Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Mugabe dessert:
Africa flambee'd in rum:
Red rum, red rum. Red.
Haiku # 65939, September 16, 2019 11:58 am ET
by Kijongo Mvumakijikoliwili of pronounceable names
Hello there.
Haiku # 65938, September 16, 2019 3:34 am ET
by
That is just not true.
Werther's candy still exists.
Here's the ugly truth.

Grandpa hated you.
The ugliest grandson.
He left out of shame.

So your parents lied.
He told me this over beer.
So I know it's true.
Haiku # 65937, September 16, 2019 3:34 am ET
by
Grandpa wiped a year
There were no more Werther's left
So he killed himself
Haiku # 65936, September 16, 2019 1:43 am ET
by The of End
Hello there.
Haiku # 65935, September 16, 2019 1:10 am ET
by
Once upon a time...
a poet had Alzheimer's.
So I guess "The End."
Haiku # 65934, September 16, 2019 1:00 am ET
by
It was raining dead prostitutes.
The perverts had a heyday.
So did the canibals.
The frogs were upset.
They just wanted some real rain.
So they could fuck, of course.
Haiku # 65933, September 16, 2019 12:57 am ET
by
It will not come out.
I'm trying to shit a brick.
The baby's crying.
Haiku # 65932, September 15, 2019 8:22 pm ET
by Clinched sphincter and constipation. of I need Fiber One.
Hello there.
Haiku # 65931, September 15, 2019 8:19 pm ET
by
I just got dessert.
Chocolate mousse with espresso.
Just like Mugabe.
Haiku # 65930, September 15, 2019 8:19 pm ET
by
Robert Mugabe:
Now the once-great dictator
Gets his just desserts.
Haiku # 65929, September 15, 2019 12:55 pm ET
by Mfulemi Kijungawili of Copenhagen
Hello there.
Haiku # 65928, September 15, 2019 4:38 am ET
by
I have been told that
the aliens monitor
and rate each haiku

according to its
intensity of badness.
They won't tell me why.
Haiku # 65927, September 15, 2019 4:37 am ET
by
Unsure what to do?
Rhyming haiku stick with you.
Much like super glue.
Haiku # 65926, September 15, 2019 4:27 am ET
by
The stink of the dink,
be it purple, red, or pink,
means you should take zinc.

I think, therefore I spam.

Online zinc supplements and Viagra.
onlinestinkydinkpillsfromcanada.com
Haiku # 65925, September 15, 2019 4:25 am ET
by
They made a mistake
And wished they were sea monkeys
And they got their wish
Haiku # 65924, September 14, 2019 6:47 pm ET
by Casual Observer of Behind binoculars
I will rend your limbs.
You will be a pile of blood
After this haiku
Haiku # 65923, September 14, 2019 6:16 pm ET
by Chingis Khan of Mongolia
I'ma git me some...
Some a dat BAD BAD haiku.
What I'm talkin' bout.
Haiku # 65922, September 14, 2019 8:31 am ET
by Tyrone in a Fine Cadillac of 42nd Street in the 70s
So Cal, so go surf.
Mavericks would be awesome.
Just kidding; don't die.
Haiku # 65921, September 14, 2019 7:26 am ET
by
I'm back in SoCal
But I won't be here too long
Just biding my time.
Haiku # 65920, September 14, 2019 2:32 am ET
by mean d. of So Cal
Your life is pointless.
I mean, just look at yourself.
You read bad haiku!
Haiku # 65919, September 13, 2019 6:29 pm ET
by Victim of the Glaringly Obvious. of Make it Stop!
Actually, Adam
made his own banana stand
And Eve snatched it up
Haiku # 65918, September 13, 2019 4:06 pm ET
by Bible beater of Undisclosed
No bed of roses
Honey, while you were sleeping
I pruned your manhood
Haiku # 65917, September 13, 2019 2:52 am ET
by True Story of In the news
These pistachios
God made something so tasty
Intestine shrapnel
Haiku # 65916, September 13, 2019 2:24 am ET
by like I must be nuts of Nuthouse
Eve was handy too
Made the first banana stand
Adam snatched it up
Haiku # 65915, September 13, 2019 2:17 am ET
by Bible beater of Garden
Jesus Christ is a
charitable carpenter
and he gives me wood.
Haiku # 65914, September 13, 2019 1:57 am ET
by Gay for Jesus
Can't find the right words
To tell you in this poem
So I will just fart
Haiku # 65913, September 13, 2019 1:07 am ET
by Gasbag of Methane Lane
This does not make sense.
If it made sense, you'd read it.
Stop licking the screen.

