Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

who the hell told me
that i had any business
writing these haikus
Haiku # 23697, December 3, 2002 11:29 pm ET
by Unrepentant Failure of the Hinterlands
farming on the face,
hoping for a good harvest --
squeezing my pimples
Haiku # 23696, December 3, 2002 11:23 pm ET
by Unrepentant Failure of the Hinterlands
when i was little
my turds were small hard pebbles
that hurt to squeeze out

now that i'm older
my poop has turned squishier
and harder to wipe
Haiku # 23695, December 3, 2002 11:20 pm ET
by Unrepentant Failure of the Hinterlands
The farts of others
always stink; secretly though
we enjoy our own
Haiku # 23694, December 3, 2002 11:16 pm ET
by Unrepentant Failure of the Hinterlands
if i don't wipe real
good, sometimes my sphincter gets
a sore spot on it
Haiku # 23693, December 3, 2002 11:15 pm ET
by Unrepentant Failure of the Hinterlands
sometimes my poop plips
and other times it goes plop
but it always stinks
Haiku # 23692, December 3, 2002 11:11 pm ET
by Unrepentant Failure of the Hinterlands
most nights my feet stink
they smell salty and cheesy
i kind of like it
Haiku # 23691, December 3, 2002 11:07 pm ET
by Unrepentant Failure of the Hinterlands
funny little mole
you have turned irregular
do i have cancer?
Haiku # 23690, December 3, 2002 11:04 pm ET
by Unrepentant Failure of the Hinterlands
they swim mindlessly
fish swimming in the circle
they know no better

they're swimming right now
round and round and round they go
they swim forever
Haiku # 23689, December 3, 2002 10:14 pm ET
by generic alter-ego of pleasanton
if you observant
you get some Lips trivia
look, my submit times
Haiku # 23688, December 3, 2002 9:58 pm ET
by Lips McCoy
If i may, i need to get some things
off my chest. A while ago, i may
have said some stuff or acted in a
manner that may have made some of you wonder "whats wrong with
old Lips?" Well, i was going thoug
a hard time and i says some thing.
it all come from the Heroin, tru.
Let ube know that this statemitten
void all others that bash myself. sock that !, all is bright, MERRY
CHRISTMAS
Haiku # 23687, December 3, 2002 9:55 pm ET
by Lips McCoy
ahh! what has happened?
everyone suck at haikus
do better next time.
Haiku # 23686, December 3, 2002 9:44 pm ET
by Lips McCoy
OR BOMBSKIN!
WTF?
yea bombskin
what is that?
well Ardon, bombskin is a travellers who wen with the tiem alls., yea yea he does that too,1
why, how can i learn more?
pubeu library!!!!!!!!4
Haiku # 23685, December 3, 2002 8:55 pm ET
by Lips McCoy
your problems with pants
are better than having brown
skidmarks in the back
Haiku # 23684, December 3, 2002 5:00 pm ET
by Unrepentant Failure of the Hinterlands
Invited girlfriend
Marking her territory
Throws out my bum pants
Haiku # 23683, December 3, 2002 4:57 pm ET
by titus wong
Ostriches, oysters
and steaks oh my! MUST GET JEANS
Damn you Pants of Chance
Haiku # 23682, December 3, 2002 4:52 pm ET
by onjaysun
i wish all these chicks
would stop riding on my jock
it's embarrassing
Haiku # 23681, December 3, 2002 2:32 pm ET
by Unrepentant Failure of the Hinterlands
' ... couldn't wait for you ... '
sounds like a strange reason to
marry someone else
Haiku # 23680, December 3, 2002 2:30 pm ET
by Unrepentant Failure of The Hinterlands
Uhnnfff ... intestines knot
Potato salad went bad
I really must poop
Haiku # 23679, December 3, 2002 2:18 pm ET
by Unrepentant Failure of the Hinterlands
There is so much work
The workers are so lazy
The checkbook's open
Haiku # 23678, December 3, 2002 3:08 am ET
by R. of PT
But when they get it
Then I can discuss with them
If they really care
Haiku # 23677, December 3, 2002 3:00 am ET
by R. of PT
First it must be clear -
If they want to convince me
forget about it
Haiku # 23676, December 3, 2002 2:58 am ET
by R. of PT
yeah, I wuv Chwismusss
yup, I rewwy rewwy do
Mewwy Chwismusss All
Haiku # 23675, December 2, 2002 8:47 pm ET
by Elmer Fudd
Thanksgiving is code
for ritual sacrifice
Christmas is coming
Haiku # 23674, December 2, 2002 4:22 pm ET
by titus wong
I haven't the time
or the will or the conscience
to make my mark here
Haiku # 23673, December 2, 2002 4:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
what did you think of
our fair city? did you go
anywhere while here?
Haiku # 23672, December 2, 2002 3:43 pm ET
by k
beautiful weather
is a pretty relative
concept, don't you think?
Haiku # 23671, December 2, 2002 3:42 pm ET
by k_who_prefers_fog_and_cloudy_weather of SF
Weekend in SF
A really beautiful place
Weather was nice too
Haiku # 23670, December 2, 2002 3:33 pm ET
by Janis of Toronto
R, you were put here
to serve a higher purpose:
write more Spam haiku.
Haiku # 23669, December 2, 2002 1:42 pm ET
by God (I can't get enough of that Spam haiku)
I nearly forgot
all about the Earth, you know -billions of planets...

