Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

The Honeymoon Suite
A penis dressed like Elvis
rests on crushed velvet
Haiku # 69635, January 15, 2021 10:00 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of TMZ
C'mon high roller
Let's run off to Vegas, Darth
(Clink) Jackpot spilling
Haiku # 69634, January 15, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by Feline Hitchhiker of Getting off on the on ramp
Pigeons are fine birds
Consider it your good luck
when they shit on you
Haiku # 69633, January 15, 2021 9:35 pm ET
by A. Pigeon of Rooftop
Let's Netflix and chill
Sorry about the frostbite
Clam shipped in dry ice
Haiku # 69632, January 15, 2021 9:32 pm ET
by Concerned and Nosy of Undisclosed
Mild Constipation
His Blood Type: Expensive Cheese
Atypical dink
Haiku # 69631, January 15, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by Baffled Physician of holding green stool sample
Hey, get off your ass!
Hey, why are you on my ass?
Hey, you're an asshole.
Haiku # 69630, January 15, 2021 8:07 pm ET
by G. Yurassismelli of Back door
Penis Repair Shop
This one's having a solder
That one can't be fixed
Haiku # 69629, January 15, 2021 8:01 pm ET
by Huge Bill of Invoice on a messy desk
Barracuda jaws
You weren't paying attention
Clampdown on your dink
Haiku # 69628, January 15, 2021 7:58 pm ET
by Martha Raye of Grave
Water bear orgy?!
That's soooo retardigraded!
But I think you'll go.
Haiku # 69627, January 15, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by Box of condoms for your birthday.
Pursuit of penis.
Three is no intellegence.
Tardigrades also fuck.

Strife, puberty, and
the pursuit of a penis.
Alien able.

Emansipation.
Set your own Goddamn self free.
You fat, lazy whore.
Haiku # 69626, January 15, 2021 7:23 pm ET
by The Prostiution of The United States of 'Murica. Emansepation constipation separation -- rid yourself of like shit, I did! I do declare! Forty-second Ammendment.
The drunken pattern.
She Mandel-brought the red wine.
But then he escaped.

Back to the gay bar.
Where things got a bit messy.
BifurcatingPoo.
Haiku # 69625, January 15, 2021 7:02 pm ET
by But I'm sure you knew.
Always in pursuit
Of the bigger better bang.
Pure astrophysics.
Haiku # 69624, January 15, 2021 5:17 pm ET
by Theories of Intelligent Design
Always in pursuit
Of the bigger better bang.
Pure astrophysics.
Haiku # 69623, January 15, 2021 5:16 pm ET
by Theories of Intelligent Design
Solar ejections:
Spasmodic spurts into space
From the corona
Haiku # 69622, January 15, 2021 10:03 am ET
by Sexy Solar Flares of Outer Space
Please do not fear the
gaseous ejaculate.
Here's a free sample.
Haiku # 69621, January 15, 2021 6:56 am ET
by Clean your glasses.
Maybe it's a worm.
Maybe it's a pachyderm.
Ether makes me squirm.
Haiku # 69620, January 15, 2021 6:53 am ET
by Enticer of the snails.
Let us reminisce
the penile flatulence.
Effervescent sperm.
Haiku # 69619, January 15, 2021 2:18 am ET
by Maybe it's a worm.
One-eyed prostitute.
I'll keep an eye out for you.
Glass eye lubricant.
Haiku # 69618, January 15, 2021 2:15 am ET
by Lubricant pube you can't of Find in the behind the old stinky pussy won't-oh
The junk's in the trunk.
I wet humped the cheese thinking
Of your dry pillow.
Haiku # 69617, January 15, 2021 2:11 am ET
by Can't you get your facts straight?! of Nothing but fake news and lies your entire life!
Under old willow
Darth dry humped his pillow. (moan)
whilst thinking of cheese
Haiku # 69616, January 14, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by Legends of of Haiku Fairy Tales
Do you look for slime?
I didn't see much eyeballs
or any pubes
Haiku # 69615, January 14, 2021 9:37 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
The centipede's junk
How do you tell the difference?
Like, what end's the junk?
Haiku # 69614, January 14, 2021 9:34 pm ET
by Carcass Tosser of Haiku Junkyard
When we speak of food,
should it be before eaten,
or when it comes out?

Or continuous
recycling like in The
Human Centipede?

