when

the good comes out that
break in the clouds that sense we
forgot our tribal

instincts to Thomas Hobbes
and woke up to a bigger picture
of a less tribal tribe

we are what we believe
Haiku #56720, by vhs
June 5, 2017 10:58 am ET