Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 187 Days and 77101 Haiku later...

OldNasty is cool
why do you spaz out so much?
I should do homework
Haiku # 1316, February 25, 1999 12:09 pm ET
by Lugenius Speed
my mom and her pets
won't answer my damn phone calls
i still need a loan
your ghost means we work
Haiku # 1315, February 25, 1999 1:51 am ET
by oldnasty of ukiah, usa
StanLee you're manly
ground beef needs your ritual
your ghost means we work
Haiku # 1314, February 25, 1999 1:47 am ET
by oldnasty of ukiah, usa
lameness is lameness
and to rhyme would be shameless
and oh! So...Janeless
Haiku # 1313, February 25, 1999 1:44 am ET
by oldnasty of ukiah, usa
rain rain rain rain rain
rain rain rain rain rain rain rain
sydney is like that
Haiku # 1312, February 24, 1999 6:32 am ET
by ash
frisky phrost is lame
hmm, but is lame good or bad?
I need to go shit
Haiku # 1311, February 23, 1999 5:34 pm ET
by StanLee Christians of Arcata, Wierdistan
o chilly willy
haiku sucks a diff'rent way
go inhale a phart
Haiku # 1310, February 23, 1999 5:11 am ET
by ash
hiakus can suck my phat cock
Haiku # 1309, February 22, 1999 8:25 pm ET
by phrost of shit, usa
Benji is my pal
he was very bored today
no skating was done
Haiku # 1308, February 21, 1999 12:36 am ET
by Frumpycrab USA
I need a break from
Fucking reality 'cause
It really blows now.
Haiku # 1307, February 19, 1999 12:15 pm ET
by JanePrinceton, USA
another pecker
silent wind breaks from my ass
computer lab stinks
Haiku # 1306, February 18, 1999 8:39 pm ET
by StanLee Christians of Arcata, Afghanistan
DULL JOURNAL
Come to dull journal
A real stupid adventure
This, a shameless ad.
Haiku # 1305, February 18, 1999 8:31 pm ET
by Stanley Christians of Arcata, USA
hot wool everywhere
my balls smell like burnt lamb chops
mint jelly soaked sheets
Haiku # 1304, February 18, 1999 10:29 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Your sheepish grin speaks
volumes, and we all know that
you're a baaaaaad liar.
Haiku # 1303, February 18, 1999 9:13 am ET
by Intern
that sheep never lies
standing there now, back to you
dripping evidence
Haiku # 1302, February 18, 1999 1:49 am ET
by squish
You can't prove a thing
No one can prove what happened
The sheep are liars!
Haiku # 1301, February 17, 1999 11:52 pm ET
by nunya bidness of Houston,
Romantic haikus
Have a place here but they must,
Of Course, suck out loud.
Haiku # 1300, February 17, 1999 8:19 pm ET
by Reverend Jim
Happy birthday Steve
Tomorrow is your big day
Get drunk off your ass
Haiku # 1299, February 17, 1999 4:17 pm ET
by JanePrinceton, USA
Fuck off dear bastard
Extraordinary dickhead
Take quarter, buy life
Haiku # 1298, February 17, 1999 4:15 pm ET
by JanePrinceton, USA
In the morning I
have a shitty voice that's great
for calling in sick.
Haiku # 1297, February 17, 1999 11:30 am ET
by Intern
There once was a Jane
in whose pocket I'd love to
blast off my rocket
Haiku # 1296, February 17, 1999 10:26 am ET
by squish
There once was a Jane
from Princeton who'd sit on my
face and smoke Winstons
Haiku # 1295, February 17, 1999 10:02 am ET
by squish
There once was a Jane
from Nantucket who's clit was
so fine I'd suck it
Haiku # 1294, February 17, 1999 9:58 am ET
by squish
There once was a guy
Who instead of limericks
Wrote me love haikus
Haiku # 1293, February 17, 1999 12:59 am ET
by JanePrinceton, USA
hygiene and pizza
the anguish of bad acne
they bring the deep dish
Haiku # 1292, February 16, 1999 5:00 pm ET
by oldnasty of usa
my aching lungs wheeze
no money for the gas bill
need fresh bongwater
Haiku # 1291, February 16, 1999 4:57 pm ET
by oldnasty of usa
if we had women
we could have some hot tub sex
if we had hot tub
Haiku # 1290, February 15, 1999 11:55 pm ET
by Thunder Stork
thank you very much
a queen size bed means more room
for sex with myself
Haiku # 1289, February 15, 1999 11:53 pm ET
by Thunder Stork
OK, I dont mind
Its my pleasure to do them
I love the dishes
Haiku # 1288, February 15, 1999 3:51 am ET
by TimDunedin, NZ
Sometimes I wonder:
How much ejaculated,
Any night on Earth?
Haiku # 1287, February 15, 1999 3:45 am ET
by Tim of Dunedin, NZ
Toasted cheese sandwich
A Noblemans invention
Ow Fuck! burnt my lip.
Haiku # 1286, February 15, 1999 3:44 am ET
by Tim of Dunedin, NZ
Why should I do them?
If I got home earlier
I would cook, you clean.
Haiku # 1285, February 15, 1999 3:42 am ET
by Tim of Dunedin, NZ
Always the dishes
Eating and making a mess
And always my turn
Haiku # 1284, February 15, 1999 3:41 am ET
by Tim of Dunedin, NZ
The girl is happy
She hugs every puppy
And laughs at their bites
Haiku # 1283, February 14, 1999 7:22 am ET
by elmyra duff of peoria, Guess
I'm sorry you're sad
But you're not allowed to live
Vicariously
Haiku # 1282, February 13, 1999 11:56 pm ET
by JanePrinceton, USA
we laughed at the thought
her teeth grinding in her sleep
in a bathroom cup
Haiku # 1281, February 13, 1999 6:48 am ET
by ashley
weird looking small fish
blue betassled doral fin
so who's the freak now?
Haiku # 1280, February 13, 1999 6:35 am ET
by ashley of Oz
if we had some ham
we could have some ham and eggs
if we had some eggs
Haiku # 1279, February 13, 1999 2:01 am ET
by oldnasty usa
here is an oldy

