new financial year
some old lies brought to account
with creative flair

Where is Lauren's car?
Junkyard? No. Big rip in tire.
Dead car at Lydia's.

I had 8 bottles
Maybe 9, you can't be sure
When you drink sake

My red wookie dead
Would have liked to use him more
Death from atrophy

old men drive young men
to work late and wreck their their lives
and become old men

i wish i had sucked
but instead i used my bite
unfulfillingly

everything sucks

my new filling broke
it seems that life is too hard
unlike dental work

grandma has a cock
grandma has a cock
grandma has a cock

It's Sake Fest Nite!
Rajiv will cover the tab
Isn't he just great?

Betty LeBomb is
The lamest person online
Rape and kill her Please

procrastinating
entertain me, grasshopper
don't want to practice

I have greasy poo
It squirts out of my pants hard
I made it my soup

Egg drop soup is good
Actually, it get's old... fast
I hate egg drop soup

Drop shell in backwards
Not headfirst, you idiot
Anyone see the groom?

What did crockpot do?
Are you in pottery class
or just subversion?

Who thought of crockpots?
This person should be punished
I hate the darn thing

poetry contest
"WE WILL PUBLISH ALL POEMS"
we'll see about that

My friend's last name's cool
It's Paraskevopoulos
Mine's five times shorter

yeah? so kill me!

AH! Stop with the crap!
5-7-5, it's not hard
Get it right or die!!

I don't know how to
Create a submit function
Can you teach me please?

~Lauren

So I visited
your site Lauren, but there is
no submit function?

what's up with that ?

The premise is bad,
Bad Haiku, so extra syllables
just make them ever so much badder?

Lauren took a pee
in a field of leeks, looking
at leeks while leaking

Pee beside the road
Unparalleled ecstasy
Look before you leak

You have broken rule
Oh sacred rule of haiku
Now prepare to die

chill out JD who
really cares how they are written?
what about 2-5-2?

Everyone knows that
Haiku's are 5-7-5
Write them right next time

hmm that don't make
sense, forgot the 'sweeping wide',
oh well fuck it!

Like a cross-eyed
janitor, he flings haiku
all over the place

What did the zero
say to the eight?__Hey bud!
You got a nice belt!

Oh Jamiroquai...
Great funky guitar goodness
But your lyrics suck

ill iteration
the holes heal near my whole heel
homonymously

died at fifty two
a vietnam overdose
and i will miss him

Editted version for clarity reasons... sorry for the inconvenience

NO! Rats are better!!
Steals and hides it under chairs
Man... How cool is that?!

Killer goats are dumb
Steals and hides it under chairs
Man... How cool is that?!

rats are not great pets
killer goats are way better
they will protect you

Rats are super pets
They're better then killer goats
They go "Squeak, queak, squeak!"

Killer goats are great
they eat arms and legs of kids
i wish i had one

N'Sync Backstage Pass
An excellent game of wits
Lance needs to die soon

Oh my goodness, Why!!!

Why must I work Saturday?

I'm being punished.



No sashimi now

Not even miso today

It's a carrot bowl.

old jokes never die
especially the good ones
grandma has a cock!

your soup getting cold?
how about fugu instead
one treat to die for

Miso-Ramen stuff
I'm poor but slightly fancy
I want sashimi.

that was a great run
considering no one cared
oh well, no riots

hey you all it's been
a little while since i
have been on this site

go usa soccer!
beat the nazi's even though
we probably can't

At last she was free
Free of the guilt, free from pain
Chill out, babe... the grave

as the grave stood still