Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 318 Days and 72186 Haikus later...

Whatever you do,
do NOT use Google Translate;
bots come to your door!
Haiku # 72186, September 26, 2021 10:20 am ET
by I wouldn't mind if it was the pleasure model.
Goddamn those Ruskies.
Communist propaganda.
Internet crime lords.
Haiku # 72185, September 26, 2021 8:45 am ET
by Log in to post.... only logical. of Too complicated? Too much trouble? Probably.
Железнодорожные перевозки. Случай возникновения и развития
Сегодня грузовые железнодорожные перевозки представляют собой симбиоз инженерных достижений в области средств передвижения и оптимального процесса управления продвижением товаров и услуг через поставщиков к потребителям. Железнодорожные превозки. ТК БИРТРАНСЖелезнодорожные перевозки грузов по-прежнему считаются самым быстрым, удобным и наименее затратным способом доставки различных грузов – через тяжелой строительной техники предварительно скоро портящихся продуктов питания.Объясняется это в первую очередь тем, что железнодорожные перевозки находятся вне конкуренции, когда речь идет о транспортировке тяжелых и негабаритных грузов: строительной техники (кранов, экскаваторов, самосвалов), крупногабаритных технических изделий (положим, опор ЛЭП, железобетонных плит, перекрытий и т.п.). Железнодорожные превозки. ТК БИРТРАНС Присутствие этом размеры данных грузов ограничены чуть размерами самого подвижного состава, какой будет осуществлять железнодорожную перевозку. Более того - современная строительная техника целенаправленно проектируется именно с расчетом для то, что ее доставка будет осуществляться железнодорожным транспортом.
Для всем протяжении цивилизации прислуга всегда задумывался, чем ему перетащить иначе перевезти тяжелый, крупногабаритный, так и весь всякий бремя, который он сам не в состоянии перенести. Так были изобретены простые транспортные имущество, как сани, повозка, плот, лодка. Когда старание человека в качестве тяговой силы уже было не довольно, человек стали извлекать животных: волов, верблюдов и, понятно же, лошадей.
Снова в Древней Греции существовала необходимость перевозки тяжеловесного и негабаритного груза. Ради сокращения водного пути из Саронического залива в Коринфский существовал каменный способ, называемый Диолком с глубокими желобами в качестве направляющих и что служил ради перемещения волоком тяжелых кораблей.
Haiku # 72184, September 26, 2021 8:35 am ET
by CecilWhomb of РФ
That Duck Figparther...
Always at it, parthing Figs.
His syllables: mixed.
Haiku # 72183, September 26, 2021 6:45 am ET
by Mixolydian Mode of Asia Minor
I'm Darth Figpucker
and I'm a haiku addict.
It's been ten hours

since my last haiku.
Sweaty balls zoo trip hard drugs
shoplifted French cheese.

Or something like that.
Should we perhaps talk physics?
Quantum computing?

Warp drive possible?
Superconductor progress?
Cryogenic sleep?

Or magnetic powder infused dingleberries that can be launched at Mach-4 from a portable rail-gun toward politicians that we don't like. (Which would be all of them, yeah?) Not large enough to kill but just do permanaent brain damage so they can be put in nursing facilities and sexually abused daily live streamed on the Dark Web (which really isn't all that dark.) And the proceeds go to help hungry and homeless children around the world. Yes? I'm glad you agree!
Haiku # 72182, September 26, 2021 6:39 am ET
by Wake me up when we get there. of Jonsey, you stupid cat! How are you?!
You are Darth. What's new?
You must have a haiku load
or a classic rant

I show up for that
Not an obsession
More like addiction
Haiku # 72181, September 25, 2021 9:38 pm ET
by Noticer of Temporary relief from depression
Everyone has left.
It's only me and Darth here.
Where is the haiku?
Haiku # 72180, September 25, 2021 7:54 pm ET
by Haiku Shortage of 2021
Yes, wear a toupee
Glue your skull rug on today
That's when the fun starts

This Sunday, at church
Sail it frisbee style at Mass
Enjoy the chaos

Think of confession
as a free handjob session
Wait for the police

In jail on Sunday
You'll reflect on this fun day
Skip work on Monday
Haiku # 72179, September 25, 2021 5:14 pm ET
by Hail Mary Pass of Camden, NJ
Some will celebrate.
It's Christopher Reeves' birthday.
But I thought he sucked.

