Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

cold cold cold cold cold
winter, canada, cold, bad
bad bad bad bad bad
Haiku # 2967, January 26, 2000 1:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
quiero mujer
con tetas muy grande
y chucha dulce
Haiku # 2966, January 26, 2000 10:25 am ET
by mondongo of Houston
Endlessly you scroll
Will you find the latest post?
We need therapy!
Haiku # 2965, January 26, 2000 6:01 am ET
by <@>Coffee<@>
Dog piss on carpet
No more shall I deal with this
Out damned spot I say!
Haiku # 2964, January 26, 2000 5:39 am ET
by <@>Coffee<@>
What is a "lezzer"
O baldheaded Messr?And
May I have one too?
Haiku # 2963, January 25, 2000 8:00 pm ET
by <@>Coffee<@>
I shout at the screen
lady, run for it! you''ll drown!
Peter North prepares
Haiku # 2962, January 25, 2000 7:32 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
california time
traffic sounds through crooked walls
impossible sky
Haiku # 2961, January 25, 2000 7:30 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
naming my demons
I chased them away from here
temporarily
Haiku # 2960, January 25, 2000 7:22 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Wind blows, air stinks,
Nasal passages blocked up,
TV answers all needs,
Haiku # 2959, January 25, 2000 3:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Somebody gets my thanks
You''ve broken the law today
It arrived just fine
Haiku # 2958, January 25, 2000 3:29 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
when my back fucks up
i sounds like i"m having sex
whenever i move
Haiku # 2957, January 25, 2000 5:13 am ET
by ash
underneath facades
close to the epicentre
some truths still exist
Haiku # 2956, January 25, 2000 5:11 am ET
by ash
The last one was mine
And yes I do have a chip
Upon my shoulder
Haiku # 2955, January 24, 2000 10:06 pm ET
by Floatation Device
It''s a modern myth
That men are unable to
Give cunnilingus
Haiku # 2954, January 24, 2000 10:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I wonder more that
Men want sex with bald-headed
Flat-chested lezzers
Haiku # 2953, January 24, 2000 9:59 pm ET
by Floatation Device
Why do some men think
Lesbians want sex with them?
Smegma is so eww!
Haiku # 2952, January 24, 2000 4:11 pm ET
by Coffee of USA
The inside of my
Thighs kind of smell like mushrooms
From recent contact.
Haiku # 2951, January 24, 2000 10:08 am ET
by Fatty
I had a dog with
a funny name. Would you like
to hear it? Would you?
Haiku # 2950, January 24, 2000 10:05 am ET
by Nathaniel of Little Rock,
It never snows in
Little Rock, it only will
Piss nasty rain down
Haiku # 2949, January 24, 2000 10:03 am ET
by Nathaniel of Little Rock,
Nobody reads this
maybe they come by and look
I can not blame them
Haiku # 2948, January 24, 2000 10:02 am ET
by Nathaniel of Little Rock,
Texas navy beans,
A fruit that makes corn bread complete.
Spoonful and a smile.
Haiku # 2947, January 24, 2000 9:56 am ET
by Nathaniel of Little Rock,
Belly button kiss
Is what pushes my buttons
Lay back and cum quick
Haiku # 2946, January 24, 2000 3:58 am ET
by Sarah-rednutpeanut of rah, blah
IRONY

The more intensely
you want it, the less chance you
have of getting it.

Haiku # 2945, January 23, 2000 8:31 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
I try to think of
something intelligent to
say. I have no luck.
Haiku # 2944, January 23, 2000 6:09 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
I see the monsters.
An unshared reality
forces me to scream.
Haiku # 2943, January 23, 2000 6:03 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Shagmeister ha ha!
mail you a joint in your dreams
the shit resides here
Haiku # 2942, January 22, 2000 10:37 am ET
by Basho-rigormortis
tears on my pillow
dark sorrow strains my bowels
hari-kari songs
Haiku # 2941, January 22, 2000 10:28 am ET
by Basho-rigami
vicki has weird toes
they''re blue and yellow and green
they freak me out, lots!
Haiku # 2940, January 21, 2000 11:52 pm ET
by psycho delic
I drink the water
But look something is floating
Who backwashed in this
Haiku # 2939, January 21, 2000 11:36 am ET
by Heming Ernestway of Huntington Beach,
the sound of lovin''
keeps me awake on the couch
gramma is too loud
Haiku # 2938, January 20, 2000 7:09 pm ET
by Thunder Stork
Walls start to close in
Squeezing me out to face life
Like a rigid turd
Haiku # 2937, January 20, 2000 4:48 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
In my underwear
I see bitter cold outside
I love my heater
Haiku # 2936, January 20, 2000 4:38 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
A haiku bender
Comes from this cabin fever
God please help us all
Haiku # 2935, January 20, 2000 4:32 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Nipples stand erect
Trying to break from their shirts
I just watch and wait
Haiku # 2934, January 20, 2000 4:30 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Wicked wicked girls
They show me their stuff for free
I''m not complaining
Haiku # 2933, January 20, 2000 4:25 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Somebody help me
Stuck indoors from the snow storm
Mail me a joint
Haiku # 2932, January 19, 2000 5:35 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Tree lines fade away
The Great Plains are seen ahead
God this land is dull
Haiku # 2931, January 19, 2000 5:34 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
I met this one girl
She gave me some body paints
I am now Master
Haiku # 2930, January 19, 2000 5:32 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Earrings dangling
Swaying back and forth at night
Sadness fills the air
Haiku # 2929, January 19, 2000 5:29 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Hot sex on Sunday
Strawberry cheesecake ice cream
Oooh am I hungry!!!
Haiku # 2928, January 19, 2000 5:28 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
A koala bear
Hanging from a tree sleeping
Dreams of other lands
Haiku # 2927, January 19, 2000 5:23 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
what I''d like to see:
a giant german shepard
eating a monkey
Haiku # 2926, January 19, 2000 9:38 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
your mom looked real good
I said "Hi Mrs. Hot Bitch!"
your dad strangled me
Haiku # 2925, January 19, 2000 9:33 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
paycheck spent on snacks
afternoons of self abuse
oliver''s a jinx
Haiku # 2924, January 19, 2000 9:31 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
seven haitian whores
a ninety dollar phone bill
my wife is puzzled
Haiku # 2923, January 19, 2000 9:29 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
i am perma fryed
I took a tab of acid
Now I''m all strung out
Haiku # 2922, January 19, 2000 7:12 am ET
by Psycho delic
i am perma fryed
I took a tab of acid
Now I''m all strung out
Haiku # 2921, January 19, 2000 7:11 am ET
by Psycho delic
genitalia
are all they can talk about
repetitively
Haiku # 2920, January 19, 2000 3:33 am ET
by ash
my omnipotence
universally awesome
never self conscious
Haiku # 2919, January 19, 2000 3:31 am ET
by ash
lameness is the key
it flows freely for a cause
i hate gothic chicks

white make-up dark hair
black crushed velvet dressed to scare
obscure dumb nicknames
Haiku # 2918, January 19, 2000 2:24 am ET
by oldnasty
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