Knock knock. Who is there?
I eat mop. I eat mop who?
Ewww! That's disgusting!

Feeling defeated?
Then, sir, you are defeated.
Order Viagra. ;-)

The captcha is now
Neoffini 884.
WHAT DOES IS ALL MEAN?!?!

I feel defeated
like life can't overcome and
I am stuck for good

yes stick your head in
rubber whilst I think I can cause
the world to end with

a thought

A pervert unprobed
A stink skank w/ N2O
asphyxiation.

Inappropriate
beastiality pictures
on my computer.

I'm really into
Galapagos turtle sex
with fat gay midgets.

And the sea snails
Are giving it good to the
Chzech basketball team.

Dolphins are passe.
Ebay has dolphin sex tours
for ninety dollars.

Poets get discounts.
If anyone needs weird sex,
it would be poets.

fill the inkwell well
and then sharpen the quill, will
the words emerge... merge

a prophet unmoved
think tank with no oxygen
aphasiac poet

one shouldn't just write
a sentence and then proclaim
the same a haiku

as far as I know
many of the "outcasts" like
to revel in this

pariah bullshit when
those same people might be the
serpent saves mankind

Outcast never conforming, forming
habits in the gutters of the soul-
scorching revelation of your deepest fears,
hears, feels, only the pain
and none of the joy
ends where life does.

Amidst all your science,
technology, wealth, and splendor,
did you ever imagine it
would give birth
to that such as
I
?

Well, fuck me running!
The link to my novel died.
Those dirty bastards!

(But you can still read it online, thanks to the Russian internet Mafia.)

To hell with it all.
I can't even copy links.
This is the right link:

This site averages
eight point two haiku per day.
I'll go jack off now.

soul of black is mine
haven't shed funny in time
recalibrating

that ostrich gimmick
tickled my proper places
roll with the real thing

the Shirley smothers
herself in apology
never again, girl

wave at mount fuji
that's poetry in motion
is all i'm sayin'

Yo mamma so dumb
She thinks gross income is cash
put in her g-string.

I will hump poodles.
All for the sake of revenge.
They humped my leg first.

world's not perfect, there's
assholes in church and there's the
same outside of church

likewise there's people
who aren't assholes and such is
life, we live, we die

new assholes and not
every generation now
keep firing assholes

Bird evolution
The almighty forsook you
Ostrich can't fly

I hope this one post the way I wrote it!

The evolution
The almighty forsook you
The Ostrich can

Bird evolution
The almighty forsook you
The Ostrich can

why do things go wrong
in groups and things go right in
waves of events

invest in boners
the market is going up
but no-one's buying

so if he drinks too
much at the bar I should not
worry too much then

my velour jacket
forestalls each likely approach
ironic or lame

happenstance waning
tapestry of gathering
this shit's determined

luscious balustrades
supporting flimsy railing
collapse and rebuild

adaptations bland
o'neill and the rest are hams
concoct seminal

mourning elected
a derelict reflection
i'm not Electra

but will you slay the
world serpent with mjolnir
and raise the dead now?

I will climb Fuji.
I will surf a tsunami.
All this in heaven.

it is worth going
on but sometimes not in the
place where we are now

I don't like haiku.
So why am I even here?
Off to the strip club.

Lap dances are fun.
I'll bring a change of undies.
Can't let the wife know.

Oh, damn the glitter.
And the reek of cheap perfume.
I just might get caught.

Fuck it, I'm going!
I'll say the glitter is from
My six-year-old's art.

I hate you bad prick,
I will never eat your beans.
Passing gas hard, ouch.

but then again I
have never written a piece
of writing I have

enjoyed when I felt
I had to prove something to
folks I'm writing to.

do you enjoy your writing?

well my dear sir, if
we had the female body
and personae I

will bet each one of
us would be a little less
"competing" haikus

but isn't buddhism all
about letting shit like this
all go, to nothingness?

I never met a
man obsessessed with the "meta"
who wasn't fretting

merry are the few
who tune in with some routine
filler syllables

perennial warmth
and the occasional darth
home is where you hang

dum dum dum daa daa
daa, daa, daa, daa, dum dum dum
DUM!! DUM!! DUM!!! (boston

pops vader theme there)

Dingleberry pie.
Goes well with Starbucks' coffee.
Munch, munch, munch, sluuurp... Aaaahhhhh.

damn it, we're going
to have to buy you a new
whiskey tumbler now

we give you some time
and we can keep company
to you as world turns

blot the seeping drool
and cast the whiskey tumbler
in the fireplace

now my ass itches
for I've sat upon it long
blast, mighty trumpet

grievous enemy
absence overwhelms presence
stand up and engage

if/when I portray
losses indescribable
revoke my license