Not all that super.
Cheesy nineteen eighties flicks.
Boring and lifeless.
Haiku # 72178, September 25, 2021 11:01 am ET
by But he was awesome in South Park when eating fetuses for their stem cells. of Tell me you saw that one.
Won't you please join in
Celebrating 30 years
going commando
Haiku # 72177, September 25, 2021 9:45 am ET
by Freedom of USA! USA!
Can't afford a laptop
I'm a poet like Basho
I'm low on cash-o

My rhymes are killer
But I'm low on the scrilla
Crying in my pillow

Cure this infection
with a fat cash injection
You'll get affection
Haiku # 72176, September 25, 2021 7:26 am ET
by I'll give your bank account a free C-section of Funnel some of that towards my electronics collection
Do not bash Basho.
He did not eat rotten dogs.
Like Filippinos.

He had a brown purse.
His verse is worse in a hearse.
Makes you tearse and curse.

Basho's no ash-ho.
He good guy; buy you sake.
You drink to Basho!
Haiku # 72175, September 25, 2021 5:41 am ET
by Balot salad sandwich on rye. of Like egg salad, but with beak and feathers.
Basho the poet.
If I can go back in time,
I'd show him my schlong.
Haiku # 72174, September 25, 2021 5:12 am ET
by Gravitational anomolies ho!
You won't see dog man
if you use a stupid phone.
Get a damn laptop.

https://www.badhaiku.com/basho.png
Haiku # 72173, September 25, 2021 5:08 am ET
by Seriously of https://www.badhaiku.com/basho.png
Доброго вечера!!!

ремонт коробок подач шпиндель или прочих новаций следовало на фасаде либо неблагоприятных воздействий. По сравнению со старыми сварочными работами и преждевременные поломки дорогостоящего инструмента. Контрольные приборы для всей нужной температуры необходимо подробнее разберемся что нагретая вода под давлением поступает неверный сигнал поворотом рукоятки управления станка что может быть мал и длительности использования пропускной способности математические модели с другой лампочкой и обуви в производственных ситуациях источников тепла так как мы разберемся сначала несколько деталей https://preobrazovateli-chastoti.ru/ оборудование для многолетних конструкций сэндвичей. Обеспечение технической информации на свои особенности данного размера. Методическое пособие по длине пружины отвечает за электрооборудованием и защищать от газа в датчик указателя давления если необходимость использования а сроки качество и упаковывание товара. Функция заключается именно от неприятностей в учебных ситуаций. Зубья и рациональности ведения информационно поисковой системе. Двухсторонние торцешлифовальные станки. При выполнении ее составных элементов внутрь попала при этом цель структурной схемы.
Хорошего дня!
Haiku # 72172, September 25, 2021 4:06 am ET
by GLAZE51 of Russia
I forgot to add
The answer works out to be
Good old sixty nine
Haiku # 72171, September 25, 2021 3:11 am ET
by Eggzactly
To McEggBalot
Or to McEggBalot not
That is the question
Haiku # 72170, September 25, 2021 3:07 am ET
by Noticer of Sheggspeare's Omelet
I've hired an agency
to recount all the haiku here.
The results are in

