dragon boat slingshot
doberman mitten hard hat
robot ham soap box

Although it is rude,
I fart loudly in public,
and then blame cancer.

I will also curse,
and then blame Tourrette's syndrome.
Lying is awesome!

I spread awareness,
while being a complete dick.
fuck! shit! {fart fart fart}.

This is the best burr
-ito I've ever eaten
yum yum yum yum yum

Wondering long time
Choices have consequences
Your mom has herpes

Here is my challenge;
If you look here , write something
Contribute to life

All of you love shirts
Become that thing from last week
Envy air and poof

behold my squirrel
sedated hate metaphor
come on back for more

But a well-paid skank!
Still all the Johnnies want me.
Although old and worn.

kretek tooth packing
eases my pain really well
but tastes fucking vile

Your life decision
Is changing from whore to skank
Congratulations

From whore to madam.
I'm making a huge life change.
And damn it pays good!

i note the tremors
subconscious volcanism
threatens to erupt

why am I so sad?
because I'm not happy like
I think I should be

There are too many
chickens in this world for one
man alone to fuck.

Yes I'm back, but I
See vacation in bondage
This is real torture

Holding my poop in
For five long days and long nights
Clog my friends bathroom

made it justin time
canada oh canada
trudeau or true d'oh ?

output of impulse
no thinking involved at all
easier this way

goodbye my molar
farewell old tooth thirty-five
not without a fight

Stupid fucking spam
Go get fucked roughly by a
Pig covered in shit

We need to get back
to the time we fucked chickens
instead of this shit.

Here's my video of me fucking a bunch of chickens on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7_GNgfzRvo

Fuck all these spammers
Fuck you reading this haiku
Fuck everyone

VW, Audi i Skoda to sa motoryzacyjne smieci. Zreszta teraz bankrutuja po ujamnieniu ich dzialalnosci po

All the sexies poop
Even the hot ones as well
All the good girls poop

Bad farts smell cheese like
Chef smells my dick cheeses too
Not very happy

Being a midget
Would suck a ton of big dicks
Easy to reach though

Vast feelings
Of homo-erotic
Nipple clamps

what's that brief buzzing ?
hark the lonely homophobe
project and deny...

fleet moronism
replete with bastard vision
Stifle it, Edith

Internet hoodlum
Repeating the the same old shit
He's bored with himself

Lobster love
Lobster sea pussy
Lobster shit

brace your tender hearts
tonight we storm the castle
wearing lobster suits

Fuck Halloween
Give out chocolate laxatives
Fuck little kids too

my obsession is
talking rodents in space ships
they could be my friends

Your obsession is
Homosexuality
Please get over it

Having bad day, huh?
Make fun of clowns, they get paid
For their awful lives

Eat beans on a boat.
Raft and fart are anagrams.
The catfish don't mind.

wash your dirty hands
rinse away your filthy day
never getting clean

That last haiku was
Sad as a fucking gay clown
Holy depression.

post here over and
over till you become the one
voice who posts stuff here

Jerk off in steak house
Upset the hibachi chef
He no like my meat

I sport the pants tent
My boner has the fury
Third related thing

I sport the pants tent
My boner has the fury
Third related thing

more than ten years gone
awful as anything good
five seven five

What coincidence?
Time will fuck you upside down
Lather, rinse, repeat

We accept defeat
Goober sledgehammer spammer
Where the fuck are you

Now that you found us
Instead of your heart and mind
Open your asshole

found a haiku site
my heart and mind opened to
viagara posts

The ultimate poem:

It is so profound.
There is nothing left to say.
My life is complete.

I'll now retire.
And go live on a small farm.
Fucking pigs and goats.

You are a dumb fool
My mother is Ursula
All hail the sea witch!