If given a choice,
would you pick the front or back?
That is a tough one!
Haiku # 69613, January 14, 2021 7:11 pm ET
by Poetry Etiquette of Emily Post Toasties
Darth Figpucker's Guide
to the Finer Things in Life
Book Signing (dink pen)
Haiku # 69612, January 14, 2021 4:27 pm ET
by Pen Stealer of Using your pen to write this
Carrots, peas, onions
Beets, scallions, corn, ghost peppers
All haunting my shit
Haiku # 69611, January 14, 2021 4:21 pm ET
by I. Ain't afraid of No Ghost Peckers
Donald's not finished.
Q told me so. It's all fake.
Trump shall RISE AGAIN!
Haiku # 69610, January 14, 2021 10:05 am ET
by A False Preacher of a False Profit
Shniffle doople plonk.
Shlop bop ba loo bop plah-doooo.
Rham-schtankerfiendom.
Haiku # 69609, January 14, 2021 8:58 am ET
by z d x y j
Deserted island
Maybe wearing a loin cloth
Permanent boner
Haiku # 69608, January 14, 2021 7:56 am ET
by Middle Aged of Blue Lagoon
Describe some more food
Almost as good as eating
Say something spicy
Haiku # 69607, January 14, 2021 7:46 am ET
by I'll have of what Darth's having
Bad Haiku News

Trump Impeached again
Flint water: Rick Snyder charged
Trump "Don't pay Rudy"
Haiku # 69606, January 14, 2021 7:25 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Quarantine boredom
Pleasure myself with haiku
Finish myself off
Haiku # 69605, January 14, 2021 2:40 am ET
by hhtigerlily of Hotel Quarantine
Quarantine boredom
My hot online fantasy
Is just a ghost fuck
Haiku # 69604, January 14, 2021 2:37 am ET
by hhtigerlily of Hotel Quarantine
Why are those boys proud?
They've not done anything good.
Counterexamples?
Haiku # 69603, January 14, 2021 1:20 am ET
by It's a beautiful day in the neigborhood. of A beautiful day for a neighbor.
I will soon be home.
There I'll eat something yummy.
Maybe I'll tell you.
Haiku # 69602, January 14, 2021 1:18 am ET
by Maybe not.
Diagonalized
subhyperdimensional
linearity.

I near pooped myself.
And it isn't even real.
Santa Claus told me.
Haiku # 69601, January 14, 2021 1:15 am ET
by Curt Kobain's grandmother's dog's former owner's great granddaughter. of Or something.
That Szechuan haiku
Stolen from the Japanese
Cheap Chinese ripoffs
Haiku # 69600, January 13, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by Me Chinee, me play joke, me put peepee in yo Coke. of Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these!
That Szechuan chicken
With the three kinds of pepper
Better than haiku
Haiku # 69599, January 13, 2021 9:02 pm ET
by Poetry Toks of Bullshit Woks
Where the hell are you?
Come on now, don't die on me.
Tell me I'm so wrong!
Haiku # 69598, January 13, 2021 8:16 pm ET
by I know, you just have a hangover. of And dried up jizz from the boys you blew stuck in your hair.
What, you're still asleep?!
Get your fat ass out of bed!
Make some damn breakfast!
Haiku # 69597, January 13, 2021 10:06 am ET
by Gordon Ramsay of And don't fuck up the eggs!
The dairy cow mooed.
The sheep just stared and bleated.
The pig did TikTok.
Haiku # 69596, January 13, 2021 7:28 am ET
by I swear it's true!
What is wrong with you?
How can you post such vile filth?
What made you this way?
Haiku # 69595, January 13, 2021 6:01 am ET
by Detailer of notices. of Decease and decyst.
I don't hate women,
but I sneak in their restrooms
and pee on the seats.
Haiku # 69594, January 13, 2021 3:58 am ET
by Revenge against angry mother. of Starbucks Coffee, of course.
Infuse HIV
into the covid membrane.
Hey, it's worth a shot.
Haiku # 69593, January 13, 2021 3:55 am ET
by Pesky humans. of Viruses Helping Viruses
How have I performed?
Please rate me at Yelp dot com.
I will send you nudes.
Haiku # 69592, January 13, 2021 3:53 am ET
by Whore of Downtown
Do cows enjoy drugs?
We need to experiment
then survey the cows.
Haiku # 69591, January 13, 2021 3:49 am ET
by GoFundMe/Donate/HappyCows of One dose for you, one for me... one for you... 10 for me.
At the capital
dose all the Proud Boy rebels.
It would have been fun.
Haiku # 69590, January 13, 2021 3:33 am ET
by LSD will set you free.
Cars powered by farts
Breakdown on Methane Highway
They ran out of gas
Haiku # 69589, January 13, 2021 2:04 am ET
by Siphoning Sucks of Ass
I'm not a robot
Ever heard of a robot
with a ten pound dink?
Haiku # 69588, January 13, 2021 1:16 am ET
by Heavy Metal Headbangers and Balls of Preparing for shipment
Not asking for much
Just to blend in with your soul
If you still have one
Haiku # 69586, January 12, 2021 11:23 pm ET
by Soul of Whizzing around
In these troubled times
Mandatory pot smoking
Everybody puff
Haiku # 69585, January 12, 2021 11:18 pm ET
by Spot the Dragon of under Herman Munster's stairs
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