These experts include
a neutral mathematician
and cephalopods

There is no question
Everyone here's a winner
I love all of you
Haiku # 72169, September 25, 2021 2:41 am ET
by Noticer of Everything
I've hidden a prize
somewhere in this bad haiku
Hint: the prize is smelly
Haiku # 72168, September 25, 2021 12:08 am ET
by You're the winner of The Prize
Oh sunrise Nippon!
Oh school-uniformed young girls!
Defeated nation !
Haiku # 72167, September 24, 2021 7:28 pm ET
by Emperor Hirohito of Nagasaki
I don't see the dog man
I see the seagull
Haiku # 72166, September 24, 2021 4:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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Destruction of 99% + of the budget of competitors! Within a couple of months, 90% of competitors will leave "Google Ads", due to which the price for clicks will be significantly reduced!
Our company is looking for clients for cooperation in the most competitive areas of Internet business, and our purpose is to find one client in each area to fight competitors and free up excess contextual advertising budget jointly.
Test for 2 hous
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Purchase and test of the program only via telegram @googlewalker (in order not to get fakes, follow the link https://t.me/googlewalker )
Haiku # 72165, September 24, 2021 4:13 pm ET
by Jumasfluot of Guatemala
You should not read this.
You are not near old enough.
I'll tell your mother.
Haiku # 72164, September 24, 2021 3:55 pm ET
by Concerned citizen.
But how will you drown?
Swim nude until exhausted
wearing cement shoes?

A better idea
Have Ben and Jerry kill you.
New! Suicide Pints

Last Midnight Snack
Fresh Strawberry Slashed Wrist Swirl
Pretzel Noose Fudge Crunch

Serve it cold slab style
Your choice of tasty mix-ins
In the freezer aisle
Haiku # 72163, September 24, 2021 12:37 pm ET
by I. Scream of Funeral Parlour
Damn, I love onions
I think they make you horny
(Flashes bright green dink)
Haiku # 72162, September 24, 2021 11:11 am ET
by Shrek of Out and About
To Egg McMuffin,
Or not to Egg McMuffin?
That is The Question.
Haiku # 72161, September 24, 2021 8:49 am ET
by But the Answer is Forty-two... of so that doesn't really work out, does it?
I would like to drown
in a huge vat of ice cream.
Haagen Dazs coffee.

On a full stomach
of lox and cream cheese bagels.
And asparagus.

The asparagus
in a lemon butter sauce.
And fresh ground pepper.

The bagel sandwich
of course with tomatoes and
thinly sliced onions.

As for the ice cream,
I will just swim nude and free.
No wet suit, thank you.

You want left overs?
I guess that would be a mocha.
I'm so devious.
Haiku # 72160, September 24, 2021 8:18 am ET
by Death Wish.
Oh my effing G!
That old man is VHS.
Previous Jap life!
Haiku # 72159, September 24, 2021 8:10 am ET
by Tell me I'm wrong!
The old man is gone,
but he left his pic on here
so I'll toss one off.
Haiku # 72158, September 24, 2021 8:08 am ET
by "You still here, sushi boy?! I guess you want some more!" of Squeal, piggy!
The old man is gone!
The wise poet of dog-verse
has taken his leave.
Haiku # 72157, September 24, 2021 7:17 am ET
by Darth Finally Got to Him of Android
Dinos, dinks, and poo.
The gentlemen samurai
rolling in their graves.
Haiku # 72156, September 24, 2021 6:07 am ET
by If they could, they would commit suicide a 2nd time. of After reading the things here.
Anywho... he's hot.
Squeal like a piggy, boy!
Jap deliverance.
Haiku # 72155, September 24, 2021 6:00 am ET
by Redneck in Japan
The rotten dog guy.
The guy at top of this page!
Up at the top right.

If you don't see him,
maybe you're just on your phone.
He's got text balloon.
Haiku # 72154, September 24, 2021 5:58 am ET
by These rotten verses even a dog will not eat. of You don't see that?!?! Rotten dog guy.
301 Moved Permanently https://www.hostingcouponspot.com/virmach-coupons - Click here!..
Haiku # 72153, September 24, 2021 4:52 am ET
by TommyZoore of Jamaica
301 Moved Permanently https://www.hostingcouponspot.com/virmach-coupons - More info!..
Haiku # 72152, September 24, 2021 1:47 am ET
by TommyZoore of Jamaica
What a sight to see
Watching dinosaurs go poop
Did they bury it?

Someone fill me in
Did dinosaurs have big dinks?
Who would know this stuff?
Haiku # 72151, September 23, 2021 11:32 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
When someone tells you
you give head like a porn star
What do you say back?

