please don't mind my limp
Will you please sign my peniscast?
Firm signature, please

We struggled downstairs
Trying to choke each other
Tried to get in a punch

Little underwear
With a chance of parting cheeks
A release of brown wind

oh, the kind you buy
in a second hand store, wow
collectors item...

Raspberry Beret
It must be the ghost of Prince
Prince Rogers Nelson

what the hell are you doing in
my fucking underwear?

The kind that lives in
your underwear. Note that I
said yours and not mine.

i always enjoy
blood coming out of the walls
no, that.s...raspberry???

what fucking demon causes raspberry syrup to flow from the walls?

And the next morning
Hair was growing on the walls
The doorknobs were missing

and here we are years
later still posting haikus...

sometimes, a bit more

Found an Easter egg.
Wonder if it is still good.
One way to find out.

Hey, if you're lonely
I got some smooches for ya
John Boy Walton's Mole

mmhmm, i feel too
flushed to flush because those jokes
all went down the drain

And all In one go
A heart shaped bowel movement
Pity to flush it

Wanna know what love is..
I want you to show me
wahoooogaaaaaaaahhh yaaYaaaaah

Thinking about Love
'Cause that's what it's all about
Then I stepped in poop

It's all about Love.
Love,Love,Love,Love,Love... oh wait--
almost forgot God.

How do I know this?
WahooooooooGahhhhhhh Ya Ya
Gross Dripping sounds

When Bigfoot gets laid
Lusty moans reverberate
Trees gush sap comeload

You should hear it
My Michael MacDonald voice
I look like Bigfoot

mississippi moon, wont you
keep on shining on me

mississippi moon, wont you
keep on shining on me

By "higher" I mean stoned out of your fucking gourd.

to higher dimensions

a gateway

is a door

That jar

This can

all your tweets are belong to us

That can

That can... ??? Don't fall in
can like a dangling feces.
Kerplop. There it went.

That can

Nothing to say here
That can

Pass ammunition
And Praise the Lord Figpucker
Let God sort it out

If you don't get V,
And you do not get the D,
You don't get VD.

My fart's better than yoooor fart.
My fart's better than yours!
My fart's better 'cause it gets durian.
My fart's better than yours!

For a really good fart, durian and pomelo fruits combined! And if you're brave, add balot egg for some serious professional flatus. I haven't reached that level. Maybe if I get drunk enough.... but I'm not supposed to drink. Oh well. Maybe just once. worth the risk.

Promise not to laugh
My fart is my best feature
Savory and sweet

Low flying saucer
Look! Green alien, JoJo
Hurling rotten eggs

Santorum harvest
Hark! The Skinflute whistle blows
Work, Oompa Loompas!

Velveeta cheese food.
Hydrogenated butt lube.
Processed santorum.

Trump hair yellow dye.
Disodium mastearbate.
One percent cheddar.

Baloney sandwich
Stuck to the roof of my house
The seagulls will feast

I said have not gave usomnofabiotch

My, how you gave grown
Those penis enlargement pills
But aren't they for men?

I pee in the streets
Make zig zag pattern and swirls
I just might be drunk

all your shitholes are belong to us

chinese communist infiltration?

I can

Substandard living.
Flies, mosquitoes, rotting filth,
ugly prostitutes.

They talk a good speech
in the land of hypocrites.
Ethics and Morals.

They pee in the streets,
Crazy people walk naked,
You can't jog shirtless!

all your pigfuckers are belong to us

But only that once!
being right once in your life...
each dog has its day.

But that was not nice.
Comparing trump to a dog.
Dogs are not that bad.

They make a great stew!
Can't say I'd want to eat trump.
That's for Russian whores.

And you're incorrect.
I am not into shit holes.
Only shit poems.

Figpucker admits
Regarding his favorite hole:
Donald Trump was RIGHT !