Haiku # 23668, December 2, 2002 1:30 pm ET
by God
One thing I would change:
Pi is just way, way too long.
Next time it's just three.
Haiku # 23667, December 2, 2002 1:27 pm ET
by God
Thank you so much, R!
So this Creation of Mine -
you think it's okay?
Haiku # 23666, December 2, 2002 1:22 pm ET
by God
but she said she loved
me...as she xeroxed her butt
at Christmas party
Haiku # 23665, December 2, 2002 12:16 pm ET
by onjaysun (as for you Boss Guy..)
k, the only x
cia agent, is a
dead cia agent
Haiku # 23664, December 2, 2002 12:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
With a pure purpose,
truly counting on His help
It just cannot fail
Haiku # 23663, December 2, 2002 2:44 am ET
by R. of PT
J'etais agite' -
et grace a Ta bienveillance
je me suis calme'
Haiku # 23662, December 2, 2002 2:43 am ET
by R. of PT
K, I too saw 8
mile today, what did you
think of the movie?
Haiku # 23661, December 1, 2002 9:47 pm ET
by some internet chick
Oh shit it seems
I'm new to this dreadful place
I must aquire friends
Haiku # 23660, December 1, 2002 6:44 pm ET
by Tractor In Balls of Mt.Nebo ,WV
I wish you wouldn't
speaking in tongues is better
now that's my language
Haiku # 23659, December 1, 2002 11:03 am ET
by mellie
Four languages now -
Could post in a few more too
but maybe I won't
Haiku # 23658, December 1, 2002 10:29 am ET
by R. of PT
Per un nonnulla
mi sono agitato -
mi Hai salvato !
Haiku # 23657, December 1, 2002 10:26 am ET
by R. of PT
Piena bufera
Stomaco in subbuglio -
Pronto Soccorso
Haiku # 23656, December 1, 2002 10:24 am ET
by R. of PT
What we want to see
is eight lights, but much before
next Saturday night
Haiku # 23655, December 1, 2002 10:09 am ET
by R. of PT
Ce soir trois bougies -
Demain elles seront soit quatre
soit (je l'espere) huit !
Haiku # 23654, December 1, 2002 10:05 am ET
by R. of PT
making Christmas gifts...
bookbinding is pretty cool;
journals for haikus
Haiku # 23653, December 1, 2002 6:34 am ET
by k
going to see 8
Mile tomorrow morning
and three other films....
Haiku # 23652, December 1, 2002 6:31 am ET
by k of buy one ticket see four films.....
the world is a mirror
so that the sea is sky...sky...
empty shell of air
Haiku # 23651, December 1, 2002 6:21 am ET
by k
had dinner with an
ex-CIA agent. Of
course I wasn't warned.....
Haiku # 23650, December 1, 2002 6:19 am ET
by k of details...details...
insomnia and
art seem to work well into
3:00 am or so
Haiku # 23649, December 1, 2002 6:17 am ET
by k
Mitzrim, ashurim,
bavliim, veyevanim -
R'u kama nissim
Haiku # 23648, December 1, 2002 6:07 am ET
by R. of PT
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