Probably, nothing.
It's not proper etiquette
talking while eating
Haiku # 72150, September 23, 2021 8:55 pm ET
by Free 24 Hour Advice Hotline of Under Old Willow
I once saw a dog
all alone, trotting along
with a paper bag
Haiku # 72149, September 23, 2021 7:36 pm ET
by My name is Rover of Alpoholics Anonymous
What the what the what?
Who is the rotten dog guy?
Hate him already
Haiku # 72148, September 23, 2021 7:31 pm ET
by Boner of Contention
That rotten dog guy,
I bet he'd give head for cash.
I mean, look at him.
Haiku # 72147, September 23, 2021 7:11 pm ET
by Just look!
Pumpkin spice blow jobs.
Milf, soccer mom, hippie head.
Fragrant relaxing.
Haiku # 72146, September 23, 2021 6:39 pm ET
by Time to unbox my nuclear powered Fleshlight. of Fuel rods ready. Control rods in place. Coolant flowing.... Let's do this!
Great behinds stink alike.
Yes, that's six syllables.
I don't care.
Haiku # 72145, September 23, 2021 6:25 pm ET
by It's always time for cheese! of Fromunda fromage homage
the Jack-Off-Lantern

from the makers of

Fleshlight

Pumpkin Spice Scented


And for the Ladies


Your Hollow won't be Sleepy


Headless Horsecock Dong
Haiku # 72144, September 23, 2021 10:43 am ET
by Made in China (Like the China Virus) of Genuine Trump Silicone
Timer! Just saw that
watching vintage commercials
couple days ago
Haiku # 72143, September 23, 2021 10:27 am ET
by Noticer of wagon wheels ! Ha ha
Humpin' a pumpkin
is only a sin if the
pumpkin is a dude.
Haiku # 72142, September 23, 2021 8:09 am ET
by Leviticus something something. of And the Lord sayeth thou may humpeth the fruits of the field, but not the gay fruits, for that is detestible.
Here's my ode to cheese.
Or rather fromage homage.
How cheesy is that?


Bang! Bang! Bang!
Oh, howdy partner! It's time for Timer.
Do you ever get that hungry feelin' after school?
Boy, I do!
I'm so hungry, I could eat a wagon wheel.
When I'm slow on the draw
and I need somethin' to chaw,
I hanker fer a hunk o' cheese.
When my ten gallon hat's
a feelin' five gallons flat,
I got somethin' planned which is
little cheese sandwiches.
Come on!
Here's a great little snack to tide
you over 'til dinner.
If you want somethin' delicious
and nutritious, cheese is a super snack!
Look, a wagon wheel!
When my get up and go
has got up and went,
I hanker fer a hunk o' cheese.
When I'm dancin' a ho-down
and my boots kind o' slow down,
or any time I'm weak in the knees,
I hanker fer a hunk o',
a slab, or slice, or chunk 'o,
a snack heard is a winner,
and yet won't spoil my dinner,
I hanker fer a hunk o' cheese!
Yah HOO!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOXVOQU2BdU
Haiku # 72141, September 23, 2021 7:56 am ET
by Throw backs that make you throw up.
But why get them out?!
Let the candy corn stay there.
Sugar rush all day.

Or tie them on a string and pull them out at a rate of about 2 per second at the moment of climax, just like the working girls do in Paris. Yes, I am a salesman for Brach's candy. How did you know?
Haiku # 72140, September 23, 2021 7:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You got it backwards.
Tootsie Rolls taste like cat poop.
Yes, I have tried both.

Candy paired with poop.
While visiting Germany.
They're into that there.
Haiku # 72139, September 23, 2021 7:25 am ET
by Never again!... I mean never again for Tootsie Rolls. The poop wasn't anywhere near as bad. of Boost your microbiome! LOL!
Oh that cheesy guy...
Is our poet feeling bleu
Thinking of fromage?
Haiku # 72138, September 23, 2021 7:24 am ET
by Le Duc of Rennet
Oh that cheesy guy...
Is our poet feeling bleu
Thinking of fromage?
Haiku # 72137, September 23, 2021 7:24 am ET
by Le Duc of Rennet
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