if the internet
were still 1990s like
google would have 50 competitors

all funnier

cats and dogs are aliens
he coomunicates by clawing
and emracing and purring

dogs text by peeing
then smelling

im not an atheist
so ive chosen to believe in something
dukes of hazard

if we had four genders
the concept of a menange a tois
would be incomplete

existential framework
reality is a warped
sense of god thought

wondering if you
should have done stand up rather
than just mathematics

Thing about Japan:
Getting drunk and vomiting
Part of their culture

Everything lacquered
Fake acquiescence, bowing
Robotic toilets

Freaking Japanese:
Cutesy icons, groupthink and
Hyperesthetics

Sorry I was mad.
(Haiku brings out worst in me,
Unlike Starkitten)

Pickles and ice cream?
Anything for you, Goku
Some of my Bad Haiku?

Passing out cigars
Future Haiku Superstars
Resting in Dad's pouch

Like haiku seahorse
You carry all our babies
So call me,maybe?

Starkitten teach you
Relax, picture gentle stream
Now go change your pants

Oh dear, friend Goku
Not to put pressure on you
U the Haiku Dad

So full of Haiku
I thought I was expecting.
First Prize....Collecting.

it's late, i had a
bit of high blood pressure and
now i get the day

off, not an off day

i feel like one man's
personalities are at
each other in "rap..."

Bring it ON, bitches.
I'll kick your lightweight asses
with Haiku verses

Yoko Ono can't
Overcome her slant-eye past:
Modern esthetics

Go synthesize THIS,
mere Haiku poetaster:
Poetry hates you.

Left tard with full flush:
Bring on your dialectic.
Fuck your synthesis !

Horse fart telegram!
Delivered to your sad face.
Methane Tumbleweed!!

Replaced his glass eyes
With his wife's used Ben Wa Balls
Now gives you Stinkeyes

Unmistakable!
Dance of the Constipated
Want to go-go dance

Left turd with no flush
Guilty feet. Got no rhythm.
George Michael wiz here

Ten Penny Henry
Used pennies. Not dimes! Cheater!!
Demi wanted More.

An apparition
Balancing coins on his dink
Meet Patrick Swayze

Come for the ice cream
Stay for the cunnilingus
69 Flavours

Moon Ceremony
We walk together. Tails High.
Scat illuminated

Starkitten laugh now
Haiku of old alley cat
Meow of Innocence

When I crave Haiku
Starkitten won't disappoint:
sleaze, sleaze and more sleaze

Wasted Caviar
Abandoned Aquarium
Yoko Ono's cunt

Sampled the buffet
Infection d'yeast: Soup of Day
Ball Cheese crudités

Sarah Jessica
Ferris Bueler Dutch ovened
Horsefaced Biodome
Encouraged to fart freely


Yes, as I recall
Your exact words: Ambrosia
Our

Whiskers twitch. You rang?
You win Golden Pen today
Speak Haikulingus

The banquet commenced,
fussy in pace. But my wish
was pussy in face.

My horse-face sky-girl
releases celestial light
through rear orifice

Freaky horse-face girl
beautiful, ultra-violet:
my kind of E.T

I farted quickly
then she came; clouds of glory
bliss greater than stench

Wait wait wait... my bad.
It's the Brazillians that are
hard into fart porn.

Now I am inspired !
Fart-talk here on Bad Haiku:
my inner gas-child ☺

my mind is evil
law lf attraction vs a
grace of God thing, kay?

politicians...

we're usually fucked when they
are in office

I could fart on you.
If only you would let me.
Just like in Japan.

There was a fat frog.
It liked to swim and eat bugs.
That's pretty much it.

I came too quickly.
She was not happy at all.
And then I farted.

Give leprechauns head
Invite them to bed. You'll see.
Money, Money! Yeah!

Law of Attraction
Get a piece of the action
Visualize it, dude

Fuck a giant clam
Risky! Dick might get a slam
Wham bam thank you clam

I want tons of cash,
but don't want to work for it.
Any suggestions?