but fine piece of bad haiku

the man is knocking



if we had some ham
we could have some ham and eggs

if we had some eggs
oldnasty
Haiku # 1278, February 13, 1999 2:01 am ET
by Stanilicious Bubbalicious of usa
livin is easy
when you stroll through large cactus
and don't wear no drawers
Haiku # 1277, February 12, 1999 11:36 pm ET
by Thunder Stork
Hello I am Gay
Anal Rape isnt for boys
Leave me alone please.
Haiku # 1276, February 11, 1999 7:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of no
Hello I am Gay
Anal Rape isnt for boys
Leave me alone please.
Haiku # 1275, February 11, 1999 7:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of no
Hello I am Gay
Anal Rape isnt for boys
Leave me alone please.
Haiku # 1274, February 11, 1999 7:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of no
took a massive shit
contemplated size and girth
stood in disbelief
Haiku # 1273, February 11, 1999 2:17 pm ET
by Thunder Stork
drawing nude people
is harder than you might think
the same goes for me
Haiku # 1272, February 11, 1999 2:10 pm ET
by Thunder Stork
March comes in like a
lion and goes ot like a
skank in a cat fight.
Haiku # 1271, February 11, 1999 1:05 pm ET
by Intern
I wouldn't fuck her
with a dog's dick and someone
else's pelvic thrusts.
Haiku # 1270, February 11, 1999 12:41 pm ET
by Intern
trained my grandma's dog
to piss on the kitchen floor
when someone sneezes
Haiku # 1269, February 11, 1999 10:44 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
no haiku G-Man?
the poison is in your brain
and u will submit
Haiku # 1268, February 11, 1999 7:57 am ET
by ash
hey jane, with that brain
don't repeat your sad refrain
ivy ! ivy ! way !
Haiku # 1267, February 11, 1999 6:24 am ET
by ash