Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 167 Days and 77048 Haiku later...

The Dutroux affair !
What is it about Belgium?
Something sinister . . .

But now back to Darth:
His righteous Biblical verse
is our salvation.

Figpucker has it:
that certain je ne sais quoi
that attracts green flies
Haiku # 61333, December 19, 2018 9:13 am ET
by Fig Darthpucker of Trigonometric Parabolic
Skin Flint, Guy Smiley
Father Time, Mister Man, Slimdick.
Adolph Q. Hitler
Haiku # 61332, December 19, 2018 7:52 am ET
by Nicknames
Gaylord Cuntsnapper
Pig driller, Man about Town
Lord of the Manor
Haiku # 61331, December 19, 2018 7:47 am ET
by Asinine Fool of Sing Sing (Sing)
Figpucker: more farts.
More excrement and more filth.
And WAY more sex too.
Haiku # 61330, December 19, 2018 7:01 am ET
by Darth is too puritanical and rigidly moral
That's a bad smell
Concentrated egg farts whiff!!
It hangs in the air
Haiku # 61329, December 19, 2018 1:47 am ET
by Rigging up this booby trap we will catch perverts like you
Feeling inspired now
Rigged up a fart spray device
Protect my beaver
Haiku # 61328, December 19, 2018 1:44 am ET
by Inventor
Instant Pot Grinch Stew
Tangy snappy vaginas
Served a la 'jaculate
Haiku # 61327, December 18, 2018 9:15 pm ET
by Bob Cajun of Bobcaygeon
Calls for tradition
Fisting Sans Lubricant Eve
Make room for daddy
Haiku # 61326, December 18, 2018 9:09 pm ET
by Troughslurper of Telegraph Hill
"Santa's testicles".
Christmas meatball recipe.
In white creamy sauce.

Bell pepper and mint.
Perfect red and green garnish.
Straight rum, no egg nog.

Cuntfart Cunt's dry scabs
fly out of her vagina
like a glitter bomb.
Haiku # 61325, December 18, 2018 8:17 pm ET
by Cholesterol through the roof! of Watching glitter bomb package thief on you tube. Quite funny.
"Dark Stains on the Wall":
Old Oriental novel
Author: Hu Flung Dung
Haiku # 61324, December 18, 2018 4:52 pm ET
by Poetic School of Darth
One monkey throws poo.
This is the way things should be.
Two is a shit storm.
Haiku # 61323, December 18, 2018 4:18 pm ET
by Dead Wife, killed for drinking all of the beer and not going to the store for more.
You, Haiku poet !
Receive your wife's dead body
from Tsing-Tao beer vat.
Haiku # 61322, December 18, 2018 12:03 pm ET
by Auspicious Portents of Jade Mountain Goddess
How was your wife, hon?
Oh, a beer to hear I'm that.
I'll get you sorry .
Haiku # 61321, December 18, 2018 11:58 am ET
by Wise Maiden of of Scarlet Robe of Tsing-Tao Brewery
Paper tigers all!
Wrong thinking of Old-Way mind.
(more Hennessy, mom)
Haiku # 61320, December 18, 2018 11:48 am ET
by Gang of Four Aces of Dialectical Materialism applied to Haiku
How was your sorry, hon?
Oh, I'm that hear today.
I'll get you a wife.
Haiku # 61319, December 18, 2018 11:44 am ET
by Good Beer !

sarah jeong ill-sung:
no seoul dim sum in a-hole
pyongyang yin poontang
Haiku # 61318, December 18, 2018 11:40 am ET
by Carl Jeong of Old Vienna mit Kaffe-klatsch
How was your day, hon?
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
I'll get you a beer.
Haiku # 61317, December 18, 2018 7:44 am ET
by Good wife.
Better time wasted
Examining your gonads
Big warts and all
Haiku # 61316, December 17, 2018 10:21 pm ET
by Doc
So Darwinian
Similarly simian
Abyssinian
Haiku # 61315, December 17, 2018 7:41 pm ET
by Haile Selassie of Detroit
Hair named Donald Trump.
He make me get furious.
Him bad president.
Haiku # 61314, December 17, 2018 7:31 pm ET
by Hair Apparent of Appalling Orange
Lucy was an ape
Not a proto-humanoid.
Sorry, Donald J.
Haiku # 61313, December 17, 2018 7:26 pm ET
by Omo Afar of Turkana Banana
Bleaching straightened hair
Qualifies as cultural
Appropriation
Haiku # 61312, December 17, 2018 7:19 pm ET
by Great Mother Africa of Lapp-land
"Rat" is a mob term,
used for one who tells the truth
So yeah, Trump is right.
Haiku # 61311, December 17, 2018 6:26 pm ET
by Hahahahaha
Holiday Shopping
I'm buying you some more junk
Don't expect blow jobs
Haiku # 61310, December 17, 2018 3:55 am ET
by Shopper
Peaceful unicorn
Licking luscious lollipops
Farting rainbow dust
Haiku # 61309, December 17, 2018 3:05 am ET
by Yasmine of Fla.
Stink weed in bloom
Growing out of your anus
You call it your head
Haiku # 61308, December 17, 2018 12:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
From my shit you grow.
Fertilized words of anger.
Sprouting with hatred.

