woman in next cube
she noisily passes gas
smells like baby food

triple entendres
are really tough to pull off:
nixon, what a dick!

joe frank lifts the rug
where we sweep all our despair
and wades into it

Woman asked barkeep
for a double entendre
he gave it to her

I now have a watch
That receives text messages
Neat-o Torpedo!

i have but one name
though some may call me trouble
kiss my cloven butt

haiku 13482

I have many names,
Son of the Morning is one.
Kiss my cloven hoof.

Isaiah 14:12

At Safeway this week:
fresh cut asparagus spears,
two pounds for a buck

Walt Disney once said:
"It's a small world after all..."
-Now HE'S in a fridge!

some radiation
experimental whaling
ain't it all science?

so cheap and crude...
perhaps a big degrading
blame Society

dolphin in tuna -
that's what i was suggesting
though not ground to bits

Best dolphin I had
was caught in a net and ground
up in my tuna

The spot on your back
that I pressed just right last night
is still on my mind

Stumbling through the grass
I find my way back to camp
but too stoned to sleep

My sky spins blue
like the waves that surround you
making me spin, too

The beast comes at you
his eyes are bright white but they
turn red in retreat

bet, be my mermaid -
give to me your salty spray
take a dolphin ride

she goes in colors
she's a rainbow a rainbow
erotic colors

yes! good idea!
got to keep on movin', move
move on far away

*correction:

the pressure of legs
strong enough to part the sea
i rise from its depths...

the pressure of legs
strong enough to part the sea
i'm rising from its depths...

Legs drape cross your lap
while sweat beading sun leaves you
a wet silhouette

cetaceous rumblings
in this electric ocean
and saline so sweet

trickling the sea
i swim against your current
nameless, briny, moist

a rolling drop of
lubricious perspiration
escaping navel

quickening, rounding
the banked curves of soft belly
lost in a thicket

the surface tension
of a rolling bead of sweat
has captured my thoughts

grunting and moaning
yelling, huffing and puffing
and he's just typing

Sweat beads from your lips
tickling my neck as they run
down past my belly

Could be, I'm not sure
could be first drafts, practice and
time for me to move on

what does it all mean?
you talk a load of crap moxie
far as I can tell

.......ahem...:

.matutinal light...
incipient, luculent:
..a coot's minuet

To those below me
who are in hell, then you
mock those above you
in an attempt
to get them to join you
forever...

Man from Cali hits
a deer in New England and
is shocked when the cop
says, "do you want it?"

Happenstance, it's a
webby, and our enemies
make things more joyful

Beer nuts are sold at
a dollar per pound--Deer nuts
are under a buck!

there's nothing better then
slurping oysters from the shells
hmmmm maybe there is

A constant sweat flows
Devistation all around
Dead A/C unit

incalculable
hideous deformity
it's moxie again

Yummy loaf of meat
Surrounded by potatoes
Sweet sauce tops it all

shocking news update!
despite previous reports,
grandma has TWO cocks!

a man with two dicks
will pee in two directions
don't stand next to him

Don't call me 'hunchback'!
I won't call you pussy face.
How about Dick Nose?

(I have a hunch you won't
like that either. FUCK YOU!)

A man with two dicks
A girl with three nice big tits
Are they not human?

A cold can of Bud,
A girl with really BIG TITS.
I am in heaven!

is a tricycle
that has one, two or four wheels
a bad tricycle?

Some adults wish that
their opinion was the one
true one, so much flush...

Cold ribs in Rockland
salmonella hour' devours
with Mt. Dew!

(it's not exactly a "bad haiku"...I'll try that next)

so many ideas
so many opinions said
boldly, so much weight

Fish feces won't fit?
Use other words to say it
Try using bass turds