Don't have anything
except the haiku you write
At least I have that

The food is much worse
than their atrocious spelling;
cell phones make it worse.

Filipino Philippino Filipina Philippina
Piliffffines Pill-fiends.

Married a whore and moved here to die.
Cheating slut. They all are.

Can't even spell it.
What a ridiculous word:
PHILIPPINES. How dumb.

So why does Darth live
Over in the Phillipines?
Could it be THAT? Hmmmmmm...

The Law of Multiple Proportions says that some boobs are big and others are small, some are firm and some droop, and that's just the way it is. They come in all shapes and sizes.

But I didn't sing.
The birds are responsible.
I'll let them have that.

Sorry, that was me.
Don't want birds taking credit.
My new drone drops poop.

The streets are empty
But the birds go on singing
Shitting on statues

Bump clump chump dump flump grump Gump hump jump lump pump plump rump slump stump sump Trump thump.

The rump clump went thump.
Would you hump Trump on a stump?
Orange grump takes a dump.

Do not get a mop!
Just do the funky sock hop.
Like on Happy Days.

In the voting booth
Figpucker votes his conscience
Someone get a mop!

Ocean confetti
That sea horse ejaculate
In the mood for love?

If voting's private,
how did they know what I did
in the voting booth?

Voting is pointless.
The decisions have been made
before elections.

in america
vote early and vote often
don't be a loser

I think I love you.
Let's hook-up and get married.
I'll have your babies.

Let's talk politics.
It can't get much worse than that.
Vomit inducing.

Jesus! I told you
I am NOT a figpucker.
I gave all that up.

I've gone cold turkey.
... hold on! Forget I said that.
Now take a deep breath.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
CUNTFART CUNTFART CUNTFART CUNT!
There, now I'm better.

Dear lady has a
vagina like a Big Mac
I'm in the Drive thru

I want my freedom
No responsibility
And a lotta guns

Hey: Darth's life matters!
Let's take it to tha streetz NOW.
Darth needs justice, y'all.

Do you care?

Neighborhood murder
predicted in tarot cards
The Bathrobe Killer

Hello citizens.
Please refrain from compliance
With all state commands.

That would be enough:
Restoration of all things.
I would be content.

Protective cover
Does it go on your penis?
Or on the keyboard?

just letting you know
I put it all together
and came up with this

I've been watching female weightlifters on Youtube.
Now my keyboard's all sticky.
I really need one of those protective covers.

Overnight dirt mounds
Voles humping under the tiles
Fuck this landscaping

Mexico City
In the underground labyrinth
Rata Gigante!

Japanese taco
made with fresh octopus meat;
a tako taco!

Did you have to break
up with me when my mouth was
full of your hot cum?

His schlong smelled like ham
And he wore pants made of bread
Let's do lunch some time

His schlong smelled like ham
And he wore pants made of bread
Let's do lunch some time

That crisp autumn air
Once again I'm on my knees
Blowing the mailman

Nineteen sixty-eight.
That was a year for revolt.
Really helped the Left . . .

You keep talking that
Japanese octopus talk
I'll do anything

I don't 69.
I much prefer 68.
Never heard of it?

That's where you do me.
And then I will owe you 1.
Tomorrow. Promise!

Teach me 69
You sexy mathematician
Teach me gozintas

I'm no longer a figpucker.
I've given up pork and decided to go Kosher. That means I cannot sodomize lobsters or other strange sea animals as well. But whores are okay. Plenty of those around here, I tell you!

The next time I'm stateside,
I'll look you up so we can have
a wild affair to write bad
haiku about.

His schlong smelled like ham.
Ham that was left out for weeks.
I ran, vomiting.

He chased and caught me.
Now I smell like rotten pork.
There's pus in my hair.

You can say what you want, that's not as disgusting as pineapple on pizza. RIGHT?!

Oh Darth Figpucker
Now you've got my attention
I'll be right over

If the zombie apocolypse happens and there are some fresh ones out there, I'm getting the handcuffs and KY.

And that doesn't really stop the fact that my balls are itching and you look like you could use a salty refreshment. Have a bloody mary w/ my scrotal sweat.

Actually, no, the electric socket doesn't have near enough juice. Maybe if you have some special 440 outlet and go from one hand to the outlet and the other to a water pipe (ground). And it's the current that gets you... so have to bypass the breaker if possible. It's harder than you think... so many safety precautions these days.

Sweet blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I've been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Thanks stolo.infoforwomen.be/map27.php finja bemix high tech

If you stick a fork
in electrical socket
You will get your wish

I love high voltage.
If ever I'm put to death,
I hope it's the chair.

It's going to get worse.
Polarization times ten.
Fuck all the zombies.