My words poured on you.
Polluted rain mutating.
See what you've become.
Haiku # 61307, December 16, 2018 11:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
This tray of cookies
I'll just leave outside your door
Shh...iced with Jizzum
Haiku # 61306, December 16, 2018 8:49 pm ET
by Elf of Shelf
Sandy Hook ghosties
Hanging with Mr. Rosen
Where's the fire station?
Haiku # 61305, December 16, 2018 8:46 pm ET
by Nun with Tremondous feet and schlong
Christmas is cancelled
Santa Claus has a boner
Now that's a North Pole
Haiku # 61304, December 16, 2018 8:43 pm ET
by Mrs. Claus of Bedroom
North Pole telegram:
No presents. Just turds this year.
Some have corn kernels
Haiku # 61303, December 16, 2018 8:40 pm ET
by Santa of North Pole
Stuff the Christmas Cunt
Stockings? Fugheddaboddit.
Tidings of tuna
Haiku # 61302, December 16, 2018 6:25 pm ET
by Holly of Halls
Wooden drummer boy
Paradiddle diddle dong
Geppetophile Song
Haiku # 61301, December 16, 2018 6:23 pm ET
by Creep
Live Nativity
Copulating donkeys bray
Redolent dung piles
Haiku # 61300, December 16, 2018 5:53 pm ET
by Soylent Knight of On the scene
Sitting on the can
Making loud sucking noises
Care for a a Werther's?
Haiku # 61299, December 16, 2018 5:50 pm ET
by Dirty Old Man of Can
Kim Il Sung send out
Most glad tiding of Christmas
From happy Pyongyang
Haiku # 61298, December 16, 2018 4:54 pm ET
by Benevolent All-Wise Leader of People's Proletarian Vanguard
Angelic voices:
The celestial choirs of God.
Darth responds. More shit.
Haiku # 61297, December 16, 2018 4:18 pm ET
by No escape now. Christmas songs of glorious Gospel surround you
Just call me Stink Floyd
Another brick in the wall
Shit them out for free

Feed me tacos, beans
Free building materials
Great Wall of Feces

Tourist attraction
My dung bricks will attract flies
Call me Frank Lloyd Wrong
Haiku # 61296, December 16, 2018 8:23 am ET
by Patent holder for Fecal Concrete of Brick Shithouse
"Waiting for the Worms."
Perfect Floyd song to poop to.
Careful with that Axe.
Haiku # 61295, December 16, 2018 6:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
There are no poems.
Here there is only feces.
Acidic butt blasts.
Haiku # 61294, December 16, 2018 6:26 am ET
by Diarrhea filled Super Soaker Squirt Gun Bank Robbery
Ebola Cola.
The Refreshing Hemorrhage!
Butt geyser blood spray.
Haiku # 61293, December 16, 2018 6:20 am ET
by Carbonated hemoglobin goblin
Elf semen queef quaff
Yuletide cornhole in progress
Pop corn in your ass
Haiku # 61292, December 16, 2018 12:25 am ET
by Andy Griffith's member of Peeking around the corner
Bent over your work
Jaws clenched. Furrowed, sweaty brow
Beating off again
Haiku # 61291, December 16, 2018 12:23 am ET
by Your mother of Sow pen
Like the poetry
Diarrheal. Runs down leg
Embarrassing stains
Haiku # 61290, December 16, 2018 12:21 am ET
by Pig joker of Hog Choker
Ebeneezer Spooge
Hot Monastery Gang Bang
But buttered ball sack
Haiku # 61289, December 15, 2018 7:15 pm ET
by It of Monastery
I likes fried frog legs.
They don' taste like no chicken.
Das jus booshe, man.
Haiku # 61288, December 15, 2018 6:01 pm ET
by Figpucker's Cajun cousin, Pierre.
Merry Motherfucking Christmas
and an Orgasm Inducing New Years
to you and your entire family,
especially the children and old people.
All you Kwanzaa and Chanukah/Hanukkah
freaks can just drown in a oil tanker
filled with rum egg nog and elf semen.
I will be celebrating
"Drink My Neighbors Piss Day"
this year with roast dog and crispy
deep fried tape worms.
And on the following day I will be
visiting as many Catholic Churches
as possible to taint their holy water
with my taint sweat.
Haiku # 61287, December 15, 2018 5:53 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Oy vay!
TOO!!!!! TOO stiff to wipe!
Jesus Christ, dude, so don't wipe.
It's overrated.
Haiku # 61286, December 15, 2018 11:32 am ET
by
Thank you for wiping
I've got smelly arthritis
Arms to stiff to wipe
Haiku # 61285, December 15, 2018 7:15 am ET
by Wilma Butteverbeclean of Latrine
When they frogmarch him
And his roadkill comb over
Straight to the Slammer
Haiku # 61284, December 15, 2018 7:11 am ET
by Citizen of USA
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