That won't get you high.
Try vinegar latte shots.
Attacked by purple.

She will not fuck you.
Not vaginally I mean.
Break dance battle whore.
Haiku # 65912, September 12, 2019 11:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What could I tell you
that you haven't heard before.
Sardine-stuffed gold flute.
Haiku # 65911, September 12, 2019 11:48 pm ET
by Bouree with a side of flounder
Claustrophobia
For the midget I sat on
At the Bingo Hall
Haiku # 65910, September 12, 2019 11:35 pm ET
by Polly Esther Pantz of No ventilation
Refresh each minute.
I must have the last haiku
when the earth explodes.
Haiku # 65909, September 12, 2019 11:25 pm ET
by
Avocado toast
Three cheers for this funny fruit
Let's all drink to that
Haiku # 65908, September 12, 2019 11:25 pm ET
by Drunk of Barstool
Head on collision
one last duck face selfie, please
You've got it in you
Haiku # 65907, September 12, 2019 11:22 pm ET
by Person of Picking up intestines on highway
Robber Mugabe
Whoops! Sorry I meant Robert...
Trashed his own country.

Zimbabwe's lyin--
Sorry, meant to say lion...
Now more a dead dog.
Haiku # 65906, September 12, 2019 8:47 pm ET
by Memories of Rhodesia
Somalia called.
Their women want their clits back.
I sent them to Darth.
Haiku # 65904, September 12, 2019 7:04 pm ET
by Sheikh of the Desert Wastes
Do not suck his "dink"!
You will get botulism.
Among other things.
Haiku # 65903, September 12, 2019 4:55 pm ET
by Clostridium botulinum of Zellweger's revenge.
Wobbert Smiff whining
Two, maybe three chords at best.
That's most of the Cure
Haiku # 65902, September 12, 2019 11:46 am ET
by but I still like "Killing an Arab"
Botox injections
Now my boring dink looks like
Renee Zellweger
Haiku # 65901, September 12, 2019 11:16 am ET
by U. Look different of Undisclosed
If your cock's too small
and her cunt is enormous,
try corn on the cob.
Haiku # 65900, September 12, 2019 10:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The music was dull.
He defeated Mecha Streisand.
That's all that matters.
Haiku # 65899, September 11, 2019 11:38 pm ET
by And you know he partied like no tomorrow. of I mean, wouldn't you?!
Be on time tonight
I'll be carrying a bag
Of unmarked assholes
Haiku # 65898, September 11, 2019 11:37 pm ET
by Bag holder of Appointed place
Only memories:
TSA groping my crotch.
And a new skyline.
Haiku # 65897, September 11, 2019 11:34 pm ET
by
Wittle Wobbert Smiff
Made boring droning music
Back in the eighties.
Haiku # 65896, September 11, 2019 9:43 pm ET
by Pasty-Faced Brits of Teen Existentialism
Forgot it was there
Bagel and a schmear of lox
Left in my forehead!
Haiku # 65895, September 11, 2019 9:35 pm ET
by Noticer of Details (Not)
Crime fighting choices.
Catwoman in area.
Batman packs condoms.
Haiku # 65893, September 11, 2019 8:13 pm ET
by Holy spermicide, Batman!
Last slurp of coffee
Moth caught between two soft paws
Catwoman's day starts
Haiku # 65892, September 11, 2019 12:23 pm ET
by Catwoman of Gotham
Criminals in fear.
Batman's shadow on the wall.
Moth near the light bulb.
Haiku # 65891, September 11, 2019 8:50 am ET
by
Write shitty haiku
What?....nothing better to do
While taking a poo
Haiku # 65890, September 11, 2019 7:19 am ET
by Captain Kirk
Talked to a phone ho
Fell asleep before I came
Just like in real life
Haiku # 65889, September 11, 2019 7:15 am ET
by I make love to my wife.I just fuck yours.
That chop suey place
The Board of Health shut them down
I still have the shits
Haiku # 65888, September 11, 2019 1:32 am ET
by Still Shitting of Near the nearest terlit
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